It was an uncertain time for everybody. The royals, who tried so desperately to convey the illusion of their immortality and superior power, were losing the faith of their empire and I realized that as they crumbled, I crumbled.

My purpose in life had always been to be the right hand of the most powerful and influential man in the world…and he had killed himself. The royals didn't know how they wished to deal with me. A dowager princess, a widow of a mere prince, was not influential enough to remain in the main palace. Of course, one could not erase the past history but there was no reason for them to accommodate my every whim now. There was no reason for my importance anymore. My husband had died and I had not even left him an heir. At least, I didn't bear him an heir while he was still alive.

As I sat waiting for their verdict, I saw the winter blossoms starting to burst magnificently on the dark limber branches. The delicate simplicity was breathtaking and I suddenly remembered my wedding. The great cascade of fragrant petals that fell on top of us both…his laughter as they brushed across his cold face and my own secret pleasure at the splendor. I felt tears pricking the corners of my eyes.

"Dowager Princess, Princess Ursa wishes your presence," Ayanna quietly announced.

I nodded at her slowly and stood stoically as my maids quickly dressed my difficult clothing. I smoothed the dark ebony gown over my stomach and held my breath as I tried to walk towards Princess Ursa's parlor with a smile. I caught a reflection of myself in the pond and saw how wearied I looked. My scarlet hair was no longer as vibrant as it had used to be and my violet eyes looked sullen and defeated. I still looked startling but I had the look of an overburdened king.

"Kara!" Princess Ursa rose and enveloped me into her kind arms.

"Princess Ursa," I protested gently and we sat down.

"I know how difficult this must be for you. Watching all this happen. I'm so sorry…do not listen to a word the Crown Prince says. He is just tired and upset. Luten was the last thing he could remember his beloved wife by. I think that Iroh just lost his mind when he realized that his most prized possession was lost. Luten was his life you know…" she was babbling.

"Thank you, I know."

"Well, the reason why I called you here my dear was to discuss your position in court…" she hesitantly spoke as she spied at my expression from the rim of her iris sprayed teacup.

"Yes?" I gave her no expression. My hands fluttered to my stomach and rested there.

"My dear Kara, you are a dowager princess now…after the ceremony and mourning periods are over, you are free. Most dowager princesses decide to reside in the Damara palace, while others return to their own private palaces…I don't want you to think that we are banishing you from court. You are always wanted at court…but the elders have been wondering if you wished to leave. We know how it is a difficult time."

I looked up to see her smiling expectantly at me. I was right. They all wished me to leave. They wished to banish me and they could now. I felt anger building slowly inside me. These people had forced me into this marriage and taken everything from me…and now they were simply telling me to leave. But they should have known better when they brought me to court in the first place. I was not easy to control while I was here and it would not be easy to banish me out from their world. They forced me in but they would not force me out.

"Princess Ursa?" I smiled at her.

"Yes, dear?" she smiled pleasantly, expecting the answer.

"I have Luten's child," I smiled widely, sarcastically.

"Pardon?" her face dropped ever so slightly to my surprise.

"I am going to have Luten's child," I repeated.

"How?" she seemed horrified and confused, then she placed an ecstatic smile on her face, "Congratulations, dear! Does anyone else know?"

"No," I placed my practiced smile on my face, static and dead.

She seemed overly excited after that. Children always were good news, even if their fathers were no longer alive. She said that she would break the happy news to the elders. I thanked her and left.

As I walked towards my chambers, Zuko grabbed my hand.

"Zuko!" I was surprised by his touch.

"You didn't really do it on purpose did you?" his golden eyes quivered with overflowing tears.

"Didn't do what?" I stole my hand back; angry that he thought Luten's death was my fault.

"Of course, you didn't do anything…I just can't understand why Cousin had to die…I don't understand," he collapsed into uncontrollable sobbing.

"Maybe it was me…he hated me so much, maybe death was a better alternative," I whispered as tears welled in my eyes.

"No! Kara, don't say that. He didn't hate you…it was just…he knew how I loved you and he found it hard to love you at the same time. It's been like this since we were young. We are so alike, we both like the same things…but we love one another too. He was like my brother, and he always felt that he had to give up some things for me, while I felt that I had to give some things up for him. It was the same for you, I believe," he smiled softly through his tears.

I knew it in my heart that it was not true. Luten did not and never would have loved me, even if Zuko had not been in the picture. But those false assurances made me feel so much better, so much more whole; I accepted them with great thanks. It made me feel for the first that I was lovable.

I smiled at the crying prince and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you," I whispered, "thank you for making me feel human…"

He smiled at that and nodded. I watched him leave for his own chambers with Calantha, when he abruptly turned around with a bright smile.

"I shall be attending the war meetings now! Isn't that great? I have been accepted into the meetings…they finally see me as a grown up," he shouted ecstatically.

"That's wonderful! I know you will do well," I shouted back at him with a great smile.

He nodded with thanks and walked to his chambers a little happier.

I came into mine smiling as well. Of course, these smiles were all forced but what could we do? We had to move on, no matter what the consequences, no matter what lied ahead. We had to believe that we could smile…we had to believe that happiness was possible, even if we knew the truth. All we could do was smile.