25 - Facing the enemy (the weirdest conversation, ever!)
When they finally made it back to the house in Haruka's car, Michiru was silently and nervously holding her hands in her lap.
In the back seat was an equally nervous Jadeite, and a somewhat annoyed Rei.
"Why am I here, again?" the black haired woman asked, eying her new boyfriend.
"'Cause if I'm going down, he's going down with me" the blonde woman answered her, smiling evilly at her brother "It's his fault, anyway" she mumbled.
Jadeite gulped, giving Rei an apologetic smile. She simply rolled her eyes at him, and got out of the car.
They entered the house, and found a brunette young woman sitting on the couch, looking back at them with a pleading expression on her pretty face.
In front of her, on another couch, was an elder woman, probably around her late forties. She had light green eyes, and light brown hair, reaching her shoulders.
"Oh, here they are!" Makoto exclaimed "So, I'll leave you with them, I have to get going" she made her way to the door, and before getting out of the house, she went to her blonde roommate "Please, keep her out of my kitchen!" she hissed.
The blonde smiled innocently at her, before walking up to the elder woman, who was now standing up and hugging Jadeite.
So Haruka took Michiru's hand in hers, giving her an encouraging smile, and they both walked up to them.
"Is this that girlfriend of yours?" her mother was asking, smiling at the now lovingly smiling Rei "Oh, it's so great to meet you!" she exclaimed, hugging the black haired woman "Finally! Someone's been able to get him down to earth!"
"Thank you, Mrs. Tenoh" Rei said, a little embarrassed over the show of affection, but still amused over the last comment.
"Oh, please, call me Akiko!" the woman exclaimed "And welcome to the family!"
Haruka couldn't help but chuckled at the surprised expression on her friend's face. And by doing that, she got her mother's attention to herself, and she gulped.
"Hi, mom" she said.
"Oh, Haruka, baby!" the woman exclaimed, now hugging her daughter in a strong embrace.
But then she looked at her, frowning "What on earth are you wearing this time?" she demanded, looking her up and down, and clearly disapproving the blonde's old, loosely jeans "Where do you get those things, honey? You really need to go shopping..."
"What's wrong with my pants?" Haruka asked, frowning. But then she shook her head, and before her mother could say another word, she turned to the silent aquamarine haired beauty next to her "Mom, I'd like you to meet someone" she announced "This is Michiru Kaioh, my girlfriend"
Her mother blinked once, looking at the tall blonde young woman, and then blinked again, her eyes going to Michiru, looking her up and down.
She blinked again, now studying Rei. And then she looked at her son, and frowned, looking everything but pleased.
"You two" she said, pointing at Jadeite and Haruka "Kitchen, now" she demanded, before turning around, marching to the designated place of the house.
They looked at each other, gulping, and Haruka threw an apologetic look at her girlfriend, before following her mother's demand. Jadeite right behind her.
"What was that?" Michiru asked to Rei, frowning, and worried.
"They're so dead" Rei answered, smiling.
Jadeite and Haruka entered the kitchen, finding their mother walking in small circles, frowning, and by all means, fuming like one crazy angry old woman.
But when she saw them entering, she walked up to them, her hands on her hips "Can either of you explain to me what this is all about?" she asked.
The blonde woman blinked "Well... um... see, mom, I'm..."
"Not you!" her mother exclaimed, interrupting her. She looked at her son "I can understand you two being nice to each other, but what am I? A monster?" she asked "What did you tell to that poor girl to convince her to pose as your girlfriend?"
"What?" Jadeite asked, surprised at the accusation "She is my girlfriend!" he exclaimed.
"Don't you talk to me in that tone, I'm your mother" she said "And don't you lie to me!"
"How come she's the one coming out of the closet, but I'm the one being thrown into the fire here!" he demanded, frustrated.
"Oh, please!" Mrs. Tenoh exclaimed "I knew she was going to come out of her little 'I like men' phase sooner or later..."
"What?" the blonde woman asked, green eyes wide open, and surprised out of her shoes.
She blinked then, not really knowing how to respond to that one...
Her mother smiled at her "Oh, baby, you thought I didn't know?" she asked, cupping her cheek "I mean, with the way you always acted and dressed, and how you never had a serious steady boyfriend, and you never liked men when you were younger..."
"I had a boyfriend!" she defended herself.
And then she frowned.
Why was she defending herself, again?
She had just told her mother she had a girlfriend, expecting her to go ballistic on her. Instead, her mother was taking it lightly, humorously even!
This argument was making its way up to the top ten weirdest conversations she ever had, strongly fighting the number one place with that one conversation she had with her grandmother when she was a teenage girl, and the lovely old lady had tried to explain to her the benefits of always using a condom...
"I thought the whole lesbian thing was suppose to be a phase..." Jadeite mumbled, frowning.
"Oh, well, it's Haruka we're talking about" Mrs. Tenoh said, smiling "She got it all backwards..." she waved her hand in the air, as to make her point clear.
Again, the tall young woman blinked.
"Should I be offended here?" she asked, blinking again "Wait, so you... you knew?"
"Oh, sweetie, I'm your mother!" Mrs. Tenoh exclaimed "Of course I knew! The same way I know you're crazy about that girl, because of that ridiculous puppy love look on your face!" she pointed out "Just like I know you didn't take a shower this morning, with that messy hair of yours looking like..."
"Mom!" Haruka exclaimed, interrupting her, a hand going through her blonde hair "Geez! I'm not a child!" she complained.
Mrs. Tenoh looked at her, but then she decided not to answer that one last comment.
Instead, she looked at the silent, surprised looking Jadeite.
"Now, explain to me this whole girlfriend plot of yours" she demanded "Did you really think I was going to go all crazy on your sister here, that you made up a girlfriend just to help her out?"
"Hey, I'm not that nice, ok!" Jadeite exclaimed, palms up in the air. But the irony of that one accusation made him smiled.
Mrs. Tenoh blinked at that, and then she frowned "So it's true?" she asked "You both have a significant other now?"
Jadeite and Haruka looked at each other, and then back at their mother, nodding their heads. And then their mother surprised them both by throwing herself to hug them, jumping like an excited school girl.
"Oh, this is so wonderful!" she exclaimed, now making her way out of the kitchen.
The siblings looked at each other, frowning, and slightly worried about their mother's -sadly common- weir behavior.
So they followed after her, finding her hugging Michiru closely.
"You're such a lovely young lady!" she was saying to the aquamarine haired woman.
"Than... thank you, ma'am" Michiru stuttered, surprised at the sudden change on the elder woman's mood, and looking at her girlfriend with a questioning look.
"Ma'am?" she asked, looking at her "What am I? Old?" she rolled her eyes at the aquamarine haired beauty "Just called me Akiko! And you absolutely have to come to lunch at my house next weekend!" she exclaimed.
"Mom" Haruka called out to her, taking her girlfriend out of the crazy woman's embrace "Please don't scare her away"
Mrs. Tenoh ignored her daughter's comment, and turned back to the black haired woman, now hugging her.
"And you have to come too!" she exclaimed, looking at her and smiling happily "So, tell me, when are you two love birds going to make me a granny?"
"What?" Rei asked, almost yelling, and going white.
Michiru giggled, Jadeite blushed, and Haruka just laughed.
Just for the record, I DID have a weird conversation with my grandmother about condoms. We were in the middle of the supermarket, and she suddenly stopped right in front of the condoms, asking me which brand was the best one. And then she started telling me how I should never take it in the butt unless I wanted to! *blink!* (WTF!) I just stood there, blushing deeply, saying "Right, grams, you wanted chocolate cookies, remember?"
She's a weird, crazy woman! (maybe it runs in the family....)