Marjorie's hair was soft against my fingertips as we held each other in the swan bed. Our lips moved together in silence as her hands gripped my chest. The only sound was the whisper of the silk sheets beneath us. It was pure bliss. I could feel all of my fear being washed away with every kiss. I was beginning to feel real, whole.

My lips slowly moved down her neck as her body clung to mine. My heart felt like it was going to burst. Her head fell back and I tangled my hands in her chocolate curls. My lips continued to move on her creamy neck before ice shot down my spine. Brown curls? I pulled away to look at the girl In front of me. Christine smiled back at me with a devilish grin.

My blood was like ice as her voice rang out. I felt as if I'd stuck my head in a bell at Notre Dame. "You cant hide it. I'll be sure that she knows."

Marjorie appeared once again in my arms, but her eyes were wide in horror. She held my mask in her hand and her eyes were fixed on my face. I reached towards her, either to comfort or to take back my mask, but she cried out in terror. Her screams completely broke me. She shoved me away, and backed up like a terrified animal. I was a monster. I had ruined my Marjorie.

I woke up to the rancid smell of vomit permeating my nose. My head was throbbing and I was freezing. I sat up tenderly before surveying the damage. I was still laying on the edge of the lake. I smelled and looked like the grave, my mask laid is a small puddle of vomit that didn't make it into the lake, and my whole entire body was stiff. Pulling a handkerchief from my pocket, I wiped the mask clean and place it back on my face. The smell was horrible, but bearable enough.

Carefully, I stood up, the whole room spun around me. I felt miserable. Slowly, I began my trudge towards the main room. Marjorie sat at the organ, reading one of the massive piles of sheet music. She didn't notice me and I was glad. I didn't think I could bear looking at her without spilling the truth. Her screams kept replaying in my mind as I slipped down the hallway.

I knocked softly on Nadir's door before letting myself in. I must have looked as terrible as I felt because his eyes widened in surprise when he saw me. It was embarrassing, but I didn't care anymore. "Do you mind assisting Marjorie home? I'm not feeling very up to it."

After he agreed I walked off towards my washroom. I ran the bath and sat in front of my mirror. I looked more gruesome than usual. I took off my mask and washed it gently before placing it next to the others. I then took off my wig and sat it on its form. I gazed at myself miserably. I removed my clothes and left them in a pile. I didn't even care anymore.

When Nadir returned I was still in the bath although the water was nearly ice cold. He walked right in, a deep frown settled on his face. I paid no mind and kept my eyes closed. "What was all of that about?"

"I do not wish to talk about it, Nadir." I felt myself sinking lower into the water. I wished I had the power to drown myself. I didn't want to function. I felt myself itching for morphine again, but I didn't even want to move.

He sat at the mirror and watched me as I sank lower. "Marjorie was upset she couldn't say goodbye. I told her you had gotten sick. What's wrong?"

"I said I do not wish to talk about it."

"She was worried about you. She said she might stop by later if she has the time."

"I don't want her to see me."

"Be mature, Erik. What is the problem? She cares for you. You know that. It's obvious she loves you."

"Do not speak that word in my home."

"Erik, y-"

I submerged myself completely. I didn't want to hear any more. I let the water wash around me as air bubbles floated out of my mouth. I stared up at the distorted ceiling. I opened my mouth and let the rest of the air escape my lungs. The bubbles surrounded me like stars. It was peaceful. I stayed underneath until my lungs were screaming for air. I wished to stay longer but my survival instinct pulled me from the water and left me sputtering for air.

Nadir watched me curiously as I wiped the water from my face. "I've made a terrible mistake, Nadir." He handed me a towel as I stood from the water. I replaced my mask and wig and walked towards the bedroom. Nadir waited outside as I changed.

"What is that?"

"She doesn't even know me. She thinks she does. She knows Erik. Not the Phantom."

"How is that a problem? You are Erik. You may also be the Phantom, but that's not you."

"She doesn't know the things I've done. I'm a murderer Nadir."

"But you had your reasons."

I supposed he wasn't wrong. Piangi was an accident. I actually quite liked the man although his wife, Carlotta, was wretched. There was that horrible oaf of a man, Buquet who would violate the ballerinas and defile my name. There was Lucianna, the girl who had chased after me in Rome. She was merely an accident. I wouldn't exactly say I murdered her, but she died in my wake. She chose to run which led to the fall that took her life. There was the man trapped under the fallen chandelier as well, another accident.

And lastly, the first kill, Javert, the horrid Gypsy man who imprisoned and attempted to molest me when I was barely and adolescent.

Maybe Nadir was right. These murders weren't premeditated except for, perhaps, Buquet and Javert. In fact, they were mostly accidents. But Nadir was wrong when he said it "wasn't me" who committed them. I supposed it was something he just couldn't understand. I am not just Erik. The Phantom isn't just a ploy on my part. I am the Phantom of the Opera.