Hey guys.

I can't thank you enough for your messages and reviews about the last chapter. That one was very hard to write, and the next couple of ones were, as well. So it comforts me to read your responses to it, and I appreciate the people who, despite not understanding or agreeing with it, remained completely respectful. This is what I love about this fandom. Thank you. It still feels a little weird to share this chapter, like the last one, because it feels so personal.

I hope you will enjoy, regardless.

I own nothing.

The next morning, the sky was clear and the sun was so bright, it seemed like it was mocking them. How could the world look so beautiful when Burt Hummel was no longer in it? Kurt had expected dark clouds, heavy rain, not sunshine.

They all piled up into the rental car. Kurt did his best not to glance at the truck sitting on the driveway. He and his Dad had shared so many conversations in that truck, so many happy moments, and a good batch of sad ones, too. He thought about sitting at the wheel, with the windows and doors closed, so he could inhale deeply and smell his Dad again: that scent of leather, car oil, and aftershave. His heart shrunk a little in his chest.

When they arrived at the cemetery, Kurt was surprised to see Rachel, Sam and Mercedes, standing together near the entrance. He hadn't even thought of calling any of his friends last night. As soon as he was out of the car, Rachel's arms were around him.

There were a lot of his Dad's friends and extended family waiting there for him and Carole, and soon he was lost in a crowd of hugs and well-meaning words that made his head spin. He looked over someone's shoulder, trying to find Blaine, and saw he was passing Max to Sam.

Kurt stood in front of what used to be only his Mom's grave, Carole on one side, Blaine on the other, Rachel and Mercedes behind him. Sam stood apart, near the cars, with Max. His support system. The little family he had built for himself in New York, helping him say goodbye to the man who had made him who he was, the man he owed everything to.

It was a short ceremony, and later Kurt wouldn't remember much of it. He couldn't listen to the words being said about his Dad, words adorned for the occasion. No one would talk about the real things, the things that made Burt Hummel who he was. He was only conscious of the weight of Blaine's arm around him, holding him steady. He wasn't sure if he would have remained on his feet without him.

Blaine handed him a red rose. He was suddenly aware that everyone was looking at him, as if expecting something from him. It didn't take him long to catch up: he had been at too many funerals in his life. He stepped forward and looked down.

He didn't want to look at the casket. He couldn't think of his Dad inside it. He couldn't think of anything at all. He threw the rose, and reached for Blaine's hand, as if afraid he would fall in too, never to get out again.

Blaine kissed his temple and held him close. Kurt kept his eyes shut and waited for everything to be over.

People began to trickle out of the cemetery shortly after. He had to stay behind, once again receiving hugs and pats on the back, condolences. There were family members who he had never seen or hadn't been in touch with for years. Some didn't even approach him. Kurt knew his Dad had cut off some of his family from his life when Kurt came out and they didn't agree with his life choices. Kurt still remembered listening to his Dad angrily yell into the phone that he was proud of his son and if anyone had a problem with it, they could look for somewhere else to spend Christmas from now on.

His Dad had never doubted or regretted losing anyone as long as it meant Kurt was happier and safer.

Rachel dried her eyes and kissed Kurt's cheek. She didn't say anything. She didn't say I'm sorry. She didn't say He will be missed. She didn't say any of the cliché words Kurt had heard a million times. She knew better than that. She understood him in a deeper level. Instead, she gave his hand a firm squeeze and said: "I think I'm going to visit Finn, since we're here. Do you mind?"

"Of course not," Kurt said and tried to find a smile for her. "Go ahead."

"I'll go with you, Rachel," Carole wrapped her arm around Rachel's shoulders. "If you don't mind the company."

They walked away together. Mercedes also kissed Kurt's cheek, before going towards Sam. Blaine glanced at Kurt, concerned.

"Do you want to stay here a little longer? Would you like some privacy?" He asked.

Kurt closed his eyes again. He could smell the earth and the grass all around him. "No, I… I can't."

"It's okay," Blaine reassured him, always so attentive, always so wonderful. His hand found Kurt's, and their fingers tangled automatically, like it was the only natural thing to do. They began to walk towards where Sam, Mercedes and Max were waiting for them. Max immediately ran towards them, almost tripping with a tree root sticking out of the ground. "Woah! Careful there, buddy."

"Urt, Urt, Urt," Max said, extending his arms. "Up, Urt."

A little but authentic smile appeared on Kurt's face. He lifted Max and cuddled him close. He looked at Sam and Mercedes. "You two… thank you so much for coming. You really didn't have to."

"Of course we came," Mercedes said, like it was crazy to even suggest they wouldn't.

They stood under a tree and waited for Carole and Rachel. Kurt knew people would be coming over to his house, eager to share memories of Burt and spend time with him and Carole, but he wasn't looking forward to it. Before the day was over, people would go from tears to sharing funny stories about Burt, and they would all be smiling and laughing, and soon would move on to talking about things that had nothing to do with him, like what their kids were up to or the last game of their favorite football team.

They would go home at the end of the day, not feeling sad that Burt was gone anymore, while Kurt and Carole would keep the heartbreak and the house that grew emptier and emptier with every new loss.

Blaine's arm was steady around him, rooting him. Maybe he would have flown away if Blaine wasn't there. But Blaine held him, contained him, comforted him in the only was he knew how. Blaine understood what he was going through. Blaine knew what it felt like when the most important person in your life was gone.

He understood what it was like when your whole life turned on its axis and wasn't the same anymore.

Silence fell on the house like a blanket, once everyone else was gone. Kurt and Carole had been exhausted, and had already gone upstairs to bed, but Blaine was in the kitchen, holding Max and trying to get him to calm down.

It had been a difficult day for Max, full of so many strangers, old ladies pinching his cheeks, kids running around him, adults cooing at him and wanting to know who he was. It had also been difficult for Blaine, who had had to introduce himself to most of Kurt's family and receive varying grades of acceptance.

"Who are you again?" One of Kurt's uncles asked at one point, when Blaine handed him a cup of coffee.

"I'm Blaine. I'm Kurt's boyfriend," he'd said, and realized it was the first time he used that word, and wished he could give himself the time to embrace it and enjoy it.

The man had only nodded and turned away to talk to one of Carole and Burt's neighbors, like Blaine hadn't even been there in the first place.

Others had been a hell of a lot more accepting, mostly Burt's friends. Tony Lawrence, his best friend from high school who had been working at the garage with Burt since the first day, clapped Blaine on the back and said: "I've heard a lot about you. Burt said you make Kurt happy. I'm glad you're here for him."

Some even asked if Max was their son. Blaine avoided giving many details about that.

Now, as he tried to get Max to relax and stop fussing, he wondered what it would have been like a week from now, when he, Max and Kurt arrived to spend a few days with the Hummels as originally planned. Would have Burt truly liked him? Would he have approved of his son's unusual relationship once he got to know Blaine?

But now that would never happen.

Blaine thought of Kurt, of how entirely defeated he had looked that day. Blaine had seen him stress, worry, and get upset about many things in the past few months, but he had never seen him give up like that, like there was no reason to keep pushing forward. Kurt had always been, even when he was having a hard time, such a spirited person. He always found a reason to keep fighting, always wanted to strive and reach for better things. But now it was like the light inside of him had gone out.

And Blaine understood. When Cooper had died, everything had fallen on him like an avalanche. There had been moments when he didn't know if he would ever break the surface to breathe again.

He was pulled from his thoughts by Carole, who walked into the kitchen, wrapped in a robe and looking exhausted.

"Poor little Max. Is he okay?" She asked, as she went to the fridge and open it to get a bottle of water.

Blaine bounced his nephew a little bit. "He will be. It was a very odd day for him." He watched her as she took a seat at the kitchen table. "Can't sleep?"

"The bed's too big," she said with a sad little smile. "I guess it'll take some getting used to."

"Is there anything I can do? We could set up a mattress somewhere?" He asked. He didn't dare suggest Finn's room.

"I'm fine," she assured him. "Just need a moment."

Max burrowed his face into the crook of Blaine's neck, his little hands in fists.

"You were so wonderful to us today, Blaine," Carole said. "You didn't have to go through all the trouble of dealing with our crazy family or taking over all the arrangements."

"I wanted to," Blaine replied, readjusting Max in his arms. "I needed to do something for Kurt and for you."

Carole sighed. "How is Kurt doing? I barely could spend time with him today. I should have been there for him."

"You were busy, and you're grieving too, Carole," he murmured. Max was beginning to quiet down a bit. "He's not doing all that well. I've never seen him like this. I know it's understandable, but… you know, it still pains me to see him so lost, so broken. What he and his Dad had was so special."

"It really was," Carole nodded slowly. "Burt was such a great father. He was a great father to Finn, too. I still remember when I first started dating him, and Finn wasn't too thrilled about it. But Burt won him over, taking him to football games, letting him talk about girls and sports in a way he never could with me. They got so close, it was beautiful to watch. And Kurt… well, they had been alone for so long before I married Burt. They were a tiny family, but a tight one. Kurt leaned on him so much when things were difficult at school, especially after he came out."

"He was lucky to have him," Blaine said, unable to avoid the wistfulness that crept into his voice, remembering his own parents.

Carole looked at him quizzically, as if inviting him to tell her more, but Blaine knew it was not the right time.

"I'm worried about him," he admitted after a few seconds of silence. "I'm scared he won't be able to move on from this kind of pain. I know he's strong. God, he must be the strongest person I've ever met. But losing that bond… I can't even imagine what that must feel like. I had a similar relationship with my brother, Cooper. But there's something so much deeper about what Kurt and Burt had."

"It will be definitely difficult," Carole said, wrapping her hands around her water bottle. "He'll need you, and Max, and me, and everyone else to give him time to heal. But also he'll need us not to give up on him. You know, I was with Burt practically the whole time. I saw him the last few days. He didn't look good. His health had been bad for a very long time. And I hate that I lost him, but I knew it was going to happen, sooner rather than later. I had time to prepare, but Kurt didn't. Kurt only saw him every few months, and most of those times Burt tried to look like everything was fine, because he wanted to enjoy time with his son without worrying him. I know they had some sort of conversation when Kurt was here for Christmas, but I don't know exactly what they said to each other."

"He told me Burt wasn't doing okay," Blaine said, remembering the conversation they'd had on New Year's Eve. "And then he had that heart attack, and I think it somehow made things even more real for him, but still he couldn't accept the idea of losing him."

"We're never ready," Carole whispered, and there was old pain in her voice. "I have a little practice, you know. This is the second time I go through this. First Christopher, now Burt. Losing your husband… well, it's hard to put your life back together after that. But losing your child…" She shook her head, and Blaine saw the tears gathering in her eyes. "That's something I'll never come back from."

Blaine looked down at Max, who had finally fallen asleep in his arms. Max wasn't his son, but he loved him as if he was. He raised him as if he was. He couldn't imagine losing him. He couldn't even begin to fathom the grieve Carole must have felt losing Finn, what it still cost her every single day.

"You know as well as I do how easy it is to give up after someone you love dies," Carole said. "Please don't let Kurt give up. Please remind him there's so much more worth living for." She stood up, slowly. "I would do it myself, but… it may take me a while to remember as well."

"I won't ever let him give up," Blaine said fiercely. "I haven't even told him this yet, but… Carole, I love him. I love him more than I've ever thought I could love. He and Max are everything to me, and I… I wish I could have told Burt this, but I plan to take care of him and make him happy for many, many years to come."

Carole paused at the doorway and smiled at Blaine. "Burt would have loved that."

Even though he hadn't known Burt well, Blaine knew she was right.

Sam, Rachel and Mercedes went back to New York the following day, but Blaine and Max stayed. For a day or two, nothing extraordinary happened: mostly they hung out around the house, trying to keep sadness at bay, and failing most of the time.

Blaine made sure there was always food in case Kurt wanted to eat, though he kept losing his appetite after three or four bites. It looked like holding Max was the only thing that made him smile even briefly, so Blaine made them spend as much time together as possible, and hoped his nephew was the kind of medicine Kurt's heart needed.

Kurt didn't talk much. He seemed to be trying to figure something out, and Blaine gave him all the space he could. At night, Kurt held on tight to him, his head on Blaine's chest, and let him hold him until he fell asleep. He seemed to be clinging to him as if letting go meant the world around him would crumble. Blaine had no trouble at all holding him for as long as Kurt needed him to. He had no trouble being whatever Kurt needed him to be, until he was healed enough to stand for himself and go back to being the fabulous and lively man Blaine had always known and loved.

Four days after the funeral, Blaine walked into Kurt's room at night, toweling his hair dry, wearing pajamas and ready to collapse in bed next to Kurt. Max was already asleep on the small cot next to the bed, which Blaine had dragged from the basement a couple of days ago. Kurt was sitting against the headboard, looking thoughtful. Usually, when Blaine came into the room at night, Kurt was already under the covers, his back to the door, staring out the window.

"Hey," Blaine said, glad there was some change. "The water pressure here is so divine, I think I might be ready to give up New York altogether."

Kurt's lips moved as if he was trying to smile, but didn't. "You must be exhausted of running around all day taking care of all of us. You really shouldn't have to. I'm sorry I haven't been more help."

Blaine sat on the bed, dropped the towel on his lap and reached for Kurt's hand. "Kurt, don't be silly. You know I understand what you're going through. I wouldn't expect you to do anything differently. Just take your time, and I'll be here to help you as much as I can."

Kurt sighed. "I actually think you should go back to New York."

Blaine blinked in confusion. That was the last thing he expected. "What?"

"I'm going to need some time," Kurt said slowly. "There's so much to do here, so many things that need closure. Carole will need some help, and there's the garage, and the hospital bills…"

"I still don't understand why that means I have to leave," Blaine replied, trying to sound reasonable. "Kurt, don't do the same thing you did last time. There's no need for it now. I can be here for you."

"I promise, that's not what I'm doing," Kurt said, squeezing Blaine's hand. "Trust me, I wish things were different. But you can't stay here forever. Max can't stay here forever."

"You won't stay here forever," Blaine said, looking at him meaningfully. "Don't make it sound like you will."

"Look, I don't know what I'm going to do." Kurt seemed even more tired than he had the past few days. "All I know is that there is stuff I need to take care of. I can't just dump everything on Carole. And I need to sort out some things for myself as well. You know what it's like to not get any closure, to just lose someone out of the blue. I think I need to spend some time here, and think about my Dad, and try to be okay with this very not okay thing."

"I can respect that," Blaine said, nodding slowly, wearily. "I still don't get why it sounds like you're breaking up with me, though."

"I'm not," Kurt said, closing his eyes and sighing again. "I just need some time, Blaine. That's all."

Blaine felt a kind of tightness in his chest that meant he wasn't all that sure Kurt was saying the truth. The kind of tightness that anticipated heartbreak. "Kurt, I want you to deal with this however you think will be best for you. I'm just worried you're making the wrong decision for the wrong reasons."

"Please," Kurt whispered, and that word nearly brought Blaine to tears. "This is no place for Max right now. He's absorbing all the sadness from me and Carole. And I really do need to deal with stuff, especially the garage. And I need to spend time with Carole. She's lost two husbands and a son. I can't even begin to try to understand what she must feel."

"So what you're saying is that you need family time," Blaine murmured. It stung. It stung so badly he could hardly breathe. "I get it. I'll book a flight back in the morning. But Kurt… the moment you want us here, you call me, and I'll be on the first plane back. Do you hear me?"

"I hear you," Kurt said, and leaned in to kiss Blaine's lips. He pressed their foreheads together. "Don't think I want to be apart from you. That's not what this is about. I just really need time to figure out some things."

"Okay," Blaine said, and held him tight against him.

It still felt like a break up.

Thank you all for reading, and I'll be seeing you next week!

L.-