Chapter 25: blue blue

Manhattan, December 1, 2014

He could smell coffee brewing, and then felt hot breath on his cheek. Reese opened one eye a crack and saw Bear's furry muzzle leaning on his pillow next to his face, framed in white plastic. Seeing him stir, Bear's whole body started to wag and he was noisy, vocalizing, so happy to see Reese again. The plastic cone around Bear's head swung close to Reese's head with each wag, and he lifted his hand to keep the cone away, but smiled at Bear, saying "Braaf" and rubbing Bear's head.

Harold was coming out of the kitchen toward them, limping in a hurry, and lifting up his laptop case on his way to the door.

"Good morning, Mr. Reese. I trust you slept well. I must go to the Warehouse for the launch this morning. Bear just came from the Vet, and I'm leaving him with you today. Try not to let him eat any more books while I'm gone. Oh, and I made coffee for you and Miss Shaw. I believe the proportions were correct for the coffee and water, but I've never made coffee before. Breakfast is on the counter." And then he was out the door.

"Thanks, Harold," Reese said softly, nodding after him, toward the door. Time to get up.

He sat upright, slowly, expecting to feel a wave of lightheadedness. Not that bad, today. He looked down at his knee, still elevated on a stack of folded blankets. It was a lot less swollen, but deep purple bruising covered the skin from the inner knee down to his ankle on the right leg. It was stiff when he tried to bend the knee, but his range of motion was better today. He could bend it to almost forty five degrees before the swelling stopped it. His scalp was sore, and when he reached up, he could feel the metal staples in lines on his head.

Slowly, he pushed himself up, and then he stood up all the way. That was hard – the room started spinning and he reached out to the couch to steady himself. Bear was whimpering, standing, looking up at him with concern in his eyes.

"I'm okay, Bear. Just a little dizzy. Good boy," he said, rubbing his head under the cone. He looked down at Bear's belly, shaved from the surgery.

"Pretty banged up, aren't we, Bear," Reese said, and Bear was watching him, with his eyes bright, alert for commands. The two of them headed for the kitchen, Reese limping, and Bear catching his cone on furniture and the door frame at the kitchen opening as he walked. He tried to shake it off again, but it just thwacked back and forth and stayed on.

"Easy, buddy," Reese said, distracting him with some bacon from breakfast. The coffee was done and Reese noticed that he was hungry all of a sudden. That's right. He hadn't eaten for a few days. He flipped open the lids on the containers Harold had left on the counter to see what he'd brought. Hot food smells wafted up at him. It all looked good.

But, coffee first. He pulled down a mug from the cabinet and poured a full cup. It smelled great, and it was strong. Not bad for your first attempt, Harold, he thought. Then he scooped eggs, bacon and toast from the containers onto a paper plate. He threw a chunk of egg to Bear, who caught it in mid-flight, snapping it down in one bite. Bear looked back to Reese for more, ears up, and a smile on his muzzle.

"You made coffee?" Reese turned toward her voice. Shaw was walking into the kitchen from the hallway. Bear jumped up, crossing to her, whimpering, wagging his body, and trying to rub his head on her, but the cone was in the way. She rubbed between his shoulders on his back, and he wagged his whole body, happy to see her again, too.

"Harold made coffee for us," Reese said.

"Is it drinkable?"

"It's good. Here, have a cup." Reese reached up for another mug and poured one for her. She nodded and took it, sipping first, then drinking it down to the bottom of the mug. She was drawn by the food smells to look into the containers. She was starving this morning, and she picked up a strip of bacon and started munching it, while she made a pile of eggs, bacon, home fries and toast on a plate for herself.

Reese watched her. He liked that she liked to eat. For a little person, she could pack in a lot of food.

Reese offered a refill on the coffee, and he filled both their mugs up again. For a little while they didn't speak, while they ate their first meal in days. Then, Shaw looked up at Reese.

"What happened to Bear?" Shaw was looking at the cone and the shaved area on his belly.

"He ate another one of Harold's books at the library. It got stuck, and I had to take him to the Vet." Reese remembered just then that he was supposed to pick up Bear at the Vet, and had missed his appointment. He thought of Gelila. She must have been upset when he didn't show. He wondered if Harold had seen her, when he stopped for Bear this morning.

"Lose something?" Shaw asked him, seeing his face change.

"No, just thinking – " he said. Reese sipped more coffee, and thought about Gelila, the last time he saw her, when they had walked back from the diner, and she had looked up at him with those blue blue eyes.

He had faltered at that moment, hesitated, and he knew she had seen it in his face. He wished that he could have that moment back again for another try – but then, no. Better that he let it go. The timing was all wrong. And, what future would there be, anyway. A thought came to him, like an echo from another conversation: what was he thinking? He wasn't the kind to settle down. That's not who he was. She couldn't deal with the way he lived. She'd walk away. He'd destroy them, if they ever got together.

He looked up to Shaw. Her eyes were on him. You could never really tell what she was thinking behind those eyes. Shaw was not like anyone he had ever worked with before. There were other women he had trained with, or deployed with – like Kara Stanton. She had trained him when he first transferred into black ops in the CIA. She was ruthless, efficient, and she never questioned what they did. She followed orders. She had almost killed him on their last mission together, in China. Following orders.

Shaw was different. She was ruthless and efficient, but there was a difference. She paid attention. If the mission didn't seem right, she found a way to make it right. And, Reese knew that she had his back. He thought about Shaw with Marco. She seemed happier when she was with him. But not so much when his family was there, too. That would make it tough for them. Reese could see that Marco was a family guy, and Shaw had no patience for crowds. They brought out the worst in her. He wondered what she would do.

The kind of life they led was no life for a family. Solitary was better, at least for everyone else. It spared others from the life they had chosen for themselves. And he was used to being alone after all these years.

Still, it would be good to have someone there in the night. Someone kind, who could understand and accept. Someone who could melt him into submission with her blue blue eyes...