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Twenty-Five.
Chase was torn. Concentrating had never been difficult a feat for him previously, but at the moment he couldn't get his mind to settle on that one task he had to do. It frustrated him since his goal was simple: transfer all of the files that they had retrieved from Douglas' system into the flash drive his father had given him then switch the mission specialist desk into sleep mode to allow it to cool down. Yet, he couldn't even do that. At least not as quickly as he wished. His mind kept drifting into different directions, particularly to the conversation he had with his younger brother and to the girl who was currently sitting down near the capsules, working in silence to put away the laptop and the components she had used in helping them.
His talk with Leo went well. They weren't really able to speak with each other at first when he and Bree came to his room since Bree took the first turn. After their mother left them, it became apparent to him that his older sister wanted to discuss something with his brother but couldn't do so freely because he was there. Taking the cue from the awkward pauses, he decided to leave them for a while so Bree could say what she wanted to say.
Nearly an hour later, he came back to the room and found Bree sitting by Leo, both of them embracing each other with smiles on their faces.
After a few jokes and a brief exchange between the three of them, Bree left, giving her brothers the opportunity to talk.
Chase knew that his parents and his older brother hadn't been very easy on Leo, so he decided to acknowledge it. That way, he wouldn't feel like no one wanted him back. They're glad to see you, you know, he had told him. You just slept through that part.
Yeah. I woke up when they're already mad at me, Leo said with a sad smile.
Chase looked at him with pity then. He was moved afterwards to reassure his brother that those ill feelings wouldn't last.
Since the simulation from days ago had allowed them to talk about the deeper things that resulted from everything that had happened, Chase found that their conversation leaned towards more casual topics. He asked Leo about the six months he was away, what had happened. He let him talk. Once or twice, he laughed as his brother recounted some of the strange people (hackers, mostly) who he encountered during their travels around the country. He smiled when Leo told him that he was in the same city as they were during the rescue mission at the collapsed mine and that he almost came there to see them.
His gut churned when he learned that his brother had nearly been victimized by a criminal, almost shipped off to a place where no one would ever find him.
What about you? Leo asked before finishing his own account. What had you been doing these past six months? I mean, besides…you know.
So he told him. He talked about everything – Stanford, his new friends. He talked about the car their father gave him for his graduation. When Leo asked, he answered in detail about Ayanna's knowledge of their family secret. He expressed his confidence in her, because he truly didn't think that Ayanna was the type of person who would betray their trust.
He also mentioned Mathai. He talked about their hopeful beginning and how that abruptly and humiliatingly ended.
When he voiced his dismay over losing the only girl who liked him, he saw an odd look on Leo's face. It seemed as if he knew something that he didn't. What, he prompted.
Leo just shrugged. So, she thought Torrance was your girlfriend, huh.
Chase felt a thump on his chest. He willed himself not to blush.
If Leo saw his embarrassment, he didn't say. He didn't acknowledge it. All he said was, Chase, can you be honest with me? Like, really, really honest. What do you think of Torrance? Do you…trust her?
That caught him off guard. Um, yeah. I mean, I… Yeah, I trust her, he had answered casually, careful not to mix his opinions with his unexplored feelings towards the girl.
That's it? You just think she's trustworthy?
His shoulders slowly hitched upwards. Uh… She's smart? She's a good person?
Leo chuckled. Why does it sound like you're asking me? We're talking about what you think of her, he pointed out.
Why is my opinion so important? Why do you want to know?, he had asked back, because he didn't want to be led into giving an answer he couldn't retract.
Leo stared at him, searching through his features as he thought of what he was told. Shortly thereafter, he shrugged. Yeah, I guess you're right. In the end, it's my opinion that matters most anyways.
What are you saying?
I'm saying that I agree with you. It's what I think that counts, Leo had said. He narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. Do you think she's cute, though?
Leo…
Leo held up his hands. Hey, I'm just asking. I guess you don't see her that way, which is good! You know – for me.
Though he had added up what his brother had been implying, he still skirted around it. For you? What…what do you mean?
Come on, Chase. You know what I mean. You're not into her. Leo then smiled to himself. This actually makes it easier for me. I've wanted to ask somebody for advice but, lately, I haven't been able to talk to anybody about it. Torrance, she's just… She's special to me. I don't know what it is about her. He nodded with determination. I think I'll do it. Yeah. I'll just go ahead and do it.
Do what?
I'm going to ask her to be my girlfriend.
What? No!
Leo's brows hitched in surprise.
I mean, you can't do that, he amended, inwardly mortified of the response that shot out of him. What about Kerry? You're with her.
Eh, she thinks I'm dead, Leo said disinterestedly. I don't think she'll care about who I date from this point forward.
He tried his hardest not to stare at his younger brother in disbelief. Had the time he spent away from them really made him that callous about other people's feelings? But you guys are just friends, you and Torrance, he reasoned instead.
See, that's what I need help with, Chase. I want her to see me as more than a friend, Leo said. I was hoping you'd help me.
Chase only looked at him. Honestly, he didn't want to help him. He didn't want to admit at that moment yet the reason why he didn't want to help, but he knew it was enough for him not to do that favor for his brother.
What, you're not cool with this? Leo asked.
No, no! I mean, it's your choice. You can like who you want to like…I guess, he had said. If you like Torrance, you know, that's…that's your prerogative.
Leo studied him for a long while. Then, he busted out in a fit of laughter. Oh, I knew it! Leo cried out. You have a crush on her!
What?, he asked, confused. What do you mean?
I was messing with you! I was trying to see how you would react. Torrance is my best friend. I don't like her that way! Then, with a conniving grin, he said, But, apparently, you do.
As Chase took a long look at him, he realized that his brother had skillfully brought out what he had been trying to hide. He used jealousy to get him to falter, to topple over and reveal that he had developed certain feelings for the emerald-eyed girl. This caused him to feel embarrassed, which soon after morphed into anger. You little doof—
No, no, no, no, no! Chase, Chase, Chase! Leo had cowered instinctively, laughing while holding up his hands defensively in front of him as his brother advanced towards him with a scowl and balled fists. You can't hit me! I'm still injured!
Chase glowered at him, fuming. He was inclined to argue more but decided it wasn't worth it.
After seeing that he was safe, Leo lowered down his hands. Look, I know you're upset with me, but I just needed to know that you care about her.
Why?
Because Torrance is the kind of person who can spot insincerity from a mile away. She knows when you're not being honest with her. She also knows when you are, and even if she won't admit it, she values that. Leo smiled. It may not be a bad idea to be honest with her now, Chase.
Why?
Because she's leaving.
Chase looked up from the mission specialist desk then gazed discreetly at Torrance. Still preoccupied with her personal task, she remained oblivious to her surroundings. She didn't even know he was staring at her.
She's leaving. Chase didn't know exactly what he felt for her, and that made it harder for him to pinpoint how he viewed her impending departure. He admired certain things about her, that much he knew, and maybe that was enough to justify the anxiety he was feeling. She was intelligent, straightforward, and was generally not given into lying. She was very responsible, and though she would never own up to it, she was caring.
Those were probably her best traits, being responsible and caring. The warmth she showed towards his younger brother (and, by extension, towards them) all of those months, though buried underneath thick layers of an ice cold persona, automatically made her a friend in his sight.
Friend. That sounded off.
Maybe that wasn't the right word.
She seemed to have that effortless ability to see into him, and the way he responds to it certainly wasn't platonic. He didn't know why, but the knowledge that he couldn't hide many things from her made him feel weak and invincible at the same time. With her, he could be frightened and fearless, be pragmatic and be lost in the catastrophe of his own thoughts and emotions.
He didn't have to pretend with her, and that stirred within him something new and puzzling.
"Are you sure you don't need help with that?" Chase heard his father ask Torrance when he walked into the lab.
Torrance looked up and reciprocated the smile. "I am sure," she said.
His father looked at her for a while. Then, he said, "Okay, well, dinner should be ready in fifteen minutes. We'd love for you to join us."
There was a flicker of hesitation in Torrance's eyes that clued Chase into the fact that the rest of his family didn't know yet of her plans. It passed quickly. "Thank you, Donald Davenport," she said.
"It's the least we could do for all the help," his father said. Turning to him, he asked, "Chase, what about you? Have you finished yet?"
Chase resumed his work on the desk, accomplishing what he needed to accomplish promptly. "Just a few more minutes."
"Okay. When you're done, just head on upstairs, alright?"
Chase nodded.
His father walked off to the elevators and was gone soon after.
It wasn't long until Chase finished transferring the files. With a few clicks, he put the desk into sleep mode next, and that completed his task.
He hesitated to walk towards her at first, but the thought of him regretting something he didn't do later on moved him to take the chance. His mind blanked out of nervousness, and it only worsened when she glanced up at him, but he forced himself to make the least bit of sense just so he could talk to her. With all his might, he pulled up a small smile on his face. Thankfully, it proved sufficient to ease some of the nerves. "You should join us for dinner, you know," he said, inwardly surprised at how steady his voice sounded. He took a big leap by taking a seat beside her. "Tasha's a great cook. She makes the most amazing stuff."
Torrance smiled down at the wires in her hand as she pushed them into a case, but she said nothing in reply.
Taking a more serious tone, the smile on his face vanished. "Mr. Davenport told us what you did. Thank you for sending somebody to rescue us."
"It's not necessary, Chase Davenport. I did what I ought to do," Torrance said.
"Still. Thank you."
Torrance lifted her searching eyes up to him. When she found that he was being sincere, she just said, "You're welcome."
Chase nodded as she pulled the bag and the cases containing her personal computer system nearer to her. His eyes wandered around the lab. "This house is big enough that having another person live in it won't be a problem," he stated. "Especially now that I'm living at the dorms, there's more room."
Torrance took a glimpse of their surroundings. "I suppose so."
Chase smiled sadly when he understood what she didn't say. "But this is not big enough for you, is it?"
Torrance softly shook her head. "The world is my home. Out there is where I'm supposed to be."
"You don't have to be alone, you know," he said after a pause. "It's okay to be with people who care about you. They could be your home."
"Caring about me is not an advantage," Torrance answered factually. "I don't imagine anyone would want to take the risk."
"Why not?"
"Because people who come too close to me only get hurt. I'm a hazard; Leo Dooley knows it," she said. Seeing the expression on his face, she said, "Do not feel pity for me. This is just a fact. It's something that I've learned to live with."
Chase felt guilty even if she was forgiving. He didn't want for her to see that he was sorry for her. He didn't want her to be insulted, because that wasn't his intention. So, instead on dwelling on that and potentially worsening his blunder, he just asked, "Does that mean you're leaving?"
A ghost of a smile appeared on her face. "I suspect you already know the answer to that even before we began this discussion," she said.
Chase said nothing.
"I appreciate the kindness that you and your family had shown me, Chase Davenport, but I have to leave. I have commitments I have to fulfill, vows I have to pay. Douglas Davenport is no longer a threat to your family. My purpose has been completed," Torrance said. "I cannot linger here. I have no reason to stay."
Chase stared into her eyes, moved to know her thoughts. He wondered what had led her to accept aloneness so easily. She said she feared hurting others, but did she mean it? Did she really believe she would be the reason for their pain?
Soon, he found the answer: she had been deceived into thinking that walking the world alone was her lot in life, just as he had believed that his only use was to carry the burdens of others.
A painful sensation squeezed inside his chest. Was it pity? Was it sadness? Was it empathy? Honestly, he didn't know. All he was aware of was that he didn't want her to feel alone ever again.
In a moment of bravery, he leaned forward and kissed her.
There was an emptiness at first, as if the force that moved him to do what he did drained immediately and ceased to exist. He was holding his breath in a space of darkness, something both frightening and thrilling to him. However, when she responded by kissing him back, the emptiness quickly filled with many impossible things. It pulled him upwards, far up into the clouds and into incomprehensible heights, where all the colors collided loudly with each other.
His heart leapt vigorously at the sight.
When he drew back, he gazed deeply into her green eyes. "Stay," he asked her. "This is where you belong."
Torrance only looked at him, her eyes soft. She said nothing.
The distance between them increased as the sound of the elevator opening rang through the lab. Torrance got up, picked up the bag and the cases, and then transported them closer to the couch where the rest of her belongings were. "Hey, Torrance, I think Linux is out of food," Adam said as he came into the room. "You mind making a quick run to the store with me and Ayanna? I don't know which one to get for him."
Torrance nodded.
"Cool. Chase, Bree's looking for you," Adam told him. "Something about an application deadline or something."
Chase nodded at him in acknowledgement.
Adam turned to leave, Torrance following alongside him wordlessly. Soon, the two of them were gone.
It took Chase another moment to realize that he hadn't quite caught his breath yet. When he did, he felt giddy, both with the feel of air in his lungs and the beat of life pounding through his veins. He thought about the kiss, thought about her. He savored the sweet memory rushing back.
It was then that it hit him: first kiss.
Torrance was his first kiss.
Chase looked around the lab and saw everything in a different light. Glancing back, he caught sight of the capsules, particularly his, which he was sitting directly in front of.
A warm smile came to his face. First kiss, with the girl he truly cared about. And it happened in the place he considered home.
Joyously, his heart leapt again.
to be continued.