I will admit, I am less worried about telling everyone than I was before… considering all of the secrets that are pouring out right now from these other girls… Steph's outburst put the rest into perspective however, considering we are here for each other after all… even if we don't agree with our different style in methods. I watched Steph as she sat back down, abnormally upright in her chair as she waited for Mayumi to speak.

"Well…" Mayumi began turning back around to look at Steph, "Your brave waves show points of high levels of anxiety. Other than that, you seem to be okay in blood work… since you clearly aren't on anything." Mayumi glanced at Julie for a moment. Julie made a 'hey' sort of noise, which Mayumi ignored.

"That's not unordinary, right?" Steph said in a shy manner. Considering she was always a bit anxious during our last war, she does have a point. Mayumi sighed for a moment before continuing.

"The only thing I have a concern with are your methods of actions in regards to hesitation. Hesitation can lead to complete failure in a mission. Therefore, you must throw away any sense of doubt you may have in any of us." Mayumi said sternly. I watched as Julie and Shiris looked to Steph's direction as well. I watched as Steph brought her gaze to the floor.

"Yes, I can understand that." Steph said softly. I cannot help but feel bad for her in this type of position. The rest of us have very strong personalities and she is the odd one out in these situations. The four of us are willing to throw away our hesitation when it comes to these missions. However, Steph always seemed to have a hard time with this. Somehow it brings a balance that is necessary, but I don't think anyone can quite put their finger on the why in that matter. Personally Steph does seem rather weak to me in most regards. I'd never tell her this, I'd rather keep up my poise demure rather than become a cold person.

"However," Mayumi began again, "I do believe you are an important asset to this team." Steph looked up at Mayumi and she threw her back her chip. A wave of relief swept over Steph's face as Mayumi turned to me.

"Chip."

"I'm pregnant." Wow that came out suddenly, didn't it? Might as well not waste any time like Julie did mumbling about like she didn't have a clue what was going on. Let's not waste any time... Steph put her head down, unable to look at me, while Mayumi, Julie, and Shiris all were staring at me wide eyed their jaws about the hit the floor-

"I'm sorry… what?" Julie blurted out as she her expressions were having a fierce battle on her face.

"Mulan… are yo- are you sure?" Shiris stuttered a bit with her words. I hadn't thought about what I was going to say after I told everyone come to think of it.

"Yes." I stated and I watched Shiris make a silent 'what'? with her mouth. I hope this doesn't make her have another episode, who knows what triggers those...

"Congratulations, Mulan!" Julie suddenly said with a bit of awkwardness attached to her sentence structure, "I will admit, I thought mine secret was pretty shocking, but you certainly take the wind from underneath me!" she finished with an awkward laugh followed by a few random hand gestures. Shiris smacked her on the arm. I wanted to roll my eyes but refrained from doing so. I think she just wants more attention.

"Mulan… does Wufei know about this? Clearly, he doesn't! Otherwise you wouldn't be here, right?" Shiris hit the mark. I took a deep sigh trying to calm my nerves.

"No, he doesn't."

"So you're not that fair along then?" She questioned.

"I'm about 12 weeks." I say with a sigh, I do wonder exactly how much information people are going to want.

"Mulan..." I heard Shiris whisper. I think she was at a loss for words at this point, which I would be too in a situation like this. Frankly, I'm still trying to get my head around this whole thing. I only found out a couple days ago...

"Mulan." I heard a stern voice say and I look up to Mayumi. She was holding her stare on me carefully, as if trying to find a proper way to gaze at me without such a sense of hardness, "This is pretty dangerous." I'm surprised she said anything, considering it's all pretty straightforward and obvious. I held my head down for a moment before I gave a deep sigh.

"I know it is. I know the whole thing of it is... I just couldn't bring myself to tell Wufei. He was so focused on this upcoming mission, so determined, and so strong minded that I could never break that focus of his... I simply couldn't do it."

"Mulan... you're pregnant! I think this is the exception to that! He needs to know!" Shiris raised her voice at me at the end of her sentence. I can understand where she is coming from, but she doesn't know Wufei like I do. He can be very destructive if he is broken from his concentration. I just- he is scary sometimes.

"This isn't a good idea, you should be at home resti-" Steph began but was cut off by Mayumi.

"A pregnant woman isn't a cripple. She can still do work just like the rest of us, if she so desires, especially if she's only 8 weeks."

"But-" Mayumi stood up swiftly and walked over to me, sticking her hand out. I gave her my chip before Mayumi walked back over to the computer.

"If nothing else is different about you, then I can clear you for work." Mayumi said with a icy tone, "I will let you decided when you deem it necessary to stop working, because you know yourself better than I do." Mayumi glanced at me before going back to the computer. I was a bit surprised by her reaction to be honest. I saw Shiris glance at me, probably at a loss for words still. Julie seemed somewhat amused by the situation, but I think she's more enjoying the fact that everyone might forget the fact that she is a drug addict. I frankly don't trust her one bit with this new acquired information about her...

"Look..." I began a bit unsteadily, "I am just not ready to tell Wufei and I don't want him thinking anything is different about me or the missions. He just isn't in the right mindset to take this information in properly..." I glance at the other girls who were listening quite intently.

"We understand that Mulan." Julie said quietly, "We just don't want you to go hurting yourself for no reason."

"I won't be." I say while leaning forward in my chair slightly, "I know this is a big issue, and I really wouldn't be here if I thought I was endangering myself and my... child." I stay quiet for a moment, in my thoughts obviously. I am trying to sound as brave and strong as I possibly can in front of the other girls... It's just difficult when I know the raging force that will come once this news gets out to my husband. As I try to think of the many ways that he may react to such news, they seem to be getting worse and worse in my mind; so elaborate they easily become. He could absolutely freak out and I think the other girls aren't aware of that fact-

"Seems your blood work and brain waves are normal." Mayumi interrupted my thoughts, "I believe you are fit to work on this team." She gave me a bit of a nod and threw my chip back at me. I felt slightly relieved for a moment, but her eyes kept staring at me.

"Yes, Mayumi?" I questioned, I wasn't sure what else she would say to me at this point... considering it's all out in the open now.

"I know I don't need to say this, but you need to be careful." Mayumi stated while staring at me, conveying a clear message of sternness in her gaze. I could feel the others gazes on me as well. I know they are worried, especially when Wufei does not know. I just hope this secret can stay safe for the time being... I am just too much of a coward to bring it up at this point and time. I'm not sure if I am pathetic or being an intelligent decision maker.

"I will, Mayumi. Thank you." I say softly. Mayumi then looks around the room for moment, in a pondering sort of way. She's thinking about something. When I really think about it, I'm not sure how I feel about my situation. I don't think I've thought enough about it to make a proper solid feeling form. It's not that I'm ignoring my feelings necessarily, rather I haven't had time within myself to let anything form. Is that a bad thing, I wonder?

"Well... this is a lot to take in." Mayumi says in one breath, "I-" She then stopped and put her head down.

"What's wrong, Mayumi? Do you have a secret, too?" Julie laughed, I think she was joking around, but Mayumi`s face became a bit twisted after her words. Julie, obviously, pushed further seeing her reaction.

"You do, don't you? Come on now, you might as well tell us, right? I mean hell, I poured out my soul to you guys!" Julie said waving her hand in the air without care. I will admit, now that I know such information about her, I want to keep questioning whether she is high or not.

"Let's just say I have another job to deal with that Jane doesn't know about." Mayumi said with confidence. Another job, she says... how incredibly specific.

"And what may that be?" Shiris questioned after a few moments. However, Mayumi did not seem like she wanted to say more on that subject.

"As some of you may have some issues at the moment... I will let this slide. I have already been through a war with you all and I don't plan on having any else on my team. That is my final decision." I watched as Julie saluted, Shiris smiled, and Steph nodded her head slowly.

"Glad you trust us!" Julie said with big grin, "I do believe we are the only people worthy enough for these jobs!" Mayumi only nodded at Julie`s statement in agreement. She acted as if she had ignored her statement, but I believe Julie was right. We are the only ones who can do these missions after all. Especially as women... we are highly trained and skilled in a various array of fields.

"So Jane..." Shiris began; naturally someone had to bring this up again, "Are you going to tell her all of this?" I watched as Mayumi leaned forward in her chair and eyed us all.

"In Julie`s case... No, I am not. I'm not sure how Jane would react to such information... so I will be keeping a close eye on you at the very least." She glanced at Julie who was waving her hand in the air lightly as if swatting away a fly.

"Yeah, yeah..." Julie sighed. I think she wanted to say more on the matter but refrained, trying not to sound too cliché.

"Shiris, only your brain wave patterns are slightly abnormal, which from the readings could just mean stress." Mayumi looked at Shiris but she was looking down at the ground, "Is there something that you aren't telling us?" Julie put her hand on Shiris` shoulder. Shiris looked around the room a bit before speaking.

"Well... I've been having these dreams of some sort..." She trailed off for a moment before sighing and continuing, "Dreams about the last war, that have been unsettling to me."

"Like how?" Julie questioned.

"At first I believe them to be flash backs, some specific memory that I am reliving, but then usually something goes terribly wrong or someone gets killed who is still alive presently. It is... very strange. I keep wondering if I'm asleep or dreaming, or if this really is a memory? When I wake up sometimes my head feels a little numb."

"Isn't that kind of what happened before?" I asked as she shrugged to me her answer.

"I'm not really sure to be honest." Shiris shook her head as if trying to jog her memory. Mayumi looked stern but calm as she spoke.

"You'll be alright, but I do think you need some sort of stress relief before you begin this mission. Look into that please..." As Mayumi`s intentions were true, I hear Julie giggle and say something along the lines that involved `Trowa` and `can help` soon followed by a light smack on the arm from Shiris.

"Just saying!" Julie shrugged still laughing. Mayumi rolled her eyes before looking at Steph, but couldn't hide a small smile from appearing on her face briefly.

"As long as you keep your hesitation at a minimum, there should not be a problem... right?" Mayumi asked and Steph nodded her head quickly.

"Ye-yes!" She said with a small smile as she choked on her words a bit. Mayumi stared at her for a moment. I wonder if she was having doubts already. She then looked to me.

"I don't need to say anything to you, I know you can handle your current situation." She said with a small nod to which I returned.

"Yes." I confirmed and Mayumi stood up.

"As I am supposed to ask you about the past year... I feel as I already have quite a clear picture that I can report back to Jane with... With a bit patching here and there naturally. Which leaves nothing else left for discussion... Looks like we're done here. `

"Alright!" Julie jumped up from her chair and stretched. The rest of us slowly got up from out of our chairs.

In the end... I don't really know what I'm doing. I will not falter in my smile and pride, but I cannot help but have my thoughts drift off into hesitation.

You know... It is funny how we trust each other like this. We have so many secrets that we keep from each other, yet everyone seems so trustworthy when we say that we are `alright`... but are we really? Are we simply lying through our teeth to get past talking about a matter that is greater than all of us? Most of our problems have to do with the war, right? From the pain, suffering, and emotional turmoil of being a part of whether or not the earth and colony have a bright future. It is such a grave task we have, and we are so young... How are we supposed to push ourselves to the limits over and over again? Clearly it is taking a toll on all of us. From drugs to mental breakdowns. It seems only a perfect soldier can outwit their own feelings.