Summary: St Patrick's Day = Drinking = Chaos.

Crack. Crack is fun. Well, for me and the drunken duo but maybe not for Jenny... (Sorry fellow human. I swear the house will be neat and tidy in the next story)

Jenny was going to kill Strax. She was going to slam her butcher knife into his thick head, viciously hack the body up, and dump it into the fire.

Then she was going to murder her wife.

"Ape, you're so gorgeous! I will exterminate these silly grey furry vermin for you!"

"Vermin you say Madame? We need brain splitters and traps filled with laser mites!"

"Excellent plan Strax. Perhaps the grenades also."

"Really? I'll go get them immediately!"

Jenny banged her head on the kitchen table with a groan. One tipsy alien was bad enough. One of the walls still had a massive hole after Strax became offended by its beady eyes. Two aliens completely out of their minds drunk meant the world was ending, or at least the structural integrity of the house was doomed.

Jenny didn't know why the two decided to drink all the alien alcohol out of the house today, but she was seriously regretting leaving earlier to get some groceries. Luckily, there were no cases or the jig would have been up faster than you can say -

"PATER - NOS - HA! DIE YOU DISGUSTING PLANT SPIES OF THE MOON!"

Strax chucked potatoes at the wall with the floral pattern. And there went dinner.

Vastra had a long shirt on, and nothing else. She switched from Silurian to English and back, sometimes several times in a single slurred sentence. While Strax was determined to destroy the house with vegetables and a healthy dose of headbutting, Vastra was a whole different story.

"Mammal, what do I need to kill to please you? I can destroy the small black flying insects, for honor and glory!"

Apparently, she'd become fixated on proving her valor in battle. The imaginary rats and flies didn't stand a chance though it was too bad most of the china ended up being collateral damage.

Jenny sucked in a breath, and momentarily closed her eyes. Desperate times called for desperate measures. It was time to bring in, the Gun.

The human went into the safe under the house, and picked up the Gun. It was a tiny device that packed a punch, much like the human. She really needed to give it a better name.

Operation Alien Beatdown was about to begin.

When she went up, Strax had begun headbutting the floral wall. Jenny pointed the tiny device at the Sonataran and fired. He collapsed faster than a building during a class 12 earthquake.

Vastra was looking for more flies when Jenny entered the room. "Night ma'am."

Vastra turned just as Jenny fired and the Silurian was down.

Aliens 0

Jenny 2

Game over, knock out.

The human wins!

Vastra woke up to severe muscle aches and a debilitating headache. Gods be damned, what happened.

Jenny banged the door open making Vastra flinch at the noise. The smell of food made the Silurian groan and Jenny grinned triumphantly.

Payback was going to be fun.