Chapter 25: With You

note: Thanks for reviewing ladies!

note: Red Shoes Diaries was an infamous series on Showtime Cable in the 90's that showed soft core sexual fantasy sequences. Many a youngster sneaked a peek or two when their parents were out of the house...lol

Edward:

It was sixteen minutes until midnight when we got back to her room. We had just wasted almost two hours in the car parking lot playing multiple rounds of "Who Would You Rather?" together, with the "Full House Edition" being the highlight of the game. Our conversation was strained in the beginning as we drove back to her dorm; however, after we got some much needed bantering time in, we were back to our true and proper form. Teasing and playful.

"Well, these boots are turning into pumpkins very quickly, Edward. Better make your wish come true now before it's too late." We had both decided in the last hour that each of us could be granted one wish each from the other. And I decided not to hold back with the one wish I truly wanted.

She was fumbling for the lights in moonlighted darkness when I stopped her. I gently pushed Bella's shoulders against the closed door, leaving the rest of her body sticking out at an incline. "Do you trust me, Bella?"

She nodded, but looked a little nervous that I would ask that in the first place.

"I promise I'm not going to do anything to you that will be out of line, okay?"

"'Kay." She bit her lip however, and concentrated on me as I slowly got onto on one bended knee in front of her, keeping eye contact with her the whole time. I finally broke our gaze as I spread my flexed hands on both sides of her outer thighs. They fell right upon the bottom hem of her dress, and slowly began to raise it. Her breathing hitched and her hands reflexively came down to mine in protest. I looked back up.

"I promise Bella. Nothing out of line." She put her hands back to her side, but I could see them slightly shaking.

I continued raising the dress slowly past her hips, exposing her lace panties I had gotten a glimpse of earlier this evening. She gasped softly.

"Bella, you are so beautiful..." It was an understatement. I'd never seen her look more alluring than at that moment, as she looked down at me. Once my hands moved the dress up to her waist, they stopped. I looked up at her while maintaining my position on bended knee.

"Bella, that day in the tattoo parlor, I kept trying to be a gentleman by not looking down at your exposed hip area. But I couldn't stop from peeking. Over and over again."

She giggled almost silently. "I didn't think anything could get a bigger response from me that day. But then I saw your Clover tattoo on the side of your hip, and it drove me crazy, Bella. I've wanted to touch it so badly, and I've never gotten a chance to." I paused, letting a sly smile escape." Do you remember me mouthing something at James the night of his birthday at your work?"

She nodded.

"I was mouthing for him to never touch your tattoo again. It may be wrong of me to think this way, but I feel like I should have first dibs on touching it before anyone else."

She smiled warmly while my thumbs gently rubbed against her waist.

"That's my wish, Bella. To touch that damn Lucky Charms Clover finally, and those hips that tempted me the whole time I was getting my tattoo." She took in a deep breath as my right hand lowered and began rubbing her hip bone. My lips pressed against the same area lightly. Her muscles tensed on contact. I hadn't planned it, but suddenly my lips had a mind of their own. They began to land small kisses across her waist while making their way to the other hip; all the while, my hands held an uncompromising grip on her hips. I looked up as I was leaving my trail, and her flushed face was watching my every move. Bella's lips were slightly parted and looking even more plump than usual in the moonlight. By the time I reached her other hip, my breathing was labored and I was leaving goosebumps on her skin with each unsteady exhaling. I was determined to behave myself, but it was proving harder than I imagined. I gripped her hips even harder, almost willing my hands not to wander like they wanted to.

Once I got to her tattoo, my lips parted reflexively. I kissed the clover slowly and then backed up to prove to her that I wouldn't misbehave. But I wasn't satisfied-within a couple seconds I was swooping back down for seconds. When I made contact, I pressed firmly against the clover and began sucking it softly. She smelled so good, and yet her skin tasted even better. I couldn't stop myself from licking her skin directly with my tongue.

Her body reacted instantly to me-her hips jutted out slightly but abruptly while her chest stiffened outward. "Edward..." her breathy voice made me pause for a second-until her hands wrapped around my hair, pushing me closer into her skin. I began to suck more firmly, urgently. My hands were losing the battle to stay put--they started lingering towards her backside slowly, the contours of her panties guiding the way for them easily. As my hands began to reach their destination, I knew I had to stop now or else regret asking Bella if she trusted me..

I pushed off her quickly. My breath was jagged as I pulled down her dress down swiftly and moved backwards with my arms extended to the side to show that I wasn't going to pounce her--at least not repeatedly. "I'm sorry, Bella, I'm so sorry..."

"Why do you have your arms out to the side like you just got caught by the police for a robbing a bank?" She looked down at me, still breathing heavy herself, but flashing a brilliant, forgiving smile. I jumped up and hugged her-I didn't care if I came off looking like an overeager puppy in that moment. I had never been more grateful for her ability to diffuse a tense moment with her humor.

Bella:

"Wow, that's a hard act to follow," I joked as he jumped on my bed, gleeful with anticipation to see what I had in store for him. The only problem was, I wasn't joking. After Edward effortlessly pulled off the most singularly sexy moment of my entire lifetime, I felt suddenly inadequate. What I fantasized about seemed so limited in comparison.

"I highly doubt that, vixen." He winked at me expectantly. He was making me feel more insecure by the second. What was I doing with him? It didn't make sense when I started thinking about it. We were so different. Tonight only underscored that. And especially in this moment, I felt in over my head. I started thinking about his nickname, and how he "earned" it. Who he must have earned it with--girls with experience on how to affect someone like Edward.

"Earth to Bella..." I looked up suddenly and sighed.

"Edward, can I be honest with you?"

"Of course!" He patted his lap, motioning me to sit. I plopped down on top of him.

"I don't want to be anyone but myself. I hate putting on airs."

He looked at me with confusion. "And that's a good thing, right?"

"Mmmmm...I'm not sure when I'm with you sometimes."

He scrunched his face. "Explain." He kissed my forehead and then rested his head on my shoulder, waiting for me to elaborate.

"Just right now is a perfect example. We are wanting to to share our fantasies and wishes, right? You pull off some "Red Shoes Diaries" entry in under 2 minutes flat. And I don't want to feel this way, but I do Edward-like I feel some pressure to be all sexy for you now when I really have no clue what the hell to do since I have next to zip experience in this area..."

Edward's confusion on his face was apparent."Woah, this isn't a competition Bella. I don't want you to be anything but yourself. That's what I love about you." He paused and then looked at me incredulously." And I'm sorry, but aren't you the same girl who had me shuffling around on my knees like a fearful dog while you had your leg extended up by your ear a couple hours earlier?" He started laughing loudly at that thought. "Bella, you are the sexiest girl I've ever been around. I have no clue what you are even getting at-"

I stopped him with a raised finger. "I'm getting at the fact, Edward, that you've had alot of experience before me. With girls who had experience. And right now when I'm suppossed to let loose some fantasy about you, I'm feeling a little...less-than." I couldn't articulate it any better than that, but I wasn't sure he'd understand.

Edward suddenly stiffened and seized my shoulders with his hands. "Bella, never think like that. Promise me.." He raised my chin with his index finger. "You could simply put your head on my shoulder and it would drive me crazy. You don't really get how you affect me, Bella. Ask anyone who knows me well, I've never reacted to anyone like this before." He began nuzzling my neck and I broke out begrudingly with a smile. "So, on with the wish, Shorty."

"It's shawty, white boy."I jumped off the bed with a giggle and put on the radio. "I need some white noise." Some sugary sweet pop ballad came on, giving me a toothache instantly.

"I need you boo..."

We both looked at eachother, and started cracking up. I self consciously got back onto the bed and straddled myself onto his lap. He quickly assumed a more serious demeanor. Wrapping his arms around my waist, he sighed, "If this was the extent of your fantasy, this would be more than enough for me."

I rolled my eyes. "Stop being such a kiss ass." He chuckled.

"My wish is pretty straight forward Edward. The first time I shook your hand when we met eachother, I had this weird, inexplicable need to touch your face. It freaked me out so much I left the room within fifteen seconds of meeting. That's my wish, I just want to touch your face, uninterrupted and unhurried." I heard how absolutely uninteresting and pathetic that sounded, so I added sarcastically, "Sorry in advance, just in case you were hoping my fantasy was to give you some mind numbing blow job instead."

He slapped my thigh and scolded me: "Shut up. You are ruining the mood."

I sighed. "You are putting way too much of a buildup here for simply touching your face. This is going to be completely anti-climatic."

--

Edward:

"Every kiss, and every hug, you make me fall in love,"

The words to some super sweet pop ballad played in the background; and yet it seemed oddly appropriate as I looked at Bella, and she looked back at me. She was dressed like a vixen; I was glad those boots were only on loan, they were too sexy for her own good. Her dress could pass for a top on a regular day. Her eyes were smokey and mysterious-her hair jagged and falling into her face seductively. But when I looked at her face, her expressions, I saw the real Bella. The Bella underneath all the sarcasm and sexy boots and assertions of jaded worldiness. The real Bella looked like a young, innocent, beautiful girl who was asking me silently if she could trust me. She wanted to reach out to me, but needed me to reassure her. So I did. I brushed her cheek softly with my fingers and then nodded.

She scooted slightly farther up onto my lap, looking at me intently now. Her stare was so clear and penetrating, I wanted to look away. I didn't want her to see right through me. I knew if she saw everything I was, and had been, she would be a fool not to run the other way. And I wanted her to stay right where she was; not just right now, but tomorrow and the next day as well. Past that, I didn't want to push my luck.

That was the worst part of wanting Bella. I worried with each new revelation and detail of my past, Bella would decide I wasn't worth it, cut her losses, and walk away. She was capable of doing that, if she needed to. I looked down, not wanting to meet her gaze. But she softly lifted up my chin with her finger and smiled sweetly. It wasn't just a benign smile-it spoke so much more as it reached all the way up to her eyes. In that moment, I knew she COULD see right through me. She could see what I was, what I was trying to be, how I wasn't quite there still. And yet, she still smiled back at me. I couldn't look away, even if I wanted to, as she leaned in more closely.

--

Bella:

Edward's sudden dose of shyness made me feel less pathetic. I lifted his chin slightly and smiled, letting him know it was okay. I knew how embarrassed he had been tonight when his past collided with his attempts at being "New and Improved Edward." I had a good laugh at his expense, but it had been a form of self preservation too. If I was honest, the fact that he had such a past stung me greatly. But in this moment, as I looked into his eyes, and he held his breath as I leaned in closer, his past didn't matter to me. What mattered most was what he had shown me in the past month: patience, regret, humility, true friendship and care. All I felt in that moment was gratitude for having him in my life. Emmett told me I would know when it was time to show Edward grace, to let him know I was ready to let him be the person I wanted him to be. And to not condemn him as the person I thought he could only amount to when I judged him by his past. It was time.

I lifted the back of my bended fingers to his face and gently rubbed them up and down on his cheek. He closed his eyes and turned his whole head into my carress. Edward looked like a little boy in that moment and I let out soft giggle. His eyes opened, questioningly, and I shook my head. I flipped my hand and let both sets of finger tips start to memorize his face. They started out on opposite sides of his jaw, trailed up his cheekbones, over his forehead, and then onto his hair. As I massaged his head softly and he let out a small shiver, he finally looked up at me. I couldn't read his eyes exactly, but they looked full of something; feelings or emotion maybe, but what kind? I wasn't sure. I hoped I wasn't making him uncomfortable.

While one hand continued massaging his scalp, I dragged my thumb down the middle of his forehead and annoyingly straight nose. When I let my thumb rest softly on his bottom lip while cupping his jaw, he exhaled unevenly as his lips parted. I rubbed his bottom lip lightly, and he kissed it softly in return, his eyes still watching me intently. My thumb continued to drag downward lightly over his jaw and down his neck while my lips reached out to his. He closed his eyes on contact. The kiss lasted only a couple of seconds before I quickly lifted up and had my lips meet each of his eyes with a kiss. It was then that I felt some moisture. Not alot, but enough to feel a slightly salty taste on my lips as I licked them. I sat back slightly, trying to look more carefully.

"Are those tears?"

He didn't answer-he just kept his eyes closed.

"Are you crying?"

He still didn't respond. I had to say something to get him to react.

"Crap, you're upset cause you really wished I had given you a blow job instead, huh?"

He burst out laughing, shaking his head. With his eyes still closed, he responded, "Quite the opposite actually. I couldn't ask for anything better than what you are doing right now. It's overwhelming, how it feels. How you feel on me. I wish you hadn't stopped..."

I grimaced silghtly, "Then why..." I trailed off. I didn't think I needed to say "cry" for the fourth time in one minute.

He slowly opened one eye with the other one still scrunched as he softly whispered: "Just feeling a little less-than myself right now."

I swooped in for another soft kiss while I cupped both hands on his cheeks.

I mentally took a snapshot of his face at that moment-his smile was so joyful and happy, and it made my heart almost break to know I had been the reason for bringing it out. I didn't even think at that moment-I simply leaned down and kissed him again-and I didn't rush away this time. His lips responded so sweetly, trying to convey his intentions toward me. It didn't feel like a means to an end--like a starting point to try to deepen the kiss. Instead, he pressed his lips softly yet firmly against mine, moving when I moved, slowing when I slowed. But his lips were not going to let go, that was apparent. If the kiss was going to be broken, it would have to be from my end.

And I broke it eventually. I silently got off my bed and threw back my sheets and blanket. He followed suit, standing up on the side of my bed, waiting for me to give him a cue on what I wanted him to do next. I unzipped my boots and stepped out of them. Then I motioned him into my bed. He didn't say anything-he slipped his shoes off and slid in. I slid in next, scooting back until I came into contact with his chest. And his arms-they wrapped around me automatically at my waist. I lifted his hand up to my mouth and kissed it gently. He began to nuzzle the nape of my neck while I continued to hum the song on the radio. It was the last thing I remembered doing before morning sunbeams trickled onto my face and woke me up. I was momentarily disoriented, but looked down-- to find Edward's hands were still clasped together around my waist, even though he was fast asleep.

I whispered outloud to help myself process the possibility: "He isn't going to let go."

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