Chapter 25: Backup

…

"Should we be worried about this?"

Bruce glanced over at Tony as the two of them lay side by side on the bed, their fingers interlaced delicately. They had watched cartoons together until Steve and Bucky came back from training; they wanted to watch an old movie that was in Tony's DVD collection. The other men decided to crash in Bruce's tidy room, the room that had also quickly become Tony's room as well, and vice versa.

After what seemed like years, the doctor finally spoke. "I'm not sure yet, but we should all keep an eye on him."

Tony gently caressed the back of his boyfriend's hand with his thumb, lost in thought for a few moments before he found his voice again.

"He hasn't asked for permission since he got on the meds. Is it possible his body is getting used to the medication and causing him to feel anxious again? I mean, should we consider him dangerous?"

"And heavily armed," Bruce added in a whisper before sighing. "If his body is getting used to it, then that could be a bad thing. If he's reverting back to Hydra's Asset, then there's no point in Bucky being on the medication," Bruce paused before he spoke again. "If… he's going back to his old self, then there might not be any medication that could stop the process."

"That's a lot of 'ifs,'" Tony remarked solemnly. "Weren't the meds supposed to block those Hydra signals going to his head?"

Bruce looked over at Tony again, frustration glazing his eyes over. The two men were silent for a long time, each processing quietly. Tony brought their still connected hands to lay on his stomach.

"You have no idea what's going on with the kid, do you?" he asked in a knowing, not unkind voice.

Bruce ran his free hand through his hair now and looked helplessly over at the inventor. "My only guess is that the diazepam has stopped latching onto the receptors in his brain. Hydra must have done something to make any plan to reverse the brainwashing backfire. What they did… probably damaged a section in Bucky's head to make it impossible to cure him."

Tony swallowed hard, trying to understand the fact that helping his new friend was an impossibility. He barely registered the word 'impossible.' It just wasn't in his vocabulary. To a Stark, anything and everything was possible. He had proved that when he had made an arc reactor to stop the shrapnel from entering his heart inside that cave out of scraps years ago. It hurt him and made Tony angry that he couldn't help this ex veteran. Once again, Hydra would win.

He must have been quiet for a while because he felt Bruce nudge him gently and bring their hands up to kiss the inventor's fingers. "Talk to me, Tony. What's on your mind? I don't really like how quiet you're being. It's unlike you."

Tony looked up at Bruce and clenched his jaw. "I just want to help him," he replied, faintly.

"I know," Bruce said in a faint voice also, as if talking above a certain octave would somehow make everything that was going on a hundred times worse. "We'll get him help, even if we can't help him. Maybe Steve can get in touch with Natasha or something. Maybe she can help us."

Tony closed his eyes, feeling like he was living in a nightmare. "That's a lot of maybes."

Bruce continued to caress Tony's hand now as the two men lay side by side. Just being together somehow felt like anything was possible and that Bucky's situation might not be so hopeless after all. It was a glint of light in the darkness, and that's what both of them needed right now.

"Tell me that we'll get through this, Bruce."

"We're going to get through this, Tony," he answered without hesitation. "We'll find a way to help him."

Hearing these words seemed to put Tony at ease, if only temporarily. He relaxed a bit now and then curled into Bruce, breathing him in. Bruce, in return, turned onto his side and wrapped his arms around the other man and held him comfortingly, running his fingers through Tony's hair.

They lay like this for several minutes until there was a knock on the door. Tony sighed in exasperation and rolled onto his back, breaking the intimate moment as to not make the person on the other side of the door uncomfortable.

"Yeah, it's open…"

The door opened and they saw both Steve and Bucky walk inside hesitantly, worry laced in Steve's eyes and Bucky looking like he might have been crying earlier. His eyes were red and puffy and the sight of this made Tony's heart drop into his stomach. He and Bruce both sat up.

"What's on your minds, fellas?" Tony asked, hiding the worry in his voice.

Bucky cleared his throat and glanced over at Steve, who nodded encouragingly, before looking back at the mad scientists. "I… I'm having difficulty remembering what everything is. I'm… I'm The Winter Soldier, right? Where am I…?"

At this point, he had started pacing nervously and his face became scrunched up with confusion, his breathing becoming ragged. "I'm… the Asset a-and you're my…m-my handlers, right…?"

Bruce looked over at Steve now and stood up before he walked over to Bucky. "This is happening a lot faster than I thought it would…"

Steve suddenly grew stern. "Wait, you knew this was going to happen?"

The Winter Soldier looked between the men with fear in his eyes. "Knew w-what was going to happen?"

It was Tony's turn to walk over to the men and he knew that he couldn't let Bucky get too stressed out. Both of them were just pouring fuel on a fire. This was a disaster waiting to happen, and Tony couldn't let that happen. He knew he couldn't protect Barnes from every single bad thing, but if he had an episode here, it could hurt all of them.

"Bruce, you got this, right?" Tony asked, pointing to Steve before grabbing Bucky's arm and gently pulling him out of the room, not waiting for an answer from Bruce.

Tony led the man downstairs to his lab and over to the Asset safe area, or otherwise an area where Tony's armor and hand repulsors were nearby if he needed them to stop Barnes during an episode.

"What's going on with me, Stark?" Bucky suddenly yelled at him, taking a few steps closer to Tony, anger in his eyes. "Tell me!"

Tony swallowed now in uneasiness but kept a straight back. "You need to calm down, Barnes. No one wants you to have another episode…"

"Fuck my episodes!" He slammed his metal arm on a nearby table, putting a dent in it. "Tell me right now what's happening to my brain! Tell me right now or I swear I'll –"

Tony put his hands up in a gesture that showed he was not an enemy. "Hey, take a deep breath, Barnes… I'll tell you but you won't get any answers if you keep yelling and threatening me," He watched now as Bucky took a step back now, his face draining of anger but still looking anxious.

Tony waited a moment and took a deep breath before letting it out slowly to calm his own nerves. "Bruce and I were talking and we think that the diazepam you've been taking has stopped working. It isn't latching onto the receptors in your brain that make it possible for the medication to work."

Bucky looked down at the floor before he looked up at the man. "So… what exactly does that mean, Stark?"

Tony bit his lip and looked at Bucky with sympathetic eyes. "It means that taking your meds anymore is pointless and you're going to start acting like you were before… more anxiety, more episodes… more frustration for all involved. I'm… sorry, Barnes."

The Winter Soldier looked confused at first, and then furious. He started pacing and the whole room filled with tension as he did this for several moments. Then, without warning, he suddenly overturned the table he had put a dent in just minutes ago before he let out a loud cry of rage. Tools spilled off the table and onto the floor as the table turned over, causing a loud clatter on the flooring to echo off the room.

As all of this happened, Tony reached both one of his arms out behind him and felt the repulsors latch onto his wrist and forearm securely and quickly; this helped him feel a bit safer. "Hey, come on… take a deep breath and –"

Bucky suddenly stormed over to Tony and before he could react, he grabbed the inventor by his throat and threw him against the nearest wall. "I swear to God, Stark, if you tell me to calm down one more time, I'm going to –"

The young man didn't get to finish his sentence before he looked like he had been electrocuted. His face twisted up in pain and as a result of whatever he was feeling, he let go off Tony who fell to the floor and then scrambled over to his desk.

He watched Bucky as he writhed in pain. "NO! NO! STOP!"

Tony Stark could feel his chest ache as he watched him battle with the demons that were inside his head. Invisible monsters that only made themselves known so they could destroy things and people. The demons had a name though; they were Hydra.

He didn't know what to do or how to calm him down. He was on the cusp of turning back into The Asset, but Tony knew he had to do something.

He took a step towards him. "Bucky," he started, trying not to let his voice shake. "I know all of this is really frustrating for you and I would be angry too if I were in your shoes, but you need to fight the bastards off. They're messing with your head but you're stronger than them."

"N-No… No, I-I'm not…"

Tony took another step closer to him but Bucky put his arm out to try and stop his movements. Tony searched his face helplessly. "I just want to help you, we all do, buddy. We're going to help you get through this…"

Bucky's movements and struggling suddenly ceased, and when he looked up at Tony, his eyes were dark and terrifying. "You can't help the Asset, Stark. Not anymore…"

Tony put his hand out quickly now and The Asset threw his arm up just in time to stop the beam from the repulsor from hitting him in the chest. He stormed over to Tony now and then grabbed him around his throat with his good arm and then slammed him into the floor, causing the floor to crack from the strength of the impact.

Bucky held him tightly in place before he suddenly took his metaled arm and gripped the top part of his arc reactor threw his shirt before ripping it straight out of his chest and then crushing it in his hand to dust.

Tony could feel the life draining from him and a panic attack starting at the thought of his life support being completely gone now. He suddenly felt like he couldn't breathe. He looked up at Bucky with panic and hurt in his eyes, unable to do anything to stop all of this. He watched as The Asset stood up now and stepped on his chest.

"Bucky Barnes is no more. Bucky Barnes is eliminated, just like how Tony Stark will be soon. The mission is complete. I shall report back to Hydra once I've eliminated the rest of the Avengers," the Winter Soldier spoke almost robotically.

He wasn't sure if he was talking to himself or talking to Tony, but it didn't matter. He was about to die soon anyway and none of this would even matter. His panic attack was getting worse but he tried to keep his breathing steady even though time was running out.

If he could just hold on a bit longer, he might be able to get the extra arc reactor he had created for himself in the drawer in his work desk.

"TONY!" yelled a faint voice, or maybe it just seemed faint to him; his vision was starting to blur a bit.

He heard a lot of yelling and orders from various people and he knew what was happening. Clint, Steve, and Bruce were all in here now and trying to fend off the Winter Soldier. Well, Clint and Steve were, at least. Bruce ran over to Tony and knelt down next to him.

"Tony, oh god," he gasped immediately upon seeing that Tony's arc reactor was ripped out of his chest. "W-What should I do? Tell me, Tony… please, what can I do here?"

It was difficult not to panic while his boyfriend was in the middle of panicking too. He took a deep breath, being forced to calm himself down while chaos erupted around him. "O-Okay… go… over to my desk and open… open the third drawer down… b-backup…"

He wheezed a little bit, trying not to hyperventilate as he heard Bruce's footsteps hurry away from his body and over to the desk. Tony looked over and saw Steve looking frustrated as he attempted to fend off Bucky and Clint looking desperate as he aimed an arrow at Bucky but trying not to hit his heart or anything. They must have been desperate if Steve was going to let this happen.

"We could really use your help over here, Iron Man!" Clint yelled from his position.

"Just do it!" Steve suddenly ordered. "Shoot it! I can't stop him by myself! It'll at least slow him down!"

There was desperation in his voice and Tony felt so utterly helpless. He then flinched when he heard Clint's arrow fly through the air and then cut through Bucky. Where it went through, he didn't know, but he heard Bucky give a yell of pain and saw him stumble back a little.

"Bruce! Did you find it yet?"

"Y-Yeah, I found it. I'm coming!" He hurried back over to Tony now and knelt back down beside him before he held the reactor up in the air and looked down at him with hesitation.

He was looking pale, which also told Tony Stark that he was probably starting to look the same shade of white. He swallowed hard, fighting not to lose consciousness. "S-See the… long dangly wiry cord there? Place the end of that into the hole inside my chest, and t-the suction around it should activate and pull the rest of it in e-evenly… then you just have to use t-two fingers and press down on the sides of it once it's in…"

Bruce looked frozen in fear and he shook his head.

"B-Bruce… I really, really need you here… you can do this, okay?"

At the reassurance, the scientist nodded now and took a deep breath before going through the steps Tony had just told him. Tony felt the empty hole in his chest tighten uncomfortably for a moment just before he heard the suction kick in and then felt whole again after Bruce pressed down on the sides to lock it in firmly.

He let out a grunt and then moved onto his knees, trying to get back his senses again. "Oh God, that's so much better…"

Bruce gently placed a hand on the man's back now and then helped him get up as Steve and Clint walked over to Tony. Neither of them looked angry, but rather worried when they saw how pale Tony still was.

"You all right, Stark?" Steve asked him, glancing at Tony.

He nodded and straightened himself out before he looked over at Bucky who was looking mostly confused and in pain. "Did you knock some sense back into him?"

Clint nodded, not looking too proud. "Err… yeah, it's lodged in his shoulder, but the pain seemed to stop his episode he was having. What did you say to him that set him off?"

Stark rubbed his chest. "I was just telling him to calm down. Let's go get the arrow out of him, shall we? Bruce, bring all your doctor stuff from the kitchen."

The doctor nodded obediently and left the lab. Tony flipped the table back onto its legs and moved it over to where Bucky was now kneeling on the floor. He walked over to Bucky and looked down at him with gentle eyes. It wasn't his fault that he couldn't control the episodes; Tony felt like he had been the one that let Bucky down, if anything.

"Bruce will help take that thing out of you and then you'll be good as new."

Bucky simply nodded, not meeting his eye, as if he were ashamed of everything he had done. Tony knew he couldn't hold it against him though. It just didn't feel right anymore to blame everything on the kid. He had it rough enough, and now he was his friend.

The men waited until Bruce came back and knelt down in front of Barnes and cut the broadhead part of the arrow off with pliers and once it dropped onto the floor, he carefully took the rest of the arrow out of his shoulder and laid it on the table before tending to the wound itself.

Clint gently pulled Tony aside now out of hearing distance from Bucky and the other two men before he crossed his arms in front of his chest. "What happens now?"

Tony raised an eyebrow. "Bruce patches him up."

"I mean after he does that," Clint looked at him with hard eyes. "I mean, if what Steve told me is true, then the meds are pointless and he's going to keep having episodes again. He's a danger here to all of us."

"What do you suggest I do, Barton?" Tony asked, looking back at him. "Should I put him on Hydra's doorstep so he can be under their control again? You remember what it was like being under someone else's control, right?" He saw Clint stiffen now. "I can't do that to Barnes. He deserves better than that."

Clint sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"We need to do something."

Tony nodded now in agreement. "I have an idea. It's no mystery to anyone that Natasha was trained to be assassin. Maybe she can find some common ground with him."

Clint raised an eyebrow. "You think she can help him?"

Tony shrugged. "I don't know, but isn't it worth a shot? We don't lose anything if she tries. I would say he's hit rock bottom now… he can't sink any lower and even if he has an episode in front of her, at least we know she can defend herself."

Clint was looking clearly uncomfortable but he nodded in resignation. "I'll get in touch with her." He glanced over at Bucky before exiting the lab and heading back upstairs.

He knew that this was a decision that Steve wouldn't object to. It put Natasha in some danger, but he would make sure at least one of them was in the room at the time with the two of them, just in case. Anyway, if she could get through to Bucky somehow, maybe she could help him not feel so alone. Everyone in Avengers Tower was some kind of hero, and regardless of Bucky being a part of that experience once, it was obvious that he still felt more alone than ever.

Maybe he could find some kind of balance with her, and if he did that, then perhaps things would change for the better. They had to.