Chapter 24

Wes' Great Escape

Wes was still tied up in the chair, now guarded by two guards, both playing cards on the nearby table. They lit up the room more, so Wes could see the space he was in. There was a fire-place, which was now lit, the poker used to flip the wood, a dresser against one of the walls, a shelf with some marble bookends, and an antique axe on the wall. The floor is made up of wooden planks, some of which are in need a repair (Why am I being so specific? Just keep reading, you'll see). He was oddly quiet, just scanning the room, shifting his head side to side.

"Would you stop that!" said one of the guards. "You're creeping me out with that head bobbing!"

"Hey, you've got your hobbies, and I've got mine!"

"And that is?" asked the other guard.

"Why, annoying the heck out of people of course!"

The first guard gave him an annoyed look.

"See, it's working!"

"Stop it! Or I'll take your mask off, then we'll see what your hiding!"

"OK, fine! I'll stop!..."

The guard turned back to the game.

"...But can I at least move my eyes around the room?"

"Why is it so important?" asked the second guard.

"If I tell you, will you promise not to tell any one?"

He nodded annoyingly.

Wes looked side to side, despite the fact they were alone in the room. "I'm planning my escape."

The guards looked to themselves, then laughed, hitting the table in amusement.

"Are you serious?" asked the first guard. "You're tied to a chair! And we are keeping an eye on you! You have no weapons, and you're all out of those magic beans of yours!"

"OK, first of all, they aren't "magic beans", alright, those are used to make giant bean stocks, duh! Secondly, I don't need weapons or free hands to escape from you two bozos!"

"Then please, tell us how this escape plan of yours is going to work!"

Wes shrugged his shoulder. "Eh, why not, might as well tell you as you're going to be injured by it anyway..."

The guards chuckled at the notion, continuing with their card game as Wes continued.

"Well, by studying your behavior..." he spoke to the first guard, "...I can see that you're over-confident, have a short temper, and you tend to react based on instinct rather than reason. You..." he spoke to the second guard, "...are too heavy to move around quickly, you tend to underestimate threats, and your reaction time is slow at best."

The guards looked to each other. "How do you...?"

"I can tell a lot about a person by how they play cards. Believe me, I'm the only one who can read Lars' face and beat him at poker, no that's a skill!... Now, using props in the room, I can complete my plan. This is where that description above plays out..."

"Description ab... what?"

"...This floor board beneath me is a little bit loose. If I jump up in the chair a little, I'll break it loose, causing the opposite end to move up in a see-saw effect, tipping the dresser right next to you. Your two will jump out of the way while it crushes the table. Based on the loose nails on the side of it, I predict a piece of wood will fly off from the impact, hitting you..." looking at the first guard "...in the head, temporarily phasing you. Mr. needs to lose a few pounds over there will be hesitating, trying to comprehend how I could have predicted this, then realizing the next thing to happen is that I'll lean backwards, falling against the floor, thereby shaking another loose floorboard, leading up right underneath the shelf there, shaking it. The vases will fall over, but the important part will be the book ends. I'll flip around on the floor as they hit the ground. I'll then kick it into your face, knocking you out. Meanwhile, you..." looks at the first guard, "... will have recovered from the wood, then take out your sword and swing it at me, relying on brute force to solve your problem. Not remembering what I just told you, I'll flip around, where your sword will cut my bonds, then at least my hands will be free. I'll then push up from the floor, pushing you out of the way with the chair. After quickly hopping over to the axe, I'll then grab it, block a side swing from you, then an over head slice, then use the blunt end to hit you in the chest. While you're taking approximately 4 and a half seconds to recover, I'll cut my legs free, block another stab from you, then head but you. After that, I'll tie you two up, wait till you wake up, then mock you for your stupidity and take out the secret capsule I keep in a compartment in my hat, then poof away. Any questions?"

The guards trade looks. "Uh, that's a pretty iffy plan at best. You're insane if you think it's going to work!"

"Ah, but it will, and it's because there is one variable you overlooked.

"Oh yeah? What's that?"

"The guards are always useless and stink at their jobs... am I right?" he asked the reader...wait, what?!

"Time to put my plan into action!" Wes jumped on his chair, hitting the floor board. It did indeed break, the other end knocking over the dresser.

"What the...!" the first guard screamed, both of them jumping out of harms way. A piece of wood flew up, hitting him in the head. The second guard looked at Wes' plan unfolding before him.

"Oh my gosh, he was right!" he exclaims, grabbing his hair in panic. "Wait, what happens...?"

"Then I fall backwards..." Wes flipped himself backwards, the marble bookends falling off the shelf. "No I just kick this..." he kicked it into the second guard's face, knocking him out. "Now he comes too..." The first guard, fully awake but not remembering what Wes just told him, attacked with his sword.

"So predictable" Wes mumbled, flipping over, letting the guard cut his bonds. Wes kicked himself up, pushing him back while he got to his feet, then hopped over, chair and all, to the axe on the wall, picking it up. He turned around, blocking side swing, and overhead swing, then hit him in the chest.

"One Mississippi, two Mississippi..." Wes cut his legs free, "...three Mississippi, four Mississippi, four and a half..." he cuts himself free, blocking the guard's attack just in time. Wes then head butts him unconscious.

"Ha!" Wes said. "I can't believe that actually worked!"

After a few minutes, one of the guards woke up, finding himself tied up on the floor. Wes sitting in a chair, checking that he had recovered his weapons.

"Oaky doky, swords, knives, hat, capsule, yep that's everything!... ah, look who's awake!"

"You!"

"Yes, that's me! Told you it would work!"

"You won't get away with this!"

"Oh gee, like I haven't heard that overused line before! Well, better get on my way..."

"You're nothing but a heartless cutthroat, like your brother!"

"Actually, want to know a secret?" Wes leaned closer. "I've actually never cut a throat in my life."

"Does it matter? You align yourself with a sociopath of a brother!"

"Actually, he's more of a psychopath. See, sociopaths don't go in with a plan..."

"Doesn't matter!" he said, struggling with his bonds. "We'll hunt you down for everything you'll be guilty of!" Wes continued on packing his gear, taking out the capsule from his hat. "...Kidnapping, stealing, treason, holding an innocent girl for over a decade, letting a pregnant woman die...!"

Wes stopped, freezing just as he was about to crush his capsule. He turned to the guard, interrupting his rambling.

"What? What do you mean 'letting a pregnant woman die?"

"As if you don't know!"

"Uh, I was captured?"

"Princess Anna's heart was frozen you dolt! When the Queen tried to heal her, your 'friends' just dragged her away, leaving her to die!"

Wes stood there, unmoving. Something deep, deep down was rattled; a memory, an old, painful memory, one involving a great loss. There were many, many lines Wes was willing to cross, but there were some he would never cross, no matter how contradictory it was compared to the rest of his immoral actions. He had to do something, even if it meant dismantling his brothers plans.

Wes looked at guard, an odd expression on his face, for him anyway; he was serious.

"Is she still alive?"

"What?... yes, why...?"

"Where is she now? The princess?"

"What? Why should I tell you?"

Wes leaned down, gripping the man by the collar. "Because that is a line I'm not willing to cross! Maybe Lars would, but not me! If she's here, I can take her to Elsa now!"

The Guard gulped, not expecting this from the crazy guy. "She went with her husband to the castle, using your magic transport things. She's looking for her now. Why do you care?"

Wes let the guard drop. "Than there's no time to lose...Well, I'm probably going to get myself killed saving people I hardly know, so I just wanted you to know it was a privilege making a fool out of you two" He grabbed his capsule and crushed it "...Berglian castle!"

Poof.

Short chapter, but the next one's already almost done. I'm surprisingly finding time between studying to write this, as I need a mental break from memorizing Spanish grammar.

So, Wes finally did it; he broke the fourth wall. Also, we find some shred of seriousness in the guy, buried by more craziness. which I might reveal at a later date.

-Batman