Chapter Twenty-four. Battle Trauma

Lenora was running as fast as she could through the-eh! No. This is what is going on while she is yet again, having another crazy dream. "Lenora, wake up!" Mia was shaking Lenora.

"She's still asleep?" asked Lethe as she stopped rolling up one of her shirts. The army was to leave in an hour.

"This always happens whenever we get to a new country for some strange reason! When it takes over five minutes to wake her up, that just tells you that she's in some random dream and it'll take a long time to get her to freaking wake up! Back in Gallia it was a sunflower garden! When we were in Begnion, it was rubber chickens! In Daein it was Soren with a jam-vomit tome! And now, Ashera knows what the crap she's dreaming about, now!"

"Talking snow cones…" Lenora mumbled.

"Well, there's your answer." Lethe remarked.

"Goodness gracious, me…" Mia slapped her forehead and shook her head.

"SNOW CONES ARE SO TASTY!!!" Lenora suddenly shrieked in her sleep and jumped up and while still asleep, licked Lethe's face.

"Aaugh!" yelped Lethe as she swatted at Lenora. "What the hell?"

"Get used to it. She'll always do this." Mia sighed.

As the Crimean Liberation Army was making its way to Melior, Lucia was explaining things to Ike and Stupid Princess Elincia: "Once we cross the hills, we'll be in Delbray territory. Count Bastian went ahead of us, so they should know of your return by now. Speaking of which...here he comes now! I suppose he couldn't wait any longer and came riding to meet you. How sweet."

A blonde-haired sage dude came running up to them, "Princess Elincia! Lady Lucia!

"Bastian! There's no need for you to rush so! I'm coming in your direction anyway-" Elincia was interrupted by Bastian,

"We've been attacked! Castle Delbray is surrounded by enemy troops!"

"No!" Elincia cried.

"It can't be..." said Lucia.

Bastian continued to talk, "Geoffrey's acting as a decoy. You must continue on this road to the southwest."

"So the enemy's found us, eh? Nothing to do about it but change course. I'll lead you to another hiding place." Lucia immediately started to make plans.

Elincia stammered, "Wh-what are you saying, Lucia? We must help Geoffrey! Bastian?"

"Luck was not with us, Princess. We have no choice. We'll have to abandon our companions-"

"I say not!" Ike interrupted.

"What did you say?" Lucia looked taken aback.

"We're going to the castle. If it's surrounded by Daein troops, we can just cut our way through and join the other knights!" Ike replied.

"Weren't you listening? I said we had no choice but to leave them behind! They were lost to us the moment the enemy discovered and surrounded them!"

"Don't worry about that! Frederick will help us win the battle! We'll all be just fine!" Ike said so youthful-sounding.

"You are the general of Crimea's army, are you not? ...Even if only for the moment? I would hope that you would act more in accordance with your responsibilities."

Ike replied smartly, "Listen, lady, I didn't choose or ask to be general. I was put here by matters of time and circumstance. But, as a mercenary, I have a contract with Princess Elincia that's still in effect. That means she's my employer. And right now, my employer says she wants to go and save the people stuck in that castle. Is that correct, Elincia?

"Yes. I don't want... I don't want anyone else to be sacrificed."

"So...we're going to help them! If you're so worried about the princess, I'll leave her here with you, and you can keep her safe!"

"My lord Ike..." Stupid Princess Elincia just said.

"Right then, my minions! Let's go help the soldiers at Delbray Castle! Everybody, let's destroy these Daein shit-heads!" Ike cheered as he got out Frederick. "Muah-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaaaaaaaaaw!!!!!!!!!" Ike laughed maniacally as he scared the shit out of the Daein soldiers who saw Frederick. "And check this out!" Ike then started tap-dancing.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"OH MY GODDESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"OH, THE CRAP-DAMNED DEADLINESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DANCER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!" Everyone screamed that and everyone looked at the Daein soldier who blurted that out.

"Oopsie…just so you all know, I'm related to someone who's name is Oliver of Tanas."

"HOLY SHIT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ike screamed bloody murder in extreme shock and horror. He then became angry and charged at the creepy soldier and stabbed him dead. "Whew, bloody cleavers that was close!" Ike wiped his sword and grinned at everyone. Then the fight continued.

After a while; Ike, Lenora, Soren, Gareth, Mia, and Marcia were chased into a house that was across the bridge to the north.

Some woman who was living there started gasping and saying, "Oh, thank the goddess! The Crimean army has arrived. We who have suffered so much under Daein's rule will finally be free! We can put our faith in that, can't we? If there's anything we can do to help, we'll do it. Please, rescue our beloved Crimea. Oh please-"

"OH DEAR ASHERA MAKE HER SHUT-UP, PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ike screamed.

"Um… Excuse me?" the woman looked incredibly weirded out. Just then a javelin flew through a window and nearly hit Lenora.

"Whoa!" Lenora exclaimed.

"Block the windows!" Soren bellowed.

"Oh, yes!" the woman then started handing things to everyone, like wooden boards, shoes, pans, plates, and cleavers. After a few minutes, the house was secured and everyone was in the sitting room while the woman was making tea for everyone.

"Wow, this is awesome! We just get to chill out and those Daein soldiers are still trying to get in! What morons!" said Lenora.

"Yeah, great thing I let Stefan borrow Frederick, otherwise I'd never agree to abandoning the battlefield!"

"You know, our two teams haven't been in a battle for a while now, Boat Monkey! And Ilyana and I have been planning things. You'd better be careful, Boat Monkey!" said Marcia.

"Oh give it rest will you, Pink Poppet?" Lenora retorted.

"Ike!" Mist's voice could be heard off in the distance.

"Lenora! Soren! Gareth!" Stefan and Titania were yelling.

"Iiiike!!!" Ranulf, Titania, Lucia, and Mist were calling.

"I guess we'd better go outside…" said Soren.

"Yeah, I guess we all should." replied Lenora.

"Okay!" Ike stupidly replied.

"What the-your tea's ready! Hey!" the woman called after the Crimean Liberators who were hastily leaving the house. Lenora eyed a savior scroll and swiped it.

"There you are!" said Titania as the group came out.

"Here's 'Frederick'." said Stefan as he gave Frederick back to Ike.

"We managed to fight off the Daein soldiers," Lucia was saying, "and it looks like you were right, after all."

"Ha! HAH!!! I told you so!" Ike laughed and pointed to Lucia, who looked quite weirded-out and a bit taken aback again.

"You are a strange person." she said.

"You're damn right!" Ike replied. Titania slapped her forehead. Lenora shook her head. Soren rolled his eyes. Boyd giggled. Mist looked at Ike admiringly. Shinon scowled. Bastian looked slightly confused and nearly laughed lightly. Stefan smiled. Mia laughed a bit. Elincia giggled.

"Elincia, when did you get here?!" Ike and Lucia said at the same time. They both gave each other an evil glare.

"Just now! Tee-hee-hee!" she giggled again. Ike looked to the south and his heart turned over.

I see the Black Knight… I've got to deal with him on my own. No screaming. I've got to face him alone. I've got Frederick, my tap-dancing skills, and my regal sword. Let's get this fight started. Ike looked calm on the outside, and he said, "I'm going to take a stroll." and so then he walked without listening to anyone's questions. Inside of him, his thoughts raged with fright, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH DEAR ASHERA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH, THE FRIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH, THE TRAUMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But Ike solemnly walked to meet the Black Knight.

"Why appear now?" Ike asked the Black Knight when he approached him, "Do you mean to tell me you purposely waited until the battle was over?

"Hmph. I know how your mind works. I assumed you would attack the moment you saw me. But perhaps you've learned to judge the importance of time and place."

"To a mercenary, nothing's more important than the contract between him and his employer."

"Shall we call off our contest then? When you die here, you'll be in breach of contact after all."

"That's not a problem. All I have to do is win... Ready yourself!"

"Hmph."

"Right then, bring it on, bitch!" and so Ike then started tap-dancing. "I now know how to dance-fight, golem king! Can you top that?" The Black Knight replied by swinging his sword at Ike. "Hah! You're so slow!" Ike taunted. He then slashed and stabbed at the Black Knight.

"You're not as overly clumsy as I had feared. It is regrettable that your weapon is so poorly made." the Black Knight remarked.

"Why do my attacks have no effect?!"

"My armor is blessed by the goddess. Only weapons that are also blessed can so much as scratch it."

"Grrr... So common weaponry is useless? Is that it? How about this?" then Ike got out Frederick.

"…"

"What the fuck?! Why is it that you and Petrine aren't scared of Frederick?! Dear Ashera!"

"You should not worry about such trivialities. You possess the sacred blade Ragnell, do you not?" Ike then began tap-dancing. But the Black Knight continued talking, "Ragnell is the counterpart to my blade, Alondite. Tell me you were not idiot enough to leave it in that place." Ike began to curse like crazy. "You took it with you, did you not? Along with your father's corpse?"

"That...that sword? The one you threw to my father like an act of charity? The one he refused? That's Ragnell?" Ike asked, amazed.

"I claim victory today. When next we meet, bring Ragnell. Without the proper weapon, I grow bored."

"…Shit." Ike cursed as the Black Knight teleported. Ike's thoughts: SHIT-DAMMITDAMNSHITOHMYGOSHWHYTHEFUCKDIDN'THEGETSCAREDSHITTYINEEDTOSTARTUPANACCOUNTONYOUTUBEANDPUTAVIDEOOFTHEBLACKKNIGHTDOINGTHEROBOTDANCEANDTHENACTINGLIKEACLASSCLOWNANDSHARKYLITTERALLYNEEDSTOGETALIFEIMEANSERIOUSLYDAMNIDIOTWHO'SSOOBSESSEDWITHCAJUNSEAFOODANDISAWAPURPLESIDEWALKTHATWASGREENANDITHADWHEELSONITANDISERIOUSLYNEEDTOSHUTTHEFUCKUPANDJUSTSTOPCURSINGTHESHITOUTOF…IDON'TKNOWANDFUCKED-UPMOTHERFUCKINGDAMNSHITTYFAGGOTYSHIT-HEADEDDIPSHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, hopefully you all liked this chapter. I think it was slightly boring because I couldn't really think of much to put in this chapter but on the next chapter I'll think harder.