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Chapter 24

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Vader's Flag Ship Exactor - Month Twenty Four, Day One PEF

Late Morning

His mood dark, Vader didn't immediately return to his quarters and the uncertain temperament of his wife. Instead, he headed for his office - which was adjacent to his quarters - and paced back and forth in front of the desk, away from prying eyes.

Ventress had left him with more questions than answers, but there had been no mistaking the unholy gleam in her gaze. She'd known about Padmé's shift in demeanor and - to be fair - she'd tried to warn him, and was now enjoying the effect his wayward wife was having on his equilibrium.

His apprentice, at the very least, appreciated her reward for that capture; she'd been wearing them on the flight deck, one hand absently caressing the hilts as if to reassure herself they were truly on her belt. They'd been modified, as he expected, and now sported the black and purple wrap that was her lightsaber trademark. Fitting, he supposed.

The thought was errant and dismissed just as easily. Ventress had seemed genuinely puzzled by his query about strange noises from his wife's bed chamber - a thought he'd been struggling against since he'd captured her. Seeing Asajj that morning had reminded him of his intention to ask her about a child.

Still, he had to proceed cautiously. Few knew that Padmé had been carrying his child and the fewer who continued to know, the safer his child would remain until he could speak with Padmé about it. Would she tell him if he asked? Would she reveal where she'd hid the child, or would she continue to fight him on the issue?

It had been nagging at him, eating away at his conscience since her arrival, only he hadn't yet found the opportunity to speak with her civilly. No matter what discussion they held, they fought. He'd never fought with her much before this and, to be fair, he'd even told her on Geonosis he'd learned not to argue with her - but everything had changed since then.

He didn't want to fight with her about their child, he wanted answers - real answers - to his questions.

Running one hand through his hair in an exasperated gesture of frustration, he considered his options and realized he didn't have many. If he was going to ask her, he'd have to control his temper no matter what she chose to reveal and avoid taking offense at any slight she chose to throw his way.

Would she be more approachable now, after their discussion this morning, or would she continue to claim that she hated him and spurn his questions with disdain?

The uncertainty gnawed at him and Vader was never uncertain.

He'd been so sure she wanted to be with him and hadn't had cause to believe otherwise. True, she'd ignored his summons, but it had been possible she hadn't received it. Now, with her locked in his - in their quarters, he had little cause to doubt her claims; she truly wished to have as little to do with him as possible.

If he could just reach her - reach the woman he'd married that was somewhere under all of that bitterness and hatred - he knew she would come around. The Padmé he'd married was in there somewhere, waiting to be revived and reunited with him; he simply had to figure out how to unlock her. Perhaps their child was the way of doing so - it gave them common ground where there now seemed to be very little and, if nothing else, it was as good a place to start as any.

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Padmé left the kitchenette without having her fruit and moved back to her place on the sofa in the viewing lounge, resuming her posture from the previous night as the pieces of japor weighed heavily in her pocket. She pulled them from their resting place, running her thumb over the cracked insignia that was supposed to have brought her good fortune.

Vader's parting words still rang in her ears, but it was the piece of japor that dominated her thoughts. The pieces - and what they signified.

Together they represented a dream and what had been. They represented unity, parts of a whole connected by bonds invisible to the naked eye. Together, they represented what she had wanted her life with Anakin to be - whole, complete; the missing piece to her heart and soul. A dream come true.

As it was now, lying fractured and broken in her palm, it represented something else.

The broken state of her family - her children cast adrift, their father gone. The state of her heart without any of those three elements. The dreams she'd once dared to entertain and now lay scattered at her feet. How the man of her heart had betrayed everything they believed in and shattered those dreams by turning away from her.

Her hand began to tremble and she cradled the pieces in her lap, her knees dropping slightly to accommodate the movement as tears burned in her eyes. The pieces of her husband's innocence - pieces of the past she could give to her children that remained untainted by his darkness.

Closing her eyes, she willed the tears away, unable to help the despair that was once again clawing for release, for acknowledgement. Stuck in Vader's quarters, his virtual prisoner, she had no hope of continuing the search for her babies. There was no way she'd be able to hold them or touch them, no hope - however slim - of seeing them grow. She had no hope of finding them - of ensuring they were given Anakin's legacy.

A sob caught in her throat as she forced herself to breathe, the thickness in her throat making it difficult. She concentrated on the action, refusing to succumb to the overpowering urge to weep.

In.

Out.

In.

Out.

Slowly, the tight band around her chest loosened, but it didn't vanish entirely. It never would - not until she was able to hold her children safe in her embrace. It never faded, not during sleep, not during her encounters with Max - not even in the aftermath of her nightmares. The nightmares only served as a reminder that her children had been taken and she'd been powerless to stop it.

If only she hadn't fallen into that coma! If she'd been awake and aware, she'd never have let the Alliance members steal her children, never have let them go without a fight. If she'd been awake... If only she'd been awake!

She didn't open her eyes as she bowed her head against her knees, resting her forehead against them. It was in this position that Vader found her when he returned from whatever errand had been so critical earlier that morning. She heard him enter somewhere in the back of her mind, but she was so focused on the desolation and isolation of her circumstance she didn't react; couldn't have reacted.

The grief was overwhelming as she realized that here, captured by the very man who'd sired her children, her ability to search for them was compromised. Nullified. There was nothing she could do to continue that search and it was as if they'd been taken from her for a second time and - again - she'd been powerless to prevent it.

"Padmé?"

Vader's voice echoed softly somewhere in background noise around her, yet she didn't respond. He called her name a second time, this time closer, and added a question.

"Padmé, where is our child?"

Gone, her mind replied softly, bereft as the word slid through the silence inside with the precision of a stiletto blade.

"I asked you a question." Vader continued to move towards her, his annoyed tone working its way through the mists of her mind and jogging her from it. "Where is our child?"

Not lifting her head, she shook it fractionally, unable to do more as his question ate at the wall surrounding her heart.

"Padmé!"

There was no mistaking the commanding tone in his voice or the underlying annoyance in his order having shifted towards anger.

"I don't know." The whisper barely passed her lips, almost lost in the fabric over her knees.

"What?"

Her heart breaking, she repeated the answer louder, the reality of it all, the anguish, carried in her words. "I don't know. I don't know where they are."

"What do you mean you don't know where they are?" There was concern in Vader's tone but Padmé barely acknowledged it.

Finally lifting her head, she turned glassy, tear rimmed eyes to him, noting how he stopped in his tracks and stared at her; it was not the expression he'd been expecting. She wasn't crying, but that hard fought composure was cracking under his simple question.

"I don't know! When I woke from my coma they were gone. And no one would tell me where they were!"

"They? Padmé, what are you talking about?" Vader was so focused on the whereabouts of his child that he didn't comprehend the meaning of her words.

Looking away, she turned her gaze to the viewport, but not seeing it. Instead she saw the cold medical facility she'd awoke inside - only to discover that her children were missing and no one would tell her where they'd been taken. Swallowing down the lump in her throat, she forced the explanation between her lips. "Their birth pushed me into the coma. When I woke…Luke and Leia were gone."

Vader stared at her stunned; his reflection showed the slack jawed surprise she'd never before see on him. Her words had thrown him for a loop, completely blindsiding him and rendering him at a loss for words of his own. Finally, his confusion evident, he repeated her last statement. "…Luke and Leia?"

"I had twins." Vader's eyes widened and even in his reflection it was blatantly obvious. Padmé continued, not really seeing it or the effect her story was having, but instead seeing the indistinct faces of her children as she'd given them their names. Faces that had faded over time to a blurry memory and it made her heart lurch painfully. "One of each. The girl you wanted …and a little boy."

Behind her, elation surged through Vader as her words finally registered, their meaning clear. The rush of emotion was swift and so consuming it was almost physically painful as joy radiated through his being. Twins! Padmé and he were parents to Twins! Unable to contain his excitement, he spoke without thinking - without thought to her current mood. "Twins. Luke and Leia. I can't believe- Padmé that's-"

The sad, desolate look on Padmé's face stopped him as her lips trembled and she blinked back the tears on her lashes. In his excitement he'd moved to her side, wanting to share with her the delight of being a parent. But they were parents without their children and the effect it was having on her was devastating.

His elation waned as the truth of her words finally sank in. "You don't know where they are."

Padmé shook her head. "They were taken from me."

"By whom?"

There was no mistaking the anger in his growled words, or the promise for retribution.

"The Alliance."

The bitterness in her words spoke volumes more than those simple words - and it gave Vader yet one more reason to hate the traitors. They'd sheltered his wife, helped her birth his children and had the gall to take them from their mother. This was the unforgiveable sin Asajj spoke of but knew nothing about. The revelation sent a pang of agony through Vader's heart, but he knew it was nothing compared to Padmé's. He could see why she refused to join them. They had betrayed her. No matter her condition at the time, they had no right to take their children!

"The Alliance," Vader said the name with malice in his voice. "They dare to show defiance to the Empire and now I find out they've taken our children?! They'll pay dearly for that." A nearby Nabooian vase shattered, causing Padmé to jump in her seat and look at him in shock. Vader met her gaze grimly, seeking to reassure her, even as he mentally began planning a campaign against the traitors. "I swear to you, Padmé, I'll find the ones who took Luke and Leia; I'll find them and bring them home."

Something in the way he said it jarred Padmé, drawing her completely from her grief stricken stupor and back to herself. Vader searching for her children; finding her children; raising her children. Home? She almost laughed - there was no home for him to bring them to, just a prison cell where their mother was kept at the whim and whimsy of their father.

How could he even think to bring her children into such an atmosphere? How could he even think she wanted him anywhere near her precious babies? How could he believe that she wanted them to grow up here, in reach of his influence, in reach of his Master? The thought angered and terrified her all at the same time. Protectiveness swelled inside her, the instincts of a mother protecting her young and her denial came out harshly.

"No!"

"No? What do you mean no?"

Padmé's mental defenses snapped back into place as she rose to her feet to face him, crossing her arms over her chest in defiance. "I don't want you searching for them."

"What?!" He stared at her as if she'd lost her mind. "Why the hell not?"

Tilting her chin at him, she was tempted to rip into him, to vent her suffering and anguish, but the wounds she'd been fighting that morning were still too fresh. The time wasn't right and she was in no shape for this fight. If he said even one cruel thing to her regarding their - her - children, she'd break.

"Padmé..." her name was a warning growl on his lips. "You'd best explain yourself."

"I don't want you searching for them."

Her eyes spat fire, but some of her vulnerability must have shown through as Vader did the completely unexpected. His posture eased, the anger seeming to drain away as he looked at her. Reaching out, his finger tips brushed the curve of her cheek and gently caressed the soft skin, making her tremble. To her horror tears flooded her eyes and she tilted her chin that much further to prevent their fall. Vader touch shifted, down to the stubborn line of her jaw.

He stood watching her, saying nothing and finally faintly smiled. "Twins, Padmé... I never dreamed..."

A tumultuous smile answered him, even as if was shadowed with grief. In that moment - with their eyes locked - Vader seemed to melt away and leave Anakin in his place - and they were in perfect accord. Husband and wife marveling over the miracle that had been their children.

But it couldn't last.

Padmé came back to herself with a jolt and tore her face away, turning her back on him. "I don't want you searching for them."

"Padmé..."

"No!" Her whole body tensed as she wrapped her arms about herself - either to ward off a sudden chill or protect herself from him. "No."

Vader decided to try another tactic - upsetting her about retrieving the twins at this stage wouldn't get him the information he needed to being searching. And search he would, no matter what Padmé wanted. Just looking at her, remembering her desolate posture when he'd entered the lounge had been enough to warn him of the sensitivity of the topic. "When you said the Alliance took Luke and Leia. Exactly what do you mean by that?"

Not turning his way, he watched as Padmé took a deep breath to steady herself before finally answering. "It's none of your business."

"It is my business. I'm their father."

Her fists clenched around her upper arms, the knuckles turning white, her response tight. "No, you're not. Anakin is."

"I'm not playing games with you," he told her flatly, deliberately ignoring the jibe. "Tell me what happened. I want to know."

Padmé glanced over to see his face and the vulnerability she'd felt earlier disappeared. Just looking at him - thinking about it and why her babies had been stolen - was enough to make her blood boil. Going on the attack, she railed at him, losing the anger and guilt she'd felt since waking to find her babies gone - and why.

"Fine, I'll tell you. You turned to the Dark Side. The 'Hero With No Fear' became a Sith Lord and helped destroy the Republic! The 'Chosen One' turned on the Jedi and slaughtered them! You turned on everything you swore to protect and helped Palpatine build an Empire. Because of that my children were taken away from me. I was told it was done to protect them, to keep them safe from you and your Master."

"Safe from me?" Vader said, shocked and affronted by Padmé's words. "I would never harm them. They're my children. The Alliance dares to hide them from me. What fools-"

"Hide them from you?!" Padmé retorted harshly. "My children are gone and I had no say in the matter. I didn't even get a chance to hold them! I don't remember what they look like. I saw glimpses of their faces but now it's nothing but a blur. They were taken away without anyone asking me what I wanted. The Alliance didn't care that I wanted them back, that I wanted to raise them. I even offered to go into hiding so I could be with them. I was told no; it was too dangerous. That you might find us."

Her words were pointed barbs that found their mark regardless of if he deserved them or not. The audacity, to think she could hide from him - to think she could hide their children from him - made his blood boil. "The Alliance is right about that," he informed her darkly, leaving no doubt to his sincerity. "I would find you. If it meant tearing apart every star system in the galaxy I'd find you."

Chills ran down her spine at the implication of Vader's words. Dreading the answer, she turned her question into an accusation. "That's what you plan on doing."

"If it finds Luke and Leia; yes."

"NO! Don't you dare!" Her instruction was furious and her eyes blazed righteous fire as she stood up to him, leaving no doubt to her wishes. "I don't want you looking for them. You have no right. You've ruined enough lives, don't you dare ruin anymore. Luke and Leia don't deserve to have that on their hands. They're only babies!"

"What Luke and Leia deserve is to be here with us."

"What they deserve is their father, not this monster he's become."

Vader crossed his arms over his chest, smirking. "If you feel the need to call me names, go ahead. You acknowledge me as their father."

"I acknowledge Anakin Skywalker as their father, not Darth Vader."

Shaking his head, Vader chuckled, his good humor restored by her comment - and her inadvertent admission; at least there was no doubt she knew him for who he'd been. "You actually amuse me, Padmé. I'm no more a monster than you are a terrorist."

"I'm trying to bring freedom to this galaxy. You're helping enslave it. That's not the kind of man I want my children to have as a father. I hate the Alliance for taking Luke and Leia away from me and I will never forgive them for it. But the one good thing that has come out of this is knowing my children are safe from you!"

Unaccountably stung by her sharp accusation, he lashed back angrily, refusing to let her see she'd scored a hit. "I'd never harm my children. I would do everything I could to make sure they are safe."

"Would you?" Padmé asked pointedly. "Would you really be able to? Would you be able to keep them safe from your Master? Who knows what he would do if he found out about them." The idea of Palpatine ever having access to her children sent icy cold fingers of fear and dread through her body and she trembled violently at the sensation. "I don't even want to think about it, the thought terrifies me so much. Would you keep them safe from the Dark Side? Safe from you?" Vader's eyes narrowed. "I know all about the blood you have on your hands. Do you really think I'm going to let that anywhere near my children?"

"We'll see what's allowed near them once they're found."

His dark pronouncement was accompanied by a sudden turn as he strode angrily away, heading for the door to their suite. Alarmed and more than a little terrified by it, Padmé raced after him. "What do you mean by that?"

Vader's long strides continued to eat up the distance between the lounge and the door, but he didn't answer her. A vein stood out on the side of his neck, indicative of his fury - but he said nothing.

"What do you mean by that?" Her demand came off shrill this time. "Tell me!"

The door to their quarters whisked open and Vader strode through, a silent harbinger of death and destruction. Padmé made to follow, but the Stormtrooper guards at the door blocked her way. They too were silent as she stared after Vader, certain her fear showed on her face - only to snap her head back as the door closed in front of it. Placing her hands on the door Padmé stared at it as if she could see through it, his words echoing once more around in her head and filling her with dread.

What could he have meant by that, what could he mean? He didn't think to keep her from the Twins if he did succeed in finding them, did he? Would he truly be so cruel as to keep her children from their mother? She didn't know him anymore, that much was clear, and the thought that he might find the Twins - and keep them away from her - was nigh unbearable.

Yet she was left to wait and to wonder at the import of his words, careening between certainty that he would never be so cruel to a woman he professed to love, and that the monster he'd become wouldn't think twice about it.