Finally! Chapter 26 is done, so I can now post this chapter without freaking out too badly. Writer's block was pretty bad on this one; personally, this is the only chapter that I've come close to saying I've hated. It's been rewritten more times then I care to count and I've nearly scrapped it-even only a few moments ago. I hate it, but it does everything I want it to do…I can't explain it. Anywho, I hope it's ok, but I feel it just isn't up to my usually. If true, please be gentle-the next chapter is better, though almost as hard to write. But the end is in sight, thank God! Thank you all for being patience. And especially for your kind reviews, there about all that have got me through this, that and a few times of beating my head against the wall, that helps too. (smile). Thanks again, and let me know what you think. (stands behind a large rock, readying the white flag)
Miss Elizabeth Blakeney
Chapter 25: Can't the Universe Give Us a Break?
It took a further two weeks before Obi-Wan's immune system grew strong enough to fight off infections, forcing the Healers to keep him for longer then they intended. By the end of the last week, the boy had driven every single one of the adults around him nuts, with the exception of his master. Qui-Gon, in fact, had found the entire thing extremely entertaining and refused to miss a single minute of it. Even Master Yoda had been forced to grudgingly admit that the boy had tried his limitless patience.
None of them could truly blame him, however. He had now gained enough new memories, both good and bad, to understand when he was comfortable in a place or not. He hated being cooped up in the room for so long and let everyone know it. Plus, he wanted to see something familiar. His own rooms, his own bed; and to spend time with his master. Ever since their talk, he had slowly been able to come to an emotional understanding of what had transpired and had been able to rid himself of the guilt he had been battling. Nothing was perfect, but everything seemed to be better then it had in awhile.
In fact, the only dark point of the two weeks had been Saasha's attempts to talk Qui-Gon into giving up on the recovery of Apprentice Kenobi's memories. The healers had found nothing that gave them a bit of hope for his recovery. When the famous Jedi had mentioned this to his former master, the eldest Jedi said nothing, just nodded his head and walked off towards the Healer's offices. After that, Saasha said nothing more about the subject, though when Qui-Gon pressed, she mentioned that it merely was not the proper time and that only after Kenobi's release would they attempt to bring it up again.
Finally, the young Padawan was set free, and he and his master could make the wonderful trek back to their quarters. After several tense minutes, they had breached their front door and made their way into the unknown territory. They had been away for so long, Qui-Gon wondered if he would even remember that it was his rooms. However, Obi-Wan evidently remembered, as he took a running leap and landed firmly on the sofa. Qui-Gon watched as his innocent smile faded; he could almost see the vague memories consolidate and Obi-Wan remember he was too old to do such things. Before more damage could be done, he smiled at his student.
"Someone's happy to be home." Brilliant blue eyes met his own, and then lit up with a smile.
The healers gave them a couple of days to get resituated in their quarters before sending a gentle, but firm reminder to Qui-Gon that the presence of him and his Padawan was needed at the discussion concerning Obi-Wan's memory loss. Truthfully, the Knight dreaded the meeting. He knew what news they had for him. Every one of the healers had told him they held little hope in the beginning for Obi-Wan's recovery, and that hope dwindled daily. Even Saasha had told him a mere day ago that she did not think Obi-Wan's memories were even a part of him any longer. They had seen the recording of his wipe, and knew from studies back on Phindar that no one had ever been wiped for so long a time. But, the Jedi could not give up. His thoughts always drew back to the first night, when he knew his student was in danger. He remembered the agony in his heart at the thought of what his student would become. While some of his worse fears had yet to be realized, he was still forced to watch his brilliant student live out each day as a young, confused boy. It hurt him to watch Obi-Wan's limited knowledge scream at him that something was wrong and see the horrible realization in the blue eyes that there was nothing he could do to make it better.
As the dreaded day dawned, Qui-Gon was puttering around his kitchenette, fixing a calming pot of tea for himself while peeling some fruit for his student for breakfast. Neither were too keen to be around large groups of people today, so they had opted for the quiet solitude of their rooms. The Master sat down on the couch with a soft sigh, his steaming tea balanced precariously beside his elbow. He had been up since way before dawn, having found little sleep the previous night. He knew he should wake Obi-Wan soon, but he was loathed to break the first night of unbroken sleep the boy had had…since the incident. His head fell into his large hands, and a sense of defeat caused his proud shoulders to slump. So much had happened in too short a time, and he found himself adrift in a sea of chaos around him. There had not been time for in depth meditation, as his time was spent with his Padawan; there had been no time to just sit and acknowledge the changes in his life, as his attention was constantly needed. He had not allowed himself to truly grieve.
"Q-Qui-Gon?" The famed Jedi Master shot his head up, and looked at his apprentice, standing in the doorway in his sleep pants, his pillow being dragged along behind him.
"Good morning, young one. You slept well?" A hesitant nod, before the boy sat down beside his master. He hugged the pillow to his chest as his blue eyes stared unseeing at a spot on the carpet. He jumped slightly as a powerful hand rested gently on his back. His head fell on to the muscular shoulder as his eyelids fell to cover his frightened stare. Another hand traveled gently through his hair, calloused fingers running gently through the sleep-tossed mane.
And there they sat, the two of them as the world moved frantically around them. For a few minutes, no cares, no worries could crept into their quiet little corner of the universe. No disjointed thoughts, no guilt, no confusion, no fear; there was only the two of them and all seemed right with the world.
Four hours later, everything had changed. No longer were the two comfortable with their surroundings. Now, they were in a small room, painted a –in their opinion-horrid color, waiting for members of the Council and Healers to come and tell the young apprentice of his fate. It had been several minutes since the boy had sat in his own chair beside his master. Now he huddled in the older Jedi's lap, shivering slightly from the fear and unknown weighting down on him. Mace and Adi were the first to arrive, giving the boy a little more grounding. He smiled slightly at both of them, but refused to let go of Qui-Gon. All three Jedi were forcibly reminded of the trip back from Phindar; it seemed so long ago, yet only a couple months. None of them were sure if it was the recent incident with Xanatos or the knowledge that soon his hopes would either be strengthened or crushed that had caused this relapse, though Adi figured it was a bit of both. All too soon, Master Yoda, Healer Saasha, and various other healers and council members flooded into the room. Obi-Wan acknowledged few of them, only Yoda and Saasha were given the privilege of meeting the frightened boy's eyes.
"Honored to have an esteemed doctor from Phindar, we are. Dr. Teedra Phin, this is. Studied mind-wipe victims, he has. In communication, we have been. Glad to have him with us, we are; though wish circumstances could be different, we do." With a nod from the diminutive Jedi Master, the long-armed doctor stood up and bowed in acknowledgement of the introduction.
"Thank you, Master Yoda. It has been an honor to work with the Jedi and their Healers, though I echo Master Yoda's wish that the circumstance were not what they are. I apologize to both you and Obi-Wan, Master Jinn. I only just arrived, barely made this meeting. Healer Saasha has kept me informed of young Kenobi's condition; the information she had provided has been compared with my notes. After the first case of complete retrieval of wiped memory, which was Teera, the sister of the new mayors, Paaxi and Guerra. I believe you were there, were you not, Master Jinn?" Steady, deep blue eyes rose to consider the figure speaking to him, before the head fell once in a quick nod. His arms wrapped tighter around his Padawan, as the boy's breathing became erratic for a moment before leveling off. Qui-Gon sent a brief wave of calm into the panicked mind, before turning his attention once more to the one doctor on whom all their hopes were pinned. "We have seen a success rate of nearly eighty percent with the treatment we have come up with based on witnesses' statements from this instance. In layman's terms, we use a type of virtual reality to trick the mind into believing the body has been fatally wounded. This releases a 'jumble' of chemicals, some of which seem to 'unlock' or 'recover' the memories. We are still not truly sure why this works, but we believe this to be the only cure. There are however, considerations…"
"I say there are!" Obi-Wan jumped as the voice of his master almost assaulted his ears. He could hear the fear and…yes, anger his master was attempting to let go of as he addressed the Phindian doctor. "You say you'll 'trick' his mind into believing he is dying? What if you can't convince it that he is not dying once his memories return? If the mind believes it is dead, it could kill him!" Mace's hand, rested on his arm in an attempt to cause the worried master, was shrugged off immediately. "My apprentice has gone through hell since his memories were…taken. He has been through too much, how much more of this do you think he can take? I refuse to make him face one more thing he is not ready for…"
"And what if he is never ready, Master Jinn? It is true Padawan Kenobi has gone through a difficult time, but it is partially because of the mind-wipe it has been so bad. Do you wish to deny him the chance to live again? Or do you selfishly wish to condemn him to a useless life?" Dark blue eyes snapped until it seemed blue fire, one of the hottest parts of a flame, raged in them.
"Obi-Wan has never and will never be useless! He has relearned faster then anyone of us thought possible. I want him to have his memories back more then almost anyone in this room; but I will not risk his life to do so!"
"There is a risk, but is it not worth it for the chance to have a whole student?"
"How many people have made it? Truthfully? And how many of them had complete recovery of their memories?" The doctor hesitated, then shuffled his notes. The look in his gold-flecked eyes said plainly he did not want to answer this question.
"There have been relatively few casualties…out of 100 people, maybe…10 or so were unable to be revived. As for memory recovery…that depends on the length of time of the mind-wipe and other variables. The earliest victims show little recovery, mostly because the use of the droid evolved over the course of time. Later victims, show a better recovery, although…not all experience complete recovery."
"How many?"
"Master Jedi, the number is unimportant. You have to understand this is an opportunity you can not…"
"How many?" This time, the words shot out like a whip, cracking close to the nervous doctor, silencing his litany completely.
Obi-Wan clung desperately to his master's tunic. Qui-Gon was angry, and it was about him. Not at him, as Obi-Wan had fearfully thought at the beginning, but at the…situation. The young boy could also feel that it was fear that drove this anger. Fear of the loss of his student, fear that the treatment would not work, or worse would only bring back a little-enough to tease and taunt, but not enough to bring Obi-Wan back. The young Jedi was not sure he understood everything his master was worried about, but he did understand that as much as his master wanted Obi-Wan to have his memories, he was not willing to risk his life. But, hadn't Master Yoda said that he had tried to be a Jedi and had not completely been one because he did not remember how. The whole situation with…the dark man could have been circumvented if he had known what he was suppose to…so, wasn't it best to try?
He suddenly realized that silence had settled on the room while Qui-Gon and the doctor staged a battle of wills. The doctor was the first to give in. Bowing his head, he mumbled something that sounded like 'half'.
"We didn't quite catch that."
"Barely half of the Phindians showed significant recovery. Out of those, subsequent testing showed that less then a third had what could be termed 'complete recovery'. But, Jedi Masters, this is your only hope. If the treatment does not take place, that boy will never regain his memories." Blue eyes, that had only seconds before had blazed with indignation, closed, hiding the dulled depths-dulled because the spark of hope was gone.