Notes: And first semester ends here! New students arrive next chapter.

I also apologise to any law students out there for butchering the judicial system with Takara's trial.

Part XXV

"The court is now in session. Order!" Holy Roman Empire declared loudly as he stood on a stool in the courtroom. Switzerland, Belgium, and Tibet entered the room in black robes – well, Switzerland and Belgium did. Tibet was wearing his Buddhist monk robes as always. "All rise for the honourable Vash Zwingli, Belgium, and Tibet presiding."

"Be seated," Vash snapped as soon as he had reached his seat. All three of them bowed slightly before seating themselves. Tibet was in meditative calm, as always, turning a level eye at the defendant.

Takara sat nervously in her seat, the Aura of Smooth phial hidden in her coat pocket as usual. Francis was acting as her defence attorney, and he regarded her with obvious disdain. She fought down the urge to cry.

"The defendant stands accused of high treason against this Academy – helping known enemies of this Academy to refuge, employing illegal means to bend officials at this Academy to her will, causing distress to students and Staff alike with the internment camps and secret police, and generally acting like a Mary Sue," Holy Roman Empire read, looking up and glaring at Takara.

"How do you plead?" Belgium asked.

"Not guilty due to insanity and influence from outside factors – namely, the Mary Sue," Francis said immediately, his face expressionless. His eyes, however, glinted harshly at Takara as he spoke.

"And what does the prosecution say to this?" Vash asked, looking over at Workbitch and Florance.

"Your honour," Workbitch said immediately, "Miss Takara acted out of her own free will. Mary Sues are the Multiverse's biggest supplier of Aura of Smooth. She must have agreed to help the Mary Sue in return for the Aura of Smooth – which, I may add, is a forbidden substance here."

The jury started whispering amongst themselves. Takara's right hand slipped into her coat pocket, fingering the phial.

"Call up the first witness," Tibet said serenely.

Holy Roman Empire frowned, looking at the list. Finally, he called, "Mr. Allen!" at the top of his voice, and Mr. Allen got up and walked to the witness stand.

The Platonic Love final was probably the only test that everyone studied for. As Merka would say afterwards, they studied only because "Alfred and Artie blackmailed us into it by being so damn adorable".

"How do you think you did?" Kriss asked as they left the classroom to go to lunch. Outside, the world was covered in white. Inside, Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanza decorations hung everywhere. The Nations had chosen to be politically correct, so they had decorated for all three holidays. However, they were only holding a Christmas party, which was scheduled for the twenty-fourth. Today was the sixteenth.

"Not bad," Merka said, shrugging as she took her seat at the North American table. "Protest's tomorrow! I can't wait!"

"I've got the signs ready," Hotaru added. "We'll take them with us to the Geography finals tomorrow and from there we just head directly to the Staff Section, correct?"

"Yes," Merka said. "Now shush, I need to study for Mythology finals."

Eva Danielson walked by with her Mythology textbook, looking slightly disgruntled. "What's the difference between the Leanan Sídhe and the Bean Sídhe?" she asked loudly.

"One of them is a muse and the other's a banshee," Emmanuella Escatara called from her table.

"The Bean Sídhe is uglier, since she's the banshee," Mitsuki Horenake added. "The Leanan Sídhe inspires poets and artists and takes them as her lovers – but they die young."

"Okay, what about… can anyone tell me what the Wolpertinger is?"

"It's like Ludwig's idea of Flying Mint Bunny," Kiri Olaveja replied. "It's basically a rabbit with antlers and wings. The American Jackalope was probably inspired by it, and it's like the Thuringian Rasselbock and Swedish Skvader."

"Cool story, bro. Um, what do the Dryad, the Kodama, the Ghillie Dhu, and the Waldgeist have in common?"

"They're all guardians of trees and the forest in general," Tori Troutman said immediately. "The Dryad is Greek, the Kodama is Japanese, the Ghillie Dhu is Scottish, and the Waldgeist is German."

Eva frowned. "Fine. What's the significance of Gog and Magog?"

That got some people quiet. "Er, I think they're mentioned in just about everything," Franklin Livingston answered. "Like… they're in the Hebrew Bible, and they're part of Christian, Jewish, and Islamic tradition. They're also in English, Irish, and Greek mythology, and mentioned in Napoleon's Russian invasion, Alexander the Great's conquests, and Marco Polo's travels."

"They're also the names of two china dogs in Anne of Ingleside," Sara Parker pointed out helpfully. "Don't ask me how I know."

"Well, Anne of Ingleside's Canadian…" Merka suggested, grinning wickedly.

"Mr. Allen, can you state, in your own words, what happened to you between now and Monday, 22 November?" Workbitch was doing the interrogation, watching Mr. Allen's every fidget.

"Well, that goes back for a while," Mr. Allen mumbled, looking thoughtful as he leaned against the witness stand. "I remember ordering the investigation that Monday, and then I went to check on Florance's supply check. When I was at the hospital wing, I couldn't help but notice that Takara was looking very nice that day."

"And then what happened? When did you start falling for her?"

"Somewhere along the lines of that Wednesday," Mr. Allen replied, looking at the jury. There were twelve jury members – Liechtenstein, Ukraine, Belarus, Poland, Lithuania, Germania-Sword, Mongolia, Vietnam, Thailand, Taiwan, Hong Kong, and Canada. All of them (except Germania-Sword, who lacked opposable thumbs – well, fingers in general) were taking notes, scrutinising him as they went. Mr. Allen coughed slightly. "I don't remember events as sharply as Mr. Hugh remembers them, since he was the direct recipient of Miss Takara's affections. All I know is that somehow, we started acting according to her wishes."

"Can you give us any specific actions that she influenced?"

"Well, originally I wasn't going to order the imprisonment of the non-human students. She said something about Mary Sues being inhuman, and I seemed to have misinterpreted that."

"So you admit that you acted under her influence?" Workbitch asked.

"Yes, well, at least for most of this," Mr. Allen replied.

"Any questions, Mr. Bonnefois?" Belgium asked. Francis, who had been instructing Rose Kirkland (Arthur's genderbent counterpart was the court reporter) on the proper way to spell his name, looked up and nodded.

"Yes, uh… Mr. Allen." The Frenchman winked at Rose and stood up. "Did Takara always look confident during your time together, or has she sometimes expressed fear and uncertainty?"

"Yes, usually at night," Mr. Allen replied.

"Are you aware that Aura of Smooth is ineffective at night?"

"Yes."

"So, are you aware that the Takara you see at night is the true Takara, without influence by Aura of Smooth?"

"Yes."

"Do you think that a fearful, uncertain Takara is likely to have caused all of this?"

Mr. Allen shrugged. "I don't know."

"You don't know? Do you admit, then, that your relationship with her has been more physical than emotional?"

"Pretty much, I'm afraid," Mr. Allen replied.

Takara watched Mr. Allen answer the rest of Francis's questions. Physical. It was true; their relationship had been physical. Still, the way he readily agreed broke her heart. Now he was testifying against her in court.

"Can you give me, specifically, one instance where you caught her in a vulnerable state?"

"There was this one time on a Tuesday evening when I heard her crying. She was talking to herself."

Francis smirked. "Do you know why she talks to herself?"

"No."

The Mythology final took place rather smoothly, considering that Denmark burst in halfway through, yelling something about a trial and that Norway should go watch.

"I'll watch the trial later," Norway snapped, not even looking up from the desk. "I've got a test to proctor, and they won't be reading the verdict until night-time."

"A trial?" Rachael Wilkison demanded, looking up from her test.

"Nothing to worry yourself about," Norway said immediately.

"Really? I'd think that a trial for the person who helped the Mary Sue escape is relevant to student interests," Denmark pointed out. That caused most students to look up eagerly.

"They caught the Mary Sue's helper?" Tori Troutman demanded.

"Yes, she's being tried," Norway replied, glaring at Denmark.

"I hope they convict her!" Lydia whispered anxiously. She had shadows under her eyes from nights when she couldn't sleep out of worry about those others in the internment camps – and about the possibility of her being next.

"Well, obviously you haven't read the Bled Chronicles," asserted Franklin. "She's definitely going to be convicted."

"Not everyone agrees with the Bled Chronicles, you know," Denmark pointed out. "That's one of the consequences of a free press – people are bound to think he's bullshitting."

"I don't think he'd bullshit about something this serious," Norway replied calmly. "Now please get out of my classroom so the students can take their exams."

Denmark complied, grumbling something about Norway being a 'stick in the snowball' as he went.

"Call up the next witness," Vash barked, so Holy Roman Empire squinted at his list accordingly.

"The court calls Clara Bartan to the witness stand," he said after a moment.

Clara walked up to the witness stand, her eyes downcast. She refused to make eye contact with Takara as she passed.

"Raise your right hand. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?" Holy Roman Empire asked.

"I do," Clara replied primly. As she took her spot at the witness stand, Workbitch stood up again.

"Can you describe in your own words, Ms. Bartan, what happened to you between now and Monday, 22 November?" the secretary-turned-attorney asked imperiously, placing both hands on his hips.

"Strange… interruptions in my thought process," the nurse replied. "It happened every time I was around Takara. I would inexplicably lose my train of thought and begin to think about her. Everything had to be about her."

"Did you have suspicions regarding this phenomenon, or did you just brush it off?"

"I tried to pretend like it was completely natural, but I thought about her behaviour later… and I never really had any solid hypotheses, but I did consider possession."

"Have you ever seen any phials of some sort of liquid in her possession?"

"I might have seen a little one occasionally that she takes with her everywhere she goes, but I thought that it was just some… sort of religious artefact or something. You know, like holy water or something."

Takara looked at her hands, curling and uncurling them experimentally. Once again, her conscience was browbeating her. Confess. Confess, you Mary Sue.

"No," she muttered to herself.

You'll be found guilty anyways. Why don't you just testify against yourself or something and clear your conscience while you're at it?

"No!"

"Does the defendant have an objection?" Belgium asked calmly.

"Er…" Takara blushed, wanting to sink into the ground. "Um, not an objection, your Honour."

"Then what is it?" Belgium had the air of an annoyed parent whose child kept on asking the same question.

"I would like to offer a confession to the court." Takara had blurted it out before she knew what was going on and suddenly all eyes were on her.

"A confession?" echoed Belgium. "Are you sure about this?"

Takara nodded. There was no way out of it, was there? Now that everyone was looking…

"Ms. Bartan, you may leave," Vash said immediately. "The court now calls Takara to the witness stand."

"They didn't finish the trial yesterday," Merka reported right before the Geography finals. "In fact, they had to pause it before the defendant went to the witness stand, because Alfred and Ivan interrupted with a snowball fight."

The others stared. They had been caught up with all the drama that they forgot about Alfred and Ivan's tendencies to turn serious moments into steaming piles of … fail.

"A snowball fight?" echoed Yuki-rin. "You're being serious, right?"

"Absolutely cereal," Merka replied, flinging some Cheerios at Kriss. Several people facepalmed.

"You're too punny," Kriss deadpanned as she brushed Cherrios off her shirt. Merka grinned.

Elisabeta chose that moment to appear with the exams in her arms. Everyone watched her open the door and enter the classroom, followed by her Mochis.

"Gilbert and Roderich are not here today because they're too busy watching the trial," the Hungarian woman explained as she reached the podium. "So I've got twice as many Mochis prowling about. And as you all know, Hungry is always hungry for fangirls." She patted her fattest Mochi; it gave a loud and extremely rude belch. "That's my hungry Hungry," Elisabeta cooed.

"Disturbing little bugger," Kriss muttered. Almost as if it could hear her, Hungry glared at her.

"So," Elisabeta continued. "Today we're taking our Geography final! I expect you to be capable of naming all the countries on this map," she held up a map, "that the arrows point to."

The students breathed a sigh of relief – not even the Nerds could name every country on the map. There were, at most, one hundred and ninety-five of them, after all. And South Sudan was about to become the one hundred and ninety-sixth.

"And then I expect you to answer this giant matching section, this giant multiple-choice section, and these ten short-response questions. Nothing less than a paragraph for each will be accepted."

The students started worrying again. Elisabeta smirked, handing out the tests. Everyone in the back immediately started cramming; everyone at the front immediately started praying.

"Put your notes away, people in the back," Elisabeta called as she handed out the last tests. "Good luck – judging by your panicked expressions, you'll need it."

And with that she swept down to her desk and took her seat, grinning evilly.

"Miss Takara, state your confession," Vash Zwingli snapped, glaring at her.

Takara shuffled her feet, looking out at the rest of the audience. "I did it," she said after a moment of staring. "I was the one who helped the Mary Sue."

Murmurs ran through the crowd. "Order in the court!" snapped Vash, banging the gavel.

"Yes, I was the one who helped the Mary Sue," Takara stated, blinking back tears, "who is better known as Alexandra Bonnefoy. She gave me a phial of Aura of Smooth in return for my help, and what could I do? I was desperate, your Honour, I wanted Mr. Hugh to pay attention to me for once."

The audience looked at each other, but dared not say anything lest they incur the wrath of Vash. Takara bit her lower lip, sniffling.

"So in a way, I consider myself guilty for… for taking the Aura and using it for my benefit only. But you also have to notice that I was manipulated into taking the Aura in the first place. Dealing with a Mary Sue means being influenced by her Aura. I… I regret what I've done… the damage…"

"Please, stop waxing melodramatic," Vash groaned, "and provide us with statements that we can match the evidence against."

"I think this is all the proof you'll need, then," Takara said, pulling the phial of Aura of Smooth. "This is the Aura of Smooth that I used on myself to make myself appealing, and here –" she pulled out a folder, "are the blood tests I ran on myself last week, after the article was published."

Workbitch took the phial and the folder from her and looked. "Litmus paper, Florance?" he asked, and Florance dipped a strip of light blue paper into the phial.

"Aura of Smooth," the nurse reported, holding up the now-sparkly-pink paper.

Workbitch was already rifling through the folders. "Your Glitter Levels have gone from 69 to 371?" he asked, frowning at the statistics. Francis snickered at the numbers, but a glare from Vash was enough to get him to shut up.

"If you want, you can cut open my arm and look at the Glitter," Takara retorted.

"No, that won't be necessary," Workbitch replied. "But all of this seems to match with our case, then. Your testimony that you did it to ensnare Mr. Hugh, your possession of the Aura of Smooth, and your Glitter Levels all point to your… 'Sueification. That, in turn, explains your sudden influence over Mr. Hugh and other side effects of your… transformation."

"Do you mean to say," Florance added, "that you led us all on a wild goose chase just so that you could sleep with Mr. Hugh? Taytay, you should've just told us." As if in agreement, the entire audience pulled a facepalm. Except Germania-Sword, since he didn't have a face or a palm.

"How could I tell? All of you had relegated me as little more than cannon fodder in the hospital wing. I would've been laughed at for having a crush on the Course Coordinator."

"Who knows, Taytay?" Florance crossed her arms and sighed. "Judges, jury, you have the evidence."

Tibet nodded. "Yes, yes. Jury members. If you believe that Takara should be acquitted of her charges, then return the not guilty verdict. If you believe that she should be convicted of all charges, then return the guilty verdict. Please do your duty to this school."

The jury members looked at each other and filed out of the room.

The students gathered at the end of the test and marched down to the Staff Section, their banners and signs flying high. "Release our peers!" they chanted, as Kriss led several others along the side to look for another entrance into the Staff Section.

"The protest's starting!" Shinbun-kun exclaimed, taking Mary Seacull's hand and dragging her to the entrance.

"Come on!" Mary called to the other nurses who weren't at the trial.

"Release the students!" Janice cheered, although she turned into a blob halfway out the door. Picardy cackled and ran past her into the crowd, taking pictures and waving his own sign.

The Mochis looked at each other, and seemed to decide to go on strike as well. For what was probably first time in recorded Official Fanfiction University history, students swarmed the Staff Section in protest.

Meanwhile, Kriss and her fellow lurkers had ran into the Bled Pinjas. "Yeh lookin' fer a way t' th' 'ternment camps?" Pirate Arthur drawled, causing Kriss's knees to weaken. She nodded, blushing furiously.

Ninja Kiku quickly gave them directions in Japanese, causing the lurkers who knew the language to scramble to write the translated instructions on their arms. When the two of them walked off high-fiving each other (one of the 'newfangled' expressions they had picked up from Alfred), the lurkers looked at each other and jumped through the nearest open window.

They landed in a hallway right before a giant crack. "That's the shortcut?" Anastasia Debby hissed.

"Well, it's a rather gravity-reliant shortcut," Kriss pointed out. "Shall we find an elevator, then?"

"No, the instructions say to jump into this crack because it leads to Auchwits," Summer Elizabeth Smith said, looking at her hand. "And then we… turn… east or something like that…"

"North. It's due north of Auchwits," Franklin Livingston reminded.

"Shush, there's something coming," Kriss whispered.

There came the clatter of hooves, but nothing appeared.

"I think it's one of England's friends," Scylla whispered.

"Quick, jump!" Summer exclaimed, as the hooves picked up speed.

"But… what's there?" Anastasia demanded.

"An invisible unicorn that will gut you if you don't jump, damnit!" Kriss snapped, pushing everyone into the abyss.

The unicorn barely missed her.

The sounds of protest could be heard from the courtroom, and Takara's heart raced.

"The court will now come to order," Belgium instructed as the jury filed in, taking their seats without looking at Takara. "The jury will now give their verdict."

The noises of revolt neared, and Takara only half-listened to the jury – they were condemning her. She heard their voices as if they were underwater, as if she was in a nightmare and on the verge of waking up.

"Takara, this court hereby convicts you on all charges and condemns you to death –"

"Your Honour, may I suggest a different punishment?" Florance interrupted suddenly. Vash goggled at her, his hand halfway to the gavel.

"And why would you suggest this?" the Swiss man asked suspiciously.

"She is guilty of all charges, yes, but you also have to take into account her original case. She claimed innocence on the grounds of insanity and deception. Mary Sues deal in deception, your Honour, and since Takara was acting partly under the influence of Alexandra Bonnefoy, I do not believe she deserves death for being stupid."

"So, then what do you propose?" Belgium asked.

"Deportation to the Protectors of the Plot Continuum Headquarters, where she will be sent through personality dialysis and No-Drool video therapy." At that, several of the looser Nations cringed. No-Drool videos were infamous – and effective. After Arthur had forced Francis to watch one in early September, the Frenchman had found it harder to… perform. "And if you're unsure, look at the Nations that shudder in horror at the prospect of No-Drool videos. Personality dialysis, especially for Mary Sues, is ten times worse. I think this punishment doesn't let her off easily."

"But she can be tempted to betray secrets for love again," Vash snapped.

"Fangirl therapy at the PPC is extremely effective," Florance replied calmly. "And besides, removing Takara from the picture does not remove the threat of a Mary Sue attack. The damage has been done. We hospital staff will need all the assistance we can get if they do attack, and killing a nurse or a doctor is like shooting yourself in the foot – and there won't be anyone to bandage said foot afterwards."

Vash heaved a sigh. "Very well. I see your reasoning, Ms. Nightingail." He turned to Takara. "This court hereby sentences you to deportation to the Protectors of the Plot Continuum headquarters for No-Drool video therapy and personality dialysis."

Bang. The gavel slammed down, the sound echoing through the courtroom. Takara struggled to keep down tears, but her eyes suddenly widened in fear as the doors to the courtroom burst open and students, Staff members, and Mochis swarmed in, brandishing signs and screaming abuse at her.

"Down with the 'Sue!" they yelled. "Down with the 'Sue!"

"It's turned into a mob," Francis breathed, as the Mochis stacked on top of each other, all of them glaring at Takara as if ready to blob her. "This protest has turned into a mob."

"Nurse Takara! Where are our classmates?" A girl screamed. "Where have you taken them, you heartless Mary Sue?"

Takara shook her head, covering her face with her hands as the tears started falling. "Quickly, we have to get her out of here before the mob tears her apart; I think someone stole Ukraine's pitchfork," Workbitch was saying to Florance, nodding his head in Takara's direction.

"Liberté! Egalité! Fraternité!" French Revolution Francis howled in anger, waving the French tricolour wildly. "Bring out the enemy of the Academy! Off with her head!"

"In a place of justice? No!" Vash jumped onto the table, pistol aimed for Francis. "This courtroom shall see no violence!"

"If you shoot, you'll be a hypocrite, Vash," Belgium snapped. Tibet was meditating, as usual.

Mr. Allen looked over at Takara, seeing her tear-streaked face vanish out a side door. Florance and Clara were rushing her away, and he would eventually fetch his Document of Character Deportation and use it for the first time –

"Off with her head! Off with her head!" The mob screamed, looking wildly for Takara in the courtroom. Mr. Allen left the room as people overturned desks and chairs and Rose Kirkland screamed about her records being tossed about in a paper war that seemed to be starting –

And then Alfred and Ivan returned with more snowballs, and all order was thrown out the window.

"It's got to be here, somewhere," Kriss hissed, peering around a corner. There seemed to be no Mochis in sight. They rounded the corner and saw a door.

"In here," Scylla whispered, walking up to the door. It was locked. "Goddamn it!"

"Shush, let me read the instructions," Summer exclaimed, squinting at her hand in the dimly lit passageway. "The door unlocks with... a password." She looked up. "That is so Harry Potter."

"Any clues about the password?" Kriss demanded.

"Well, not from Ninja Kiku. But my gut says it's something Hetalia-related."

"All right... so what are we supposed to yell? Francis is a pervert? Alfred is the Hero? Kiku has no emotions? What?"

"Unicorn! Uh, panjandrum! Pub, pub, pub and go! Fish and chips!"

"Am I Catholic or Protestant?"

"Dumbledora the Explorer!"

"Holy Roman Empire, it's Flying Mint Bunny!"

"Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?"

"Yes, no, we're out of bananas!"

"Herr Shtick!"

"Just open, damn you!" Kriss kicked the door and glared at the doorknob as if it was insulting her. "Fuckin' Open Sesame! Alohomora!"

"We should've asked Laurel Martin to come along!" Scylla complained.

"I have an idea," Summer said suddenly, looking at her hand. "Ninja Kiku must have planned out the instructions!"

"And how is that an idea?" Franklin demanded.

"Well, just read it!" Summer thrust her hand out, and the other gathered around and tried to read the instructions.

My instructions never fail to get people to their destinations, you know. Here are my tips to get to this camp.

After diving in through that window, jump down the abyss that follows right after. It takes you to Auchwits.

Right hands are sometimes wrong. Face the opposite wall and turn left; it'll take you east of Auchwits.

Underneath the sign that points to Auchwits, you will see something carved into the wood. It points right. Go right.

Kay, now turn left. Irrelevant instruction is irrelevant.

After turning around in three circles, you might get a desire to kill me.

I really have no other advice other than going on in the same direction. Left.

Turn right again, and keep on going. Touch your toes occasionally, yes?

England's giving me the Look. I might have to speed this up. Sorry.

Cameras are everywhere down here. Check to make sure you're not being followed.

Hop over the little abyss within an abyss. Take care not to fall.

If someone falls, they'll just end up at the nudist beach. Don't worry too much.

Kawaii, desu ne? Yes, I am making fun of you weaboos. Get used to it.

You should probably be at a corner by now. The camp is just up ahead.

Ugh, now turn right one more time.

Unlock that door with a password. Congratulations.

"Wait a moment; is this how he presented it? It was all going over my head," Kriss whispered.

"Yeah, he said 'put this in a new line' in between each instruction," Summer whispered back.

"Look what it spells out," Anastasia Debby exclaimed. "Marukaite Chikyuu!"

"But whose?" Franklin wondered.

"Probably the first one – North Italy's," Scylla reasoned. "All right, on the count of three, then?" Everyone nodded. "One, two, three!"

"Nee nee papa, wain choudai! Nee nee mama, nee nee mama! Mukashi ne tabeta boroneeze no, ano aji ga wasurerarenainda! Marukaite chikyuu, marukaite chikyuu, marukaite chikyuu, boku Hetalia! Marukaite chikyuu, jitto mite chikyuu, hyotto shite chikyuu, boku Hetalia! Aa, hitofude de, mieru subarashii sekai! Nagagutsu de kanpai da, Hetalia!" the students sang. Some were slightly sharp, others were slightly flat, and Franklin Livingston was obviously tone deaf.

Nevertheless, it opened the door…

"Wait, what?" Kriss exclaimed.

There were no half-unicorns, vampires, aliens, ninjas, Shadow demons, mermaids, cat-girls, brigades, or students who knew too much anywhere in sight. Instead, sitting in the cells were McCarthy era Alfred, Spanish Inquisition Antonio, and the secret police.

"What happened? Where did you take them?" Anastasia demanded, walking up to McCarthy era Alfred's cell and rattling the bars.

"Don't do that!" the American snapped irritably, twitching. "They're gone."

"Gone!" echoed Kriss.

"Yes. They have been pardoned," Kempeitai Kiku stated calmly from his cell. "No need to worry."

"Pardoned!" exclaimed Scylla.

"But we were going to rescue them!" Summer complained.

"They should be returned to the student section by now," KGB Ivan chipped in from his cell.

Franklin, who had been doing a quick head count, frowned suddenly. "Wait a moment. Where are DGSE Francis and CIA Alfred?"

"With the alien," MI6 Arthur replied bitterly. "Learning how to copy papers, I suspect."

Kriss burst into giggles. "This," she snickered, "is such an anticlimactic moment. I can't believe we fell down an abyss, followed an insane ninja's instructions, and sang Marukaite Chikyuu… just to see this. It's too much."

"I don't see what's so fucking funny about it," Mafia Lovino grumbled.

"I don't think you need to," Anastasia muttered. "Shall we go, then?"

"Yeah, let's see if we can find an elevator out of this," Kriss grumbled. Together, the students left the room.

"Megan! You're back!" Andrew Ho exclaimed, spinning the alien girl right round, baby right round.

"Andrew, you ho," Megan snickered. "Glad to see you, too."

"Where's Lucia?" Taylor Drews-Garcia asked.

"At the swimming pool."

"Wait, we have a swimming pool? Since when!"

Megan snickered. "It's a hidden swimming pool. That's the point."

Merka snickered, but she sobered moments after. "Does anyone know what happened to Takara? I think I saw her in the courtroom during the protest – which seems to have been a success."

"Well, I think she's hooked up to a dialysis machine right now, screaming in pain as the machine violently removes Glitter from her bloodstream," a deadpan voice cut in.

"Jennifer!" Merka squealed. "How are you?"

"More fabulous than Feliks in a pink dress, yourself?" Jennifer broke out into a smile, hugging the other fangirl. "Everything's fine, I hope?"

"Kriss still hasn't returned from the Staff Section; I hope the Mochis haven't gotten to her…"

"No, I'm right here," Kriss's voice cut in. "You won't believe the shit that went down in our rescue plan. And it's all your fault," she added, directing the last part at the returned students.

"It's the thought that counts," Azure pointed out with a grin.

"I suppose," Kriss said with a shrug, before smiling at Merka and hugging her. The USUK fangirl looked taken back for a millisecond before hugging the Asakiku fangirl back, grinning into her shoulder.

"So, how did you guys get pardoned before we got to you?" Scylla asked Megan and Jennifer.

"Workbitch came down and issued the apology statement for Mr. Allen; Mr. Allen was busy deporting Takara," Megan replied. She paused for a moment. "What was that thing he told you, Jennifoos, before he let us to the elevators?"

Jennifer immediately turned scarlet. "Not telling you," she replied, crossing her arms.

"Come on!" Megan begged.

"Definitely not telling," Jennifer huffed, sticking her nose in the air.

"Fine, be that way, bitch," Megan grumbled, crossing her arms and turning away.

Jennifer rolled her eyes. "He just said for me to meet him at the entrance to the Staff Section after the Christmas party; is that all right with you?" she snapped, the colour of her face rivalling that of the camellias that were currently by her bedside.

Red camellias are a symbol of passion and fire. Meet me after the Christmas party; I have something to say.

–W.B.

"Never again," Arthur Kirkland sighed as the remnants of the courtroom were cleared up. "Never, ever – never bloody fucking ever again."

"You sound cheerful," Mr. Allen commented sarcastically as he walked past the Briton and banged the gavel on the judge's table. "All of you Staff members. I have something to say."

"Say it, then," Francis Bonnefois replied, pausing in his file ordering to look up.

"I am extremely sorry," Mr. Allen said, "for all of the trouble that this has brought you. If it helps, I can turn in a resignation as Course Coordinator –"

"Don't even think about it," Gilbert Beilschmidt cut in. "That's totally not awesome. You've been an awesome Course Coordinator."

"That's nice of you to say, but this was an extreme mistake on my part, to have succumbed to the wiles of a Mary Sue."

"She had all of us for a moment there," Antonio Carriedo reasoned. "It's not your fault."

"Yes, but the point is that I should have been first to notice."

"You're technically one of us," Yekaterina Braginskaya pointed out. "Frankly, I'm not surprised."

"I'm still sorry," Mr. Allen replied, crossing his arms. "Really. I compromised the security that I was supposed to safeguard. An error of this degree –"

"Look, if we want to keep you as our Course Coordinator, then you're staying as our Course Coordinator," Roderich Edelstein snapped. "How much clearer do we have to make it? You. Are. Staying."

Mr. Allen huffed and glared at them. "Fine, then. I'll stay."

"Good," Arthur growled. "We were dreading having to tie you up."

"I don't think you were dreading it, l'Angleterre," Francis whispered, causing others to snicker.

"You pervert! I bet you were anticipating it!" Arthur's face was bright red. "Bloody frog!"

"Can we not fight, please?" Liechtenstein called. Francis and Arthur obeyed, surprisingly.

"Thank you, Liechtenstein," sighed Mr. Allen. "Anyways, I would also like to point out the following about Mary Sues – hopefully, with this new experience with one, you all have discovered their power over us, right?"

"That they cause brain damage, sure," Alfred F. Jones said with a grin. Some of the other nations exchanged looks that clearly said 'and you still seem to be affected by it'.

"Yes, that, but did you also notice that Takara's story was no different from the tale of a Mary Sue and her creator? A Mary Sue is an idealised version of an author. Takara played both Sue and Suethor in that sense. She… had a crush on me… and made herself perfect in order to get me to notice her." Mr. Allen's eyes were grave. "This is the same with just about any other Mary Sue. An author uses a Mary Sue for vicarious living."

The Nations looked at each other, nodding.

"So… I think that… we need to remember Takara's mistakes, then. She wanted to make herself perfect just so she could… get to her Lust Object. She did, bringing our security down around our ears as she did so." Mr. Allen sighed. "Just… remember her mistakes."

Then he left the room, blue eyes downcast.

END SEMESTER ONE