Had I the ability to renounce my body for a moment, I would have slapped myself good and hard on the back of the head. I am such a fool.
Send Dorian away. Send Dorian away. Send Dorian away.
No matter how many times I said it, I still thought it was blasphemy. Complete and total idiocy.
I was pregnant with an Undying child, nervous beyond all belief and, I had just given the Father of said Undying child a free ticket to run away again. Brilliant. If I could, I would strangle myself.
"Hey, Red!" Gavril said repeatedly snapping his fingers in my face. A line of Dorian's ran across my mind then.
"Get your filthy finger out of my face or I'll bite it off." I choked back a sob.
"Analeigh!" Gavril rested his hands on my shoulders to lift me up from the table. Had I fallen asleep again?
Crankily I shrugged free of his grasp, combing my hair behind my ears. "What's with you?" He said, returning my grouchy tone. "You look like the walking dead, you sure you're feeling alright?"
"I have a cold is all." I murmured quietly scrubbing my eyes with the backs of my hands. Gavril snorted when I yawned, "Yeah, that sure looks like your average case of sniffles." He slid his can of Coke towards me.
"Have you eaten anything today?" My eyed flickered to him and back to the tempting shimmering red can, I licked my lips. "No."
Gavril sighed at my response, shaking his head irritably. I chewed the inside of my lip hesitantly; this was going to be much harder than I'd originally anticipated. Could The Undying eat human foods? I didn't want to be sick again, especially in school. But I'm so hungry.
I needed help. I needed Dorian.
I could feel Gavril's pretty eyes on me as I buried my face in my palms. "Red, you should go home." He said sounding truly concerned for me.
I wasn't listening.
There had to be someone else, I needed someone else. I couldn't go to Emilia; she would only get angrier at Dorian.
Hristea would laugh in my face, and there was no way I was going to Octavianus or Ekaterina, I already knew what they would say.
My groan was muffled by my palms, Gavril sighed, I could almost hear him putting his ear buds in and tuning me out. Who else would…
I gasped, lifting my head from my hands and wiping my face with my sleeve. "Gavril, your Mom told you about Engraving right?" I tried to speak as clearly as I could, but with my accent and spiralling emotions I wasn't getting very far with that.
Gavril swallowed a gulp of soda, his eyebrow rising curiously while is atoms apple bobbed. "Mhm…" He nodded pursing his lips as I grinned. "So, she would know more stuff right?" I insisted, Gavril lapping at his lips as he set the can down on the table again.
"How should I know? I don't actually discuss the topic of vampires with my parents Analeigh." He paused for a moment, "Why?"
"I was just wondering." I shrugged, running my fingers through my hair and rolling the sleeves of James' massive sweater up.
I kept Gavril in the dark for the rest of the day, changing the topic when required. I ignored the bizarre questions he threw at me and, drew his attention to other things that didn't involve the questions: "are you okay," or "what for," and the occasional, "this is about Drac isn't it?"
Somehow, I succeeded in keeping my eyes open in science and only dozed twice.
I feigned a sore ankle in gym, eluding the horror that was Eliani on the volleyball court. Though Gavril-the rat he is-accused me openly of untruthfulness. On the walk home I played my soreness up by limping some of the way.
Maintaining a casual slouch became easy, now that I noticed everyone was doing it. And I kept my arms crossed over my belly until I'd reached the sanctuary of my home.
From that point, I would play my ace. Thankfully, James had not yet arrived and Mother, well, I didn't honestly care where she was.
I finished my homework quickly at my desk and had thrown James' sweater back in his disorderly closet. Now I could see the gorgeous bump that was Lilliana Alexander.
Gavril's phone number I had committed to memory, and yet, as I dialled my clammy fingers stumbled over the numbers and my hand trembled. My words hitched in my throat when a woman answered on the third ring.
I exhaled in a deep gust as my heart stuttered and fumbled within me. I could almost visualise Mrs. Cohen's face as I spoke, her warm patient grey eyes and gentle smile to match her quiet voice. "Of course Analeigh, I'll meet you there." She said softly before saying her hushed good-byes.
I was glad that she hadn't asked me why I needed her to meet me anywhere. Actually, I was a little surprised she hadn't questioned me at all.
I set the phone back down in the receiver and ran to my room. I pulled on my cosiest pair of sweats and returned to James' room to pilfer another sweater. As soon as I'd run down to the kitchen I bumped shoulders with my brother. James grabbed my arm before I fell, my hand fearfully on my stomach.
"Where's the fire?" He asked, pulling me up to my feet with a smile. I returned the grin as I slipped free of his grip.
"C-could you drive me into town, I'm meeting Mrs. Cohen at the ice-cream chalet." I said this as nonchalantly as I could as if I hung out with my best friend's Mother all the time.
James gave me a very suspicious look. "Well, you know, Gavril's going to be there too, she wanted to treat us for getting and A on our assignment." I mentally patted myself on the back; I was getting really good at this.
James' brow puckered as he considered that. "And you intend on going out in my Stealers sweater and track pants?" He sounded doubtful, shaking his head at me. "Analeigh, if you're going to him you can tell me." James sighed with a slight frown on his full lips, his rough features twisting into disappointment.
I felt a firm tug on my heart, and listened as pieces chipped away again to fall into the abyss of my chest. "James," I said smiling unconvincingly. "I'm really going to meet Gavril and Mrs. Cohen. I'm not lying to you." My voice cracked. Oh, I hate lying!
He shook his head and dropped his hand into his side pocket, the tinkering of metal resounded from inside his jeans. "Alright c'mon."
I smiled hugely and hurried to the door, my brother following slowly behind me. I slid into the familiar cab of my brother's silver truck. The interior smelt of lumber and coffee, the scent of expensive perfume making me giggle.
Did James have a girlfriend? Who? Since when? Why?
A soft kick made me gasp; I palmed my tummy carefully, reminded of my mission. Rain began to sprinkle down on us, as James stepped into the cab, the whole truck lowering significantly. My hand flung to my lips to stifle my quiet laughter.
James ran his fingers through his hair, now I could even smell the floral scent of freesia on his leather jacket. My lips fidgeted as I watched him, his large, callus fingers gripping the small bronze key. He turned the truck to life, making me yelp at the sudden roar of the engine. James chuckled to himself at my startled expression and motioned for me to put my seatbelt on. I pulled the worn fabric over my shoulder as he reversed from the driveway.
James glanced at me from the corner of his eye, turning his head to survey my goofy expression. "What?" He asked, unable to keep his small smile off his face.
My cheeks flushed, blood racing in my veins as I smirked. "Who is she?" James' face was stricken by surprise before turning to an embarrassed red hue.
"W-who's who?" He said quickly.
"Your girlfriend, silly!" I blurted, my voice seemingly over ecstatic, if it were possible, James' face turned even redder. "Come on spill." I prompted, the cab filled with my laughter.
The rain fell loudly around us, though the truck was warm and cosy I could feel the dampness on my skin, the wind howling in through the open slit of James' window. James sighed, "Her name's Felicia Lenuta." He winced when I squealed.
"And…" I pressed, elbowing him in the shoulder, James laughed. "And she's a good friend of Kellen's; can you let it go now?"
Wingmen. I think I was beginning to understand the concept of that now.
"How old is she?" I continued, narrowing my eyes at him. "Must you?" He groaned. I smiled widely, "Yes, you are my brother; I have to like her too you know."
"Twenty-three." He replied, squeezing the steering wheel when I clapped. "Is she pretty, is she blonde? You know how I feel about blondes James." Eliani flashed in my head and I shuddered, James shaking his head as he drove.
"No, she isn't blonde. She's a brunette if you must know." James' lips quivered as if he was trying not to laugh himself at my enthusiasm.
Our interrogation continued until I was sure I could visualize this girl in my head. Auburn eyes, brown hair, heart shaped face, a little taller than me and, she was a spoiler which was great for me. In other words, until I met her in person, she passed.
James waited for the atmosphere to calm before he spoke again, this time his face was very hard and his eyes were very serious. "Analeigh, don't tell Mom okay." He murmured, never once taking his eyes from the road.
I scoffed, "Wouldn't dream of it."
I fiddled with the radio for the rest of the drive, unable to find a station I liked.
James parked between a small purple car and a modest beige Jeep. Mrs. Cohen waved from the driver's side of her jeep, as I began to climb out. "Where's Gavril?" James asked and I quickly shut the door and raced through the rain to the passenger side of the Jeep.
I could see James' frown as he shook his head and drove from the lot. I felt guilty for tricking him, for lying to him. But he would never understand how badly I needed these answers.
I shivered as I slammed the Jeep door, entering another warm surrounding. Mrs. Cohen smiled kindly her grey eyes glistening as she gave me a once over. "What is it dear, you seem tense?" I smiled wistfully, Gavril was right, nothing got by her unnoticed.
I tried to force myself to relax, but the more time I spent contemplating my confession, the more I grew apprehensive about speaking about it at all.
"You're not going to think different of me once I tell you are you?" I whispered cautiously. Mrs. Cohen grinning as she rested her chin in her palm.
"Sweetheart, whatever the case, I live with four men, I am anything but unforgiving." She gave me a tender crooked smile; it was like viewing the original of another painting I had come to know so well. I observed Kellen's grin.
It caused me to smile myself. I had always felt comfortable in the presence of Mrs. Cohen, even when I had first met her, she had been calm and sweet and welcoming.
I exhaled heavily, had I expected this to be easier? I suppose not. "I'm…" My lip began to tremble, how could I not say it? It was a simple eight letter word. I snorted. Simple should never be in the same sentence as pregnant.
My hands landed on my belly, and for the first time in a long time Mrs. Cohen gasped. "Oh, Analeigh!" I had nearly begun to cry at her tone, why did she have to sound so upset?
My insides felt tangled, as if parts of me were breaking open at the seams. It made my whole being shudder, I felt so cold, so disgusting.
There was a push against my hand from inside me. My grin was involuntary, yet I couldn't bring myself to hide it.
"How are you feeling?" She asked immediately, was it ironic that I was speaking to a nurse? Yes, indeed it was, I felt as if I was seated in my doctor's office being questioned and probed all at once.
I chewed the inside of my lip anxiously. "Cold." She nodded for me to continue, but at the moment I felt so uneasy, as if eyes were all over me from every angle, burning into me.
Gulping, I shunned my imagination and tried to explain. "And I fall asleep in class…a lot." I blushed furiously; I could feel my face heating up as I spoke, Mrs. Cohen smiling brightly.
"I can't sleep at night." I continued breathing in a lungful at a time. "And I haven't eaten anything…" I bit my lip, "Mostly because I don't know what I can eat." I exhaled, feeling as if an elephant and gotten off my chest.
"I couldn't ask Gavril because I don't want to hurt him. And I haven't told Dorian because he's going to be very angry with me once he finds out I've been lying." I could tell this was much more than she had expected.
Mrs. Cohen sucked in a few deep breaths, calming herself before she responded to me. Had I come to the right person? There was a loud "no" from the back of my head and I swallowed hesitantly.
Mrs. Cohen lifted her hand to cup my cheek, her fingertips tender and warm as she wiped away tears I failed to detect. "Analeigh, would you like to know what I think? I'll tell you the same thing I tell my boys: 'I'm not going to sugar coat it.'" She warned. I have come this far, might as well shove myself off the cliff now.
I nodded jerkily and she gave me a half-hearted grin.
"Analeigh, you cannot keep this baby. It will kill you." Her hand lowered to hold mine, the fist it had become.
"It will grow and when it is strong enough, it will come out, and there is no stopping that process." She said this very slowly, as if I was too stupid or too naïve to understand. "You cannot feed it human food, as it is not human-" I interrupted.
"C-could you please say her. I-it's just…easier." I whispered, feeling her gentle hand envelop mine.
"She needs to feed Analeigh, if you cannot provide her with what she needs to survive, sooner or later she will begin feeding on you. And you will not enjoy that." Mrs. Cohen paused briefly, allowing this to sink in and horrify me.
"She needs blood Analeigh, she needs her Father." There was the same finality to her words as there is with Dorian's. It made my stomach loop it painful twists, my tongue swelling to make me wheeze.
Soon my fingers her gripping hers, Mrs. Cohen lightly stroked the back of my hand with her thumb. "But Dorian will make me get rid of her." I murmured.
He had made that very during our last argument.
"That is the best decision if you wish to live. And, personally, I would rather see an Undying Analeigh than a dead Analeigh." Mrs. Cohen rubbed her eyes with her free hand. "However, I am in no position to stop you, if it is what you want. Just please, hon, don't throw your life away for her.
"I know this is very hard for you to understand but, Analeigh, she is-what she will be-is not the loving creature of your imagination." She was sugar coating it, practically repeating Dorian's words in a nice version.
"When it comes to be that time, you are going to be too weak for that thing, and it will come out, and it will feed on anything it can find." She said this sternly and I blinked back tears.
"You have to tell Dorian Analeigh, or else you are going to die."
& & &
I thought long and hard about what Mrs. Cohen had said. I did, really. I just….I just don't believe her.
Tell Dorian.
Die.
Tell Dorian.
I repeated those three words in my head, my only two options. Two choices, that seemed easy enough.
Any logical person would tell Dorian and face his two stages of wrath.
And any person, who knew how beautiful he was, how incredibly amazing he was, any pregnant person, would understand why I chose death.
This was my choice, my baby. Why would I give up something that would grow up to be so impossibly beautiful, something so marvellous? I wanted nothing more than what was inside me.
Dorian would understand that.
Lie.
Okay, no he wouldn't. But if I showed him how much this meant to me, how could he ever take her away from me? Dorian, so selfless, so noble wanted only for me to be happy.
This made me happy.
He would see, when she got here, he would understand then.
So, would I get rid of Lilliana Alexander?
No.
Sorry Mrs. Cohen.
A/N: Okay, I got a challenge for you guys: let's see if we can get 50 that's right the big five-oh reviews and I'll update. Yes, I know, I'm being mean and, don't get me wrong I absolutely love you guys, I mean, honestly, I would have deleted this story a long time ago if you guys didn't like it. But I want to say thanks again to everyone who commented and PMed me, you're all fantastic XD But I want to thank one person in particular: "xbunnyx," for the beautiful name you gave me :) so remember, 50 reviews...okay, maybe 49 lol. Thanks everyone
-Selene.