The Funeral of a Good Girl

By – TempestRaces

Chapter Twenty Five – Of Pancakes and Calculating Revenge

"Yeah, why?" Jesse asked.

"Because I was just thinking it'd be fuckin' hilarious to make sure we're gone for about eight hours, show up back at the house and pretend we were gone so long because Leon and I eloped to Vegas and got married. I could go to the mall, get a new outfit and show up home wearin' it so I wouldn't have to get ready for races after we 'got home'. I'll get white so it'll look like it's what I wore to my wedding. We could get some of those tin wedding rings at a dollar store, you know, the ones people use for crafts."

"You're fuckin' evil." Leon grinned. "I like it. They'll all fuckin' shit."

"Remember the time that Vince convinced us Letty was pregnant with twins and Dom wasn't the father and he found out and beat her to death, but they were all in on it but us? This could be payback for that," Jesse said, clearly getting into the whole idea more the more he thought about it. "This would be the practical joke to end practical jokes. You two can pretend to be sloshed when we get home and I'll be all put out like I had to drive your drunk asses all the way home and listen to you suckin' face in the back seat the whole way."

"I'll carry my new bride over the threshold of course, and stumble drunkenly while I do so. They'll never know what hit 'em."

"This is gonna rock." Tempest smiled gleefully and closed her menu with a snap. "I think I'll celebrate with blueberry pancakes. Does that sound suitably festive for the morning of my wedding?"

"Only if you have honey on them. It'll get you in the mood for later." Leon wagged his eyebrows up and down suggestively with a grin.

She chuckled. "I'ma so show up with a bag of whip cream and honey and chocolate sauce for our 'honeymoon'. They're all gonna flip the fuck out."

"How much of this is to get one back at Vince?" Leon asked before he could think better of it. He forgot wasn't supposed to know about the fight.

"Some of it," she admitted. "Some of it's just because it's a really good joke. If I really wanted to get back at V, I wouldn't use you to do it with. You two'll be boys long after I'm just a distant memory, so how'd it be right for me to start shit between you over a week of what amounts to me ignorin' him?"

"You thought you were done with him once before," Jesse reminded gently.

"Yeah, I did. And I let him back in and it was stupid. I don't make a habit of making the same mistake twice. But it's gonna go a long way toward making it up when I see the look on his face when he thinks I married Leon. Even if it is only for five minutes."

"We should be able to sell it for longer than five minutes. Just how far are you willin' to take this?"

"How far does it have to go?" she asked, raising a brow in question.

"What if it has to go to my room, and some noises have to be made?"

"I'm down with that." She grinned. "This is gonna rock."

"We're finally gonna get them back." Jesse smirked. "We been waiting long enough."

The waitress came to their table and they ordered. They finished their plans over breakfast and left the restaurant. Then they did spend a few hours on the beach, lounging in the sun. When they were done, the boys took her to the mall and she went shopping for her 'wedding dress'.

"Leon, it's really scaring me how well you know where to shop for ladies clothes."

"I've had a few girlfriends in my day. And sometimes I even went shopping with them. I know what I like to see my ladies in."

"Not much," Jesse broke in with a laugh.

"Well, true. But before we get to that stage, I like to have a stage of seeing them clothed in nice clothes."

"You two are horrible." Tempest held up a shirt. "What about this?"

"Too everyday," Leon vetoed. "We'll keep looking."

"We're not really getting married, Leon. It's a joke, remember?"

"It's a joke today Gorgeous, but someday you'll be my wife and we'll drive our matching cars around and have the most beautiful green eyed kids anyone ever saw," he answered, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "What's wrong with me that I'm a second place substitute in this situation, huh?"

"The fact that you feel like a relation to me, just like Jess? I think that has somethin' to do with it," she said with a smile.

"Yeah, maybe," he answered, grinning back.

"Well, for the rest of tonight, you better remember that you aren't related. You're gonna have to play it over the top if we're gonna make them believe you guys realized you're so in love that you ran off and got married today."

"Oh, don't worry cuz. We'll sell it."

"In the end a pretty girl is a pretty girl. I won't have any problems living up to my end of the deal." Leon grinned evilly. He then picked up a filmy white shirt off a rack and held it up. "This is more like what I had in mind."

Tempest looked at it critically. It had delicate spaghetti straps which crossed in the back. It was cut like a bikini top in the chest, and was lined in the top. Flowing from the top half was a filmy, unlined section which was slit from the bottom all the way up to the narrow band that ran just under the bosom. "I like it. But what am I gonna do for pants?"

"We'll keep looking."

In the end, she ended up with Leon's top, a pair of white cotton pants which were fitted across the top and thighs but flared out over her feet. She found a pair of new flip flops, white with diamante stars on the strap and a pair of shades with a diamante star on the right hand lens. She added a pair of rhinestone earrings which had stars of various size dangling in various lengths, from right under her lobe all the way to brush her shoulders. They made her change in the bathroom and decided the effect was just what they were looking for. They stopped for her 'supplies' on the way home, and then pulled up to the house. It was ten on the nose when Jesse parked the car.

"You guys ready?"

"Its show time," Tempest answered, grinning.

"Yeah, it's on," Leon added, also grinning a mile wide.

Jesse started up the front walk. Leon followed, an arm around his 'wife's' waist. Due to the amount of liquor she'd had with her dinner, Tempest's drunken sway wasn't all for show. She wasn't drunk, but she was slightly tipsy. She knew it was stupid, but in order to find the courage to pull this kind of prank on someone with the temper of Vince, who looked at her as his own personal property, she needed the Dutch courage. Her bag of props was firmly wrapped around her wrist. When Leon crested the top stair of the porch he swung her up into his arms.

"You ready to be in love with me, Gorgeous?"

"I'm already drownin' in those beautiful eyes."

"Good girl."

Jesse pushed the door open, forcing himself to wipe the grin off his face. He started to scowl, hoping he looked like a man who had just spent the day watching his best friend and cousin get married and make out in front of him.

As soon as they walked past the living room door, Dom called out, "where the hell were you guys?"

"You don't wanna fuckin' know," Jesse answered, rolling his eyes.

It was like Dom and the rest of the group picked then to realize that Leon and Tempest were lost in each other's eyes and Tempest was in Leon's arms.

"Why don't I wanna know?" Dom growled.

"Only 'cause they got drunk and decided that they were in love. They were gonna drive themselves to Vegas, but since I didn't want to let them end up dead on the freeway, I ended up doin' it and then I had to listen to them in the back of the car the whole way home."

"Why'd you drive them to Vegas?" Vince asked in a growl.

"Why else do people go to Vegas?" Jesse asked, still acting put out. "They wanted to get married. I can't imagine wanting to marry someone I'd only known for a week. But I guess they now know they were made for each other." Jesse rolled his eyes again with a sigh. "I hope they're right, 'cause they're married now. Better or worse kinda shit."

"'Cuse me?" Vince asked.

"Yeah, married. Some shit, huh?" Jesse shook his head.

Tempest picked that moment to kick the charade into high gear. "Li desidero prenderli alla base e trasformarli un parfait caldo del fondente," she whispered, just loud enough for the rest of the room to hear. She continued to look up at Leon, hoping the look on her face said 'I want to eat you up.'

"I don't know what you just said, but when you say things to me in that language I go crazy. I can't wait any longer to take you to bed."

She took his head between her hands and kissed him on the mouth. "That works, based on what I just said."

Vince growled, knowing full well exactly what she just said. If she wanted to be anyone's hot fudge Sundae it wasn't going to be Leon's. He didn't know what they were up to, but when he found out he was going to kick Leon's ass and tan hers so red she couldn't sit down for the rest of the time she was there. Then he noticed the gold bands on both their fingers. What the fuck? They had wedding rings?

Without another word to the rest of the group, Leon headed for the kitchen, and the basement stairs. He kept looking down at the woman in his arms with what he hoped was a besotted look. He was really going for totally wrapped up in her, and he thought he was doing a pretty good job when he heard someone slam a fist into a wall. His money was on Vince being the one to attempt to break the plaster. He got a funny feeling in his gut when he realized just how pissed Vince really was, but they were in too deep to go back now.

As soon as they were out of sight, Tempest giggled, trying to mask the sound. "It's working better than we even thought," she whispered. "I really hope that Jesse can keep up his end while we're not in the room."

"Jesse'll do alright." Leon started down the stairs. "I just hope I don't really have to kick V's ass. I won't let him beat the shit outta me over a joke, and he's seriously pissed off. Did you hear him try to smash a hole in the wall?"

"Yeah," she grinned with glee as she said it. "Dom looked like his head was gonna pop too. They're not likely to forgive us right away when they find out this is a gag are they?"

"No," Leon shook his head. "We're gettin' them pretty good. I'd think it's gonna be awhile before they totally forget it."

"Thought so."

They made it to Leon's room and shut the door. Leon threw Tempest back on his bed. She landed on her back, laughing like a loon. "So now what?" she asked.

"We wait to hear them comin' down the stairs, and then we put on the rest of the show."

"Which is?"

"We start talkin' dirty to each other and makin' the appropriate noises in the middle of it all, of course." He smirked.

"This's gonna be the hard part for me."

"Why's that?"

"I'm not much good at dirty talk."

"Well, since I gather V knows that, in the name of keepin' it real, just make the appropriate noises. I'll keep up the dirty talk end." Leon winked.

"Do I wanna know?"

"If you do, you better get out your hot fudge."