Cara

Caleb and I hadn't had the apartment to ourselves in ages, which wasn't great for the intimacy level of our brand new relationship. So when Tris leaves for NOVA later in the evening, Caleb wastes no time in taking advantage of the blatant alone time.

He hasn't stopped kissing me since the door swung shut behind her.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't enjoying it but I can't help but feel a little guilty.

"Caleb—" I manage to get out between kisses. Any other word I attempt gets muffled by his lips.

"Caleb—" I try again.

He finally pulls away, one hand reaching up to touch my hair.

"What? What could possibly be so important right now?" He says a trace of a whine in his voice.

"I'm sorry…I just…I feel a little guilty."

His eyebrows furrow almost instantly.

"My kisses inspire guilt? Well that…that's not what I had in mind."

I shake my head quickly.

"No, no that isn't what I meant. I just mean, should we really be doing this? Everyone that I love is marching off to battle the day after tomorrow."

"All the more reason to make-out constantly."

"Caleb, I'm serious."

He lets out a frustrated noise and then leans his forehead against my shoulder for a moment.

"So am I."

"Caleb—"
"No. I am. I'm completely serious. I don't know if I'll ever get a moment like this with you again, so I am going to use it while I can."

He's right.

I know he is, so why do I feel guilty?

Maybe it's not guilt.

Maybe it's fear.

I am terrified to let him go off and march into the darkness that is Marcus Eaton's world but I know that I don't have a choice.

I'm worried he won't come back to me in one piece.

Or that he won't come back to me at all.

"Hey…" He brushes a hand across my cheek.

"What is it? Your entire facial expression just changed."

I shake my head a little bit.

"I just…I want to be selfish and tell you not to go, but I know that you have to."

He takes my hand and squeezes it tightly and then brings it up to his chest.

"I'm going to be fine. You know that, don't you?"

That was the thing.

No one was ever fine in these situations.

I nod anyway, because either way he still has to go.

"What can I do to calm you down?"

I close my eyes.

"Give me the ability to walk so that I can go with you."

He pulls my head to his lips and kisses my forehead.

"You know if I could do that, I would've done it six months ago."

I lean my head back against the couch.

I know that's true.

Caleb had been my number one supporter in operation: 'Get Cara to Walk Again.'

My physical therapy sessions had sort of lost their appeal as of late which didn't make my number one supporter very happy.

I'm not amped to work on recovery without Max, not that there had been very much improvement apart from learning to stand anyway.

The pain in my legs is getting increasingly worse and Max always said that that was a good thing but I was too afraid to attempt actual steps just yet.

I didn't want to get my hopes up just to fall right back down again.

"What?" Caleb presses me. "You got really quiet which usually means your brain is drifting somewhere that it shouldn't be."

I shake my head a little.

"Nothing…I was just thinking about the pain in my legs. It's worse and Max always said I should try walking when it gets that bad."

"So why aren't you trying?"

I shrug a little.

"Because it doesn't really matter, either way, I still won't be strong or stable enough to go with you guys."

"It isn't about the battle, Cara." Caleb says, seriously.

"It's about you walking in general. Don't you want to?"

I look up at him with wide eyes.

"Of course I do!"

"Then what's stopping you?"

"I…I don't know." I chew on my bottom lip for a few moments.

"Yes, you do. You're afraid of failing."

To an extent, I'm sure he's right but the terror that goes through me at the thought of actually taking a step just isn't worth it.

"Come on, try with me." He says standing up, holding a hand out towards me.

"I'm right here. I won't let you fall and it doesn't matter to me if you fail. It only matters that you try."

I stare at his hand for a moment and then I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

I have made it through a fire, a miscarriage, kidnapping, torture, and a bullet to the spine that almost killed me.

I can handle taking a step.

Or I can at least handle trying.

I place my hand in his and pull myself up using all the techniques I'd learned in physical therapy.

I have to use my back for support and it's always a strange feeling at first.

"You okay?" Caleb asks.

I nod slowly, the shooting pains up and down my legs are bad, but I'm used to it.

I feel it almost all of the time.

"Ready?" He presses and I nod slowly.

He takes my other hand, holding them both tightly so that I won't fall.

I flash back to the day in the hospital when my the doctor who removed my bullet informed that I was paralyzed.

I laid there for hours just trying to will one of my legs to move, but it was like trying to will yourself to fly.

My brain didn't send messages to my legs anymore.

The two just weren't connected.

This time will be different.

It has to be.

I take a deep breath and then I slowly attempt to lift my foot. The pain is worse, but it's working.

My foot is about a half an inch from the ground and shaking uncontrollably but this is more than I've been able to do in months.

I set my foot back down about a half an inch from where it started.

A step.

I just took a step.

Caleb is smiling at me so wide that I think his face might explode.

"Cara…" He breathes.

My eyes instantly blur with tears and his smile swims in front of me.

"I know, I know…"

I take a deep breath because the simple step had taken a lot out of me.

"Caleb…" I breathe.

"Yeah?"

"Catch me." I whisper and then all at once my legs start to shake and I fall into his arms without really meaning to.

He catches me just like I'd asked but that doesn't stop me from apologizing.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry they just gave out, I don't know what—"

I don't get to finish my apology before his lips are crushed against mine.

He kisses me for a long time, his lips moving seamlessly against mine.

After what feels like hours, he pulls away, still grinning.

"If something happens to me…I'm really glad that I at least got to see that. You're amazing, Cara."

I shrug my shoulders just a little.

"I'm not that amazing. I couldn't have done it without you." I watch him for a moment wondering if this is one of the last times I will see his face just the way that is now.

Perfect, unscarred and so, so alive.

"Caleb—" I start, but it's almost like he reads my mind. He puts his arm underneath my legs and sweeps me up into his arms.

"I'm taking you to bed."

I smile, shaking my head a little.

"It's barely eight."

"I'm aware of that; we're not going to bed to sleep."

I raise my eyebrows at him but he just smiles a little.

"All I want is to be with you every second of the next twenty four hours, okay?"

"I love you, Caleb Prior." I whisper

He carries me to the bedroom without another word.

Savannah

I watch as Miss Monica tries to help Tris focus her ability.

It isn't going well at all.

Tris hasn't even been able to move a pencil.

She lets out a groan as the plastic ball she's trying to move across the room rolls over and then pops.

"I don't know what I'm doing!" She cries in frustration.

"Hey, it's okay." I cut in and her head turns towards me for a moment.

"You just have to calm down. You're way too hyped up. Think of your ability like a second self. If you're hyped up, you're ability is going to be haywire too. Make sense?"

Miss Monica smiles at me and then looks over at Tris.

"Savannah is right. You're ability is heavily connected to your emotions."

Tris closes her eyes for a moment and then takes a deep breath.

"I need to take a break." She mumbles before walking towards the door and then out of the room.

Uriah watches her go for a moment and then he turns to me.

"I don't think she's handling this whole leadership thing very well."

I shrug a little.

"Her husband is possibly being tortured into hating her so…I think we should cut her some slack."

Miss Monica moves towards Gabe, and she starts talking to him in low voices about focusing his anger.

I watch them for awhile, until Uriah's voice pulls me out of my reverie.

"Do you want to go for a walk? I don't particularly like being around when Gabe is working on his fire power."

I smile a little.

"Sure."

I follow him out of the door and we walk together along the hallway before I lead him up a few flights of stairs to the roof.

This is Gabe's favorite place to come when he's upset, but for me it's more of a happy place.

I feel free when I'm on the roof.

I lean against the railing surrounding the rooftop and revel in the cool air as it blows through my hair.

Uriah stands behind me his hands falling to my waist.

I'm too busy staring out at the city that I barely hear Uriah when he speaks again.

"This must be really weird for you."

I turn around to face him for a moment.

"What must be weird for me?"

He places a kiss on my forehead before answering me and the warmth that spreads through me is almost indescribable.

"Dealing with all of this…You weren't a part of any of it. You weren't even in the faction system."

I smile a little, and then I shrug.

"Max always said that we were training for a reason and maybe this is that reason. I just want to help people. What good is having these abilities if they just go to waste?"

He doesn't respond for a long moment and then when he finally does it's not in correlation with what I've said.

"Zeke doesn't want me to go."

It takes me a moment to catch on to his train of thought.

"…To Marcus' headquarters?" I question.

He nods a little bit.

"He just loves you, Uriah. You have no idea how much. You haven't felt it." I say, my hands squeezing the railing behind me.

"He doesn't want you to get hurt."

He nods

"Yeah, I know that, but I have to go. These are my friends, my family. How can I let them go off on this insane mission without me?"

I shrug a little.

"You won't." I reach for his hand squeezing a tiny amount.

"It's not who you are, but it's okay for Zeke to worry about you. It's a sibling thing."

"Well, he approves of you, you know."

I smile, trying to hide the blush creeping up my cheeks.

"Oh?"

"Yeah, and it takes a lot for him to approve of his little brother's girlfriend so—"

"What?" I look up at him, my fingers losing their grip on his hand.

He raises his eyebrows at me.

"What…?"

I shake my head slowly.

"You said girlfriend." I say in a quiet voice.

"Oh. That." He nods a little.

"Yeah, I did."

I stare at him for a moment and then tilt my head.

I can sense the nerves coming off him in waves and it mixes with my own making me feel extra jittery.

He stares back at me for a moment and then he opens his mouth to speak again.

"…do you want to be my girl—"

"Yes!" I exclaim instantly and then I blush heavily.

"I mean…" I shake my head, eyes on the ground as I push a strand of hair behind my ears.

I'm so embarrassing.

"Yes. I do."

He laughs a little and then throws an arm around me.

He presses his nose into my hair and his mouth to my ear.

The shiver that goes through me has nothing to do with the cool air.

-D-Day-

Tris

It is almost 9:30 in the morning and I haven't slept more than five minutes all night long. I know I should have.

I am going to need some form of sleep for the day ahead of me.

Today, everything changes.

Today, I either get my husband back or die trying.

I drag myself out of bed and into the kitchen.

Cara is already up and sitting at the kitchen table with her laptop surrounded by what looks like tiny earpieces.

I make myself oatmeal before I sit down opposite her.

She looks up from her computer for just a moment before her eyes move back to the screen.

"You look like hell." She mumbles.

"I feel like it too, so, I guess that's something." I shovel a spoonful of oatmeal into my mouth.

Caleb enters the room clad in a towel, hair still wet from the shower.

"Morning." I mumble with oatmeal still in my mouth.

"Did you sleep…like at all?" He questions.

I frown.

"Do I really look that terrible?"

"Told you." Cara says, not bothering to look up from her screen.

"What are you doing?" I ask curiously, staring at all the little earpieces.

Cara picks one up and then grabs a little round black pin next to it with her other hand.

"This…" She gestures to the pin. "…is a camera. You'll pin it to your clothes and I'll be able to see everything that's happening around you on my laptop and if I tap into headquarters correctly I'll be able to direct you how to get around through these." She holds out the earpiece towards me.

"I just need to get attached to the same server Marcus is using and it is all systems a go."

I stare at her and then the earpiece before I shake my head in astonishment.

"You came up with this in a night?"

She shrugs.

"I've been thinking about it for awhile, I just didn't really know how to go about it. Last night I just…made it work."

"This is amazing, Cara. Truly. Thank you."

She smiles and Caleb leans down to kiss the top of her head.

I finish my oatmeal at top speed a new found confidence flowing through me.

Maybe this could work.

Marcus may be smart, but I have Caleb and Cara on my team.

Maybe we could be alright.

I shower and dress by eleven and everyone arrives close to noon.

There's a strange buzz in the air as we all gather our weapons.

No one speaks and I realize it is me who is supposed to be giving the pep talk.

I clear my throat a little and everyone turns to me.

"No reckless moves. Everything goes according to plan, alright?"

My words are greeted with six head nods.

I push the shotgun into the compartment attached to my boot that Caleb made for me.

Alright, so it wasn't the longest pep talk, but I don't have much pep to be honest.

I am wearing all black today because it makes me feel strong, confident.

Dauntless.

"Tris?"

I turn around and Caleb takes my hand for a moment.

"You good?"

I nod slowly.

"I'm good."

I reply, and it is the first time in a long time that I mean it.