A/N: My incredible beta, Bethaboo, deserves extra snuggles for getting this back to me super fast this week. She's amazing.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, and I don't own Legends of the Fall. I hope you all know that by now.

July 24th, 1915

There is something to be said for the electric magnetism between Carlisle and I. I have felt it since the moment we met months ago at my apartment with Emily. Since my affection and attraction grew deeper into love, it has only increased. I cannot help but wonder- if our physical relationship is this intense now, what will it feel like when we actually make love?

I have pressured Carlisle to go against how he was raised in terms of our physical relationship. Still, I believe that he has wanted to be intimate with me, and I know I have not forced his hand in any way. I would never forgive myself if he were to feel pressured by me.

All that being said—today has marked a sort of turning point for us, I believe. He has initiated every physical contact between the two of us. Not only was he the one to place his hands on me, but he also shocked me when he reached for my hand and guided it to his hard flesh. I'm not certain I have found any action to be as arousing as that simple gesture.

I love Carlisle more than my own life, and I have always known that I would do anything for him. I have told him how much I love and need him, but words are sometimes not potent enough. There is something about the tangible power in the way our bodies have begun to come together that transcends the voice.

I'll admit, this entry is making me feel slightly perverse, yet who else can I talk to about this outside of Carlisle? He is everything that I have ever desired in a friend, a husband, and a lover. I cannot wait until I can officially be called his wife and lover. I want to be his in every way imaginable.

x-x-x

Christmas 1918 at the Cullen ranch was a more joyous occasion than it had been in the years after Carlisle's loss. Still, Bella knew that she would not be awoken by Carlisle playfully jumping on her bed. There would be no private gift exchange, followed by a family gift exchange. No, this Christmas, she woke up in the same bed, alone, but for the first time in years, she was actually excited to join the rest of the family. Christmas might never be the same joyous occasion that it once had been, but at least it was festive once again.

Before either had seen the other that morning, Edward and Bella were worried about Charlie. He had been in high spirits once again last evening, and they were individually concerned that he may be expecting his own Christmas miracle this year. There was nothing either Edward or Bella could actually do to stifle the hope that Charlie felt, but they had each individually decided that keeping him focused on the family that was there would hopefully prevent any major disappointment.

Bella had been quite excited to be living in a city for the first time in years during the holiday season. For Charlie, she had purchased a set of crystal scotch glasses, and a matching decanter. It was simple in design, but sturdy. She had seen the chips in the set he had been using, and she thought he would appreciate the new glasses. For Emmett, she had acquired one of Ben's new saddles. She bought a new quilt for Sue that she thought was pretty. She bought Billy a new pair of shoes from Ben's tannery, as they sold traditional moccasins. For Alice, she purchased a number of books on some of the more exotic locations that Jasper had visited. She knew that Charlie had already been teaching her about the areas, but she wanted to provide more information in case Alice was still curious.

Edward was also excited to give his family the gifts he had purchased. For Alice, he gave a small bracelet. He gave Sue a vase that Jessica sold in her flower shop. He gave Emmett a new plow to till the fields with, knowing Charlie wouldn't buy a new one himself, but that their old plow wasn't as effective as it once had been. He had purchased a lovely knife for Billy. He was particularly proud of his purchase for his father, though. He had gone to the local stationer's, and commissioned monogrammed stationary, as well as a new pen with which to write his letters to Renee.

It was around ten Christmas morning when Edward came knocking on Bella's door. As per tradition, Sue had her cinnamon rolls warming in the oven, waiting for the family to come downstairs for breakfast. The scent of sweet cinnamon caused Edward's stomach to growl in hunger, and he rapped his knuckles across her door. He heard her call out for him to enter, and opened the door.

The sight he was met with made the breath in his throat catch, and the sentence he was about to say leave his mind completely. Bella stood before him, completing the laces on her undergarments. It wasn't the first time he had seen her in a state of undress, but when he had seen her after she and Carlisle went for a swim in the river, she was his brother's fiancée and completely off limits. This morning, however, she was his, and he could not recall anything that had tempted him more than the woman in front of him.

Seemingly oblivious to the turmoil within Edward's mind, Bella slipped her dress on, and turned to Edward. She smiled at him brightly, and came over to kiss him on the cheek. "Merry Christmas, sweetheart."

"Merry Christmas, Bella," he returned. "You look lovely this morning."

The truth was, Bella had finally become somewhat discontented with their lack of physical intimacy, and was trying to break down the rigid limits Edward had placed on their relationship. While he was quite fond of kissing her hand or cheek, he had yet to kiss her mouth. At first, she hadn't really noticed the lack of physicality between them, but she was beginning to wonder if he was even attracted to her. If he wasn't interested in a physical relationship with her, could they even have a future?

She cared for him a great deal –could even see herself loving him- but was afraid that their relationship was more of a close friendship than what she truly wanted from a man. After her relationship with Jasper, she knew that she didn't want another relationship based on sex, and was careful to avoid beginning one. She could see a future with Edward, and, if she were being honest with herself, that future included him being her lover as well as companion. It had taken her a long time to come to that realization, but since having arrived at it, she was impatient to further their physical relationship along.

Edward was still reeling from walking in on Bella in a state of slight undress. He was conscious of just how aroused he was, and was careful not to hold Bella too close to him. He didn't know that she would have felt infinitely better about their relationship if he had allowed her to feel the evidence of his desire for her. He was simply terrified. She was a woman with experience, and he was a man of none. He wanted to be enough for her, but was so frightened that she would have expectations that he could never meet.

He also didn't believe in having sex before they were married any more than he did years ago, when Carlisle admitted that he was going to make love with Bella before they were married. He was afraid that if he were to kiss her, it would only be a matter of days before he had given himself fully to her. As appealing as the thought was to part of him, he didn't wanted to compromise his values. There was a small part of him –a part he regularly was forced to quiet- that was afraid that if he slept with Bella before they were married, they would fall into the same form of relationship that she had with Jasper.

He loved her more than he could put into words, but he refused to settle for anything less than her love. He would do anything he could to ensure that she one day would love him, but he knew that he deserved that much if they were to truly make a life together.

After kissing her cheek in return, he grasped her hand in his own, and led her down the stairs to where Charlie was waiting for them in the dining room. He was surprised that Emmett, Sue, Billy, and Alice were not there yet, but before he could inquire about their absence, they entered, carrying coffee, juice, and the cinnamon rolls.

After their breakfast, they retreated to the sitting room, where presents were waiting. Both Bella and Edward were thrilled at the family's reactions to their gifts. Bella had put a great deal of care into what she gave everyone, and was excited that everything went over so well. Even Alice was ecstatic to receive the books, but Bella suspected that she was simply happy to have another tie to Jasper. Bella was surprised that Alice's crush from when she was younger was still present, but she realized that Alice was now close to 18 years old, and no longer the little girl she once knew.

Edward was pleased at the reactions that everyone had to his gifts. His father was especially happy with the stationary and pen, warming Edward's heart greatly. Edward knew how important Charlie's correspondence with Renee was, even if neither ever really spoke of it in the company of their family. Despite their inability to live in the other's world, they loved each other greatly, and he knew that their constant communication was important to them.

The gift that Edward was most nervous about giving was actually Bella's. He knew that she still wore the engagement ring that Carlisle had given her, though she had recently moved it to her right hand, and she wore the aquamarine necklace he had given her for Christmas before leaving for war every day. He knew how much each piece of jewelry meant to Bella, as if she were carrying a piece of Carlisle with her each day. In that respect, he thought that she would appreciate his present, but was wary that she might think that he was trying to stake a claim on her. It was not his intention to do so –at least not consciously- but he could see how someone would view it as such.

He handed her the small package, and held his breath as she opened the silver wrapping that covered the box. She opened the lid, and a small gasp escaped her lips. Sitting nestled in a white velvet cushion were the most stunning earrings she had ever seen. They were platinum, and almost in the shape of a snowflake, but adorned with aquamarine, and a lovely green stone. Her eyes flew to Edward's anxious face with questions in her eyes.

"They're called kaleidoscope earrings, and the stones are aquamarines and tourmalines. You've said that aquamarine reminds you of Carlisle's eyes, and you always wear your ring and necklace; I was hoping that I could give you something that represents Carlisle to you, and perhaps give you something of me, as well."

Bella looked into his eyes, thinking the gesture so generous and thoughtful, and realized exactly what he was trying to convey. His eyes were the exact green color of the tourmaline, and she realized that he wanted a part of him decorating her person, just as Carlisle did. That he would select a piece that was meant to remind her of both him as well as her husband –his brother- was perhaps the most touching gesture. He didn't ever want to take Carlisle's place in her heart, and knew he never could, but it was a clear request that she make room for him in it.

She leaned forward to kiss him quickly in thanks, only to be met with his cheek. She was disappointed that he would refuse her kiss, even after the clear symbolism of his gift, but refused to let the rejection bother her. She understood that he had his reasons, and would find a way to make him more comfortable with her physically. Instead of dwelling on his refusal, she smiled at him after drawing back.

"Thank you so much, Edward. They're absolutely stunning, and you chose exceedingly well; the tourmalines are the exact same shade as your eyes. I would be honored to wear a reminder of you."

Edward finally drew a deep breath in relief. "I'm so very glad. Merry Christmas."

"Thank you, and Merry Christmas. I want you to know—I'm so grateful to have you in my life. I appreciate that you understand why I continue to wear Carlisle's ring and necklace."

"I do. I know that he will always be in your heart, Bella, and I would never want you to remove him."

"I never will, but the greatest gift of the human heart is its ability to love infinitely. Just because I will always hold Carlisle in my heart doesn't mean that there is no room left for you. Quite the contrary, really."

Edward's smile was breathtaking, and his eyes shone with happiness. He had never looked more handsome to Bella, and she found himself wanting to keep him this way always. She had almost expected him to kiss her in the moment as a result of his apparent joy, but didn't allow herself to be disappointed when he again failed to do so. She was nervous that he wouldn't find the gift she had commissioned for him romantic enough, but she had put a lot of thought into it. She found herself explaining her reasoning before she had even led him to where his gift was sitting.

"I know that you have owned your store for a while now, but you've been making so many improvements to it recently. You've expanded a once reasonably successful business into a very profitable enterprise. You have really transformed the store, Edward, and made quite the reputation for yourself as you did."

She began to pull him into the next room, where a large wrapped rectangle sat against the wood, as well as a large box that sat to the side. He was incredibly curious as to the contents. He was also touched by her words. Before he could move to unwrap the gift, she began to speak once more.

"The one thing you have not done is renovate your store front. You still have the same nondescript 'Farming Supply' sign that the previous owners had, and the paint is chipping. I commissioned these after I first came to your shop, so that everyone can see the evidence of all the hard work you put into the store."

After a small gesture of her hand indicating for him to open the package, he tore open the paper to reveal a brand new sign. It read, "Cullen's Farming Supply" in bold white letters, contrasting to the deep green of the background. It was beautiful.

"Bella, this is perfect! Thank you so much. I love it."

Bella smiled widely. "I wasn't certain if you would rather the sign, or a new awning, so I actually bought both," she stated, indicating the box. When he opened it, there was a deep green awning, also boasting his family's name in white lettering. "I thought if you preferred the awning, you could put the sign at the rear entrance, so people picking up the larger items like ploughs and such would know which door was yours."

"This is incredible, Bella! Thank you," he stated once again, this time drawing her into his arms. He relished in the way she fit against him, and could not remember a time where he felt so at peace. Perhaps the gift was not the most traditionally romantic. It was not her heart, but in a way, it was a symbol of her love. She understood what his business had come to mean to him, and wanted to contribute and support that. He had spent a great deal of time, money, and labor transforming the supply store into a vital part of the Helena community, and she was showing him with her gift that she had seen the transformation it had gone through.

When they returned to the sitting room, Charlie was sitting with an envelope in his lap.

"Thank you so much for such a wonderful holiday this year. It's the most festive we've been in years, and I wanted you all to know how incredibly grateful I am to have us all happy and well this year. I received a letter from Jasper five days ago, and wanted to share what he wrote with you."

Charlie didn't inform them that this time, he had opened the letter before setting it aside to read to Bella and Edward. After Edward's letting that he read on Christmas in 1915 resulted in his other two sons joining him in a gruesome war, Charlie refused to read a letter on Christmas without first screening its contents. Jasper's letter was intended as a wish of holiday cheer, and Charlie was happy to share it with his family on Christmas.

December 2nd, 1918

Dear Father,

Merry Christmas! I hope this letter finds you healthy and happy. I'm sure you'll read this to the rest of the family, so please extend my well wishes to them as well. Christmas really won't be the same without you all, and I miss you greatly.

I am headed to South America next. I'm planning to travel through the jungles of the Amazon, and see what manners of beasts I can find there. I have heard about the great people that lived in Peru and Mexico, and I am planning on exploring their ruins.

Once I make my way up South America, I plan on coming home. I aim to be back sometime in the summer. I know I've been gone for a long time, and though there is so much I still want to explore in this world, I miss home. I miss you, Father. I miss you, Bella, and Edward. I hope you are both enjoying life in the city, and I can't wait to see you again.

I must go now, but I hope this has arrived in time for the holiday. I love you all very much.

Merry Christmas,

Jasper

After sitting and talking for a couple of hours, the family adjourned to the dining room, where Sue had dinner laid out. They ate a delicious ham, drank eggnog, and enjoyed the spirit of the holiday. The family was not as complete as it once was, but there was no shortage of joy and love that day.

After the kitchen and dining room were cleaned, Charlie went to his study to write a letter to Renee using his new stationary. Edward and Bella sat in the living room, her hand in his as he played with her fingers. Bella wanted to broach the issue of him not kissing her, but was so frightened of doing so. They had been involved since the middle of September, and it was over three months later. She simply didn't know what to do, or what she could say to persuade him to kiss her. She wasn't expecting him to make love to her now, but she wanted an indication that he might some day be interested in doing so.

Edward was basking in the happiness of the day. Bella had touched him with the gift she gave him, and he was amazed at how well she knew him. She had also accepted the gift he gave her, and seemed to understand his meaning and encourage it. She may not have been in love with him yet, but perhaps for the first time, he thought that she truly might sometime soon.

A small bit of green caught her eye. She looked over to the doorway that led from the sitting room to the hallway, and saw something that was not normally there: mistletoe. It was a holiday tradition, and she knew she shouldn't have been surprised that the Cullens would hang it for Christmas, but she hadn't remembered seeing it in any previous years. She couldn't have known that hanging the mistletoe was Charlie's way of letting them both know that he supported their relationship. He may have been uncertain at first, but after seeing them together, he saw how well they complimented one another.

It was the solution to her current worries, and she immediately concocted a plan. After yawning once or twice, Bella got off the couch. "Is it time for bed?" Edward asked. Bella simply took his hand in her own once again, and pulled him off the couch.

"If that's alright with you, yes. I ate so much at dinner that I'm rather sleepy. I don't know how you weren't overweight as a child when you had Sue preparing your meals," Bella said.

Edward simply laughed. "Let me walk you to your room."

"Thank you."

When they reached the doorway, Bella stopped, and Edward followed suit. "What's wrong?"

Bella pointed up at the ceiling. "I just noticed—there's mistletoe here. You know, I've never been kissed under mistletoe."

Edward felt the muscles in his shoulders and neck tense, and he tried to force the instinctive anxiety away from him. He took a deep breath, and felt his resolve strengthen within him. He was afraid of what a kiss could lead to, yes, but he could also see the pleading hope that Bella was communicating through her eyes. She didn't know his reasons, and he wasn't entirely sure if he had a right to feel as he did. He searched her eyes for any understanding or hesitation, and could not find any.

"I believe that's an oversight that needs to be corrected, Bella. Everyone should be kissed under the mistletoe at least once in their life."

"Have you been kissed under the mistletoe before, Edward?"

Edward's smile was slightly teasing as he paused before answering. "No, I haven't. I've only ever kissed one woman before, and it was not at Christmas time."

"Well, then, I suppose it's time we remedy this problem immediately."

"Yes," Edward breathed.

Slowly, Edward moved one hand to Bella's waist, and brought the other to her cheek. He brushed the soft skin there with his fingertips, and then moved his fingers so that he could tuck a lock of hair behind her ear. Her tongue darted out and moistened her lips. He moved his hand to where the top of her neck and base of her skull met, and lowered his mouth carefully to hers.

It was a tender kiss, slow and unhurried. Edward reveled in the softness of her lips, and as he caressed them with his own, he felt a deep yearning for more contact, and deeper emotions. She was reveling in the surprising strength of his hands holding her to him, and how simultaneously yielding and demanding his lips were. Despite the gentleness of the kiss, it was full of promise.

It was not a kiss of great passion. It wasn't a kiss of need or hunger.

No, it was a kiss of promise and love. His lips promised her that he wanted her for more than just a friend. Her lips promised him that she wanted more from him. He had been afraid that she would never feel passion for him after being intimate with both Carlisle and Jasper, but this kiss proved the worry was without merit. He loved her, and to feel her in his arms at long last was the most complete he could ever remember feeling.

It was Bella's response to the kiss that was most intriguing, however. She had always felt tenderness from him, and she knew that he loved her. What shocked her, however, was that as soon as her lips touched his, she knew that she loved him as well. Perhaps it was not the great love that she had shared with Carlisle, but it was more than comfort and familiarity with Edward. It was love, and she suddenly could not wait to see where it would take them.

A/N: Next chapter will be up Monday as usual. The earrings Edward gives Bella for Christmas are linked on my profile. I think they're gorgeous, and I sort of want both the aquamarine necklace and these earrings. Only in my dreams.