Title: No Requiem

How People Shape our Lives

Essay By Erin Lindsay

{Sorry I do not speak Spanish everything that is written in Spanish I got from Google. I apologize if it's wrong}

¿Música es la clave para la revelación si no podemos usar nuestro talento para hacer un cambio para el positivista hacia la juventud, lo que es el punto de talento, libertad de expresión? ¿Cuál es el punto en la vida?

I remember those words clearly even though the first time I heard them was six years ago. They mean music is the key to Revelation if we can't use our talent to make a change for positivist towards the youth, what's the point in talent, freedom, expression? What's the point in life?

I was nine, sitting on the steps of my school. Mom was late picking me up of course probably hung over. The young girl that plopped down beside me was beautiful I had seen her from a far a few times. She was in my music class I knew she had an amazing voice.

I was feeling sorry for myself that day, as I watched all the other kids getting picked up or walking home in groups. Laughing joking, being a part of something special. I sat there wondering why I was so alone. Why no one noticed me. Would they care if I stepped in front of that bus? Let's see.

"Tu bebé no solo mi mamá me olvidaron a chupa ¿EH? Lo que dices ¿pegan? Justo cuando crees tu solo, alguien ver su dolor, a veces simplemente toma una mano, un solo corazón para dar a conocer, no estás solo"

["Your not alone baby girl my mom forgot me to, sucks huh? What do you say shall we stick together? Just when you think your alone, someone else sees your pain, sometimes it just takes one hand, one heart to make it known, You are not alone"]

She had no way of knowing I spoke Spanish did she? Yet she was having a full blown conversation with me. Looking around I had to make sure she was talking to me. I mean there could be someone else around right? Why else would one of the prettiest funniest girls in our school be talking to a loser like me?

"Levantar la cabeza a la niña no se ven tan triste, te encontré ahora que vamos a ser amigos, te prometo ser mi amiga, nunca serás la misma chica. Voy a cambiar tu vida"

[Lift your head up baby girl don't look so sad, I found you now we are going to be friends, I promise you being my friend, girl you'll never be the same. I will change your life"]

Ryann believed in never slamming on the brakes but pressing the gas on full steam.

She's lived her whole life on plowing ahead when others tend to look back. She's had to her life reads like a horror story ripped from the newspapers headlines.

May 1992

Marisa Esposito

32 Found Dead in her apartment apparent cause Aids

She leaves behind a daughter Ryann and a son Evan, her husband Hector Esposito passed away two years ago from a Drug Overdose.

Ryann Esposito and Evan Esposito

Endangered Runaways Police believe their in the custody of a known drug lord who goes by the name Big Dick. If spotted use caution and call the police.

Evan Esposito 15 years old March 1995

Found dead single gsw to his chest police suspect a rival gang retaliated against a drug deal gone south. Police are asking anyone with information to come forward.

Ryann will never know how she saved me from suicide back then. We never speak of that day it's also the day her mom was found dead in her apartment. It's also the day Ryann found out she had HIV.

Through documents she found in her moms dresser, when she was gathering things to leave home. She refused to let CPS take her. Evan had a friend who said he would help them.

His friend was Oliver they never guessed just how his help would cost them.

HIV soon became the last of Ryann's worries, our struggles however brought us closer. Her friendship has saved me, made me laugh made me cry made me hope, dream. We may lose in the lottery of family or luck but we will win in the lottery of life.

As long as you have friends by your side you can never be far from the sun. because friends are the rays of beacon when clouds threaten your existence. They shape you and how you see yourself. Friends are important – they give us a feeling of belonging, they bring fun and laughter, lend an extra hand, offer emotional support, and give guidance when we need it.

Whether you realize it or not, their influence goes well beyond the moment. My close friendships helped to shape the course of my life. Researchers have recently discovered a new theory called the Michelangelo effect. Basically they find that when you surround yourself with people who see you inside who see how great you can be even at your lowest moments. They encourage you to be what they see inside, their influence their guidance can allow you to see for yourself what they see inside.

Ryann makes me see that even though times are hard nothing can last forever even pain. Sometimes all you need is an extra pair of hands, a bit of music to make you get up dance out the stress. Another pair of ears to listen when you cry or scream. Another pair of hands to help take out your anger. Arms to hold you when your legs fail,

She's shaped my life in ways I haven't even seen yet. Things that when I am older I will look back on, smile and remember my angel named Ryann. Ryann's voice is what got me through having Max's hands on my body having my legs wrapped around his hips as my back was slammed against the wall of this dirty broken bathroom stall.

She was singing of hope of future I was just trying to get through this night.