A/N: Here's the next one. I hope you all like it!

Special thanks to Sophia0665, jenny crum, CM Fan, red2013, Westie80, Christiangirl and Katia XD!

I don't own criminal minds!

Chapter 24: Heartache

JJ stopped in front of the door to the apartment. She was in the right place and all she had to do was knock on the door. She was a knock away from going for what she wanted and with every second that passed, she was even more sure about her decision.

So she finally knocked on the door and she heard footsteps on the other side. She sighed out in happiness, knowing Hotch was home.

''I'm coming.'' Hotch called out as he made his way to the door. He had no idea who was coming by his apartment. There were only a few people who knew where he lived and he had no idea who could be showing up. He opened the door to see the pretty blonde standing on the other side. He immediately felt his heart racing in his chest. She was wearing shorts and a simple black tank top and she still looked beautiful. ''JJ?'' he whispered.

''Can I come in?'' she asked, her voice filled with longing. She walked past him after he stepped aside. She looked around the apartment and it was exactly what she imagined it to look like. It was simple but it was everything someone needed. It fitted Hotch perfectly. She smiled once she looked at him. His eyes always told her what he felt. The rest of his face was like a mask to her. She had gotten to know his sensitive side.

''Do you like it?'' he asked as he watched walking around the apartment. His eyes were glued on her. But every now and then he let his eyes wonder across her body.

She turned around and walked towards him. She stopped right in front of him. ''It's perfect.'' She said, biting her lip in the process. ''I got your call.''

''You did?'' he asked as he took a step forward. Their bodies were almost touching. ''You didn't have to come all this way to tell me that.'' he whispered. ''You could've called me back.''

''I…'' she said but she was stopped when she felt his hands on her hips. He traced one of his hands upwards along her side. The gentleness of the touch was sensational and she felt her knees going week. ''…I…I…know.'' she whispered.

He pulled his hand away and started to lean closer to her. He felt the warmth of her body melting into his own as he put one hand on her waist and the other cupped her cheek. ''So why are you here?'' he whispered when their lips almost touched. He kept lingering just in front of her to let her decide what to do.

She was getting sick of his teasing. She knew exactly what he was trying to pull but she couldn't wait. The tension was unbearable. So she did the only thing she wanted to do. Her lips crashed onto his immediately and she melted away when she felt him deepening the kiss. All her worries in the world disappeared and she could only focus on him. It was perfect.

Hotch groaned into the kiss as he lifted JJ from the ground. He felt her legs wrapped around him as he turned to the wall and pushed her against it. This kiss wasn't like any he had before. It was heated and passionate but sweet and loving at the same time. He could feel his body responding to her movements against him and he knew he couldn't take this too far. But as he felt their tongues intertwining, he didn't know how much control he could keep. One of his hands was in her long hair as the other was on her side. He struggled with himself, trying to stay in control as he felt JJ becoming more dominant in the kiss.

JJ moaned once she felt his lips move to her neck. Her hands moved from his hair to his chest as she admired the muscles she felt beneath her fingers. He was strong and that made her feel safe. She felt his kisses move down her neck all the way to her chest, but he stopped at her top. She cupped his face and moved her lips against his once more. With every movement she felt the heat in her body rise. She had never felt so alive before. His kisses made her fly so high, she still couldn't believe it was possible. Kissing Sean was good, great even. But kissing Hotch was fantastic, breathtaking and groundbreaking. It was more than she ever imagined it to be.

Hotch got so lost in JJ that he didn't even try to stop her from unzipping his pants. But when her hands were moving down again, he finally snapped back into reality. He couldn't do it like this. He wanted their first time to be in a way JJ deserved. So he pulled away and put JJ back on the ground. He zipped his jeans and straightened himself up. ''We need to stop for a moment.'' he said huskily.

''Why?'' she asked, hoping she didn't do anything wrong. ''Did I do something?''

''Oh god no, JJ. What just happened was amazing but there's so much we need to talk about before we go that far.'' he explained. He wished he didn't have to stop but he couldn't do it to JJ. Eventually he did it for her.

She put a strand of hair behind her ear, knowing what he wanted to talk about. ''Sean asked me to make a choice, Aaron.''

''He did?''

''Yes,'' she replied with a smile on her face. ''I want you, Aaron. I choose you.'' she said as she walked towards him. She gave him a kiss on the lips and she felt him respond instantly.

Those were the words he wanted to hear. She just told him everything he wanted. But deep down he wondered if it was the best. He was afraid that being with her wouldn't be the right thing for her even though it was what he wanted. In every other situation he would've gone for it without thinking about the consequences. He was always selfish but he couldn't be when it came to JJ. He had to think about her.

He pulled her hands down and took a step backwards. He let go of her hands and he immediately saw the change of expression on her face. ''It's not right, JJ.''

''What do you mean?''

''I am selfish! I am the guy that does everything he wants. I don't care about other people.'' he responded with pain in his voice. He saw JJ retreating back when she realized what he was doing. ''But I can't be selfish when it comes to you.''

''Why not?'' she asked with hurt.

He sighed deeply before answering her question. ''Because I love you.'' he confessed. ''I've already brought trouble into your life and I can't keep doing that. I can't be selfish with you because I love you.''

Those three words caused the tears to form in her eyes. ''I can't believe you.'' she mumbled.

''Sean is the better guy, JJ. You deserve someone like him.''

''But I want to be with you.''

''I can't.'' he said as he walked towards the door. He put his hand on the knob and doubted when he looked at her. But he knew he was sparing her the pain that could eventually come. The pain she felt now wouldn't compare to what she could possibly feel in the future.

''Aaron!'' she pleaded as she kept standing in the same spot. The tears were now streaming down her face.

''I'm doing this for you.'' he whispered.

JJ shook her head fiercely. ''No, you're not because this isn't what I want. My life was bad enough before you came into it. Being with you wouldn't change anything.'' she said, trying to convince him.

''It's hard to understand…'' he tried to say but JJ interrupted him.

''What's there to understand?'' she yelled out. ''You either want to be with me or not.''

''I'm doing this for you!'' he repeated. ''It's the best, JJ.''

''This is not for me!'' she said as she finally walked to the door. There seemed to be no way to convince him. ''But I will figure out what you're hiding.'' she said before walking out of the apartment. She slowly made her way back to the car. Once she was inside she broke down completely. The tears kept coming and nothing could stop it.

Hotch watched JJ from his window. He could see her crying in the car and he felt his heart break into a thousand tiny pieces. But it was the best. He was sparing her more pain by doing what he did. He just hoped he could live with his choice one day.