Comments are much appreciated.

Voltron season 8 broke my heart and killed me from the inside. And i am also mad that there WASN'T MUCH JAMES SCENE IN THE SEASON!

Back to story.

—Pidge's room—

Kate stared at the smaller girl in aghast. "Why am I grocery shopping with Lance?" She demanded.

"Because—," Pidge tripped on one of her wires on the floor and fell faceflat on her bed, muffling the yelp.

Kate stared at her room incredulously, god this was one hell of a mess. Everything —computers, laptops, clothes, alien magazines maybe?— was all around the place. She raised an eyebrow to the fallen girl. "Because?" She asked.

Pidge jerked her head to the raven haired girl, removing her glasses. "Because Shiro said you need to bond with him more. You know, since you guys are teammates."

Kate huffed. Is this what the old bothering, annoying, mysterious hag meant by 'fun'? "Yeah, well, he is annoying, self-centered, egotistical and completely—"

"Fun?" Pidge grinned. "And take it from me, girlfriend, you need some fun." Kate rolled her eyes. "Or, you could stay back here and tell who this 'James' guy is."

Kate jumped. "How do you..." she trailed off and grimaced. "You didn't have a dream of flying horses barfing out rainbows, did you?"

"Nope,"

She sighed. "Great," she muttered.

"He was your first kiss, huh?" She mused.

She stiffened. Oh, great, she figured that part out just by a glance of her memory. "It. Was. An. Accident." She said gritting through her teeth.

Pidge smiled at her mischievously. "Do tell~"

Kate groaned. No use holding back now. She sat down on her bed next to her and said lowly, "Well, before he found out I was a girl, we weren't in good terms with each other. He said something sensitive to me and...when he later found out what he said was a sensitive issue, he came back later to apologize...but..."

She hesitated for a heartbeat before opening her mouth to go on...

—a few years ago, garrison corridors—

It was lunch break and after stuffing herself with food, Kate took her note book and wondered around not knowing what to do. She could head to the library and learn Spanish if she wanted to, or she could go read the Russian novel she found fascinating. Or maybe she could hang out with Shiro again, if he wasn't busy.

she heard uneven footsteps, running towards her from behind and someone called her name. Kate turned and found James panting when he reached near her.

"Was...looking...all over...place," he said while panting. "Why are you so hard to...find?"

Kate's face darkened, she let some of her front bangs cover an eye. "Are you here to mock me again?" She said while glaring. "You asking for a black eye now?"

"I'm sorry," he said looking away.

She blinked. "What?"

"I didn't know you were an...orphan. I... thought— i was so mad, I just... i didn't know what went into my head..." he looked into her violet eyes. "I'm sorry." He apologized again.

This was not the kind of attention she wanted, especially not from him. Kate clicked her tongue. "Oh? So you're pitying me now?" She was slowly raising her voice. "Right after you found out that i was abandoned by one parent while the other is dead!?"

James flinched by the harshness of her tone. "I didn't know." He said lowly,

Kate snorted. "Of course you wouldn't know. No one is supposed to know me. I don't like to be pitied and i don't want to be pitied by anyone. If you didn't know, i bet you would still hold a grudge against me because you think i punched you out of a 'little' tease."

From behind James, two muscular looking guys were talking and goofing off by throwing a football to each other.

James gritted his teeth and clenched his fists. He glared at her, and she glared back. "Listen, Kogane," he snarled and stepped towards her, "I only came here to apologize, but it's clear that you don—" from behind him, one of the guys bumped into James while he was catching the ball that was tossed to him, pushing James forward. James stumbled forward, unintentionally pushing Kate to the wall behind her, and he...kissed her.

It was light but she still felt his lips, moist and warm...

She shuddered.

Both their eyes were wide open and locked into each other. Kate dropped her book in shock, all that anger that was filling in her chest a few moments ago dissolved and for a moment, just for a second before he pulled away, she would have sworn her heart stopped beating.

He still stared at her with his mouth slightly open. She too had her mouth slightly ajar, words failed both of them.

Oh, god. Oh,god. This was... her kiss was taken by a boy she barely knew. She swallowed hard.

This was too much. She couldn't gaze into his eyes anymore, her eyes shifted over his shoulder. Her thoughts came together when the two muscular goofballs gaped at them, one of them dropped the ball and it rolled off. Her cheeks burned and she planted both her hands on his chest to shove him away. "You...idiot..." she hissed. Then she fled.

James snapped from his daze. "Wha.." he looked down," Hey, Kogane! Your book!" He picked it up and shot daggers at the guy who pushed him. "Dude!"

Then he ran after her.

—present day—

"Huh," Pidge mused while Kate buried her scarlet face in one of her pillows, "You know, that is both a funny and cute story."

"It was not cute, it was humiliating." Kate said through the pillow. "And that's all I'm telling you today."

Pidge whined, but Kate hit her face with one of her pillow to silence her. Pidge shoved the pillow away," Fine, forget James for now, what are your plans with Shiro?"

"..." kate turned her back on her.

Pidge sighed. "Kate, I know about his engagement. I understand why you were so reluctant to confess to him now." She sat up, "Why didn't you tell me this before? I wouldn't have kept pressing on you."

"It's not my place to tell you this, it's his." She turned to the smaller girl. "But i still want to confess to him. When I thought he died on Kerberos, I regretted not telling him. But now i have a chance, but I'm just waiting for..." she trailed off.

Pidge placed a hand on her arm. "Girl, i know i told you this before, but no time is perfect than the present. But you and i both know he'll..."

Reject you, she wanted to say. She knew.

Kate nodded. "It's not that i feared about being rejected, i knew he wouldn't feel the same. i just want to get this off my chest and get it over with, you know. I'm just afraid that if i do confess, things might...change. I just – I don't want to lose what we have."

"Kate," she said softly, "you won't lose what you have with him, you are his friend. But please, stop avoiding him. You're just making things awkward and complicated. You don't have to be afraid."

Friend.

Afraid.

Those words led her mind into an incident she wished she never had with James...

Because it really shattered her heart...

"—you. I'm your friend!"

Kate turned and looked at him incredulously. "Is that what we are?" She scoffed.

He paused and clenched his fist. "No, you know what?" He took a step towards her. "I don't know what we are. We kiss, and then we never talk about it. You nearly died drowning with bullets in your chest, and i dived in and saved you, but we never talk about it. I promised i would keep your true gender a secret from other people even though I don't have the faintest idea why you're hiding it to begin with. So no, I've got no clue what we are. I just know I don't want to see you throw your life away!"

Kate forcefully shoved her knife in her bag. "Yeah well last time I checked, it was my life, not your personal jungle gym." She glared at him. "And this whole time, I've been secretly hanging out with the garrison's smartest kid. And it's not enough."

She picked her bag and stormed past him to the door, but he's not done.

He said harshly over his shoulder, "You know what? This isn't about Shirogane or us anymore." He turned. "This is about you needing a place to hide. Because you've been pushing people away for far too long, you're afraid to connect with us. Afraid to connect with the real world."

She halted on her tracks, his words painfully sinking into her skin like they were claws. She turned back to him and shook her head. "You don't know me, James." She snarled. "You think you do, but you don't. No one does. Not even Shiro."

He lost it. He suddenly harshly grabbed her arms and pushed her against the wall, pinning her wrists near both sides of her head. She dropped her bag and yelped by the the action. "I know you crawled inside your little shell and never came out." He said dangerously, a tone she'd never heard him use before. He daringly moved his face closer to hers, she felt his hot breath on her skin. "I know you still hide there. I know enough now you wear a thick unlikeable mask to push people away so they could never get close to know what you truly feel..." His expression softened a little. "You could be happy, Kate. You deserve to be happy. But you're afraid."

Kate just stared into his haunting blue-gray eyes. She opened her mouth and said...

"Kate?" The raven haired girl flinched ant turned her head to her. "You okay? You spaced out."

She closed her eyes. "Yeah...I'm good."

"Good, "she paused and said firmly, "now confess to Shiro."

A flat stare. "What?"

"You heard me,"

"Now!?"

"Yes, now, 'no time is perfect than the present', remember? How many times do I have to repeat this for you?" Kate opened her mouth to protest, but Pidge held a finger to stop her. "No buts, it is now or never—"

Kate's phone buzzed and she looked at the screen. "I just got a text from Lance, i have to go shopping with him now."

Pidge gave an unamused look while Kate got up. "Don't think you were saved by the bell, Kate Kogane." She warned. "As your friend, I'm not going to let this drop."

Kate laughed and yelled out, "thanks, Pidge!"

Then the door closed.