Thanks everybody. This is the BONUS update. It is silly but you know how I love to torture a certain Former Old Republic Jedi, so I couldn't resist. I thought I would post it now since it chronologically occurs before the actual Epilogue that will become the last chapter. I should have that up within the week. I am still looking it over.
Thanks everybody for reading. And a special thanks for those who reviewed. I appreciate your comments. I realize my fanfics are not of the normal variety, so they are not to everybody's taste. It is nice to see that some people like my stories.
~JL~
~~~Somewhere in deep space~~~
Once again Emperor Palpatine found himself no longer tethered by a human body and drifting through the Flow of the Force. He cursed the day he took Anakin Skywalker as his apprentice. He should have killed him when he was just a whiny youngling at the Temple. But he didn't and now Vader's Sith-spawn children had become the bane of his existence.
The Emperor reached out, searching for a Force strong body that he could inhabit. Eventually he felt a familiar presence—the Emperor's Hand. He would rather take over the body of a male, but this would do. The redheaded woman slept soundly, completely unaware of the danger approaching. Until it was too late. The Emperor's Force energy surged into the woman's petite body. There was a struggle for control, but in the end Palpatine was the victor.
He rolled out of the bed and looked into a mirror over a dresser. He ran his hands down the woman's curves admiring his new body…until he felt something odd. "What's this?" He looked over the cybernetic limbs and parts in shock. He knew Lumiya was injured during the Rebellion and had to have some cybernetic work done, but never realized it was this pronounced.
"Well at least her brain is functional." Palpatine said as he rummaged through the thoughts of the former Emperor's Hand.
"Oh, what the frack!" the Emperor cringed. "What is it with the Emperor's Hands and Skywalker? I can't believe he kriffed both of my Hands!" He shuddered at the thought.
"What's the huge attraction?" He searched through Lumiya's mind for an answer. "Okay, I do admit he is well toned…and… oh I see..." The Emperor shook his head in frustration. "I used to hear Yoda tell younglings at the Jedi Temple, 'Size matters not'…kriffin' liar."
"This is not going to work! I can't live with these disturbing images floating around in my head. " He pulled his Force essence from the woman's body and Lumiya dropped to the floor dazed and confused.
Palpatine surge out of her quarters and back to the Flow of the Force. He continued his search for a strong Force signature in the galaxy. He didn't know how long he looked for a new body; time had no meaning to him. Eventually he found himself attracted to the planet Pzob. As he neared the world he realized the strong Force presence didn't come from the planet but an asteroid orbiting nearby. Upon closer inspection he realized it was the Eye of Palpatine. A Force user was within his large battle-ready space station? He surged into the space station and quickly pounced upon the source of the strong Force presence.
It took the Emperor a moment to realize he wasn't in a human body. He wasn't in a body at all.
"What the kriff!" He was in the computer system of the Eye. What attracted him to this place?
**Who's there?** A voice popped into his head.
"It is Emperor Palpatine. Who the kriff are you!"
**Jedi Callista. I have been trapped in this computer system for decades.**
Palpatine groaned in frustration. He was weak and needed to rest before he could leave this realm and still maintain his Force integrity. "I guess we're stuck with each other for a while."
~1 year later~
**Aren't you strong enough to leave yet?** Callista asked.
"Do you think I would be here in this Force-forsaken computer for another second if I could leave?"
**You don't have to yell at me.**
"Ahhh…sorry, it's just the boredom getting to me…and also I'm Sith and naturally evil."
**If you are bored, then let's play a game. I spy with my optical sensors…something green.**
"Is it a Gammorean?"
**Yes, you are very good.**
"For Sithsake you do the same thing for green every time."
~2 years Later~
"Come on, can't you just tell me what you were wearing before you died?"
**I told you, Jedi Robes.**
"Yes, yes I know, but what color was your underwear?"
**I'm not answering that question.**
"You know I'll continue asking you until you relent."
**Fine, they were white.**
"Low cut or high waist?"
**High waist**
"Pity. Guess what I wear."
**I really don't want to know.**
"I got all the time in the world and you know I won't stop bothering you until you ask."
**Okay, boxers or briefs?**
"Neither! Ha! I go commando under those robes. I can't have my boys getting too hot. I think that is how I ended up with Triclops—that monstrosity I call a son—if he was even mine. The kid had an eye growing in the back of his head. Have you ever seen that type of mutation in a human? Never…but I had to have a son unique in that way. I told him if he lets his hair grow out he probably could do a comb over on that eye, but noooo, he doesn't listen to me his father."
**Can you please delete my personality from the computer system? This is too much.**
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AUTHOR NOTE: The final chapter will be up soon. It is the epilogue to this story. You can continue to read about the adventures of Mark Tantiss by checking out my Diary Challenge Fanfic called "THE JOURNAL OF MARK TANTISS." Thanks everybody for reading!
~JL~