Users in a World of Fiction

by TREBOR117

The Biotic without his past fought his inner demon and won. The User repaired the code and helped take down a Spectre. But when they meet, it's a new challenge, a new galaxy, and a whole new Shepard. Crossover/Sequel between Trebor117's "Stuck In a World of Fiction" And Starspike7's "Users" .

25. I Really Hate You

Ty:

I clicked my grenade belt's fasten and finished replacing all my guns. Luckily, I had Cecelia grab me some of the spectre weapons so I was completely decked out. Completely ready for whatever Danny or the AI or the universe had to throw at me.

There was a ding behind me and I could only assume that it was Bourne finally sobered up and was getting off the elevator. "So, you ready for this?"

"I'm ready to get my bottle of scotch back."

I looked back and saw Kaidan. "Hey, how's the head stuff going buddy?"

"Fine", he stepped up to his locker and opened it. "Shepard wanted me to get ready and go with you guys."

Closing my locker, I opened my mask and grinned. "Sweet, good to see you finally coming with us."

Kaidan nodded and grabbed his gear quickly. "Yeah, she hasn't seemed too happy with me since we left the Citadel."

I leaned against the locker and began screwing around with a grenade. "Why is that?"

"I just questioned her orders for a second. Just a second. Now she really hates me."

"That doesn't seem like her, usually you have to screw up twice." I raised my eyebrow and knew he wasn't giving me the whole truth.

"Alright, maybe I told her that I kind of love her before then."

I waited a minute thinking that at any moment he would laugh and say he was joking but he just looked down at his feet and looked regretful. "Uh, dude, ever heard the term 'trying too hard'?"

Kaiden placed the rest of his armor on and grabbed out his pistol. "Yeah, yeah, I definitely was. At the time I just wanted her."

"Hehehe, you know I am probably the last person you want to be talking to about this stuff."

He gave me a confused look. "Because?"

"I'm praying that my feelings for her go away, not that she will return them."

"What", his eyes grew to the size of dinner plates. "How can you say that? We have all seen the chemistry you two have."

"Because I have my own reasons, and don't plan to stick around for long." I looked at the grenade and saw that my thumb was hovering over the button to activate it. Luckily, I caught myself and stashed the grenade.

"So, what? You are just going to help us beat Saren and take off?" Kaidan was surprised by what I said.

"Yeah, I have my own demons to defeat. Sure, I will help you with yours but in the end I can't go home till I take my own down."

Bourne's voice cut him off, "I swear, at this point, I'm going to just wait until you're too weak to portal out, then lock you both in a room until you kill each other or just bang...You know, I was wondering how that sobering up thing would work with my resistance to chemicals, and I think that right there was the answer." A knife embedded itself between my feet, then Kaidan's. "But since I can still do that, I don't care."

I sat up and began walking to the elevator. "Well, I'm going to grab one of the meals for the mission. I haven't eaten yet."

"What, you don't like a morning workout before breakfast?" Bourne said with a chuckle as he walked into the elevator a bit behind me, storing his guns on his back as he did so.

"Dude, I have been shot, held onto a moving car, fell out of the sky and died temporarily. I am sure that I have had my workout."

Kaidan ran in behind us. "Wait up, I got my stuff and might as well catch the lift."

"At least this thing isn't as slow as it used to be." Bourne commented. "That's your doing, right Ty?"

I nodded, "Yep, I am awesome enough to speed up an elevator."

"Any way you can make it an omni-tool app? If I do end up with another ship like the one before, that one will just be unbearable now."

"Sorry, doesn't work like that." I hit the button and the elevator began to rise.

"Meh, it was worth a try." He said with a shrug. "Blame the alcohol."

"Are you sober yet?"

"Yes and no. According to the governator, my body reroutes it to part that controls speech. So while I can do a back handspring with my eyes closed, every other sentence I sound totally wasted...Also, no hangover somehow, which is awesome."

"You probably have an overcharged amp." As soon as Kaidan pointed it out, it seemed like the best answer.

"I've only gotten one once after 20 drinks that were 98 percent alcohol, so probably. So, anything we know about this shuttle?"

"Other than the fact that we crashed into it, not much." Kaidan said with a shrug.

The elevator finished its routine and made the ding sound, signalling it was on the top floor. "Sweet, lets get some eats."

The door opened and Shepard saw us as she walked by. "Oh, good, you are ready. Let's get up there quick before they lose all their air and die."

Bourne stopped suddenly. "Uh, something just occured to me. Do these things seal for vacuum? I mean, if they can't handle a little water...wait, how does that work?...Screw it, I'll take your word for it now and maybe get you to explain it later when I'm more in the mood to care."

"Water applies pressure, vacuum is the absence of pressure. These suits can handle the absence of pressure, I am sure."

"Then lets get over there." He looked around. "You know, a less experienced person might question why we're bringing weapons for a rescue mission like this. Me, I'm just making bets with Mr. Governator on how long fore we have to use em."

I took off out of the elevator and ran over to the cafeteria grabbing a biotic portion for the road. Acting fast, I tore it open and began eating everything. This one had two bologna sandwiches, some pudding, three sticks of celery and an apple.

I grabbed out the two sandwiches first and stacked them on top of each other and began eating. Ty, your method of consumption is dangerous and can lead to cramping. We suggest you slow down.

I would have told him to shut up but my mouth was full and I couldn't stop. After the sandwiches, I ate the celery at once and finished it quickly. Following that, I drank the pudding down and moved to the apple.

"Hey, Ty, according to Sir Governator, you're really likely to get a cramp if you eat that fast."

I took one bite of the apple and swallowed it. "I'll be fine, Drew is just mad that I am making him work in overdrive."

"Work in overdrive?"

"Yeah", I took another bite, "He will have to make me digest it faster so that I don't but I don't care. I am hungry."

The apple was suddenly glowing green, and flying into Bourne's hand. "Not the usual breakfast, but it'll do."

I let go of the bag since it was full of trash and smacked out the apple out of his hand and into mine. "I guess it won't do, because this is mine." I quickly licked around the entire apple to make sure he wouldn't take it.

"In case you can't tell, I'm rolling my eyes behind this thing."

"In case you can't tell, I don't care." I took another bite of the apple and ran over to the airlock. "Hey, sexy, ready to go to the party?"

)Seriously. Room. Locked. No way out.(

Shepard looked up from her pad. "Yeah, I'm just checking where the leak has gotten to. Looks like it is just in the rear."

"You know, I seem to recall someone saying Joker was the best pilot in the fleet. So how'd he managed to run right into another ship?" Bourne said with a chuckle. "Also, we taking anyone else over, or just the four of us?"

"Ashley is coming too. I sent her to grab one of my new grenade mods I programmed."

^You know, maybe someone should lock you and her into a room together. Since you haven't made an effort to talk to her since the bar.^

)Did you miss the part where I look like a zombie that got assimilated into the Borg?(

^... Wait, you call me a nerd and yet you are the one watching Star Trek?^

)It was the only good example of a cyborg I could think of off the top of my head.(

^Sure^, I looked to the stairs entrance. "Looks like Ashley's here. So, are we going over in droves or all at once?"

Bourne shrugged. "Either way, you and I oughta be in back. Face mask or not, these suits are more 'we're here to kill you' looking then 'we're here to rescue you' looking."

I closed my facemask. "I can go in the first wave. I'll just stand in back."

Cecelia nodded. "Alright, you, me and Alenko will go over first. Bourne, Ashley, you're second wave."

They both nodded in response. )You make any smart remarks, and breakfast will be on the floor, along with a lot of your blood.(

^I just realized I never told Arnold not to shut you down if you try to attack me.^ I stepped into the airlock. "Let's go."

)You said if I came into the showers and attacked you, he should shut me down, and if I used biotics, you'd hit me with a format thing. Never said anything about other circumstances.( He was smart enough to shut me out before I could.

Cecelia and Kaidan stepped into the airlock with me and she hit the button for transfer. We had to wait for the long pause and get scanned for a couple minutes before the transfer opened.

Shepard drew her pistol and stepped into the next lock. "You know Ty, next time you get a free minute, I'd appreciate it if you could speed this process up like you did the elevators."

"You can add that to the things that everyone wants me to do list. But the thing is so long, I doubt I will get to it."

We stepped into the next airlock and another transfer sequence began. It was shorter since we already went through one. The next doors opened and we were greeted by a man holding a rifle aimed at us.

My hands moved faster than my brain and I shoved the apple on the barrel of his gun.

He looked at it in surprise for a moment before Shepard yanked it out of his hands. "Do yourself a favor- don't be dumb enough to try that again."

Shepard:

She examined the weapon for a moment before handing it to Ty. "Short version: your ship is leaking atmosphere, we're here to save your asses."

The man looked at Ty for a second and then backed away slowly. "No, not with him."

She rolled her eyes. "If you'd rather stay here and die, then get out of our way so we can help the smarter people. Natural selection in action."

The man turned around and took off running screaming, "Patient zero is here!"

"...Can someone explain to me what just happened?" Kaidan asked, scratching his head.

Ty shrugged. "Beats me. I just work here."

She opened her mouth to say something, but then noticed something on the wall across from the airlock. She walked over to it to get a closer look. It looked like a distorted hexagon with a slit in the bottom, with two smaller arms on each side. "Either of you seen this symbol before?" She asked, turning back to the men.

"Looks like Cerberus." Ty answered after a moment.

"Hades' dog from in greek mythology?"

Ty nodded. "Yep, but this is the symbol for a human forwarding group. By the way, you know greek mythology?"

She looked at the symbol with some distaste. "How exactly do you know this group? It sounded like he recognized you...though I don't know how he could, in armor like that."

He shrugged. "Run ins here and there. But seriously, you know Greek mythology?"

She thought for a moment, considering. A group like this wasn't one she really wanted to rescue.

"What would they be doing out here?" Alenko asked after a moment. "And what did he mean Patient Zero?" He looked at the armor a moment before backing away slightly.

Ty looked at him. "What, do you find a woman who knows her mythology repulsive? I think it is the sexiest thing ever. I love the Iliad, it's my favorite story."

"If Aphrodite is done with you," Shepard commented, trying to hide her surprise, "Let's find out what they're doing out here, and if anyone else actually wants to be rescued." She looked at the two doors on each side of them, leading to the opposite sides of the ship. "I say we go right, and let the other two take the left."

"We should probably tell them that then." Kaidan agreed, already walking towards the door.

"Alright", Ty grabbed his apple off the top of the gun and continued eating it. "I'm curious about this patient zero thing."

"You're sure that thing isn't contagious, right?" She asked as she brought up the com. "Bourne, Williams you there?"

"Almost." Ashley replied.

"We're going to take the starboard side of the ship. You and Bourne get port."

"We just making sure people don't get left behind or what?" The latter's voice cut in. "Also, Hero has apparently decided to come with us."

"Who?"

Hannah's voice broke in. "I thought you weren't going to use that nickname anymore?"

"You volunteered for a rescue mission first thing in the morning. Don't tell me that it doesn't fit right now."

Cecelia shook her head. "Hey quick question, you said you were in a nanite program with Ty right?"

"...Similar program, not quite the same. Why?"

"These Cerberus guys called Ty patient zero. Know anything about that?"

There was a brief silence on his end. "Cerberus? As in that dog that guarded the underworld for Hades? Which inspired the name for a crazy prohuman terrorist group?"

"That one."

"...you sure it's them?"

"Octagonal orange and black symbol?"

There was the distinct sound of metal bending on the other side of the door. "What the hell are they doing here?"

"I don't know, you tell me."

"...where'd the patient zero thing come in? Did someone say that before attacking or something?"

"The guy was looking scared at Ty. Then he ran off screaming 'It's patient zero!' Any idea why?"

"I'm an amnesiac, remember?...I know them by reputation, and one run in a while back. Let's just say I'm glad I was getting paid to kill them and not capture them, because they deserved the former a lot more."

She shrugged. "Okay, well, we are going to check this out."

"Where do you need us skipper?" Ashley broke in.

"We're taking the starboard side of the ship. You take your team on the port side. And see if you can find out what they're doing here. Rescuing them just became a secondary objective."

"...Roger that."

"And this is exactly why I didn't question us bringing weapons." Bourne commented.

Shepard pulled up her rifle and gave Kaidan the signal to open the door. All three of them rushed in with their guns ready and found three scientists cowering in fear at at the other end of the room. Ty started walking ahead but all the scientist began screaming and huddled closer together.

"Uh, maybe I should stay back here."

Shepard stored her rifle and grabbed her pistol instead. "Would one of you like to explain why you're so terrified of him? And what you're doing out here?" She pointed the pistol at the head of the one in the middle. "That wasn't a choice by the way."

"He's patient zero."

"Yeah, I gathered that from the last time you said it. What does that mean, and why are a bunch of pro human terrorists out here?"

The woman in the center stepped out from the group. "Okay, look, we were on our way to a base when our engines went out and we lost power."

"That would explain why Joker didn't catch them on radar as we approached." Kaidan commented.

Ty walked forward but the woman stepped back. "Why am I patient zero?"

One of the men behind the woman screamed. "He still has the voice!"

"Normally this is the type of thing I might find funny, but it's just annoying right now." Bourne's voice made Shepard spin around. "You know, if you're going to be so damn quiet when you walk, whistle or something so I don't shoot you on instinct!"

He stepped past her to look at the group, or maybe glare at them. "Hmm, no obvious signs of injury. Are you just that good at being bad cop now you don't even have to hit them?"

"Didn't she tell you to go with Chief Williams?" Alenko said with disapproval.

He waved him off. "Hannah's more than capable of backing her up while we-" He raised a hand, glowing with green biotic energy. "Ask them a few questions."

"Patient Zero, nicknamed for the zero that the corrupted nanites in his body formed. Or at least, whatever is actually left of his real body." The woman began to look at Ty with more scorn than fear.

"Um, okay, that's not why I have the zero."

"I just figured you were part of a sports team." Bourne said with a dark chuckle as he started walking towards them. "Now, I realize it's early to be saying this, but I've had a long day, so if you don't start making sense-" There was a faint hiss, and several of them turned green at the sight of his now revealed face. "You're going to be envying my appearance."

"Patient Zero, or as he probably calls himself Ty, was one of our projects that went horribly right. We wanted to create a human that could control nanites and we did. In fact, we did it so well that he was able to feel a need for revenge. He ended up clearing an entire base of us by having the nanites turn the people there into jelly."

They looked at them for a moment before Bourne closed his helmet and turning back to Shepard. "Are we sure these guys aren't just high on red sand or something?"

"I can turn people into jelly?" Ty seemed to find his voice again.

The lady grabbed her pistol off her side and shot Ty right in the chest. "Yes, and you turned my husband into it."

The pistol suddenly flew out of her hands and into Bourne's. "Anyone else want to try that?" He switched it to his left hand and grabbed his own pistol with the other. "Please say yes, because I really want to shoot you racist bastards anyway and doing it that way would make it much more satisfying."

Shepard looked over at Ty, "Are you okay?"

"He should be, he has no chest cavity." The woman winced as a bullet hit the wall next to her head.

"I've got considerable evidence to the contrary." Bourne said, spinning his guns around on his fingers for a moment before pointing them at her chest. "Care to have me check you for one?"

Ty stepped past Bourne and up to the woman. "You just shot me."

The girl looked at him in horror as he slammed his fist into her chest and surrounded her with nanites. "What are you doing?"

"Just rewriting your genetic structure so that your stomach acid doesn't hold in your stomach and slowly eats your body away. And without any saliva, you will really feel the full force of the acid."The scariest part of Ty's words was that he was so calm.

He was suddenly yanked backwards, glowing green. "If I were you, I'd try apologizing and maybe he would undo it." Bourne commented. "Or at the very least, I might just shoot you in the head and put you out of your misery."

She seemed to be gritting her teeth, and Shepard suddenly heard a faint beeping coming from the women. The other two dived out of the way and Bourne threw up a barrier as her head literally exploded in a geyser of blood.

"...That might have been a little far Ty." Kaidan said, voice a little shaky for obvious reasons.

"That was an ocular flashbang." Bourne said, looking at the other two. "And I'd bet they've got them too."

Ty moved quick and grabbed them by their shoulders and they were covered in nanites for a second. "Now they don't."

"Good. Easier than having to rip them out." Bourne walked over to them.

"Holy shit, 24 too?" One of them said in disbelief, making the biotic pause in his tracks, and look down at the Omega symbol on his chest.

Ty grabbed both of them and reached into their pockets. "I got two OSDs here. I'm guessing one of them has information on us… just in case you want to finish them off quick."

Shepard bit her lip, finding Ty's sudden brutality a bit attractive.

"Quick was the opposite of what I had in mind." Bourne's omni-tool appeared around his hand, and suddenly formed a flaming stabbing implement. "Got a coin to flip for who gets who?"

Shepard took two shots and both the scientists dropped dead. "I get the kills. Let's get back on the Normandy and head to Feros."

Hannah's voice suddenly came over the com. "Cecelia, Bourne, you there?"

The Biotic raised his hand to his com as he angrily spun away from the corpses. "Yeah. You find something?"

"Yeah, an entire fucking army of these guys. Phantoms, Guardians, even a few Dragoons. We're pinned down, and one of them got Ashley in the leg. We need backup five minutes ago!"

"Good. Maybe this time I'll get to kill them before someone else does it for me." He almost growled as he sprinted through the door- literally through it, not waiting for it to open.

Ty pointed at the door. "Um, overkill?"

Cecelia nodded and pointed ahead. "Use your teleport thing and catch up to him. That idiot probably will get himself killed."

"You know you left the com on, right? And worry less about me, and more about anything in my way."

"Stop showboating and hurry up!" Hannah scolded him.

Bourne:

I didn't bother replying to Hero, just shutting down both the link and the comm. I was just focusing on the upcoming fight, and what I remembered from ME3.

Warning. Repeated collisions with doors may impair mental health.

I punched through another on, easily breaking sprinting records thanks to the armor. )Unlike some people, I don't use my skull as the method to break through doors.(

^Dude, I just got here and managed to slit a phantom's throat with my glaive.^

I smashed through another door, and heard gunfire down the hallway. )Leave the Dragoons to me. In fact, just stick to one side of the room so I don't have to worry about hitting you on accident.(

You realize that the lash technology they employ would not be compatible with this armor, and even if it was, it would not work with the knives covering your arms?

)So it's an insurance policy for if I ever do get this thing off without dying in the process. Ty, any idea what's going on? Because I don't remember this happening in the game.( I broke down the door, and found myself in a large warehouse/cargo bay area. The gunfire stopped as most of them turned to look at me. I cracked my neck and knuckles in anticipation. "If any of you want to break those false teeth, now's the time to do it."

Most of them just turned their weapons towards me instead.

"That's the answer I was hoping for." I clapped my hands in front of me, creating a small sphere of energy that tore through several of them that were standing in a line. I rolled behind a crate as they opened fire, and sent a few knives into my hand. )Hero, how are you two holding up?(

*Not great. They can't get close without walking into the singularity I set up, but they're keeping us pinned in over here.*

)Ty, can you get to them and portal them to a better spot?(

^Hang on, Hero has a Phantom behind her.^ Ty shot out of a portal and pinned an invisible entity to the wall that revealed itself to be a phantom. ^Okay, what are you saying? Ah, portalling Hero and Ashley. Um, no.^

*Why the hell not?!*

)Sigh. Let me guess, only works for you and me?(

^No, I just don't want to do it because what Hero said to me was really embarrassing and it's not like I said I loved her or anything. Plus, I already accepted that it wasn't possible. She just added insult to injury.^
)Are you seriously doing this in the middle of a fight?!( *Are you seriously doing this now!?* Our responses were almost instantaneous.

Before he could reply, the doors on the far side of the room opened up, and an Atlas walked in, slow and menacing. ^Yes, yes I am. Because I know I can do this without her and Ashley. This is Silver difficulty at worst.^

"Dibs on the mech" I said angrily over the com, activating my omni-blade and vaulting over cover, sprinting right at it. It raised its arm to fire, but I just grabbed a crate and put in front of me to use as a shield. Its rocket blew through it, but I wasn't even slowed.

)Then if you go down, you better have medigel because I'm not going to be reviving you.(

The driver aimed the secondary cannon at me, but I was moving too fast for it to get a bead on me. ^I will be fine. You will have to revive Hero though. Speaking of which, look out Atlas is firing a rocket at you thanks to Bourne.^

I saw the,mech's arm pointed towards her, and I threw a barrier up around it. The rocket tore through it, but the course was affected enough that it exploded harmlessly on the ground several feet away. )That was the last rocket this guy's going to fire.(

I jumped in the air as I reached it, and created a small singularity in my right palm as I landed on it, ensuring I wouldn't slide off. "Time to cut you down to size!" My omni-blade went straight through the protective glass and into his head, killing him instantly. I braced my legs against it, and kicked off, propelling myself through the air and denting the door so someone else couldn't get in and replace him.

"Alright, who's next?!"

The last trooper was looking at me in awe and then fell to his knees and revealed Ty behind him. "God, you are slow."

I opened my face plate, just because I wanted him to see exactly how pissed off I was- enough that my normal poker face was completely gone, replaced by pure rage. . "You're lucky I'm not stabbing you for that stunt you pulled too."

"Bourne, don't tell me what to do in a fight. I have my own method and on top of that, I am a glass cannon right now. What you told me to do was like telling a Fury to go revive the Geth Juggernaut that's in the middle of a cluster fuck of enemies."

I charged at him, and he was sent backwards into a wall. I was instantly there, hand around his throat. "Not being able to help is one thing. But refusing to help a squad mate because she rejected you?" I threw him head first against the far wall. "You're too pathetic for me to even kill."

You run a high risk of my being ordered to shut you down.

)If he does, he's only proving my point. I might like running solo, but at least I know how to work with a team when I need to, instead of just running off and doing whatever the fuck I want.(

A dragoon suddenly walked through the same door as the Atlas, and I charged at him before he could even activate his whips. I didn't bother with anything fancy, I just shoved my Assassin in his face and pulled the trigger until it overheated. The explosive rounds left almost nothing of his head intact.

I turned back to the cargo bay, angrily storing my weapon. )I think I actually liked him better when he was drunk.(

Ty stood up and looked at me. "I already accepted that it wasn't going to happen. What she did, was overkill but I guess that's something she must have picked up from you. Luckily, she didn't pick up your intense rage and inability to handle things in a way that is nonviolent."

I raised a hand, glowing with biotic energy. "Excuse me if I get pissed off because someone tries to get my friend killed over a grudge."

"Bourne, you are looking at the guy that could stop someone from dying. So don't tell me that I should feel responsible for everyone's ability to fight. Not like you would save me if I was going to die. Hell, you would probably let me die if given the chance."

I grit my teeth. "If I had to kill you, I would do it in heartbeat. But until said moment of no other choice came, I'd help you as much as I'd help anyone else I fight with. Not that the all powerful user would ever need help." The last bit was dripping with scorn.

"Fuck you, the only help I need is that of my friends. But instead of them here, I got you. The selfish bastard who only thinks about himself and infects everyone else with that method of thinking."

"Only thinks about himself? Do you know how many times I put myself in harms way to save my friends? To save everyone?" I pointed a finger in his face, close enough he could have bitten it if the face mask was open. "I might not be a saint, but don't claim that you are either."

"I'm not a saint and never will be. I am selfish, unfocused, crazy and all powerful when the universe is in my favor. All those things make sure that I won't be a saint but you know what it shows me. I am still real. I can actually leave this place and still maintain a good life. Can you do that or would you puss out because you are scared of the real world?"

It took every ounce of self control I had not to put my fist through his face then and there. "I'm not staying for my sake, I'm staying for Raptor's, Ashley's, and everyone else that's depending on me to help stop the Reapers. I'm staying, despite knowing everything that can and will happen, and everything that could happen. I could die a hundred different ways." I yanked my hand down before I threw a flare right in his face. "Neither of us asked for these responsibilities. But I'm not running from them first chance I get like you. You're a spoiled child with more power than he deserves, with no common sense whatsoever, who acts without thinking, and doesn't give a damn about the consequences!" I spat on the floor in disgust.

"Please, you talk as if you have been in my shoes. You wouldn't know what it's like to be in my shoes."I looked in his hand and saw it covered in golden matrix code. "You think that it's easy being me but it screws with your head. You try having more power than you can handle and everyone always expecting you to help them with their problems." His fist moved quick and struck me across the face but I managed to nail him in the stomach at the same time with my biotics.

The resulting explosion propelled me backwards and I collided into a box and the impact seemed to hurt more than it should have. I brought my hand up to my face but noticed that my mask had somehow closed again.

)Arnold, open my mask back up(

Ty, Arnold is Jason's suit. I am Drew.

I looked over at Ty, and my hands clenched into fists again. )You know something Ty? When we first met, I thought you were full of crap when you talked about your powers. Now, I know that's about the only thing you've ever said that wasn't full of it. You say you're tired of having all the power, all the answers. Yet every other conversation is about your powers, and what you can do. You act like a god, then are mortal when it suits you. If you had been in my spot, without your precious powers, you wouldn't have lasted ten minutes. And if I'd been in your spot, maybe I wouldn't have either. But you know what, I'd have rather died than become what you are.(

I saw him sit up rubbing his face. "Ugh, why do I feel fat, heavy and ugly all the sudden?" Something red glinted on his chest, and as it came into the light, I saw it was the same red omega that my armor had. And as I looked at his arms, the same array of knives surrounded it. I snorted in contempt.

"For someone that claims to be so different, you seem to be quick to copy me." A moment later, I realized my voice wasn't right- it sounded way off.

"Bourne, are you alright?" Hannah rushed over from where she'd been, apparently smart enough not to get in our way. But despite her apparent concern for me, it was him she rushed towards.

He pulled away from her. "Hannah, I am the last person you should be worrying about right now." He pulled his hand down and I saw glowing scars.

I felt a chill go down my spine- though I suddenly doubted it really was my spine. )Ty- look up real quick.(

Ty looked up and raised an eyebrow. "Why does Bourne have my red zero?" It wasn't his eyebrow I saw though- it was mine.

I tilted my head forward slightly, and the mask opened. "I think I got a tiiiiiny bit more than that." I looked over at a guardian's corpse, and reached for his shield, wanting the metal for a reflection. Instead of flying into my hands, it just stayed there, on the ground.

"The fuck, get off me Ashley! Why the hell do you keep calling me Bourne? I am Ty." I looked over, and saw that she'd gotten to him while I was distracted.

)Are you just retarded? Whatever the fuck you just did, we fucking swapped bodies! FUCK!( I punched the wall angrily, and started shaking my hand in pain, my enhanced strength gone.

"I know Bourne, might as well tell everyone. Guys, we switched bodies somehow."

"..."

*...*

I looked down at myself- or Ty's self- and sighed angrily. "You know, I can't decide wether I want to kill you, or myself."

"Oh. My. God. I have to try something." I was surrounded in a green aura and then thrusted up into the ceiling and fell back down to the floor. "Shit, if I knew it was that fun, I wouldn't have just yelled at you for beating on me every time you got angry."

I pushed myself back to my knees angrily. "Fun's over. Change us back, or I swear to god I will kill us both!"

That does not seem likely to work.

)Did I ask you?!(

Hero shook her head. "This is weird, even by our standards, agreed?"

"Understatement of the century." I responded.

Cecelia and Kaidan suddenly rushed in, and took in the carnage at a glance. God damnit, why do I feel like she's going to come over here and do something I won't like?

^Do we tell them or should we keep it between the four of us?^

Cecelia kneeled down next to me and began looking me over. "Are you okay? Why is there a dent in the crate and floor? Why is Bourne across the room?"

I laughed harshly. "Yeah, this is going to sound nuts, but Bourne's actually right here, and Ty's over there."

*Yeah, don't actually discuss the matter at all before spilling it. Great plan.*

)I am not letting that idiot walk around in my body and make me look like a fool without making sure everyone knows he's the idiot doing it, not me.(

^I can act like Bourne, just brood and whine all the time about not being in my own universe.^

"Did you hit your head or something?" Cecelia asked, reaching for my forehead. I grabbed her wrist halfway there.

"Let me say this as bluntly as I know how. Ty is in my body, and I'm in his. He did something stupid and we ended up swapping brains as a result." I chuckled slightly. "Or rather, his body got my brain, and my head got a lot lighter."
Cecelia stood up and wiped her hands together. "Alright, Hannah, Ashley and Kaidan report to the comm room. Ty", she made it a point to look at me, "and Bourne", she looked at Ty, "Go to the medbay and get your heads checked."

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "What sort of proof would you need to believe this? Because apparently all it takes to believe in giant space robots is a bad dream from alien tech. This seems a lot more believable in comparison."

Shepard set her gaze and crossed her arms, "Now."

I grit my teeth a moment before an idea hit me. I shrugged casually and walked over to Ty as he stood up in my body. Then I punched him in the gut, swept his legs from under him, grabbed the knife on his shoulder, then pinned him to the ground and held it to his throat just long enough for everyone to see what had happened.

For his part, he looked slightly dazed as I stood up, looked at Shepard, and held the knife out in front of me. I just opened my palm and let it fall.

It might have convinced her if Ty hadn't retaliated by biotically pinning me to a wall and then sending the knife I had on my body out to line his body and hold me in place. "Can we just go?"

)Way to go dipshit. You couldn't have taken me by surprise like that, but this I could easily do to you. So much for proof.(

^Bourne, you are acting irrational like me but way overboard. We need to talk about this and figure out how to break it to everyone without them freaking out because the psychopath is now in the body of someone who can control the universe.^

)Psychopath? Don't you think that's a little far considering you just let those guys back there be eaten by their own stomach acid? I was just going to threaten them, only stab them if I had to.(

*You know, at this point, how about you let it go and we just try to convince them you're not both completely insane and worry about the rest after that…though for the record, I would have been convinced if you hadn't thrown him against the wall.*

^Yeah, but I want to break it to Shepard and not Bourne.^

)Regardless, can you let me down already? Just because I'm the body of a demi-god, doesn't mean you have to crucify me!...God, I can already feel the stupidity built into this thing.(

That has nothing to do with your mind's location. It simply was a terrible joke.

)And someone tell this thing to shut up!(

S7: Alright, I feel awesome. I made pickled red beet eggs.

(Ick, why would you want pickles with eggs?)

T117: Moron...you know, I've always wondered though, why is it everything is 'pickled noun' but pickled cucumbers are just 'pickles?'

S7: Uh, because of jewish tradition.

(The mooore youuu knowwww...raaaaiiiinnnbbbooowww.)

S7: Actually, that was an honest to god guess that I got right.

T117: I'd have guessed it was the first thing we figured out to...well, pickle.

S7: Well, at least you didn't make a joke like"...got us out of that pickle."

T117: Even I'm not that terrible.

S7: Also, the Pickle was brought over to America by the Jews as it was a common lunch item. this happened at about the Progressive era and the progressives at the time hated it and actually tried to kill the pickle because it wasn't "American enough." So, now que it Iron.

(...That was one of the nerdiest things I've ever heard. So you don't deserve it.)

T117: How is knowing history 'nerdy?'

(Cause it's him doing it.)

S7: I'm sorry that I am majoring in history.

(You should be. Anyway, I think this is question time.)

T117: Okay, let's see here...the review system doesn't allow them, but I'm pretty sure he's asking who the ~ are.

S7: For the third time, that is Layla. If you haven't read Users, you are going to be in the dark until Feros.

T117: Okay, next, from DarthXaryi, love the suggestion about Jacob, don't ask about the Iron thing.

S7: Yeah… Ty doesn't just do something in cold blood. You don't get style points that way. And the way I see it, the Format Strike is more of a "Get Out of Jail Free" card. It just makes the person go back to spawn, doesn't really inflict any pain, and fully heals them upon resumption.

T117:...What about the thing with the stomach acid. That was kinda in cold blood.

^I wasn't going to let them die from it. It was more of a.. coxing method.^

)So, torture then.(

^Bingo!^

S7: Alright, so next is Mechanicalcheese with: Why does Ty instinctually want to kill Bourne?

^Uh, say what now?^ )What.(

~I can answer this, Ty doesn't instinctually want to kill Bourne. His brain goes over likely scenarios if certain events follow a pattern when he is asleep. What you read was his mind going over what would be the likeliest scenario at that point in time if Bourne and he were put in a deathmatch at the end if everything was low key and nothing changed his current relationship with Bourne.~

S7: I swear, I love having a character that it makes sense to spew exposition from.

~Thanks… I think.~

(Hey, I do that, and I'm like Trebor's favorite character to write the rest of the time. And you said we have nothing in common.)

S7: Alright, next question!

T117: Uh...I guess Masterdude94's is more of a comment, but close enough. The solution we'll end up using is spoilers removed by host. That makes plenty of sense, right?

S7: Considering I haven't decided who Ty gets with or if he will get with anyone at all? Yeah, I'd call that alright. I just can't decide if it will discredit one of the messages that I tried to put into my story.

T117: Yeah, I can definitely see that.

S7: Really? Because I am very skeptical since it seems everyone just kinda glances over it and doesn't get it.

T117: Well, most people don't have 50 plus extra chapters of this to look at and draw conclusions from, not to mention how much you and I have talked about our stories while writing this, or just while gaming.

S7: True. So, any other questions?

T117: It doesn't look like it.

(I have a question. Why is there an orange monkey dancing on my keyboard, without actually hitting any of the keys? And why is he wearing a leprechaun hat?)

T117:...

Crazey Metal has been logged off by host because there is literally no possible response to that.

S7: So, I got a question for all the people reading this that are Final Fantasy fans. Bourne, Ty, Hero, Iron, and Cecelia all make up a Final Fantasy team. Select weapons from each game and a class for each of them. We don't care if you mix and match like the class system from XIII with the weapons from VII. Just do it though, we are curious what you guys would come up with.

)What's all this 'we' stuff?(

^Are you not curious as to how other people see you?^

S7: It shows how you see our characters vs how we do.

T117: Yeah, but it'll mean absolutely nothing to me cause I've never played that series. Cue more disappointment like last chapter.

S7: *Looks away in shame* I guess I will have to explain it to you. Or you can just use the FF wiki to see what they are saying.

T117: I'll go with the latter.

S7: And that is our cue to exit, stage left. 1473I2.

T117: Sayonara.