Disclaimer: I do not own Friday Night Lights, or any of its characters or plots. I just own my storyline and my OCs.
The evening before heading for Austin, María went to the Taylors' to say goodbye. She would never forget how they had opened their home to her while her father was in critical condition those first two weeks in hospital, and how understanding Tami had been when she had turned to her looking for advice. Eric had also been really supportive with her college choice, even helping her make Mac and Sue understand it. She considered them almost like family, and she could not leave for college without seeing them.
Coach Taylor opened the door when she rang the bell. Just in from work, he was wearing a red Lions shirt and cap, and María noticed how strange it was to see him clad in a different color. He had been the Head Coach of the Panthers when she had met him, nearly three years ago, and he had always been in blue, just like her father. "Just another sign of change," she thought to herself, and she wondered how he was dealing with the whole redistricting situation and his new job. Starting a football team from scratch could not be easy when you had led your former team to win State just two years before and you had just made it to the final game again. It then hit María that adults also had to face changes in their lives, often unwanted changes; that it was not only a matter of teenagers and young people, and she felt both relieved and worried at the realization.
"Hi María, come on in," Eric said gesturing her to enter the hall and closing the door behind her.
"Hi Coach, thank you," she said stepping into the house.
"How you doing? Everything packed?" he asked while he led her to the living room, where Tami and Julie were watching tv and Gracie Bell was playing on the floor.
"Well, a bit nervous, I guess. Yeah, everything's ready…" she answered smiling as Tami stood up to greet her.
"Hi María. Thank you so much for coming by. We know you're busy getting everything ready. Would you like something to drink? Coke, soda, water… Here, take a seat."
"Water'd be great Tami, thank you", she replied turning to gently touch Gracie's arm, "Hey there Gracie, how are you?" she whispered and sat down on the couch beside Julie, who put her arm on María's shoulders. "Just a few hours left, how does that feel, uh?"
María chuckled surprised by Julie's unsual display of affection. "Weird, like everything lately." Matt had decided not to go to Chicago at the last minute to take care of his grandmother and Julie was over the moon. That joy transpired in everything she did or said, and María thought that she would love to be in her shoes, in a steady relationship with a loving boyfriend like Matt, instead of wasting her energy in trying to forget the way she felt about Billy.
"So I hear that you're going to Austin with Cole…" Eric trailed off from his chair, bringing María back to reality, while Tami handed her a bottle of water. "No, Coach Taylor too?" Despite not working with Coach Taylor anymore, María's father and he were still close and Mac had told him how Bradley Cole had been a constant presence in her life since graduation, and how they would be driving together to Austin.
"Yes, Coach, we'll be living in the same dorms and it seemed like a good idea to drive over there a few days earlier and get settled in at the same time," she said wondering why she felt the need to explain the nature of their relationship to everybody. At least her parents had not asked her, but after Eric's words she could guess that they were at least curious.
Fortunatelly for her, Tami came to her rescue. "And Tyra? She's not going with y'all?"
María shook her head. "No, we offered but she said she'll go the day before classes start. She'll be staying off campus, and I think she didn't have the chance to have her study earlier."
"So you're stuck with Cole then…" Eric stated while he shifted in his chair, determined not to change the topic. He thought very highly of María and he could totally understand the pull she had on most of his former players. But he had been eighteen once, and he knew what most teenage boys thought about girls, and this here was Mac's daughter. He wanted to know how she really felt about Bradley being around in college.
María chuckled. She could sense a fatherly concern over his words, and a feeling of deep gratitude washed over her. No doubt most of his players worshiped him. The East Dillon Lions were very lucky to have him as their Coach."You say it like we're glued by the hip or something without wanting to be… We're friends, Coach, good friends, but nothing more. There's nothing to be worried about."
Eric touched his hair and nodded. "All right. Sorry kiddo, just watching out for you. He's a good boy, María, I trust him, but don't you forget that he's a teenager. You know what I mean?" he said looking at her intently while Tami and Julie amusedly listened to them.
She nodded. "Yes. Thank you Coach, I trust him too. Otherwise I wouldn't be riding to Austin with him."
They talked for a while and even played a round of ping-pong until María said it was getting late and her parents were expecting her for dinner. When Tami walked her to the door, she took her arm and quietly spoke to her. "Well, if you need someone to talk about anything, you know I'm here for you, don't you? I'll be just a phone call and and email away, María," she said hugging her.
"I know, Tami, thanks so much. You know that I may take you up on that offer. But so far I'm good, really. Just nervous about college, I guess. Thank you for everything. I don't know what I would've done without you," she said managing to hug Tami back as she felt a lump in her throat.
"Anytime, María. Enjoy college. And remember: you'll go places," Tami encouranged María letting her go reluctantly. She felt her eyes water as she waved María goodbye, and she asked herself if she would have been able to avoid tears if it was Julie the one actually leaving for college. That was just around the corner, in a year. "I better start working on that, and I better start telling Eric to work on that, too. At least we'll have sixteen more years to get ready for Gracie…"
While María was driving home, Tami's words were echoing in her mind. "I'll be just a phone call and and email away", and she could not help but think that she would be just on her own from then on. Of course her parents, the Taylors and her friends would be just a phone call away, but she would be living in a new environment hundreds of miles away from them and she would have to learn to make her way through life with them in the distance.
Finally the deadred day came. Early in the morning Bradley parked his SUV in her driveway ready to load her suitcases, golf bags and all her boxes. As María had told the Taylors the day before, since they would be living in the same building in campus, they had agreed that it would be a good idea to drive there together and get settled at the same time. They had not admitted it to each other yet, but they were both a little bit anxious about the first days at college and the possibility of facing it together seemed to help to keep their nerves at check.
Mac and Sue had not mentioned anything to María, but they had been deeply disappointed when she had told them that Bradley would be driving her to Austin, as they had expected to take her there themselves, as a family thing. They had been focused on Mac's health for months, but now that he had recoved they were worried about María again. The fact that she had spent most of her summer with Bradley and that the both of them would be going to college together had taken them by surprise, as Bradley seemed to have appeared in María's life out of nowhere. Of course they had been classmates growing up, but as far as her parents knew they had never been close.
Mac had tried to reassure Sue by telling her that Bradley had been in his team for four years and he knew he was a good guy. "María wouldn't be spending so much time with him if he wasn't, Sue. I think our daughter's grown up now and she can choose her friends wisely. I know it's hard but we did our job raising her and now it's time to let her fly solo. Just think that in a few weeks she'll have new friends we won't know anything about. We do know Cole, and at least it's a relief for me to know that he'll be there with her. Which reminds me, don't you think it may be a good idea if you have that talk with her again? Before she leaves? Just in case…" Sue laughed at his words. "No, Mac, as you say, she's a grown up girl now. And I trust her about that, too. I don't think she needs to hear that talk again."
Once the SUV was loaded there was no further excuse to get on the road. Maria had pictured this very moment in her mind thousands of times in the last few days. She had done it in an attempt to be prepared in advance for the emotions that undoubtedly would arise then, and she had thought that she would have them under control. But she had been wrong, totally wrong. The moment Bradley said "I think we have everything, maybe we should get going," and she turned to look at Mac and Sue, standing by his car, Mac's arm over Sue's shoulders, both smiling at her, she found it difficult not to cry. All her life passed through her mind then and all kind of memories with her parents came back to life in a split second. She could sense she was not the only one as her parents had both bright eyes. At that point she knew she would not be able to leave without tears and she decided to speed up the whole process.
"You're right, Bradley, we should get going, otherwise we're gonna hit heavy traffic," she managed to say while she hugged both her parents, both too moved to say anything. "I promise I'll call as soon as we arrive in campus. Bye!" And with that she hopped in Bradley's SUV, buckled herself in, and waved as he put the car in reverse and exited her driveway driving onto the street. He had managed to grab Maria's left hand for support while maneuvering the car as soon as she had fastened her seatbelt, and she was keeping a tight hold of it while she was still waving to her parents.
Once they left her street, he pulled over to the curb and let her hand go, looking at her.
"You okay?" Concern was evident in his blue eyes.
"Yes, I am. Sorry, I know I should be used to this by now, it's not the first time I leave home for school, and I thought I was prepared for that, but clearly I wasn't..." she whispered.
"If it's any consolation, I also had a terrible time leaving home. I had not cried in front of my folks since I was ten or eleven... It's hard, isn't it?" he asked trying to comfort her.
"Sure it is. But let's just think that Thanksgiving's just around the corner, and hopefully we'll be here again. Come on, let's go, I'm fine," she said trying to smile. She had just begun to move onto the rest of her life by leaving home, and she was already nostalgic for the safety net that home had always been.
Her heart nearly stopped when she heard Bradley's next words. "Okay, just a last quick stop. Ten minutes top, Riggins' Rigs..."
She looked at him in disbelief while he was driving through the streets of Dillon. "Riggings' Rigs... Are we stopping there?" she softly asked.
He kept his gaze on the road so he missed her scared face. Had he seen it, probably he would have pulled to the curb again.
"Yeah, ten minutes tops. Riggs said the new set of wipers would arrive early in the morning. I just noticed a few days ago these ones seem to be quite old and I don't trust them for the next months..." he trailed off, completely oblivious to the strong and conflicting emotions she was currently feeling.
She nodded. So there was no chance that she could at least stay in the car and avoid Billy. He had to change the wipers. Great. She had succeeded to avoid him for the last three months only to be the last person from Dillon she would be seeing just before heading for Austin.
"Okay..." she managed to mumble trying to sound as normal as possible.
When they arrived at the shop a few cars and trucks could be seen inside and Bradley parked by the main entrance. Apparently business was growing. They exited his SUV and started walking towards the small office Billy had recently built in one of the corners of the garage.
It was a small but tidy room with glass walls overlooking the shop and María inmediately saw him sitting behind the desk typing on a silver laptop. He had not noticed them yet and she took her time to stare at him. She knew she would not have that chance again any time soon. She was glad to see that he looked much better than the last times she had seen him at the range and on graduation day. He had put on some weight and the dark spots under his eyes and his tired face could no longer be found. He looked good, really good. "He must be really happy with Mindy. He looks better than ever," she thought while he looked up from the screen and noticed them coming his way.
He froze and gulped when he saw María. He thought that she would be gone to college by then and she was the last person he had expected to see in the shop. In fact, he had been more relaxed the last few days thinking that she was already gone, as he had been worried to run into her during the last months. After all, Dillon was a small town and it was quite easy to run into somebody at the usual shopping and hanging out spots. He had even thought about starting dating again, but the moment he saw her walking towards his office he knew he was not over her at all. He closed his laptop while scratching the back of his neck, and exited the office, meeting them half way.
"Good morning, Riggs," Bradley said shaking his hand.
"Morning Bradley. I've those wipers ready for you. Just five minutes, let me get them," he said trying to focus on Bradley instead of María. He had not seen her for months and he was finding it difficult to keep his eyes off her since the moment he had noticed her in the garage.
"Hi Billy, how are you?" she softly said before he headed for the back, shyly stepping in for a hug.
"Hi M, good and you? I thought you were gone to college..." he muttered embracing her briefly. Being rude to her was the last he wanted, but it was hard for him to be so close to her.
He was not the only one. "We're heading there right now. Bradley said he had to stop for some... wipers..." she stammered. "What am I doing? Excusatio non petita, acusatio manifesta... Why am I explaining why we are here?" she thought. Luckily for her Billy ran into the back just to come back in a few seconds holding the set of wipers.
As they all started walking over Bradley's SUV Billy could not help himself from asking. "So you'll both be at UT Austin? Must be great to have someone to share all that."
"It is. Going with friends makes things much easier," Bradley happily answered. There was something strange in the way Billy had been looking at María since they had arrived in the shop, and she was clearly avoiding his gaze. "What's going on with these two?"
Billy managed to quickly change the wipers while still looking at Maria, as she suddenly became very interested in her tennis shoes. She just raised her head when she heard Billy speak again. "Well, all set. Will last at least a good six months," he said when he had finished.
"Great, Riggs. How much do I owe you?" Bradley asked.
"Nothing, man. This was included in your last service." Once more Billy could not keep his eyes off María, and he was finding it hard to focus on Bradley, who, by then, had already figured out the way Billy was looking at her.
"Thank you so much. We better get going, we have a long drive ahead of us," he said shaking Billy's hand again.
"Anytime Bradley. Drive safe and take good care of her," Billy said turning to María. "Bye, M. Go get them, okay?" he said hugging her. She held him tight for a second and stepped back, resisting the temptation of resting her head on his chest as she noticed the smell of his aftershave.
She just wanted to get in Bradley's SUV as soon as possible, but once she was there she had to say goodbye properly, and that of course included thanking him. "Thanks Billy. I wouldn't be going to UT if it wasn't for you."
He shook his head smiling at her. "Nah, you're there thanks to your hard work. Never forget that, M." She was one of the most talented people that he had come across during his life, but she was also hard-working, and he was sure that that combination would lead her to the top. He just wished he could be by her side along the way, as his friend, like he had been until last year. Of course he would like to be by her side in another capacity, but he found that impossible as he was certain she would never reciprocate his feelings.
"No, all those years with you at the range and the course... I would've never made it to GMI without your help. So thank you." Very much like his brother Tim, Billy was very generous, but María knew for a fact that he had played a leading role in her golf, and in her whole life. As she had told him once before, beside her parents he had been the most important person in her life.
"Keep in touch, will you?" he softly asked while she was grabbing the door handle, Bradley already inside the car starting the engine. Billy was well aware that he should keep his distance if he wanted to be over her, but the truth was that he did want to be in touch with her. "A few emails from afar won't do any harm," he tried to convince himself while he eagerly waited for her response.
His request took her by surprise, but she suddenly felt tired of putting up a wall between them. She had just left her home to go to college, she felt vulnerable, to say the least, and this unexpected encounter with Billy had greatly confused her after months of strong resolution. Why could they not be friends once she was in Austin? Why did she have to give that up, too? She would be immersed in a new life and sure a few postcards would not hurt her. Plus how could she say "no, I won't keep in touch" to him without being rude? "Haven't we been friends since I can remember? Why should I let my feelings get in the way once I'm college? Why can't we be in touch like we were when I was in Florida?" For once, the voice in her head that used to say "because you're in love with him and you need to move on" was silent, probably due to the fact that she could not think clearly with him holding the car door open for her.
"I'd really like that, Billy. Bye," she nodded smiling before quickly getting into the SUV while Billy briefly leant on one of the cars parked by the main entrance, before heading to his small office to answer the ringing phone.
This time it was María who gently reached for Bradley's hand while he was driving onto the road. He took a quick look at her in awe and saw tears running down her cheeks. Again, he pulled over, but on this occasion he did not ask if she was okay. It was obvious she was not. He just held her hand while soft country music was playing in the radio, waiting for her to calm down.
"It's him, isn't it?" he dared to ask softly after a few minutes of silence, still holding her hand.
"What?" the question caught her off guard.
"Billy Riggins, it's him. The guy on you mind?" he asked again letting her hand go.
"Bradley, please..." she said wiping off her tears. The last thing she needed right then was talking about him.
"Come on, María. You've just left your home for college and you've managed to do it with no tears. But you've seen Riggs for like, five minutes, and you reach for my hand. Not that I am complaining…, but you can't stop crying. Plus I've seen the way you look at him when you're not avoiding his eyes..." he said shifting and unbuckling his seatbelt so he could face her.
She sighed trying to control her tears. There was no point in denying it. Bradley had witnessed how upset she was after seeing Billy and she could not think of any good excuse for that. She had done her best to try and control herself but this time she had not been able to manage her conflicting emotions. Besides that, during the summer Bradley had become one of her best friends. They would be practically living together from then on, at least in the same dorms, so she could very well tell him the truth.
"Yeah, you're right. As much as I don't like to acknowledge it, it's him," she managed to say looking at Bradley. She felt a lump in her throat and tears were still falling down her cheeks. It was hard to admit it after her efforts to forget Billy.
"Okay." He could see that she was really upset, and he thought that distracting her might do the trick. But he chose the wrong topic. "I thought it was Jack…" he slowly said locking eyes with her.
"Jack?" she asked confused. "What does Jack have to do with all this?"
He nodded. "Yeah, Jack Byrne. You dated for a while, didn't you?" The fact that he turned his gaze to the windshield as he voiced his question was not lost on María. She was not the only one uncomfortable talking about this, and somehow she felt better.
"We did… for sixteen months..." she muttered looking down.
"When you mentioned the lake I remembered seeing you both there …" he added turning to look at her again. It was true. He had frequently run into them at the lake during the two summers María and Jack had been together, and that image rushed back to his mind when María finally told him the real reason she would prefer to go somewhere else.
"Yeah, we used to go there…" she whispered remembering that it was one of their favorite places. For the first time since things became tense between them, she was reminded of the good times they had shared together as happy memories with Jack vividly came to her mind. First, like friends, growing up, both part of "The great five", as they called themselves. Then when she came home for the summer when they both were sixteen and they started dating right away. They spent a lot of time together, mainly at the range and the lake, and after that during the school year they faced distance the best they could until she came back home for her senior year. "Oh, we were so excited about everything, we had so many plans…" At that time she had really thought she was in love with him. "How did we end up so badly?" They were not friends anymore, and that thought always made her sad.
Tears kept falling down her cheeks and Bradley realized his change of topic was not working. He tried to play it down.
"I'm sorry María. I didn't want to upset you more by bringing him up… You'll be glad to know that I nearly punched the guy…" he softly said.
"What?"
"I run into Jack at the theatre in Larabee two weeks ago, when I took my sister and my cousins to the movies. And I couldn't help it… You know, always the perfect guy, straight A student, QB1, surrounded by girls, and I also thought you…. Anyway, I wanted to punch the guy… Good thing I didn't..."
María truly smiled for the first time since they had left her driveway. "Well, you never know, maybe he deserved it…" she softly said.
"Yeah, maybe… we'd better get going. We left your house a while ago and we're still in Dillon. I hope your parents don't see us here, we'd have to come up with a really good excuse…" he said buckling up his seatbelt again, once that she seemed calm.
"Yes, like a mechanical breakdown or something. And then we'd have to go back to Riggins' Rigs just to pretend in front of them so… , no, please drive…" she laughed.
When he was about to start the engine again, María reached for his right hand and stopped him. "Bradley, wait up… I… I promise I'll tell you everything about Billy..." she stammered.
"María, you don't have to do that..." he said softly placing his right hand on the steering wheel, avoiding her hand purposely. During the last hour they had held each other's hands for more that once, and that was something they had never done before. And all that touching was making him really nervous. He reminded himself of the imperative need to keep a physical distance if he wanted to be friends with her, like he had been doing for the last months.
María pretended not to notice his hand moving away. She remembered how things had started with Tim, a touch here, a hug there, and she did not want to go down that road again, at least not while she had feelings for someone else. So Bradley was right to keep a distance. She will have to bear that in mind, too. "I know, but I really want to. As soon as we stop to have lunch... Otherwise we are never leaving Dillon..." she trailed off.
He chuckled. "Okay then, but just because you want to..." With that, Bradley started the car and they finally took off for Austin. The ride was quiet, listening to music on the radio and both of them making small talk. After two hours, Bradley started to feel tired. "Would you like to stop now? Think my neck is getting stiff..." he said moving his head from right to left.
"Sure, but I can drive if you want. That's if you trust me with your car..." María shyly said.
"I thought you'd know by now that I'd trust you with anything, even my car... " "Why did I just say that? It sounded flirtatious… all this touching is affecting me…"… "but I'm hungry..."
"Yeah, me too. The next diner it is..."
The next diner happened to be the nicest one they had ever seen on a highway. They found it by chance, but it was somehow cozy. They sat down in one of the booths, looking at the menus. They ordered, and by the time María was clearing her throat to start talking about Billy their food arrived. Bradley noticed her expression. "I'd think we should eat first, María. We have plenty of time to talk, if that's what you want to do..."
"You're right..." she said.
When they had finished eating, glass of Coke in her hand and with no further ado, María began telling him about Billy. "We were really close growing up. Walt Riggins was my first golf teacher and his sons were usually at the range. Timmy and I were always playing around with Miles, Alan and Jack and soon enough Billy became my big brother too. He was the one who would keep an eye on us the times no adults were around. He often golfed with my granddad and I would spend most summer afternoons at their pool. He even taught me how to swim and how to ride a bike, and when he started High School he made the football team and my father became his Coach. But he was a great golfer and he still spent a lot if time at the range and the course, and he was the only one willing to be with me when all my friends were already tired and wanted to do something else. Timmy and Miles were my best friends, but Billy was like the big brother I never had... and he was a good big brother, always ready to teach me new things and to spend time with me although I was just a little girl..."
"You two go way back then..." Bradley dared to whisper.
"Yes, both Billy and Tim are like family to me. But unlike Timmy, Billy never disappointed me. He stayed in touch all the time while I was in Florida. I mean, I know Jason's accident was a shock to everyone, even for me, but he just disappeared... I guess that with Lyla and everything he just... He stopped writing and calling, and everytime I called him he was drunk, no matter what time it was..."
He did not know why, but Bradley felt the need to defend Tim. Maybe it was because he had not behaved like a friend in those days. "María, he was really a mess back then, and the ones around him didn't know how to help him. And that includes me... Did you know that in revenge for what he did to Jason some guys from the team shattered his truck windows, with baseball bats, in his driveway, while he was inside? I was among them…"
María's eyes opened wide. "What? He never told me... I can't believe you did that, Bradley..." That did not sound like him at all.
He nodded. "I did, and I am not proud at all, but it was a hard time for all of us and we were playing it by ear... I'm glad you weren't home then to see all that..."
"Yeah, I know it was a hard year..."
"So Billy kept in touch?" Bradley asked. He was not comfortable remembering that particular time and was really curious about Billy and María.
"He did, I'd usually get a postcard from him now and then over those years, we'd speak over the phone regularly and he called on my birthday every year, and I'd turn to him everytime I needed advice and comfort. Once I had a sprained ankle and missed the State finals I had been training so hard for, and of course he was the first one I called. Don't get me wrong, I am really grateful I had the chance to be there for three years, but sometimes it was hard being away from home, you know. That's why I wanted to come back home for my senior year, against everybody's advice. My teachers and coaches in Florida could not understand it, but I finally convinced my parents and did it. And I'm so glad I did..." María trailed off.
"And I guess something happened with Billy then..." Bradley was starting to get the whole picture.
She hesitated about telling him about Jack, in particular the reasons that had led her to break up with him. But she looked at Bradley and chose to be honest with him. There was not point in hiding anything from him now that they would be practically living together. And she should not feel embarrassed about it. "Jack and I had been dating for over a year by then and all of a sudden he had a lot of reasons to start having sex once we were living in the same county. I had always told him that I wasn't ready, and I still wasn't ready, but he did something that actually scared me… And all those rumors about Molly Farlane… I don't know, all this situation with Jack somehow made me find out what I really felt for Billy. I suddenly realized that even when I was happy with Jack, those feelings had always been there, covered up by friendship, common interests, age difference, and, while I was in Florida, also physical distance…"
Her voice was getting lower as she started telling Bradley about her senior year. She did not leave out anything: Timmy being back in her life again, her hard break up with Jack, her parents' constant worries, her wrist injury, the craziness about being with Tim for a short period of time to try and forget Billy, her father's stroke, kissing Billy that day and he kissing her back, and how they had both apologised for those kisses weeks later.
"And I've been avoiding him for the last three months. Not seeing him or talking about him was really working, and for the first time in months my first thought waking up every day wasn't about him. That's why I couldn't believe it when you said that our last stop would be at his car shop... I know I have to get over him. He's way out of my league and would never feel that way about me, and, above all that, he's engaged. Everytime I see him it gets worse… Please don't tell anyone, Bradley, you're the only one that knows about the day of the stroke, not even Tim…"
At that point Bradley smiled. "You know I won't, María. And I think I have good news for you..."
What?" she asked just before taking a sip from her Coke. "I can't believe I just told him all that and he's smiling and saying he has good news..."
He nodded. "I have. First of all, he's not engaged anymore, María," he said looking at her intently.
She nearly chocked with her Coke. "Come again," she managed to say coughing, thinking that she had misheard.
He chuckled. "You heard right. He's not engaged anymore, at least not to Mindy Collette..."
María shook her head in surprise. "But... when... how... how do you know that?" she stammered. "Please, if you're not sure, just don't…"
He interrupted her. "I'm sure. I wouldn't tell you otherwise. Don't know when, but I think it's been going on for a while. Angela Collette herself told my mom, they had just found out because Mindy wouldn't tell them..."
"She must be devastated" she thought. She then recalled her graduation, they were seated separatedly. "They must've been broken up by then..." She wondered then if he was still engaged the afternoon he had made her go to the freshmen weekend, as he did offer to drive her to Austin. But why hadn't Timmy told her? And then it hit her. "On graduation day. He was trying to tell me something, but Lyla showed up. From then on we never mentioned Billy again. And the day he came by before heading for San Antonio he was too worried about college..."
"Oh... it must have been hard," she said snapping back to reality, finding a worried Bradley in front of her. "Sorry, I was just thinking..."
"Don't worry, I know... but I think I've more good news for you..." he added. "Listen, María, you know that I'd never hurt you, right?" he stated grabbing her hand.
"I do..." She whispered looking at their joint hands and wondering where he was getting at.
"And the last thing I'd like to do is give rise to any false hopes..."
"Meaning..." She was more confused with every word he was saying.
"He doesn't look at you as his little sister, María," he finally dared to say locking eyes with her.
"What do you mean?" María was still coming to terms with the fact that apparently Billy was no longer engaged, and she was having trouble following Bradley.
He cleared his throat thinking how honest he should be to her, finally deciding to be completely honest. "Full disclosure," he thought. "He looks at you the way Tim looks at Lyla, the way Matt looks at Julie, the way I look at you..."
María chuckled. She could not believe what he was telling her. Deliberately ignoring his last line, she squeezed his hand and focused again on Billy. "Bradley, he's more than seven years my senior, he's had his fair share of women, you know he's always been very successful in that department... I'm not his type at all..."
"Then, have you ever wondered why he kissed you back that day?" he asked interrupting her, letting her hand go and resting his body on the back of the booth.
She sighed. "Bradley, he apologised for that..."
"Yeah, but why did he do it in the first place? Ever think of that?"
It was a very good question. She had been so embarrassed and had felt so guilty about the whole kiss situation that she had never stopped to think about his reasons for doing it. Astonished, she found out that she had no reply.
"Well?" he enquired again.
"I... I don't know, Bradley. He... he never mentioned it, he just apologised, and I was too embarrased to ask..." she said trying to recall his exact words that afternoon at the range. But all she could remember about that moment was the deep sorrow she had felt when he apologised. How it had hurt her.
Bradley smiled once more. He had no doubts about the way Billy had looked at her at the shop earlier, as much as he would like to be the only one to look at María like that, and he wished above all that she would look back at him the same way. But he knew he did not stand a chance. She and Billy had history together, and he could not fight that. "Well, just think about it. I bet he'll be in touch soon..."
"I don't know, Bradley... if he does, it'll be just because we've always been friends…" María mumbled trying to take in everything that he had mentioned. It was a lot to process, while starting college no less.
"Wait and see. Of course he'll play the friend card as a start… Anyway, you have plenty of time to think till Thansgiving, if you want to pursue it..." He knew María needed time to let the news sink in.
"I don't know," she repeated, "it is too complicated, and I'm sure he'll be dating someone by then..." After all her hard efforts to forget him, the last thing she needed was to go back to square one.
He chuckled. "I think that depends on you now, how you want to handle all this..."
"Well, if he writes, I'll keep you posted..." she said still thinking about the fact that Billy was no longer engaged and wondering if Bradley was right about the way Billy looked at her."Well, he doesn't have any reason to say so unless he actually sees it."
"Come on, time to go. We have to get there before the rush hour. Do you wanna drive?" he asked standing up and handing her his keys. He could see he had given her food for thought and maybe she could use the distraction.
"Really? Sure! I'd better text my mom to let her know that we stopped halfway for lunch. I don't want them to worry..." She quickly wrote a text while heading for the door, waving goodbye to the waitress.
"Yeah, please do, I don't want Coach McGill sending the police searching for his daughter..." he said holding the door opened for her and placing his hand on her lower back while she stepped out in the hot Texan sun.
After a long drive, they found an almost empty campus as most of the students would not be arriving until the following week. Maria and Bradley took a quick look around and started unloading his helped each other to settle in. Both their roommates had not arrived yet. María was happy to know that her roomie would be Annie Aguirre, whom she had met during the freshmen weekend. She was a sweet girl from Boise, Idaho, who had travelled then with her boyfriend Hank. María found both of them to be very nice people and they had even visited some of the sights in Austin together. She was sure Annie and she would get on very well.
She was about to get ready for bed on her first night at college when she checked her phone and noticed that she had a new message. "Who could it be this late today?"
She flipped it open to find that it was a text from Billy. "Hey, M. Hope u r already in Austin and everything's good. Great seeing u today. My email: rigginsrigs , please write. Promise I'll write back. Go get them! Take care."
Billy had been thinking about María all day since they had left his garage for Austin. He had never been the one to believe in fate, but he was sure some strong power had made her stop at his shop just before going to college, after succeeding in avoiding her for the last months. "It has to mean something," he kept saying to himself. Finally, that night, while he was watching television alone at his house, tired from a hard day at work, he decided he had to let her know he was happy to have seen her. "That's something I'd do for sure if I had no feelings for her, she won't find it strange," he thought, and he sent the text.
On the other end of the phone, María read it several times and dialed Bradley's number straight away.
"Are you all right, María?" he worriedly asked. The dorms were still mostly empty and her call had scared him.
"Yes, I am. Sorry to bother you this late, but he texted..." María replied trying to keep her voice steady.
"What?" He had just fallen sleep some minutes ago and was still trying to focus on what she was saying.
"Billy texted, Bradley. Maybe… maybe you were right, I still don't know… What do I do now?" she anxiously asked.
He could feel she was nervous, and he was happy that she was trusting him with this. As for the last months, and despite his feelings for her, he was more than happy to be just her friend if that was all she wanted from him. But as María had started driving his SUV once they left the diner, he had been worried that maybe he had been too forward letting her know how he felt about her and that could endanger their friendship, but the way she had behaved since then was making him think otherwise. And her call had just proved him that she still trusted him.
"That depends, María. What do you really want?" That question lingered in her mind. "Don't know, Bradley. I sure wasn't expecting this… I guess keeping his friendship is my highest priority, but I don't know if I'd be able to be close to him just as a friend again. A lot has changed in the last year…"
And her whole life was changing by the minute. María's first week at college went much faster than expected. Her roommate Annie arrived the following day and they reconnected at once. María brought her up to speed about the little tricks she and Bradley had found out about the dorms the prior day, and Annie shared with her that she had just broken up with her boyfriend Hank. Apparently he had been sleeping with her best friend for months ("Oh, God, is that a classic?" María thought to herself) and she had only found out before coming from Austin. María did her best to cheer her up and luckily for Annie golf practice started soon.
The first days at the range were easy for María. Her swing was praised by all the Coaches and she suddenly found herself training with the juniors and the seniors. So by the time classes started, she had earned herself a spot in the first team when that had never been in her head for that first year.
Along with the classes, Tyra arrived in Austin. She was staying off campus, but shared one class with María and Bradley. They would usually have coffee together after that class, and one day that Bradley had to go to the dorms to help his roomie, who had just arrived, Tyra asked the question María knew she would ask as soon as she had the chance ("What's the deal with you and Bradley? You two together?"), and María answered her well rehearsed reply ("No, Tyra, we're just friends").
She was not in the mood for one of Tyra's interrogations right now. She had been thinking about Billy since the moment she got his text, and that had been a few days before. In fact she had texted him back that very night, "Thank u for ur text Billy. Great seeing u too. I promise I'll write. Take care," thinking that it would be the text she would send him if she had no romantic feelings for him.
Bradley's question that night had made it clear to her that her main goal regarding Billy was to keep him as a friend. As she had told Tami months ago, she was not ready to lose him, and she was certain that he did not harbor that kind of feelings for her, despite what Bradley thought. "But he did say he would write and he did text that night… maybe he's not wrong..."
Yet she had promised Billy to write and she had not done it so far, so she muttered a quick goodbye to an astonished Tyra, who was gathering her things to go to the cafetería, as usual, and literally run to her dorm.
Once she turned on her laptop, she opened her email and started writing. Little did she know then that by writing and sending that first email she was laying the foundations of a new epistolary relationship with Billy that would bring them close again as the good friends they had always been until their feelings got in the way during her senior year in Dillon. The email proved to be the proper tool to provide both of them an opportunity to share their daily joys and concerns while allowing them to keep the distance they very much needed to do so. Despite the physical distance between them, after a few weeks emailing each other they felt in sync once more.