A/N: Amazed by the response to the last chapter. Thank you!
Chapter 25
The Final Goodbye, Part I.
The expression on Sirius's face was still frozen as if someone had snuck behind him and struck him with stupefy. Finally, he released a gust of air, visibly relaxing. "You really had me for a second," he said.
Lucy let her held breath seep slowly from her lungs; he thought she was joking.
"So your time-transcending love for me aside...?" he said, the shock making him momentarily forget his anger.
"I did it for Lily," she replied, thinking as fast as she could to cover her tracks.
Sirius raised an eyebrow.
"When she arrived in my time it was like I was given a second chance to do the right thing," she explained. "I knew I couldn't just leave her to – you know –"
He nodded slowly, accepting her answer. She couldn't just leave her to die.
"Trying to change the past is a serious offence in the wizard community," he observed grimly. "Azkaban-worthy. Surely you knew the consequences you might face when you showed her the books?"
Lucy didn't reply. She would think about what might happen to her when she had to.
"And yet you still did it?" he pushed her for an answer.
"It was killing me trying to keep it a secret," she admitted, keeping a tight lid on her jack-in-the-box of emotions that Sirius seemed intent on probing. "I couldn't ignore it when I got a second chance to help you – to help her," she corrected herself, "Lily doesn't deserve a future full of loss and betrayal – I care about her too much."
His eyes examined her in a way that made her feel internally naked.
"I'm sure Lily's grateful to you for it," he said finally. He paused for a second, as if considering his next words carefully. "Even if she doesn't know the right way to say it, I'm sure she cares a lot for you too."
Lucy wasn't sure if they were still talking about Lily.
"Who knows," he got up from his seat, a levity to his voice that had not been there before, "if things had turned out differently I might have enjoyed taking you to see my mother. The Great Banshee versus a Muggle from the Future," he stretched his hands in front of him as if picturing it in bright neon lights. "Her reaction alone would have been worth it."
Lucy remembered the conversation she'd had with the older Tom in his living room, what felt like a lifetime ago now. "Except I'm not a Muggle. My mother was a witch."
Sirius's hands fell to his sides, his momentum stolen by the new information. "You're half-blood?" he said uncertainly, his brow creasing.
"I didn't know before," she stated quickly, pre-empting the suspicion that she had kept any other secrets from him. "My uncle told me two days ago."
A strange, faraway expression started to form on his face.
She started to become worried that she had revealed one secret too far. "What is it?"
His gaze moved towards her. "Nothing," he said reflexively, before seeming to think better of his answer. "I was just thinking about something Prongs said, about you not really belonging here, being better off in the Muggle world. I suppose it doesn't really work anymore…as a witch Hogwarts would be the one place you do belong."
Lucy felt something stir inside of her and knew she would never forgive herself if she didn't say it. "I've been thinking about what you said. About it being my choice whether or not I stay..."
"James was right about one thing," Sirius interrupted before she could say anymore, "Hogwarts aside, you belong in your own time."
Lucy closed her mouth, frowning at the sudden change of direction.
"Staying here, it would be like treading water," he told her. "All the things you were supposed to experience in your future, all of the new inventions you will see, everyone you will meet," he let his words linger meaningfully for a second, "You can't give it up to stay with people who might not even be around in a few years."
"What about my belonging at Hogwarts?"
"Unless it all really breaks beyond repair, I rather think Hogwarts will still around in your time, even if the rest of us aren't. No matter what happens, always remember that you tried to help us," he said firmly, walking over to where she was sat and extending a hand. "I'm going to miss you, Hamilton," he said as he pulled her to stand in front of him. The corner of his mouth quirked ever so slightly, "Even if you are the most frustratingly secretive person I've ever had the pleasure of meeting."
"It's my party trick," she replied distractedly, glancing down at their hands still entwined.
"If those books are to be believed you'll be glad you got out while you still can." Sirius's voice was low and earnest. It made her want to melt into his arms like a candle that had been lit on fire and then just forgotten about.
"In the books you would have told me to forget the rules and stay with you," she pointed out.
The corner of his mouth pulled ever so slightly upwards into his crooked grin, "Is that right?" He acknowledged what she had said with a tilt of his head. "What can I say, perhaps you've had a positive effect on me afterall?"
She closed her eyes briefly. "Why do you have to choose now to start being sensible?"
His familiar barking laugh filled her ears, and when she looked back at him she saw his handsome features feigning offense. "Are you saying I'm not the very definition of sensible? I'll have you know my sage decision making skills have been known to put even the likes of Moony to shame."
Her gaze drifted around his face to the ever-present light behind his eyes. The idea of never seeing any of it again made her heart ache more painfully than she thought it was possible to bear. Her searching eyes found his lips and found it impossible to pull them away.
He watched her, the confident smile edging from his face.
"Merlin help me," he breathed, his head unconsciously lessening the space that kept them apart. "I'm trying to do the right thing. Don't make me do something we'll both regret." Only a matter of seconds separated them from one another when a sudden interruption sent them reeling back.
"Lucy!"
When they looked over they saw that it was Lily, stood at the foot of the Head Girl's dormitory dressed in her pyjamas. Her concerned expression beckoned to Lucy to follow her back up to bed. It was already one 'o' clock in the morning.
"Caught by Lily, just like old times," Sirius quipped gently.
Lucy had to force herself to pull away from him.
"I'll see you in the morning," she said. She realised now that it didn't matter how many of these moments they shared, or how successfully she broke his willpower to stay away from her; he was never going to change his mind about her leaving, his relentless stubborness wouldn't allow it.
"Good night, Lucy," he replied, watching her leave.
.oOo.
The next morning saw a heavy curtain of fog descend over the castle, hanging as low down as if to touch the blades of dewy grass that paved the way across the grounds. It had provided a natural smoke screen around the small group as they approached the protection of the Boat House, which was particularly lucky as the hidden short-cut on the Grand Staircase had been far too crowded with milling students for them to use undetected.
Once they had reached the safety of the underground room, James, Peter and Remus stood around in a semi-circle on the opposite side to where Sirius's bike, Bertha, still lay concealed by the invisibility cloak.
Standing in the midst of his friends, Sirius draped the long chain of the Time-Turner around his and Lucy's neck.
James clapped him on the back. "Good luck, mate."
"Good luck, mate," Peter repeated, his voice unsteady.
"I'll be back before you know it," Sirius replied, making sure to maintain the carefree lilt to his voice. "Literally, in fact."
"If you aren't we'll head straight for Dumbledore," Remus promised, his hands in his pockets and his expression sombre.
"Cheers, Moony," Sirius replied. He looked to Lucy, who had not been able to look him in the eye since their conversation the previous night.
"Ready?" he asked.
"Yeah." Even now she could not let go of the possibility of remaining at Hogwarts, 27 years before her own time.
What would happen if she refused to go home? Would Dumbledore alert the Wizarding authorities? Would she end up in Azkaban too?
Her thoughts were cut short when Sirius began to twist the gold dial on the Time-Turner. It was too late to think about the alternative now. She watched the boys standing around them disappear into a blur of colour and allowed herself to be swept away from them forever.
.o.
After the familiar spinning had stopped, she squinted one eye open. The darkness outside told her that night had already fallen in this time, and they were now completely alone.
"Well that was just as uncomfortable as it looks," Sirius remarked from directly in front of her, certain that it had taken a small piece of him as recompense.
After making their way to just outside of Hogwarts boundaries, they were able to apparate to her house unseen.
Lucy forced her rigid fingers to finally unlatch from the arms of Sirius's shirt and switched on the lamp that was now sat directly next to them. They looked around the eco-lit room.
"So this is your bedroom?" Sirius appraised it with a raised eyebrow. "It's very…"
"Boring?" she offered distractedly, removing the chain from around her neck.
"I was going to say minimalist. What's that on your arm?" he asked, noticing the smear of red across her forearm.
He looked up at her face to find the source. There was a trail of blood trickling down her upper lip.
She touched it tentatively, examining the fresh streak of red on her fingertips. "Nose bleed," she realised. "Dumbledore told us the time-travel would start to have side-effects, I suppose."
"At least you never have to go through it again," he murmured.
Wiping it hastily away with a tissue from the box on her desk, she glanced out of her window. The only car on their driveway was her own. Her dad had still not returned home.
With her mother's disappearance years ago and her father still gone, she would be left completely alone in the house when Sirius went back to his time. It was an extremely lonely prospect.
Her thoughts shifted to Tom – the only family she had left in her time that she could even hope to rely on. She made the instant decision that she would ask if she could move in with him, permanently. She would drive there tonight; beg him to take her in. He surely couldn't refuse her, not when she had no one else? With her aunt -his wife- missing, they could be there for one another, keep one another company.
She thought of the seventeen year old Tom back at Hogwarts, her friend. If she had stayed they could have grown up together. The absurdity of it hit her like a punch to the gut.
"I guess this is goodbye?" she said, trying to give a nonchalant smile that hid the way it felt like her insides were being ripped to pieces.
Sirius stepped forward and pulled her to him. He held on to her with a strength that threatened to break her control over the onslaught of tears that prickled at her eyes. She knew if she let even a single one fall she would risk hysteria at the unfairness of how it had all turned out. That was not how she wanted him to remember her.
He brought his mouth to the top of her head before he pulled away.
Looking at him one last time, she tried to commit the perfect angles of his face to her memory. His eyes, a shade of grey so alive with intelligence it made her wonder how she could have ever doubted he was real, were now filled with an unrecognisable emotion she had never seen in them before. With nothing left to say, she forced herself to leave the room, leaving him to make the journey back home alone. She couldn't watch him disappear in front of her with no hope of preventing it.
As she made her way downstairs, with no one around to see, she allowed the tears to run freefall down her face.
The sound of the back door that led out to the garden opening and closing made her freeze in place, her anguish taking a temporary back seat to shock. There was someone in the kitchen.
Her father was finally back, she realised with a jolt.
Wiping the tears quickly with her sleeve, she tried to regain instant composure, peering through the swirled glass panes of the slightly ajar kitchen door. Without the lights on in there it was impossible to see. Her hand lingered on the door handle, but something made her pause.
Instead of opening the door and leaving herself completely in view of whoever it was, she slid a tentative hand through the small gap, flicking on the kitchen light. A blurred figure came into view through the textured glass. Though they were still stood over by the back door, they seemed to be looking in her direction.
She felt suddenly afraid. Even through the hazy glass she was easy to see that it was definitely not her father.
Acutely aware that Sirius was now long gone and she was alone with the intruder, she thought frantically of the wand still threaded through her belt loop, but she knew that even if she tried to use it she would not yet be skilled enough to pose any real threat.
Swallowing her fear, she pushed the door open more fully, channelling every scrap of bravery she could from the rush of adrenalin now pumping around her body.
It swung back on its hinges to reveal a woman in her mid-forties. Long, dark blonde hair surrounded her like an aura, the pale skin of her face oddly flushed. Her green-hazel eyes peered back at Lucy like a deer caught in headlights.
Lucy's mouth went dry. She looked just like her.