Trapped. That was how was feeling a week later, hospitalized by her mother with other crazy kids who did stupid things and then got sent to hospital's mental unit. Yet there was an obvious distinction between Lil and the other kids, especially if you asked her: she was normal. She was forced to communicate with drug addicts, alcoholics, out of control teens, and the ones that were suicidal. She felt definitely out of place, and felt uncomfortable with the enormous amount of food placed in front of her every day that she refused to eat.

"Miss Deville, if you keep this up we're going to have to put a feeding tube in your stomach," she was reminded on a daily basis. She was required to attend group therapy and private therapy, but during both sessions she spoke only when spoken to and did not acknowledge any questions concerning food and her diet. Nothing was progressing. She wanted Betty to realize she was wasting her money, and she wished that her father and step mom would call to check on her.

Lil wasn't on her best behavior and her therapist told her that on her third session. "Lil, you have no phone or visiting privileges because you aren't cooperating. Do you want to be here during your high school graduation?"

"I won't be here that long. I don't have anything to worry about. I'm not doing anything wrong. I haven't tried killing myself, I don't cut, and I'm definitely not doing drugs."

Dr. Bishop, Lil's therapist, sighed and leaned back in her chair. "Do you want to talk about anything today?"

Lil shook her head. "I just want you to put on the record that I want to go home."

Finally Kimi was able to disappear. Once Lil woke up, talking about her and her situation wasn't fun anymore, so the spotlight wasn't focused on her, Tommy, or Phil. Blending in was easy, especially because now a man-ho was spreading an STD and half the senior class was infected with Chlamydia. Cutting class became a sport for Kimi that she was a master at, and she decided not to tryout to cheerlead for basketball season. There was so much going on in her life that she had neither the desire nor energy to keep it up.

Meanwhile Kimi's relationships had officially deteriorated. Any lingering feelings for Tommy or Phil had been set aside, because none were showing interest in pursuing anything; not a friendship or even anything romantic. Being alone only brought Kimi closer to food, and food brought her to the toilet…only she picked up on another habit after watching these two girls cut into each other's skin from the shelter of a bathroom stall. Since giving up short sleeves was not an option that would agree with her wardrobe, Kimi gave up her skirts and cut her legs. "I accidentally did that shaving," Kimi lied to Kira when her mom noticed early into the habit.

Downwardly she was spiraling, and she needed someone to save her from herself. Sadly, no one was watching.

Lil was not going to compromise her eating habits, but she recognized that she needed to talk to someone before she did go crazy. It was her fifth session of private therapy when she finally decided to talk. She had planned on starting off slow, but eventually everything began pouring out and Lil couldn't control herself. Dr. Bishop was there with an open ear, and there was really no one that Lil honestly could confide in.

"The worst thing I've probably done was ruined my best friend's chances with the love of her life," Lil confessed to Dr. Bishop. The young, petite woman sat in her comfy, black leather chair and crossed her long slender legs. Enviously Lil kept her eyes low and on those legs, because if she looked at how tiny Dr. Bishop's waist was she would lock herself in the bathroom, purge, and suffer the repercussions later.

"What do you mean?"

"Uh…" Lil sighed, wondering how she could start it off without sounding like a total bitch. "My best friend really liked this boy and we all grew up together, but I guess I felt like she wasn't good enough…and I really liked him too. I fed him these lies that she was after my brother, but then I started feeling really guilty about it. I don't know…"

"What was going on in your life during that time?"

"My parents were arguing a lot, but I never went though a phase where I thought it was my fault. I knew it wasn't mine…but since they were breaking up I deserved something good, right?"

Dr. Bishop nodded. "I guess you can say that."

"They were arguing for years after that…that was just the beginning."

"Did their fighting bother you?"

Lil shook her head. "Not really…at least I don't think so. It's all just like this big blur, but by then I wanted them to break up. I was like in the eighth grade—yeah, because my boyfriend moved away that next summer after ninth grade."

Lil watched as Dr. Bishop wrote something down. "What happened after the divorce?"

"My dad moved to Hawaii and remarried this really young girl and my mom got fat."

"She got fat?"

Sighing, Lil explained, "She stopped taking care of herself like she used to. She was never really skinny or blond with movie star looks, but she wasn't as bad as she is now. I really lost a lot of respect for her. My dad moved on, but sometimes, years later, I can still catch her crying in her room. I can't even be around her anymore."

"Do you still see your father?"

Lil nodded. "My brother and I had spent the past summer with him and his wife. It was fun…I had this local and she sort of took me under her wing. She was really pretty with this long dark hair and this cute shape…she was sort of my inspiration for losing weight."

"Really?"

"Well we met these guys and they didn't want to talk to me. Now, I'm a really cute girl if I may say so myself, but I was a little heavy. I had been dieting, but it hadn't been too serious back then."

"What do you mean serious?"

"You're asking me a lot of questions," Lil snapped. She glanced at the clock and saw that she only had a few minutes before her session would be over. At least I got a lot of stuff off my chest. Since this stuff is supposed to be a secret I can say whatever I want.

"I'm sorry. I'm just the kind of person that wants to really get to know someone else."

"Plus it's your job to be all up in my business."

Carefully Dr. Bishop contemplated her next thought. She too noticed that time was almost out, and she wanted Lil to get the message that whenever she needed to get something off her chest she would be around. "Actually I can just sit here with you in silence and still get paid. I don't do this for the money. Lil, you must know that people do care about you. That's why you're still here, and that's why you'll be here until we feel you are ready to leave."

"Dr. Bishop, you and your people have me here for no reason. Sure I fell down the stairs. Big deal. People fall down the stairs every day. And I do not have an eating disorder. I'd know if I had an eating disorder. You're just jealous because I'm skinny and I look good as hell."

"Lil, you falling down the stairs is more serious then you're making it out to be. You fell down the stairs because you went into cardiac arrest. You were in a coma for two weeks because you are malnourished. You're not eating enough and getting the proper nutrients from your food. If your eating habits don't change Lil, you can die. Do you understand this?"

"I watch Lifetime. I know what an eating disorder is, but why should I think I have one? I'd get AIDS before I'd have an eating disorder, that's how common it is." Then Lil glanced at the clock. "Can I leave now?"

Hello, my name is Kimi Finster and I've been the victim of isolation ever since my friend fell down the stairs. It was my fault, she doesn't know that, and I feel really guilty about it. My parents are separated, my brother's off in college, and I'm all alone. That's why I'm sitting here with a bottle of sleeping pills in my hand, trying to get the nerve to end my misery. There's nothing else for me to live for it seems like. I have no more friends. The weekends aren't fun anymore. I'm supposed to be a fashionista, but I can't even wear skirts because I keep carving words into my flesh.

Kimi looked up from the scrap paper to look at Kira's prescription pills that she had hidden in the back of the kitchen cabinet in order to keep her insomnia a secret from her daughter. Her secret had been out since Kimi's fingers grazed them while she had been in search of some marshmallows when she was on a midnight binge. From the moment she brought them into her bedroom in the back of her mind Kimi knew that she wouldn't swallow the pills, yet pretending that she would brought her an overwhelming wave of comfort. She imagined chopping her hair above her shoulders. She would be lying on the ground in a locked bathroom with her goodbye note in a weak grasp, and no one would know that she was dead. However Kimi wasn't suicidal and the image was only a thought.

Earlier that day Kira announced that she wouldn't be home until late because there was a banquet for work, so freely Kimi wandered about the house in short shorts. Only about a month ago she would've invited someone to come over with her, because her mom wouldn't be there until later. In fact, maybe her best friend would've been able to join her. Tommy would've came.

"Why am I like this?" Kimi suddenly asked. Her voice cracked as she lowered her eyes to her cursive handwriting. "How did everything change so fast?" Is it hormones, or is it really me? Her eyes stung as tears broke through its barriers, and tiny droplets of water fell to the paper as if they were an automatic gun being shot off. She thought about everything and everyone. Lil. Tommy. Phil. Pete. Her breathing sped up and she violently began coughing. Feeling like she was going crazy, Kimi stood up and picked up the pills. She was going to put them back.

The silence was killing her. She needed to talk out loud, even if she would be speaking to herself. "I'm such…I'm such a bitch," she whispered. "I'm such a hypocrite. How can I call Lil my best friend after what I did to her?"

She had just made it into the kitchen when she heard the doorbell ring. "Shit," she cursed. Quickly she stuck the pills back in its place, covered it up with contents in the cabinet, and then made her way to the door. It was only until she had her hand on the knob that she looked down and noticed her "artwork." There was no nice way to describe her cuts. Every word she tried writing was a word she used to talk about herself that day. Her latest adjective: traitor.

"Just a minute!" Kimi yelled before she rushed upstairs. She managed to avoid slipping, and grabbed some pajama pants that were on her floor. Quickly she pulled them on and two-at-a-time she ran down the stairs. Without asking who it was she pulled open the door and instantly regretted it.