Author's Notes:
So…many thanks to all of you who are both reading and reviewing. Also, thank you to those of you who reassured me that the pace of this story is just right. I don't want to rush these two. I like to capture every moment that I can. I think that by doing this, it helps to build more meaningful characters and relationships. And of course, I just love to write about these two and can't stand the thought of ever letting go, lol.
Of course, a big THANK YOU to skyeblue0610 for taking the time to beta this story for me. She saved my ass BIG TIME with this chapter. She knows what I'm talking about. I'll say no more.
Thanks to gossip-bangkok for including me in a list of underappreciated stories.
Warning: There is sexual content in this chapter.
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
Chapter 25: Unexpected
BPOV
Keeping hold of Edward around his waist with my left arm, I gingerly took Mei's hand with my right one and smiled warmly at her.
"Hi, I'm Bella…um…figment," I said, trying with little luck to introduce myself without laughing. Mei smiled broadly, laughing with me. Edward on the other hand stiffened in my arm, looking down at me in horror.
"You know?" He asked disbelievingly and I winked at him and then nodded. I squeezed him lightly to let him know that it didn't bother me. It was all good.
"Ronald let me in on your little secret," I stood on my tiptoes and whispered into his ear.
Just then John walked up to the three of us, his face ecstatic and vaguely reminiscent of a kid in a candy shop.
"Well, well, well, if it isn't Miss Bella Swan. Turns out you aren't a figment of Edward's imagination after all," he teased as he patted Edward on his shoulder. Edward groaned, rolling his eyes.
"Hi Bella, I'm John," he said, introducing himself and reaching out to shake my hand. "It's certainly a pleasure to finally meet you, and I hope you're not offended by our little term of endearment for you. We like to tease Edward, but the truth is we've all been anxious to meet you. Edward speaks about you all the time." I blushed, warmed by the thought. Edward just shook his head and sighed.
"Go right ahead, John. Point out how hopelessly in love I am with this woman," he said as he drew me toward him for a sweet but all too brief kiss. "I'm not ashamed to admit I'm a love struck fool," he murmured against my lips and I grinned, loving how adorable he was in that moment. I wanted to keep kissing him, but Mei and John were still standing with us so I reluctantly pulled back.
"So what did you think of the scene?" John asked as I turned to face him and I blinked. That was an awkward question.
"Um…" I stammered slightly. "Well, I just walked in at the very end but their strong connection to each other was evident," I offered, feeling that was a more appropriate response than I was wildly jealous that Edward was holding another woman in his arms.
"We haven't got anything on the two of you," Mei said, reaching out to gently squeeze my arm, and I immediately felt she sensed my discomfort with the question and was trying to reassure me. It wasn't necessary, but her gesture seemed genuine and was appreciated.
"So Bella, Edward says you have a concert coming up," she continued, mercifully steering the topic of conversation away from Edward's connection with her. I was greatly appreciative.
"Ah…yes. I'll be playing Bach's Sixth Cello Suite," I answered her.
"I love the suites. My grandmother played the cello. She always wanted me to learn, but it just wasn't my thing."
"Well clearly acting is," I said. "I saw your performance in Tiananmen and it was riveting. I'm looking forward to seeing this film once it's completed."
"Thank you," she said, blushing, clearly embarrassed by my compliment.
"No need to be self-conscious, Mei," Edward smiled at her. "It's the truth. You're one of the main reasons I signed on for this film, actually."
"Yes, well, I think you're both immensely talented and I'd like to think I have two Oscar contenders here," John interjected then, looking first to Edward and then Mei. And at that comment, Edward and Mei both blushed, and John and I laughed.
"And they're both refreshing to work with, too," he added. "You have no idea how inflated some of the egos are in this business. Edward and Mei are true professionals. I've been absolutely thrilled with their performances thus far and I really do have high hopes that this film might nab one or the both of them an Oscar."
Edward and Mei both stared at John, amazed.
"John…I…thank you, thank you so much. That means a lot, especially coming from you," Edward finally managed to say.
"Agreed," Mei said, seemingly stunned by his glowing praise.
Just then, a gentleman standing behind a camera at the far end of the dining room hailed John and he groaned.
"Ugh, guess break time is over," he mumbled as he turned to Edward. "I'm sure you and Bella would like some time alone, so go ahead with your dinner break now. Just be back in an hour so we can start with your next scene," he said and Edward and I both smiled appreciatively at him. An hour alone with Edward was exactly what I needed right now.
"Thanks, John. It's been so nice meeting you," I said and he winked at me.
"It's been wonderful to finally meet you too," he said, placing an unnecessary amount of emphasis on the word finally, but I knew it was all in good fun.
"Filming is almost over, but we still have a few weeks left. Don't be a stranger, okay?" I nodded in his direction, barely able to say goodbye to Mei before Edward grabbed me by my hand, dragging me off through the kitchen and out into the alleyway.
"Edward," I protested. "Where are we going?"
"You'll see," he murmured, drawing me to his side. It was freezing out and he didn't have a jacket on. Thankfully, I still did. I wound my arm around his waist and snuggled against him, hoping it might provide him with a bit of warmth.
Edward and I rounded a corner and crossed a street where we walked towards what appeared to be an empty storefront.
"What's this?" I asked as he pulled open the door to one of the unoccupied stores. Once inside, I understood.
"Hair and make-up," he said, and with a wave of his arm he motioned to the beautician style chairs as well as the countertops filled with various hair and make-up implements that lined the left and right sides of the space.
"It's not possible to use trailers in the middle of the city, so we've rented out this space since most of the filming takes place here in Chinatown," he explained and I nodded in understanding. We walked to the back of the store where a door on the left bared Edward's hastily scrawled name on a scrap piece of paper.
"I take it this is your…"
"…trailer," he laughed, finishing my sentence for me. "Or the closest equivalent," he amended as he opened the door. Edward tugged my hand, altogether insistent on getting me into the room. When he shut the door behind us, I understood why. Before I even knew what was happening, he'd pushed me back roughly against the door and was pressing his body against mine. He held my face firmly in both of his hands as he lowered his mouth to mine and assaulted it with his. I felt it as his tongue dipped deep into my mouth, urgently tangling with mine. He rolled his hips forward then and the delicious sensation of his hardening length was enough to make my knees nearly buckle. I wound both of my hands up into his hair, kissing him back soundly as our hearts thrummed wildly against each other's chests.
"Bella," he moaned. "Fuck, I love you," he said as he tore his mouth from mine and began littering wet, sloppy kisses down my neck.
"I…I…"
Fuck. I couldn't think; I was completely distracted by Edward's mouth on my skin. I was insanely turned on and wondered whether or not it would be appropriate for us to fuck each other senseless in his trailer…of sorts.
"I…Iloveyoutoofuckyoufeelsogood." My words came out in a jumbled mess and Edward groaned as I rocked my hips forward onto his now firm erection.
Edward continued to kiss passionately down my neck before returning his mouth to mine. He kissed me again, though this time less urgently. Instead, his kiss was languid and sweet and infused with a tenderness that nearly brought me to tears. Presently Edward broke away. Breathing heavily, he rested his forehead against mine.
"Bella," he breathed, his warm breath swirling around in the space between us. I closed my eyes and inhaled slowly, altogether intoxicated by his scent.
"I want you," I said, opening my eyes and staring lazily up at him into ones equally as needful as mine.
"I want you too, baby, always," he murmured, rubbing his nose softly against mine. "But right now I want to know about your day," he said as his thumbs gently brushed across my cheeks.
Oh my God. Really?
"Oh," I said, smiling weakly up at him. I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed. He felt so incredible pressed against me and I was reluctant to let him go.
"Love, I could carry you over to the couch right now and very happily, not to mention enthusiastically, make love to you for the next hour, and if that's what you want me to do, I will. But you came here for a reason, and I don't necessarily think it was for a good old fashioned romp in the hay," he teased.
"You're right," I sighed, wishing he weren't. He leaned in to kiss me again, slipping his tongue between my lips for the briefest of moments before pulling away.
"This morning you gave me your permission to ravage you when I come home from work, and I fully intend to do just that. But right now? I think we need to talk," he said and I nodded at him as he took my hand and led me over to an old, worn couch situated in the corner of the room.
"Where in the hell did this come from?" I asked as I discarded my coat and settled onto the couch beside him. Edward chuckled softly, rolling his eyes.
"I have no idea. I've wondered that myself. Honestly, I try not to think about it. It's not so bad if you remember to sit in the center. The springs on either end tend to dig into your ass," he laughed, and I did too, reaching up to draw my hand down his cheek.
"Edward, you are the best and brightest part of every day," I said honestly, suddenly ever so grateful for his soothing presence and natural care-taking tendencies. I must have taken Edward by surprise because he swallowed hard and smiled shyly at me, ducking his head down before leaning in to place a lingering kiss on my mouth. I tried to deepen it, but he instantly pulled away.
"Thank you," he murmured against my lips. "Compliment returned a thousand times over. Now let's talk."
"What about?" I rested my head in the crook of his arm and placed my hand atop his heart. He leaned in to kiss the top of my head while covering my hand with his own.
"Whatever you'd like. Therapy…Xavier?" He suggested and I sighed.
"You don't have to," he said, noting my sudden reticence. "But I'd like you to, if that's okay with you."
"It is, Edward. There's nobody else I want to talk to about all of this with besides you. It's why I came here tonight. After meeting with Xavier I knew only one thing for certain, and that was I had to see you. I didn't want to wait until morning," I said honestly and I felt Edward's hand tighten atop mine.
"What happened?"
"Well, things didn't go quite as planned, though to be honest, I haven't the foggiest idea what I was actually expecting."
"Care to elaborate?"
I flexed my fingers, raising and twining them with his before returning our linked hands back atop his heart. I took a deep breath, sighing heavily before continuing.
"It was…a lot more difficult to face Xavier than I anticipated. I've been speaking with him over the phone on a fairly regular basis for the last three months, but meeting with him personally…it was just…very difficult."
"In what way?" Edward wondered. His right hand traced invisible lines along the length of my arm, helping me to relax, while his left hand continued to firmly grip mine.
"I was very angry. So much so, I even surprised myself," I whispered, and I almost felt ashamed now for how I'd acted.
"It's completely understandable you'd be angry with him, love. He's got to understand that."
"I think he does," I murmured. "He let me have my say, and he apologized for what's happened in the past. Not that a blanket apology can erase the damage that's been done. But I think he recognizes this, and his apology seemed sincere…" My voice trailed off as I reconsidered my meeting with Xavier. Now that I had had a chance to calm down and refocus my energy, I was finding that I could think about our meeting more objectively. I was no longer quite so impassioned, blinded by anger and resentment.
"He's been watching me…all these years, he's been watching me from afar, Edward," I said quietly a moment later and Edward looked down at me.
"Oh?" He said, interested. I looked up at him and smiled weakly.
"Yeah. He took me completely by surprise with that one. He's been attending my performances all along without my ever knowing. He was able to list most of my major ones since I was a child, as well as where he was sitting when he attended," I said, still not sure what to make of that. On the one hand, it was strong evidence that he did truly care for me, and that stirred something deep within me. On the other hand, it was painful to know he'd been there watching all along, without ever saying anything to me. I felt cheated.
"Wow…that's incredible," Edward said, shaking his head. "It really does sound as if he truly cares for you."
"I think he does…I mean I felt it more tonight than I ever have before. And maybe that frightened me, you know? Until now I've always felt rather indifferent towards him. At best I've felt angry, but I don't think I've ever allowed myself to even consider, let alone accept the possibility that despite what he did in the past, that he does truly care for me. Not until tonight. And sensing the depth of his feelings for me for the very first time…well it was somewhat disarming. I felt incredibly vulnerable and exposed. Does that make sense?"
"Perfect sense, love," Edward assured me, while simultaneously giving me a gentle squeeze.
"You know he said something to me as he was leaving tonight that's really made me think," I continued.
"What's that?"
"He said that while he may have chosen to exclude me from his life for the first fourteen years of mine, that it was me that had chosen to exclude him ever since."
"There's a bit of truth to that, love, isn't there," Edward gently said.
"There is," I nodded against his chest. "For so long I've been angry with him, focused solely on the fact that he abandoned me. I never considered the possibility that he loved me, because how could he if he chose never to acknowledge me? But I'm starting to realize it's just not that simple. There's no black and white here, and in shutting him out all these years I wonder if I've only caused myself more pain. Oh, I don't know. This is all so confusing. I'm literally drowning in this Edward. I want to make the right decisions here; I'm just not sure I know what they are."
"Shh," Edward gently soothed, sensing my mounting frustration. "Don't expect to know all the answers so soon. You've just started to work through this. It's going to take some time for you to figure out what you want. But I think you recognize a lot more about yourself and your relationship with Xavier than you think, and I've no doubt the two of you will eventually be able to move forward and forge a meaningful relationship. But that won't happen overnight, and you can't expect it to."
"You're right. I know you're right. I wish I would have been as level headed as you are at the restaurant. I said some pretty harsh things to Xavier. And when he left, I didn't even say goodbye. I was just too wound up. I didn't trust myself to speak."
"Well, when does he leave?"
"Tomorrow morning, I think."
"Could you call him? Just to say goodbye? I think maybe you'd feel better about things if you did." I nodded my head.
"I think maybe I should. I don't think I can apologize for the things I said because I was only being honest with him, and if we have any hope of forming a relationship with each other, that's the only place for us to start. But I do think I owe it to him to say goodbye."
"Agreed. And I doubt if Xavier expects any retractions, Bella. If he truly cares for you as he seems to, he'll understand that you're going to have some things that you need to get off your chest. He'll also understand that building a relationship with you is going to take time. But you have to start somewhere, and it really does sound as if you're open to trying now, at least I hope that's the case. I really do think it would be for the best."
"I think I am open to trying," I said quietly. "I'm not sure I'll ever be able to embrace Xavier as my father, but maybe eventually as a friend," I mused before sighing contentedly and snuggling closer to Edward.
"Thank you. I see things much more clearly after talking them through with you, but I didn't mean for this to turn into another therapy session. You'll have to send me an invoice for your services," I teased.
"Hmm…" Edward hummed against my head as he kissed it. "My expectations of payment are rather unorthodox."
"Oh really?" I said, slyly disentangling my fingers from his and running my hands down his chest towards the fly of his pants. "Mr. Cullen, would you please be so kind as to advise me of what I might expect? You know…so that I can be prepared."
Edward groaned, reaching out to take my hand in his and placing it firmly atop his rapidly hardening length. I hummed in approval, lifting my head from his chest and hefting my right leg across his lap so that I was straddling him.
"Miss Swan, that's precisely what I had in mind," he growled as he leaned forward, capturing my mouth with his. He kissed me hard for a brief moment before gently pulling back. I whimpered in protest.
"Edward. I'm going to internally combust if you don't do something to me right now," I half teased. I looked deep into his eyes, reaching behind his head with my hand and weaving my fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck. Edward sighed, his eyes falling shut.
"Bella," he said, reaching out to take my free hand in his and kissing it softly on the knuckles.
"I want you now, more than you probably realize. But I don't think that here is the place. And you haven't yet told me how therapy went. I'm anxious to know," he admitted shyly and I sighed.
"You know you really are a mood killer, Cullen," I pouted and he grinned.
"Oh love, I doubt you'll be saying that tomorrow morning." And his words held such sweet promise that I acquiesced to his demands.
"So you want to know how therapy went, huh? You're not tired of talking?" I asked, knowing full well that he wasn't.
"I could never tire of talking with you, love" he said, reaching up to tap the tip of my nose with his forefinger before winding his arms around my waist. I sat back on his lap, my knees on either side of his thighs.
"Well…in all honestly it went better than expected. Olivia, my therapist, was easy to be with. I felt comfortable talking to her. More than comfortable, actually - I completely fell apart," I admitted sheepishly and Edward's face fell.
"I'm sorry, sweet girl," he said. He looked at me sympathetically as he reached up to gently caress my right cheek with the tips of his fingers. They were calloused and rough, and just…so Edward. I melted into his touch, immediately comforted and soothed.
"Don't be," I said, smiling thoughtfully, relishing the feel of his touch. "It felt good to talk to her. She sort of walked me through the chain of events leading up to and after the accident, asking very general questions about how I felt then, and how I feel now. She let me do most of the talking."
"So it was a positive experience for you?" Edward asked cautiously, yet hopefully.
"Definitely," I replied confidently. "It was emotionally grueling, but overall a positive experience. I felt a little lighter leaving her office, if that makes sense. As hard as it is to talk about what happened, every time I do it gets a little easier and I feel a little better."
"I'm glad," Edward said, smiling tenderly at me as he gently stroked my hair.
"I mean, I know we've only just uncovered the tip of the iceberg," I continued. "Olivia told me as much, saying it was one thing to lay it all out there but quite another to pick through everything and examine how it makes me feel. But I really think I can do this. I don't feel as frightened and alone as I did nine years ago. And I don't have a reason to suppress my feelings anymore, other than out of fear of finally allowing myself to properly grieve. Olivia said I never did that and that instead, I shut down emotionally. It's a common reaction related to post traumatic stress syndrome," I said.
"Post traumatic stress syndrome? Is that what she says you suffer from?" Edward asked in a disbelieving tone of voice.
"Yes. I exhibit many of the symptoms. Flashbacks, nightmares, avoidance of stimuli associated with the accident and emotional numbing, to name a few." Listening to myself I sounded so clinical, and I wondered absently what Edward really thought about all of this. It was a lot for anybody to deal with, and though I firmly believed Edward would stand by me through anything, it had to be disconcerting to listen to me break down what exactly it was I was suffering from.
"The two of you really covered a lot of territory in one session," Edward mused a moment later before offering me a thoughtful smile. I nodded.
"We did. She said she'd like to see me twice a week, and she's given me some homework for our next session."
"Homework?" Edward asked, curious.
"Yes, homework. She wants me to think about ways in which this single event has defined me in the past, and what I'd like to change about that in terms of how it will define me in my future."
"That's a lot to consider…" Edward said. His lips were pursed, his eyes deeply pensive as he studied me.
"I know," I responded quietly.
"Maybe if you tried to write some things down, it might help," he suggested and I nodded.
"I think that's what I'm going to try to do. Tonight actually…after I call Xavier," I said. Edward smiled lazily at me before leaning forward to place a soft kiss to my lips.
"I'm proud of you. Today has been a big day for you."
"It has," I agreed, kissing him back lightly before resting my forehead against his. "I think I'm ready to go home," I sighed. I was exhausted, in every sense of the word.
"I wish I could be there with you."
"Me, too," I murmured against his lips.
Just then, there was a gentle knock at the door.
"Edward?" Mei called Edward's name softly and he and I both sighed simultaneously. Our time together had come to an end.
"Come in, Mei," Edward called as I moved to shift off of his lap. The door opened half way and Mei popped her head inside.
"I'm so sorry, guys. I hate to interrupt but John says he's done everything he can without you, Edward. You're needed back on set now," she said, smiling apologetically.
"That's fine Mei. Thanks for letting us know," Edward said.
"No problem. I'll just let John know you'll be right there." Mei offered a regretful smile to the both of us before pulling the door closed behind her.
"Guess that's my cue to leave," I said as I stood. Edward gazed up at me, his eyes roving up and down my body as I stretched.
"You don't have to, you know. You could hang around and watch if you'd like. I'm sure John wouldn't mind." I laughed aloud, knowing that was the worst possible idea right now.
"I might be too much of a distraction," I said as I held my hand out to him and pulled him to his feet. I drew him near to me and then stood on my tiptoes to whisper in his ear.
"I've wanted to jump you since I got here and I don't think watching you parade around in this sexy getup is going to do anything to help that," I said as I tugged at the lapels of his period suit. Edward threw his head back in glorious laughter, which was not exactly the reaction I'd hoped for.
"This thing?" He asked, pointing to his clothes, incredulous.
"Yes," I growled, pulling his hips roughly against mine. "You're insanely hot in anything you wear, but there is just something about period attire that really gets me going," I said before smashing my lips against Edward's. He kissed me back madly before reluctantly pulling away.
"You're right," he said, panting heavily, his arousal evident through his pants. "It's probably best you go."
Several hours later I lay in bed, luxuriating in the euphoria of a highly erotic dream that featured none other than Edward. Though I couldn't see his face, I knew it was him. Even if struck blind and deaf, I would recognize his touch …his scent, anywhere. Only Edward could cause my skin to tingle so, as if each and every one of my nerve endings was alight with fire. Only Edward could give me such beautiful, intense pleasure.
I squirmed under the sheets, wildly aroused by my dream. This dream was not unlike many others I'd had that starred Edward, only this one was particularly intense and I felt myself on the brink of orgasm, enveloped in the familiar, sweet ecstasy I experienced every time I was with Edward. I gasped as in my dream Edward drove into me, pumping relentlessly, his hip bone rubbing deliciously against my throbbing center. I reached out and grasped the sheet underneath me with either hand - the sensation rocketing through my body was that intense. Soon my right hand was moving south towards where I so desperately craved to be touched… to where I needed to be touched in order to achieve my release. With my eyes closed, I glided my hand over my stomach and towards my center, and laced it into….
Edward's hair?
Oh fuck yes.
I whimpered as I became immediately aware of what was happening, and tilted my hips upward into Edward's face. Edward responded enthusiastically, lapping vigorously at my center with his tongue before pushing it inside of me.
"Edward…" I managed to say as I struggled to open my eyes. I was still half asleep, consumed by an ethereal, blissful, Edward induced haze. Edward stopped his ministrations as I uttered his name, crawling up my body to trace the outline of my lips with his tongue. I could taste myself on him, and it was so fucking erotic. I opened my eyes completely then, reaching my hands around his backside and pushing down on him, urging him to enter me. He willingly complied, and we both gasped before he pushed his tongue between my lips, claiming every part of my body with every part of his.
"Ungh…I'm so turned on right now, baby," I murmured between kisses.
Edward panted as he thrust into me.
"Fuck, you were whimpering in your sleep when I walked through the door. What were you dreaming about baby?"
I didn't need to think to answer that.
"Mmm…you…fucking me…just like this," I crooned and he moaned, increasing the pace and intensity with which he drove into me.
"I told you I'd ravish you when I came home," he said as he tore his mouth from mine and lapped at my skin with his tongue. He buried his head in my neck then, nipping at the tender flesh in the curve of my throat. I cried out, holding him to me more firmly, urging him to go deeper. And he did.
"Ahhh…fuck, yes. Just like that. Oh God, Edward. The things you do to me. You own me…this body - it's yours, all yours…"
"Fuck yes it is," he growled possessively before his voice suddenly softened and he breathed heavily against my neck.
"You're so beautiful, baby. I love you."
And his sweet words, whispered with such tenderness and sincerity as he nuzzled my neck, were my undoing. I felt myself lock down around him, relentlessly squeezing his length as my body shuddered in its climax, its powerful reaction eliciting Edward's own as he spilled into me, filling me completely. Edward collapsed atop me then, his head resting on my heart, each of us panting heavily. I weaved my fingers into his hair and began gently massaging his scalp and he hummed appreciatively as he reached up to grab my other hand in his.
"For the record, feel free to do that any fucking time," I laughed a few moments later after we'd each managed to catch our breaths.
"Do what?" He asked, momentarily lifting his head from my chest and staring up at me out of wide, innocent eyes. I giggled, shaking my head.
"Waking me up by burying your head between my legs," I clarified and he grinned.
"Oh…that. You liked that, did you now?"
"Maybe," I teased, and his mouth curved up into the most beautiful and enchanting of smiles before he rested his head back down on my chest. We lay quietly together for awhile, Edward's fingers gently scratching the base of my throat while mine traced an invisible line up and down his back.
"It was wonderful meeting everybody last night. They all seemed genuinely nice," I said after awhile and I felt his chest rise and fall in a contented sigh before he spoke.
"They are," he agreed. "I'm glad they finally had the chance to meet you."
"I really liked Mei, in particular. She's a refreshing change from Daniella," I mused aloud, and immediately regretted my words. Edward inhaled sharply, tensing in my arms.
"Oh God, I'm so sorry. That was an incredibly inconsiderate thing for me to say," I rushed to say, chastising myself. I felt terrible. I knew that what had happened between Edward and Daniella had hurt him and I hated that I'd just poured salt into a fresh wound.
"It's all right," he said in an effort to reassure me. "I know what you meant. It only makes sense you'd feel that way. Daniella wasn't very nice to you."
"She wasn't," I agreed. "But that doesn't change the fact that you were close to her once upon a time." Edward lay quiet, the only sound in the room being that of us breathing. I knew he wouldn't talk about her. He never wanted to talk about her.
"You know I wonder every day about how you're doing, Edward. I know you don't like to talk about what happened, but I hope you know that I'm here for you if you want to."
Edward lifted himself off of my chest then, propping himself up on his elbow by my side and resting his head in his hand. He reached across with his hand to trace the silhouette of my face with his forefinger.
"Thank you," he said softly. "I appreciate you wanting to be there for me, but there's really not much to talk about. What's done is done, love. Daniella made some very poor choices, and I'm sorry about that because she was a good friend to me. But that's no longer the case, and quite frankly I don't have the time or the energy to try and make things right between the two of us. It's not my place to, anyway. That would have to be a decision made by Daniella, and even then I'm not so sure I could ever go back to the ways things were between us knowing how she treated you. If fact, I'm quite certain that I couldn't."
"But none of that changes the fact that you were hurt, Edward. I just don't want you to keep everything bottled up inside until suddenly it gets to be too much for you. It helps to talk things through," I said, earnestly. And if anyone knew that to be true, it was me, but Edward only chuckled softly beside me. I looked over at him, bewildered.
"Why are you laughing?" I asked, feeling somewhat hurt by his reaction.
"I'm sorry, love. It's just…well…men think differently than women do, Bella. We handle situations like these in a different way. We, or at least I, tend to work through these types of things best by myself. And like I said before, there really isn't much to say. She lied to me, and she hurt you. It's clear to me our relationship wasn't what I thought it was, so there's really no sense in fighting for something that wasn't genuine to begin with, right?" He asked me and I reluctantly nodded, his thoughts on the matter being very reasonable.
"Makes sense," I agreed. "I just want you to know…"
"Love, don't worry, I know. I know you're there for me. I never question that."
"Good, because I know I'm sort of the crazy, fucked up one in this relationship right now, but no matter what, it always has to be about us. Not just me and what I'm going through, but you too… us."
"I've never, not felt that way," Edward said very seriously, holding my gaze with his own, and I sighed, smiling lightly at him as I reached across to tap the tip of his nose with my finger.
"Good, because this figment wouldn't have it any other way," I teased. I ribbed Edward's belly with my hand and he groaned, rolling his eyes and chuckling softly at my reference to the cast and crew's nickname for me before pressing a kiss to my forehead.
"I'm glad you weren't upset by that. I was a little worried about what you'd think if you ever found out," he whispered against me, and I smiled up at him reassuringly.
"I really wasn't. It was obvious it was all in jest. Although I wonder how it's made you feel," I mused, suddenly sad for Edward that he had to endure being teased about me for months on end. Edward shrugged, his long and elegant forefinger tracing lazy, serpentine designs on my arm.
"No harm, no foul, I suppose. I can't say I necessary liked it, but I tried not to let it bother me. I knew you had your reasons for not coming around, and I respected that." I reached up and placed my hand on Edward's cheek then, turning on my side so that I faced him.
"I would have come sooner if you had asked," I said honestly, but I wondered if it was too little too late. Once again, I was keenly aware of how unfair I'd been to Edward all these months. Luckily, Edward didn't seem to need me to convince him of that.
"I know that," he said, nodding as he reached up to cover my hand with his, holding it firmly against his face. "But I didn't want you to come because you felt you had to in order to please me. I wanted you to come because you wanted to. And seeing you standing there tonight of your own volition…it was worth the wait Bella. You have no idea what it means to me to see that you're becoming more comfortable with my world because I want you to share it with me, always. But it has to be your choice."
"I made my choice to be with you a long time ago, baby," I whispered, and he grinned sleepily at me, covering his mouth with the back of his hand in an effort to stifle a yawn.
"You're so tired. Sleep now," I gently instructed, noting how exhausted he was. I turned onto my back then and pulled him to my side so that his head settled on my chest. I ran my left hand up through his hair, gently scratching at his scalp while my right hand soothed up and down the length of his back. He sighed, winding his leg around mine and pulling himself closer to me.
"Good night, sweet girl," he murmured before drifting off to sleep. I chuckled when I glanced at the alarm clock on the table beside the bed and saw that it was after six in the morning.
"Good morning, sweet boy," I whispered back as I kissed the top of his head and held him while he slept.
The week passed by quickly, with both Edward and me busy with work and school, respectively. Soon it was Thursday, and Edward had arrived home at five that morning after completing his final night of filming. He had a full twenty four hours off of work and when he returned he would once again be working days and evenings. He was ecstatic about this, and so was I. While I loved snuggling with him in bed those mornings he'd arrived home early from work, I much preferred to sleep all night long with him and was almost giddy with the thought of going to bed with him that night. I marveled at the simple things in life, like sleeping beside the one you loved, as I glanced across the room to where Edward now sat, nestled into the corner of the couch with Johann's head resting on his legs.
"What? Are you kidding me? I can't believe this, Rose, she'll be talking by Christmas," Edward cried as he shook his head in exasperation.
"Genevieve is smiling, holding her head up unassisted and grasping a rattle in her hand already," Edward called to me and I couldn't help but chuckle. Edward was beyond excited about meeting his new niece. We'd already purchased several gifts for her for Christmas on Amazon and Edward wanted to venture out to FAO Schwartz too before leaving for Kelly's Island, where Edward's family traditionally spent Christmas.
I tinkered with the piano, playing little tunes like Chopsticks and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star while Edward talked on the phone. Amazingly, Edward had yet to hear me really play the piano. He was always the one to play the piano, while I played my cello. He'd wondered early on why I had a Steinway in my apartment, but I'd just shrugged. It wasn't uncommon for a cellist to have a piano for people to play accompaniment. Since that day, I'd waited for the perfect opportunity to play the piano for Edward, but that moment had yet to arrive. It would eventually, though, and I could hardly wait to see the expression on his face when it did.
Just as Edward ended his call with Rose, my own phone sounded from in the kitchen. I sighed, getting up from the piano bench and moving to answer it. I figured it was either Jasper or Jake calling to let me know they'd arrived at the New York Palace Hotel in Manhattan. We were due to perform there for the Manhattan Chamber Music Society's High Tea event this afternoon. In fact, I really had to get going to meet them there, though leaving Edward was the last thing I wanted to do right now.
When I answered the phone, I was surprised to find Katie Mallory, a freshman at Julliard who was to accompany me today in playing Brahms's Cello Sonata No. 1.
"Hi, Katie. What's up?" I asked as I scurried about the apartment looking for my shoes. Edward chuckled at the sight of me.
Suddenly, I froze.
"You've got the flu? Are you kidding me?" I practically yelled, feeling a wave of panic wash over me. "Katie, are you sure you can't just try and make it through thirty minutes of playing? You're leaving me in a real bind here. We're due to perform in less than an hour. I don't even know who I can call now. Everybody is busy, what with it being the holidays and all," I moaned. I felt bad that Katie was sick, but she knew how important this performance was and she'd followed after me all semester, hounding me for the opportunity to play.
Katie apologized profusely before informing me one final time that it just wouldn't be possible for her to perform today and I sighed, telling her to get some rest before hanging up the phone. Edward studied me from the couch, cocking an eyebrow when he noted the distraught expression on my face.
"I take it one of your performers is canceling on you for this afternoon?" He said and I sighed.
"My pianist. What am I going to do Edward? There is no way I'll find somebody to replace her on this short of notice," I wailed. This was a nightmare, an absolute nightmare. I'd been personally selected by the director of the organization to organize this event, and I was certain there would be some awfully dissatisfied guests if I didn't perform a duet for cello and piano.
Edward was quiet for a moment before speaking up and catching me completely off guard.
"What about me?" He asked innocently, and I was all but certain my eyes physically popped out of my head.
"You're kidding me, right?" I laughed nervously. There was no way he was serious.
But he was.
"Why not?" He countered, slightly wounded by my rebuke. "You don't think I'm talented enough?"
"What? No! That's not it at all! Obviously you're ridiculously talented, it's just that…"
"What?" Edward challenged, narrowing his eyes at me. He obviously was not going to cut me any slack.
"Come on, Edward. Not to point out the obvious here, but how do you think the guests will react when they see you performing?" I asked, incredulous.
"Bella, what does it matter who plays the piano as long as there is somebody there to do it?" Edward was becoming frustrated with me, and I realized I didn't really have much of an argument against him performing.
When I didn't answer him, Edward pressed me further.
"Bella, why don't you want me to play with you?" He questioned me softly and I sighed.
"Well, aside from the previously mentioned reason, our playing together has always been something personal, just between you and me. We've never shared it with anyone, Edward, and I'm not sure I'm ready to," I whispered. Edward nodded in silent understanding before moving off of the couch towards me. Arriving in front of me, he reached out and lifted my chin with his forefinger, smiling lovingly down at me.
"Love, music is what brought us together. What we share together when we play will forever be ours, that won't change just because we perform together in front of a few people. The spark won't go away, I promise you that," he assured me, and I knew he was right. But God…Edward performing live with me in front of what was likely to be hundreds of guests…I just wasn't sure how that was going to work. But really, I didn't have much choice.
"Okay," I began. "Let's say I agree to performing a duet with you, what will we play? You've never even looked at Brahms."
"What about Fauré?" Edward suggested, and I gasped, having completely forgotten that we'd been working on that piece over the last several months. "Is that a suitable substitute?"
I thought about that. Fauré's Elegy was a beautiful piece, and Edward and I played it so well together. But it wasn't quite long enough.
"That would be a start…but we'd need to play something else," I said. "Fauré isn't long enough."
Edward didn't hesitate with his response.
"What about the duet you composed?"
My breath hitched in my throat.
"Our duet?" I quietly asked, and Edward slowly nodded.
"Edward, I don't know…I wrote that for you. It's so…personal."
"It's beautiful, Bella."
"But it's us," I protested, though only half heartedly.
"Like I said, it's beautiful. We'd blow them all away."
I was certain we would, if in fact I agreed to what Edward was suggesting.
"You're really serious," I said, double checking with him one last time. Edward rolled his eyes at me good humouredly.
"Do I look like I'm kidding?"
"Fine. When can you be ready?" I asked, and his eyes opened wide with excitement.
"Really?" He said, doubting my sincerity.
"Yes, really. But I need you in a tux, so how long will that take?"
My heart was beating wildly in my chest. I was really going to do this. We were really going to do this.
"I'll have Ronald run me by the hotel and I'll shower and pick up my tux," he said excitedly as he sprinted to the couch to put on his shoes. "I can meet you there in an hour, would that be okay?" I nodded my head and we took a few moments to sort out the small details before Edward headed to the Ritz to shower and dress and I headed to The New York Palace Hotel.
Things were slightly chaotic upon my arrival at the hotel, with city socialites and musicians mingling together in a large crowd in the largest of the hotels ballrooms. I stopped as I entered the room to chat briefly with my professor of cello, Dr. Warren, before heading off to find Jasper and Jake. We would be performing Schubert's String Trio in B Flat Major first, and hopefully by the time we were finished with that piece, Edward would have arrived.
I didn't bother telling Dr. Warren about Katie Mallory's cancellation. Nor did I mention to her the change in pieces from Brahms to Fauré and …Swan. There was no printed program for this afternoon's performance, anyway. The musicians were really just meant to provide background music as members of the Manhattan Chamber Music Society rubbed noses with the city elite, looking for funding for their various citywide programs.
I met Jasper and Jake at the back of the room where they'd already set up their music stands and were tuning their instruments. I quickly removed my cello from its case and tuned with them before we settled into Schubert. Our performance went splendidly and nearly a half hour later we three took our bows as guests briefly paused to applaud our performance before returning to their hobnobbing.
"Where's Katie?" Jasper asked as I rested my cello back in its case. I glanced over my shoulder at him and frowned.
"She's sick. I had to find a replacement," I quickly replied, reaching for my phone which lay in my case.
"What? Who did you find on such short notice?" He wondered aloud, and I held up a finger to him as I checked my messages. There was a text from Edward. He was waiting out back in the car with Ronald.
"Edward," I answered him briskly, and I could have sworn I heard him say "holy shit" as I breezed past him and through the crowd to the front of the ballroom. Once out of the room, I quickly made my way to the back of the hotel where I located a door leading out into a parking lot used for service vehicles. There, waiting for me as promised, was Edward.
"Edward…you look…" I shook my head, trying to clear it of the sudden haze that had descended upon it, rendering me completely fucking speechless. God if this man wasn't the most exquisitely beautiful creature I'd ever laid eyes on.
"Bella?" Edward teased, moving toward me and grabbing my hand in his. He bent to kiss me then tugged me indoors, into the warmth of the building and out of the bitter cold. I was stumbling behind him, still trying to get over the sight of him in a tux. I would never get used to that, no matter how many times I saw him dressed like that. Edward turned to look at me and grinned.
"You're star struck, aren't you?" He tried to suppress a smirk as I nodded wordlessly. He chuckled softly before winking at me and pulling on my hand.
"Come on silly girl, we've got a duet to play," he said, and his words immediately brought me back to the here and now.
"Right…duet…Edward, are you absolutely certain…"
"Good God, Bella, enough with that. Yes! I want to do this! Can't you see how excited I am about this?" He asked as we continued down the hall. And I had to admit, he was positively beaming, a wide grin plastered across his face, literally stretching from one ear to the other. And his eyes…his beautiful sea green eyes absolutely sparkled with delight.
As we approached the ballroom, I pulled Edward off into a little alcove.
"This is what we're going to do," I said. "We're both going to enter the room and walk immediately towards the back where we're set up to play. I'm going to announce what we'll be performing, but if it's all right with you, I'm not going to introduce you just yet. I'd like for people to be interested in listening to you play because of your talent, and not because of whom you are."
Edward cocked a skeptical brow.
"You don't think people will recognize me?"
"Some will," I admitted, "but most won't be paying that much attention. They'll be listening, but busy mingling, too. This isn't a sit down affair."
Edward shrugged. "Whatever you feel is best love," he said, smiling brightly. I took a deep breath and, taking Edward's hand in mine, led him through the doors into the ballroom and immediately to the rear of the room. As we approached, Jasper grinned and held out his hand to Edward. Jake on the other hand froze in place, completely caught off guard by Edward's presence. I felt a slight twinge of guilt at not having told him Edward would be here, but there really hadn't been any time. I smiled apologetically and he stared back at me blankly for only a moment before offering a slight smile and perfunctory nod.
After Edward had settled at the piano, I walked forward to the microphone, tapping the top to clear it of static.
"Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. I hope you all enjoyed our performance of Schubert's String Trio in B Flat Major. Up next, we'll be performing a series of two piano and cello duets. The first selection is Fauré's Elegy, and the second selection will be a piece composed by me, Isabella Swan, for piano and cello."
A few faces turned to regard me at that announcement, most notably Dr. Warren's. I smiled politely before lifting my cello from its case and sitting down in my chair. I turned to Edward.
"Can I have an A, please?" I asked, taking a moment to tune my cello to the piano. Once we were tuned, I silently counted off a full measure while looking at Edward, and then we began to play.
The moment we began to play I felt the current of electricity travel between us, connecting us to each other as it always did when we played music together. Our music was an expression of our love for each other – very simply, it was everything we were unable to put into words. And every time we played together, our performance reflected this.
Today was no exception, and it didn't escape my notice as we neared the end of the short piece that the entire ballroom had fallen silent. People were standing and staring, eyes wide with disbelief as they listened to the two of us play. The energy in the room was palpable, and it was magical to see the effect we had on people, especially knowing it was all because of what we felt for each other. I couldn't help but smile as Edward and I both stood to take our bows. I turned to Edward and winked as we did so, and he grinned back, obviously quite satisfied with our performance. We took our seats then, and I nodded at him, letting him know I was ready to commence with our final piece.
The room was completely silent now save the curious whispers of astonished guests as they realized that it was Edward Cullen playing the piano. Neither Edward nor I paid them any heed, however, and instead began playing our song. As we played, I was very quickly overcome with emotion and had to fight hard not to cry as I realized that in so many ways, this performance was a proclamation of my love for Edward and his love for me. If there had been any doubt before as to what exactly we meant to each other, there would be none now. Our music, our song said it all. I gazed in Edward's direction partway through the song, and our eyes connected. His lips curved up into a tender smile as he regarded me lovingly, and I smiled back, sighing heavily at the depth of my feelings for this one person. He was it, he was everything – we were everything, all that mattered.
As our playing drew to a close, we were greeted with thunderous applause, but neither Edward nor I seemed to care. We both sat lost in each other's eyes, each of us trying to come to grips with our own emotions. I saw that he was struggling not to cry, which in turn made it all the more difficult for me not to, and only when Dr. Warren approached the two of us was I able to finally tear my gaze from Edward's and look at her.
"Bella," she breathed, holding out her hand to me. I rested my cello on the floor beside my chair and she pulled me into a hug. The room was abuzz with conversation, and I noticed as I returned Dr. Warren's embrace that many of the guests were staring at both Edward and me. As Dr. Warren pulled away, she glanced in Edward's direction. He smiled nervously, holding out his hand to shake hers as he approached.
"Hello ma'am, I'm Edward. It's a pleasure to meet you."
Dr. Warren smiled warmly at Edward.
"Edward, I'm Dr. Warren, Bella's professor of cello. And I must say I'm in awe of you as a musician. That performance was simply divine."
Edward grinned from ear to ear, humbly accepting Dr. Warren's compliments with grateful thanks of his own.
Forty five minutes later, Edward and I had finally managed to ready ourselves to leave. We'd spent time mingling with the guests after our performance and Edward had been complimented on his skills as a pianist as well as offered many opportunities to study music at various institutions of higher learning in New York. He was quite pleased with himself, and completely thrilled with the way the evening had turned out. And I had to admit, so was I. I was happy that Edward was so happy…and that I'd managed to pull off the High Tea event without a hitch. Life was good…yes, life was certainly good.
Edward had just run to the restroom and I was finishing putting my cello away in its case when I saw Jake walking toward me from the other side of the room. I was somewhat surprised. The ballroom had all but emptied out by now and I thought he and Jasper had left long ago…
Jake smiled lightly at me as he approached, though I could sense that he was nervous. I stood up and smiled back at him as he came to stand in front of me, wondering what it was that he wanted.
"Hey, Bella," he said. He fidgeted, nervously shifting his weight from one foot to the other.
"Hey, Jake. What's up? I thought you and Jazz left awhile ago." Jake shook his head, no.
"Um…actually, I was waiting for you to finish playing. You played beautifully, by the way. Great job," he said, and he seemed sincere in his words, which I had to admit, surprised me. We'd never cleared the air after that night in my apartment and since that time we'd said very little to one another, even during our practices. We did what we had to do to get the job done, but we no longer shared anything more, as sad as that was.
"Thanks, Jake. You did a terrific job yourself," I replied.
There was a brief moment in time where the both of us stood awkwardly facing each other, neither one of us seeming to know what to say. I was wondering when Edward was going to return, when Jake finally gathered the courage to speak.
"Bella…I was wondering, do you think we could go somewhere and talk?"
Chapter End Notes:
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