A/N: Wow, I got a lot of reviews for chapter 24, thank you! And don't worry about plots, the one plot I have is very thin and only really takes place near the end of the fic. The pranks and general insanity shall take place throughout the entire fic. And, I'm fairly sure that I will be writing a sequel to this story. It shall be fun.
As usual, the door to the potions class room was closed when the 5th year students gathered for their classes on Monday. They waited patiently for Snape to arrive and open the door. As it came closer to class time, the students noticed that a few of their fellow students were missing. Draco Malfoy was there, leaning against the wall by the door, but the trio wasn't to be found.
With Harry's current activities, and Ron's as well, the fifth years weren't too surprised at his absence, but Hermione's was surprising. Hermione was never late to one of her classes, even a class such as Potions.
"Seems Potter has given up and finally admitted himself to Saint Mungos," Pansy Parkinson remarked.
"Harry's not at Saint Mungos, we only saw him half an hour ago," Seamus exclaimed. The rest of the Gryffindor fifth years might not share Harry's insanity, but he was still one of them and they would defend him.
"Still enough time to be admitted," Pansy replied.
"Probably another one of his tricks," Dean said.
The sight of Snape stalking down the hall cut off the discussion. The absolute silence made Snape eye them suspiciously. Automatically he searched for Harry within the crowd, frowning when he wasn't able to find him. "Where's Potter?"
"We don't know, sir," Seamus spoke up.
"Very well." Snape didn't mind having a sane lesson, for once, so he wasn't going to make too much of a fuss. Still, he wondered what on earth Potter was up to, for he had to be up to something.
Snape flicked his wand at his classroom door, unlocking it. As he stepped forward, he didn't notice as Draco unobtrusively tapped the door with his wand. The door wouldn't open when Snape turned the doorknob, it was locked. He flicked his wand at the door once more and tried opening it again, but it still didn't work.
Snape tried every thing to get the door to open, tapping the doorknob with his wand, using all the unlocking spells that he knew, and glaring at it fiercely, but it stubbornly refused to open. The members of the Rebellion had truly done their homework, for they had found a way to lock the door so that it would only open with a password.
Finally, after several minutes of Snape cursing the door, Draco pushed himself off the wall with a sigh. "Professor, if I may?" Draco motioned to the door, making his intention clear.
"What could you possibly do?" Snape asked, backing away from the door anyway.
"You'd be surprised, Professor," Draco replied. His wand wasn't in his hand as he stepped up to the door, which surprised some people. What was he planning to do, kick the door down? There were a few snickers at his apparent insanity.
Draco knocked on the door loudly and then stepped back. There was a pause, where several fifth years exchanged glances with one another, and then a small window in the door opened. The window was only big enough for them to see green eyes staring out at them, which confused some of the students. Low, pounding music seeped out from the small window.
"Password?" Harry's voice was serious for once when he asked the question.
"Night Owl," Draco replied, using the same bored voice as Harry. The door swung open, letting Draco into the potions classroom. Unfortunately for Snape and the rest of the fifth years, the door closed before they got out of their stupor.
Snape got over his shock, however, and pounded his fist on the door. "Potter, open this door this instant."
The slat slid over to the right once again, and the same calm eyes stared out of the window. "Password?"
"Let us in, Potter." Snape glared, hoping to scare Harry enough that he would let the class in.
"Wrong password, try again," Harry replied.
"Potter," Snape growled out.
"That's not the password." Harry slid the slat closed, cutting off the rhythmic music.
Snape pounded on the door again until Harry opened the window again.
"Password?" Harry asked, as though Snape hadn't tried to enter the classroom before.
"Night Owl," Snape finally gave in and uttered the same words as Draco had said earlier.
The window was closed and Snape growled in annoyance, but the door slowly creaked open, letting the music loose once again. Snape wrenched the door open fully and stepped inside before coming to a halt in shock. This time the door didn't shut behind Snape, as it had done with Draco, and the rest of the fifth years could finally enter the potions classroom.
The only source of light in the dark room were lights of different colors flashing in time to the music. The music was fast enough, however, that the room was never truly dark, it was just kind of hard to clearly see. They could see enough that Ron, Hermione, Neville, Draco, and Luna were visible as they danced in the middle of the room, though. Harry was over by Snape's desk, flipping a bottle in a complicated pattern, he seemed to be using Snape's desk as a bar.
"Don't be so stiff, join us on the dance floor," Draco called out, since he was the only one of the Rebellion who could get away with it.
"Potter, what's going on here?" Snape thundered as he stormed up to where Harry was pouring drinks at the desk.
The Gryffindors drifted over to their fellow students and joined them in their dancing, since Snape wasn't paying attention. Draco grabbed Pansy and dragged her onto the 'dance floor,' where she reluctantly started dancing with him.
"The drinks are on the house," Harry dead-panned as he set the glass down in front of Snape.
"Why is my classroom in such a state?" Snape demanded, not even sparing the glass a glance.
"Potions Nightclub is up to codes, sir, nothing to worry about. Try your drink," Harry replied, though not with an explanation like Snape wanted.
"What is that?" Snape asked, finally looking down to the glass. Although he couldn't be sure with all of the different color lights, he thought that the liquid in the glass was an amber color. Did Potter sneak alcohol into his classroom?
"Potions is a nonalcoholic bar, sir. The special drink tonight, however, is apple juice." It took everything Harry had, but he managed to hide his amusement from Snape, still playing the nightclub owner.
"Apple juice," Snape repeated, staring at the cocktail glass.
"Liquid protection against doctors, so I'm told." Harry picked up a glass and started rubbing it with a cloth.
"Potter, why has my classroom turned into a nonalcoholic bar?" Snape asked, a dangerous gleam to his voice.
"This is a prime time and location for an establishment such as this. Apparently the residents of this area are very stressed for some reason, so a night club such as Potions is very well received by them." Harry set his current glass down and moved onto another one.
"And do you know why they are so stressed?" Snape gave Harry a sharp stare, even though he knew that it wouldn't do much good.
"I am afraid that I do not," Harry answered, pausing in his motions to listen to Snape's answer.
"The reason the students are here at this time is because I am supposed to be teaching a potions class. And the reason they are so stressed is because I am teaching this class. So, kindly turn my classroom back into a classroom." Snape hoped that Potter would listen to him just this once.
"Well, if you insist, Potions could shut down operations for the length of your class time. But, I'm afraid that I cannot allow the remodeling done to create Potions be undone." Harry stared blankly back at Snape.
"Fine, I don't have time to deal with fixing your current mess. Just shut off the music and the lights." Already a quarter of their class time was used up by the argument, and it would take too long to turn the room back into his usual classroom.
"All right." Harry pleasantly agreed, shooting a silent spell to shut off the music and the lights. The lights froze on the color that had been flashing, turning the class room a brilliant purple. The lack of music and the strange light color froze the students, as they all paused to see what was happening.
"Everyone back to their seats, now," Snape said as he turned away from Harry.
Harry slipped past Snape to sit at his usual seat, Luna joining him a few seconds later. Both the Slytherins and the Gryffindors grumbled as they sat down, having much more fun dancing than they would have in class.
"Get out your books and turn to page 352," Snape instructed. He used his index finger to slide the glass of apple juice Harry had left on the bar further away from himself while the students got their books out. "Today we will be talking about the Sage Wisdom potion, which hopefully will finally make all of you smarter for once in your life."
At the word 'sage' the lights flashed to a different color, the room now a vibrant green. Snape ignored this and continued with his lecture. At the word 'life,' however, the music started once again, still a dull roar that filled the room.
"I didn't do a thing," Harry announced before Snape could even accuse him of turning the music back on. The force of Snape's glare told him more than words ever could, so he figured that he would be better off speaking first. Besides, Hermione was the one who did the spell that used random words as keywords to turn the music on and off.
"Then why is there music interrupting my lecture?" Snape asked. At lecture, the music abruptly shut off.
"I don't hear any music?" Harry tilted his head while pretending to listen.
"That's because you just shut the music off, Potter." Another glare was sent at Harry.
"There was music?" Harry blinked in confusion.
"Now that's a classic example of a number 52 glare. The official translation is 'I am willing to dig out your intestines with a rusty spoon.'" Draco suddenly announced, leaning forward to get a better look at Snape.
"What was that, Mister Malfoy?" Snape turned his glare onto the blond Slytherin.
"Now that's a number 56, 'I am past killing you, and I'm going to keep you locked up in my potions closet for the rest of your natural life.'" Draco nodded in appreciation.
"You know, I like Malfoy better since he turned insane," Seamus commented. The music turned back on with the last word of his sentence and he froze.
"Turn that blasted music off," Snape ordered, although he wasn't quite sure who exactly he was talking to. Although, as long as the music shut off, he didn't really care.
"Say the magic word?" Harry suggested.
"Incendio?" Snape made a suggestion of his own.
"No, setting things on fire never helped anyone, at least in this case." Harry stood up and faced his classmates. "Now, class, can anyone tell me what the magic word is?"
"Please," Luna promptly answered. The music shut itself off with Harry's magic word.
"That's right, class. Please will get you anything except a chainsaw," Harry lectured.
"What are you even doing here, Miss Lovegood?" Snape asked, as he finally registered the fourth year Ravenclaw's presence.
"I'm gathering material for the Quibbler on Hogwart's newest nightclub, Potions," Luna answered.
"And what class are you missing in order to cover this fictional nightclub?" Snape asked. Both McGonagall and Flitwick would kill him if he allowed a student to miss his or her class.
"Nothing important, just Defense Against Dark Paper Cuts." Luna returned Snape's dark stare with a blank stare of her own.
"If you would return to your class, Miss Lovegood, I could finally start my lesson." Snape hoped that Potter and the rest would get the hint and allow him to teach.
"You mean you're kicking out my Potions buddy?" Harry asked, tears filling his eyes as his lips trembled.
"Miss Lovegood is not your Potions partner, Potter," Snape replied.
"She is so, she's been my Potions buddy since negative first year," Harry protested.
"Hogwarts does not have negative years, Potter." Snape turned his glare on the teen once again.
"Honestly, Harry should have been burnt to a crisp by now," Draco exclaimed.
"What about zero? Because I remember my zero year very clearly," Harry stubbornly said.
"Hogwarts only has seven years of education for a student." Snape didn't even want to think of what Harry could have made of his sentence had he left off the last three words.
"Fine, Luna's been my Potions buddy since first year," Harry changed his statement again for the third time.
"Miss Lovegood is a fourth year," Snape pointed out.
"So?" Harry stared blankly at Snape, not understanding where he was going with his statement.
"As a fourth year, there is no way that she could have been even at Hogwarts during your first year, let alone be your potions partner." Was it too much to ask for him to be able to teach his class and take off points from the Gryffindors? Apparently it was, Snape silently sighed to himself.
"In spirit, she was." Harry jabbed a finger at Snape to make his point.
"Fine, Miss Lovegood may stay for the lesson, as long as there are not any more interruptions." Snape stared at Harry, letting him know exactly who he was referring to.
"I cannot guarantee absolute silence, since you expect me to answer all of your questions incorrectly," Harry informed Snape.
"Good enough." Snape stalked back to his place by his desecrated desk to try and teach his class at last.
Chapter 25 - Potions Nightclub.