"There you are!" Jude's voice comes from behind Tommy, and he turns to see her coming out of the pub to stand beside him. Her cheeks are flushed and her hair has come loose, hanging in wild waves around her face and sticking a little to the sweat on her forehead. "I looked up and you were gone." Her words slur slightly and she takes another drink from the cup in her hand.

Jude's birthday party is a relatively small affair, maybe 20 people, just her friends and some of her other coworkers at Bobbi's pub. Tommy loves seeing Jude like this, happy and comfortable and bubbling over with excited energy. Though she hasn't mentioned it, he knows the attention and the pressure around the new album have her stressed, and he suspects that's the reason she turned down her label's offer of a bigger and fancier, but much more public, birthday party. She visibly relaxed as soon as she walked into the pub and saw all of her friends. Her smile is contagious. "Sorry," he says to Jude now. "Just needed some air."

Truthfully, it had all gotten to be a little too much, with Jude so animated and energetic and beautiful, and getting more intoxicated by the minute. She pressed herself against him as they danced to music loud enough to drown out any thoughts except the feeling of her body through the fabric of her dress under his hands. He needed fresh air and a minute to collect himself, to clear his head of the barrage of old feelings she brings out in him without fail.

Jude nods, closing her eyes and tilting her face up as a slight breeze blows towards them. "It's a nice night," she murmurs. She turns to him suddenly and frowns. "You're not drinking," she accuses.

He raises his eyebrows. "I had a couple."

"You're not drunk." She steps closer to him, close enough for him to smell the alcohol on her breath.

"You're right," he admits.

"Why?" she asks, looking genuinely surprised.

He looks at her for a moment, her flushed cheeks, her slightly unfocused eyes, and tries to gauge how clearly she'll remember this in the morning. Finally he says "Maybe I have a hard enough time keeping a clear head when I'm around you."

She takes a step closer to him, so she's right in front of him. He can feel her breath on his face, see every one of her long, dark eyelashes. "Then don't," she whispers.

His heart is pounding double time in his chest. He lifts a hand and places it on the side of her face. To close the distance, to finally kiss her after months of thinking about it, would be the easiest thing in the world. Instead, he leans in and presses a kiss to her cheek, murmuring, "Go back inside, girl." He pulls back, dropping his hand, and smiles at her as nonchalantly as he can. "It's your party. People are probably wondering where you are."

She looks a little dazed, but she nods, turning and pulling the door open again. "Are you coming?" she asks, turning back to look at him.

He smiles. "Yeah. In a minute." She goes back inside, letting the door close behind her, and he sighs heavily and leans back against the wall of the building, shutting his eyes and trying to concentrate on the feeling of the cool breeze on his face and not on the thought of Jude's mouth on his.

.

Jude is laughing as she unlocks the door to her apartment and she and Tommy walk in. "I played the entire set like that. I had no idea the stupid thing was there." she says, shaking her head.

"Jesus Christ," Tommy laughs.

"I am never wearing fake eyelashes ever again. Seriously, I'm lucky it was a pretty small gig and it wasn't being filmed or something. It would've been all over: Jude Harrison's Mustache! or some stupid shit like that."

Tommy laughs so hard he lets out a snort, and Jude hits him on the shoulder with the back of her hand. "No, no, I'm just…" he says when he manages to catch his breath "I'm sorry, I'm picturing you with a fake mustache." Jude rolls her eyes. "Like one of those curly ones," he says as they walk to her couch.

"Hey, I could pull that off," Jude jokes. "I could make it work."

He laughs loudly again as they sit down. "I'd pay to see that."

"You know what I'd pay to see? How much would it take for you to grow one?" she jokes.

"No way," he laughs, shaking his head.

"Come on, what would it take?" She bumps him with her shoulder. "There has to be something you want, Quincy, name it."

At this, his laughter dies, the anxiety that's been haunting him all weekend creeping back up. He sighs.

Jude doesn't seem to notice. "You could grow a little goatee."

"Hey," Tommy says softly. "Can we be serious for a second?"

"I am serious!" she jokes, laughing. "Does hair gel work to style mustaches or would you have to buy special mustache gel?"

"Jude," he says, more firmly. "Seriously, this is important. I have something I need to tell you, and I can't put it off anymore."

Jude's laughter stops and she raises her eyebrows. "God, Quincy. The way you said that makes it sound like you found out you've got six months to live or something." He just sighs, looking down at his hands, and Jude's eyes widen. "Oh my god," she says, sounding shocked. "Oh my god, Tommy, wha–"

He looks back up at her, surprised, cutting her off. "No, no. God no. Nothing like that." Jude relaxes with a sigh and he says "Sorry, no, it's… it's good news, actually. Really good news." Despite his words, he has a worried frown on his face, and he's fidgeting with his rings.

When he doesn't say anything else for a long moment, Jude raises her eyebrows. "If it's that you've mastered telepathy, then I have some bad news for you…"

He sighs again and finally speaks. "The songs of mine that I've recorded, the ones you helped me on, I showed them to Kwest a few months ago."

"Hey, good for you!" Jude exclaims, knowing how hard it still is for Tommy to share his music with people since the stuff with Frozen went south.

"He, uh… Without telling me, he sent the demo to some contacts of his… in A&R. My G Major contract is up in a little less than two months…" Tommy looks back at her. "I've got offers, Jude. As an artist. Solo record deal offers."

Jude's eyes widen. "You're kidding me. No way! Tommy, that's amazing!" she cries, then says, "Wait, you said 'offers', plural?"

He nods. "Three."

"Three?! Oh my God, Tommy, that's incredible! People would kill for that! I told you your music is amazing! Where from?"

"Well, the most recent one is from G Major. D found out about the other two and made me an offer."

"So you're staying at G Major?" she asks. "Staying with Darius?"

He shakes his head. "No. I thought about it, but I turned him down. I think… I don't know. I've pretty much been working for Darius since I was a kid, and I owe him a lot. I mean, in a lot of ways I owe him everything. But after all the shit that's gone down… I guess I'm just ready to get out of G Major. It's not personal, it's just that I think it's time to move on, you know?"

Jude nods. "Yeah, I totally get it. That's how I felt when I left. Where else, then?"

"One is New East, in New York City."

"New York!" she exclaims. "That's awesome!" When he doesn't say the name of the third label, just continues looking at his hands, she frowns. "Am I missing something? What's the third?"

"The other offer is from…" He takes a deep breath and looks up at her. "From Derek at Bermondsey Records."

Her eyebrows shoot up. "My label," she breathes. Her heart feels like it stops for a second. When she can breathe again she tries to recover, to be cool about this revelation. "Uh… wow, that's…" She clears her throat. "Do you know which you're going to pick? Which is a better offer?"

"Both labels are great, and the contracts are good. Actually very good, for a first solo album especially. There are little differences between them, pros and cons for each, but, uh… there's one other huge factor." He gives her a look that makes her heart jump into her throat.

"Oh?" she asks, and it comes out more than a little choked. "What's that?"

He looks away from her and seems suddenly even more nervous, wringing his hands. "I, uh… I don't really know how to say this, but in the past I've been a coward so many times when it comes to you, and I'd like to think I've learned my lesson by now, so…" he looks at her, and his earnest, vulnerable look twists her heart. "Jude, you know the deciding factor is you." Her heart skips another beat, and he continues, "Being friends again has been amazing. It's so much more than I expected, more than I deserved, and I understand why you'd say no to this but Jude, I… I have feelings for you." He gives a short laugh. "Again. Still. Always, I…" He takes a deep breath and says his next words pointedly. "If I move to London, I want to be with you. Not as friends, not anything casual, I want the real thing. Jude, I am in love with you."

She can't speak. Her pulse is pounding in her ears and it feels like there's a hand gripping her throat. There are too many feelings coursing through her, a horrible mixture of elation and fear and grief and guilt. Her eyes are locked on his, which are wide and vulnerable, almost pleading, and so blue she can't breathe.

Tommy gives another nervous laugh when the silence has gone on for far too long. "Please say something."

Tears rush into her eyes. "Tommy, I… I'm sorry, I…"

She sees his face fall, sees his heart break. "Oh," he says softly.

"I just… After last time, after…" She's crying now, the tears falling freely, and a little sob forces its way from her throat. "I'm so sorry."

"No," he says, shaking his head and trying to smile. "Jude, it's okay. I get it."

"I… Tommy I care about you, I…"

"It's okay." He nods, trying to reassure her, though she can see him swallow hard, that his hands are shaking.

"It's just that everything is finally okay again, and I can't… Jamie and I are finally okay, my career is good, I'm finally happy, and I just can't…"

"It's okay," he says again, sounding a little more like he means it, though there's still a pain in his eyes that breaks her heart. "Seriously, Jude, I get it. I understand. It's alright."

"I care about you," Jude sobs. "Tommy, I… I have feelings for you too, I do, but I just–"

"Jude." he cuts her off, saying her name gently, but firmly. "I understand. You don't have to explain. I have had a hundred chances to get it right with you, and I've messed up every one."

"Tommy, no, please don't say that. This isn't your fault, it's just that I–"

"It's okay," he says again. "I get it. We're not meant to be. We had our moment and now it's passed. That's life. I just… I needed to be honest with you if moving to London was a possibility, but I knew it was a long shot. If it's not meant to be, that's okay."

"I just–"

"You don't have to explain, girl," he says again, gently. "It's okay."

She lets out another little sob. "Tommy…" she says his name softly.

"Nothing has to change between us." She can tell he's putting all of his effort into sounding upbeat. "I'll go to New York, we'll still talk. Maybe you'll visit on tour, yeah? I can get that autograph?" He smiles at her, but the pain still in his eyes makes her cry harder. His smile falters. "Hey, please don't cry, alright? This isn't goodbye. We can be friends, Jude. It's gonna be fine."

"I don't want to hurt you, I just can't…"

"No, I'm fine," Tommy insists. "Girl, I'm okay. Promise. New York City's an amazing place, it's a great offer, I'm okay. I'm good. What we have now is good. We're going to be fine. It's no big deal. It's probably for the best." He stands up from her couch. "It's, uh, it's getting kind of late, and I have some, um, some stuff to do, you know, packing and stuff, so I'm gonna head out." He forces his smile brighter. "It was great seeing you, Jude. I'm sure we'll be in the same city again soon. We'll hang out, it'll be good." He reaches out to grab her hand, squeezing it. "And happy birthday, girl. 21's gonna be your best year yet, I'm sure." He bends down slightly, pulling her hand up to his lips and kissing her fingers gently before dropping her hand. He takes a few steps backwards. "Hey, call me, yeah? Stay in touch? Promise?"

Jude doesn't know what else to do, so she takes a deep breath to calm her crying and nods. "Okay," she says softly, wiping her tears.

"I'll talk to you later, then," he says, as brightly as he can, before he turns and walks out.

A/N: Please don't hate me.