Happy 4th Everyone. Enjoy and as always and please comment. Criticism is good for the soul.
Chapter 25
Lulu paced back and forth on the eighth floor, dreading her visit with Dr. Chamberlain. He was a recent transfer from Mercy Hospital, his expertise in the field lauded by Dr. Monica Quartermaine and the other staff of General Hospital.
"Lulu, you're wearing out the carpet, come sit down," Samantha McCall told her from the lounge area.
It was only a coincidence that Sam was here today, as her appointment had been rescheduled and she was meeting Jason for lunch. Lulu hadn't told anyone other than Lucky and Dante what happened. She wasn't sure if she was ready to tell anyone yet. The hardest part was going to be telling her parents and Maxie. God, she hadn't even told her best friend.
"Hi Sam," Lulu said, trying her best to put on a happy face, as she sat beside her brother's wife.
Sam had shared a lot with Lulu in the last month and Lulu wished that she could confide in her in return, but something inside her refused, wanting to block away the pain.
"Is everything all right?" Lulu asked, wondering why Sam was at the hospital again. Despite everything that had happened to her in the last few days, she knew that what Sam was going through was just as traumatic.
"No, but it will be. One day at a time, Lulu," Sam told her, not even realizing how true her response was to Lulu's situation.
"Jason has been a really big help," Sam replied, smiling. Aside from Lulu, he was turning out to be the best friend that Sam had, keeping her secret and taking all of the innuendos and insults in stride.
"I'm glad that you can turn to him, Sam. But, I can't help but wish that Lucky could be that person," Lulu told her, "Speaking of Lucky, I know that you guys are having a rough time, but has he contacted you recently," Lulu asked, wondering if Sam knew about Logan.
"Contacted me? No, Lulu. We haven't spoken in weeks. Everything comes through his lawyer," Sam told her with an inquisitive stare, "Why? Is there something I should know? If it's about his latest eye-candy of the week, Lulu, I know," Sam answered, truthfully.
"No, I just figured that with everything going on in the last few days that he might try to reach out to you. If he does, will you promise me that you'll just listen to him, be there for him?" Lulu asked her, as Sam looked on with a surprised gaze.
"Lulu, are you sure that everything is ok? You know that you can tell me anything," Sam replied, as Dr. Jason Quartermaine approached them.
"I'm fine," Lulu answered, rising to her feet, as Jason stopped before them.
"Hi, Lulu. Didn't expect to see you here? Are you here for moral support?" he asked, looking at Sam, "She could really use it right now," Jason responded, as Sam glared back at him, hating how he was treating her as a concerned friend and not an impartial doctor.
"She isn't and I don't, Dr. Quartermaine," Sam replied, jumping from her chair and facing him.
"I disagree, Sam. This isn't something that you should face alone," he snapped, hating when she used his profession against him. He would be her best friend, but if he was going to suffer through all of the rumors floating around, then she was going to have to be up front about her feelings for Lucky and her feelings toward him. He wanted to assure her that he was here for her and not just as a friend, if she wanted him to be.
"I'm not alone and Lulu is well aware of the situation," Sam answered, looking at a very uncomfortable Lulu Spencer, "Besides, I get the feeling that she has other things on her mind at the moment. More important things," Sam replied, reassuring Lulu that she was all right.
"I'll just leave you two alone," Lulu answered, as a nurse approached Lulu, "The doctor will see you now, Lulu," she told her, as Jason and Sam looked on.
"Doctor? Is everything ok?" they responded in unison, concerned.
"Just a check-up," Lulu lied, not wanting them to know she was seeing Dr. Chamberlain, "I'll fill you both in later, I promise," she answered, walking away.
Jason turned to Sam McCall, a worried expression on his face as he confronted her, "More important? Sam, you have cancer. Exactly when are you planning on sharing this with your family? They should know, they would want to know and whether you like it, or not, you need their support," he told her.
"Well, that's my decision, isn't it, Doctor," Sam responded, "Lulu knows. She just has more tact than you, Jason. She knows how much I hate being pitied. Look, I need to get to my appointment with Dr. Lee, so maybe we should do lunch another time? Perhaps when you aren't being such an ass and you can be my friend instead," Sam answered, angry that he didn't share her wish to keep her illness under-wraps.
She knew that he genuinely cared about her and that his friendship meant everything to her, but revealing her illness to the Spencer clan would only cause more harm. Lucky was filing for divorce and the last thing that she wanted was his pity.
…...
Maxie answered the door in her bathrobe, surprised to see him standing there, "Maxie, I need you," he said, with eyes filled with pain, "Please let me in."
She held the door ajar and he walked in, kicking it closed with his feet, as his hands made quick work on the ties to her robe. Once they were undone, he parted the two sides, cupping her naked breasts beneath, before walking her toward the bedroom. Her back hit the wall beside the bedroom and he took advantage of their sudden halt to remove her robe. He pushed the robe off of one shoulder, his lips replacing his hands, as Maxie gasped, raising one leg to wrap around him, as she pulled him closer. She reached for his belt buckle, releasing it, as he continued his assault with his mouth and his hands.
Maxie knew that something was wrong. His eyes betrayed his pain and his need for her was voracious and elemental. Not that she was complaining, Maxie loved it when he wasn't in control, when he let his emotions and his body's need drive him. She pulled down the zipper on his pants and helped him shed them. He quickly removed his boxer shorts, as she leaned to the left, opening the drawer to a nightstand and removing the condom from inside.
"I'm sorry, Maxie, I can't wait," he said, sheathing himself, as he lifted her, positioning her legs around him, before testing her readiness with his finger and driving into her.
"Oh God, Maxie" he shouted, as he filled her completely, jack hammering into her, as her back moved up the wall with each thrust. Pools of sweat were falling from his forehead, as he rested his head atop her shoulder and angled her hips more, allowing him to move deeper. She was gripping him tightly inside and out, as he moved faster, needing to find his release in her arms. Christ, he thought, he was almost there. He held her hips still, as pulled her down hard and he felt the shudders tearing his body apart as he came. Once his breathing started to return to normal, he lifted his gaze to hers and set her upon her feet. Her legs were like jelly and he kept his hold on her to keep her from dropping to the floor. He kissed her softly on the lips and reached for another condom from the drawer and then carried her into the bedroom, holding her with one hand, while the other turned down the covers. He left her body only long enough to discard the used condom in the trash can beside her dresser, before tearing the foil on the new one.
"I want to," Maxie told him, sitting up on the bed and reaching for the condom, as he stood beside the bed. She removed the condom from the foil packet and quickly pulled it over him. He climbed onto the bed and she slid backwards toward the headboard. He slid into her, rocking gently against her, as she wiped the tears from his eyes, her concerned gaze staring into his. His movements became quicker, more determined, as his fingers brushed against her, eliciting a gasp and they kissed, their lips teasing each other with the barest of touches. He felt her orgasm building, her body start to tremble and her gasps becoming louder, as the sensations started to overtake her. She was trying her darndest to hold it in, but Maxie was a screamer and he knew that any second now the neighbors would hear her.
"Oh My God," she started to whisper, as it built inside her, "Oh Jesus," she started to shout, as her orgasm ripped through her, "Oh, Oh, Oh God," she screamed, as she tightened around him and her body started to pull apart. Her nails raked his back, as she closed her eyes and held on tight. He waited for her orgasm to take her, before he reached his own release in a few hard, pumps. They fell upon the sheets, exhausted, as their pulse began to slow down and their breathing became less labored. Maxie clutched his hand in hers, feeling the tension, although slightly less, throughout his body.
"Is there anything I can do?" she asked, breaking the silence, as she turned her body towards his back, snuggling against him. She saw the scratch marks that she had made, amazed every time at her response to him.
He felt her soft breasts pressed against his back, her body molded to his and he stiffened in response. His body was betraying him, he shouldn't want her like he did, but it was like he couldn't get enough. Her body's softness was like a drug, addictive and all-consuming. If he continued this, he was only going to hurt her. Today needed to be the last time, he said to himself, turning to accept Maxie's weight atop of him, as she straddled him and he reached for another condom.
"Hold me, Maxie," he told her, as she sheathed him and took him into her body. Slowly, she sank upon him, the movements languid, as he let her dictate the pace. He closed his eyes and let the sensations come, her legs holding him still, as she gently rocked against him, giving him the comfort that he so desperately needed. In that moment, as she moved against him, her orgasm taking over, the tears started to roll down her face, as she realized that somehow, the unthinkable had happened. Maxie Jones, had fallen in love with the man beneath her . She shattered around him, watching through hazy eyes, as his release came upon him and he forced her hips to take all of him, joining her in ecstasy. When he was spent, he pulled her close and turned their bodies sideways, cradling her in his arms, as he drifted off to sleep. Maxie cried softly, as he slept, wishing with everything that she had that the man in her arms could one day love her in return.
"I love you, Lucky," she whispered, as she lay her head upon the pillow and cuddled next to him.
…...
"Miss Spencer, why don't you take a seat," Dr. Chamberlain told her, gesturing toward a bench to the left of his desk.
Lulu Spencer had no intention on laying down on that couch and pouring out her soul to this stranger. That's how they got you, she thought, staring at the black leather bench and wishing it would disappear. As soon as you lay your pretty head upon its comfortable leather, BAM, invisible manacles secured you to its side and you were forced to bare your soul.
"I'll stand, thank you," Lulu answered, pacing back and forth, with clasped hands.
"If that's your wish," Dr. Chamberlain told her, jotting notes on his pad, as Lulu looked at him skeptically.
"So, what, you're docking me points for refusing to sit?" she questioned, distrusting him, as she sat upon the black leather bench.
"Miss Spencer, we don't award points here and I certainly wouldn't deduct them," he told her, folding his hands and looking back at her.
She felt like she was under inspection, every hair out of place displeasing, every response reprimanded, as his eyes peered into hers.
This is such crap. I am not saying a freaking word.
"I understand that this uncomfortable for you, Lulu. You don't have to say a word, if you don't want to," he told her.
Jesus, could therapists read minds.
"I see what you're doing," Lulu answered, watching his eyes drift to his notepad, as he wrote yet another scathing remark about her.
She didn't understand why Dante felt this was helpful, she thought, as she looked down at her watch. Ten minutes had passed. It was an hour session.
"It's not going to work. I don't need your help," Lulu replied, adamantly, while looking up at the ceiling.
Laying on the couch, she felt her body start to relax and her mind drifted over the last few days, her body becoming tense when images of Logan flashed before her eyes.
"Then why are you are?" he asked her, raising his eyebrows at her stubborness. She was definitely going to be a difficult case, he thought jotting down more notes.
"I'm here because he asked me to," Lulu admitted, smiling as she thought of Dante.
"And do you always do what people ask you?" the therapist questioned.
"No," Lulu replied, defensively.
"And yet here you are," he answered, matter-of-factly.
"Dante doesn't tell me what to do," Lulu answered, sternly, "He's different."
"Different than the others? In what way?" he asked her, as he rested his chin upon his folded hands.
Lulu looked up at the ceiling and listed in her head all of the things that she loved about Dante. It was a long list and, as she glanced at her watch, she realized she didn't have that much time. Thirty-five minutes.
"Dante gets me in a way that no one else does," Lulu confessed, "He understands who I am as a person, as his friend and as his lover. He listens to me with an open ear, whether or not, he agrees with my words, with my decisions," Lulu continued, sitting up on the bench, as her hand brushed the black leather beneath her fingertips.
"I can tell him anything. He won't judge me," Lulu said, standing, as she started to walk back and forth in the room.
"I feel safe with him," Lulu replied, honestly, "I trust him completely."
Lulu turned to Dr. Chamberlain, her eyes filled with pain, as she so desperately wanted to unburden herself of the weight that held her down.
"Trust is hard for me. I don't just give it freely," she told him, as a tear started to fall down one cheek, "It was months before I even admitted to him how much I liked him. Not because of anything he did," Lulu answered, defending Dante, "Because he has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. I know that now."
"I just don't want to let him down. A part of me is still in denial, even after everything we've been through. And I know that he loves me, I do. It's just that I have this small nagging piece in the back of my head that keeps insisting that I don't deserve him. That it's all just a hallucination and any minute now I am going to wake up and he'll be gone."
"Because that's all that you've ever known?" Dr. Chamberlain asked her, writing down more notes on his pad. She should be insulted that he kept looking down at the paper, but for some reason she wasn't. Strangely, she felt that he was listening to her. Really listening.
"I've never met anyone like Dante. My past relationship was based mostly on lies. I hold some of the blame, I never knew what a healthy relationship looked like. I was taught that if I wanted something, I should take it. If it wasn't available, than I just had to come up with a plan that gave me what I wanted. That's what a Spencer does. Nothing is impossible, if you just come up with a scam to achieve it. But, love, that was something that my family never had any luck with. My father was absent more than he was present. My mother was gone, before I even knew her."
"She was comatose?" Dr. Chamberlain asked her, recalling the story that Monica Quartermaine had told him.
"Yes. I could see her, I could touch her, I could hear her breath within her chest, but she wasn't there. I needed her and she wasn't there," Lulu shuddered, as the tears started to fall faster on her cheeks.
"That must have been difficult," he stated, watching her reaction. Her family played a big part in her trauma, he noted, as he wrote a few words on his pad, "Where was your father?"
"Off on some great adventure. He tried. For the longest time I thought that my father didn't want me. I believed that I was a burden to him. I didn't think that he loved anyone, least of all me. But, I was wrong. He was there for me when I needed him most. When I had to face the most difficult decision of my life. I finally had him back. Mom woke up. The family was closer than ever," Lulu told him, sitting back down on the leather couch.
"But, you were still alone," Dr. Chamberlain said, noting her reaction to his statement.
"I wasn't alone. My family was always there for me. We are close. We look out for each other. Sometimes, I just think that they don't know me. That they don't want to know me," Lulu responded, trying to make him understand.
"You think that they are disappointed in you," he told her.
"I know they are. I see it in their eyes. I hear it in their voice," she answered, looking down at her hands.
"You're afraid that one day, Dante is going to be disappointed too. That he won't believe in you," he told her, waiting for her response.
"What if it's true?" Lulu asked him, looking up and awaiting his answer.
"Well, I think that's something we can discuss next time," Dr. Chamberlain told her, looking at his watch, " How about next Wednesday, 2pm?"
"Next time? I don't know. I was only going to come this one time," she admitted, not sure if she wanted to continue. She did seem to feel a little lighter after today's session, but she didn't know why. They hadn't even discussed Logan Hayes.
"I guess that's ok," she told him, as he walked her to the door.
"Good. I'll see you next week, Miss Spencer."
Lulu walked toward the lobby and stopped at the nurse's station, handing the nurse on duty Dr. Chamberlain's unreadable script of paper.
"Miss Spencer, here is your appointment card. We'll see you next week." the nurse responded.
"Thanks," Lulu answered, turning toward the elevators, as she placed the card in her purse. She was about to push the down arrow button when she heard a voice from behind her.
"Hey, beautiful, what do you say I buy you lunch? Kelly's sound good?" he asked, as she walked toward him smiling, "When did you get here?" Lulu asked, surprised to see him.
"About ten minutes ago. I wanted to surprise you. Are you hungry?" he asked.
"Famished. Kelly's is the best idea I've heard all day."
"Fantastic. Love you, baby," he said, kissing her softly on the lips and enfolding her into his arms, as they walked toward the elevator.