A/N: This is the last of the chapters I had in stock. If you're lucky, there might be another chapter by tomorrow, but if you're unlucky it can take the whole weekend.
Reviews are welcome!
Chapter 25 – Fat loot
"How did you do that?" Carter asked.
"Do what?" Minos returned with a sly grin.
"Transport things without using the rings."
"By using the rings with a few little swings."
"No, seriously." Carter said, impervious to Minos' rhyming.
"I slightly modified the Goa'uld transporter, so that it doesn't require rings. It's not really that hard."
"Can you explain that a little further?" Carter asked.
"I certainly can. But I think that should wait until later. I think it would be best if we got the heck out of here before Noob arrives." Minos answered.
"Noob?" O'Neill asked questioningly.
"A-noob-is. He who a noob is." Minos explained.
"Oh, Anubis. Nice nickname for him." O'Neill commented.
"I give most of the Goa'uld nicknames." Minos said.
"Like?"
"Nerdy, Conehead, Ball, Hat-whore, Sissy, Moth, O-sissy and Scar, for example."
"Which are nicknames for?" Daniel asked.
"Nirrti, Cronus, Ba'al, Hathor, Isis, Mot, Osiris and Sokar."
"Gotta remember those. Though some of them are dead already."
"We might want to leave the system now. Anubis' fleet is coming, and I don't know if he'd be too pleased if he knew we had stolen most of his stuff." Minos said.
"But what are you going to do with their shipyards? I mean, if we don't destroy them Anubis can just build new ones." Carter interjected.
"I think he'll suffer a small setback due to the fact that we've robbed most of the valuables on the planet and ships that were not finished yet." Minos said.
"But Daniel and I haven't been to those ships. How can you know where the valuables are?" Carter asked.
"I kinda set the transporter on auto-search." Minos said.
"You what?"
"I set the transporter on auto-search. I built a goa'uld-transporter-upgrade package once. I decided that it might come in handy now, so I took it with me from Avalon. It has an auto-search function, which searches for anything of value."
"You built that on your own?"
"I have a lot of free time. Besides, it's not really complicated."
"Not-really-complicated as in I would understand it, or as in only Carter would understand it."
"The last one. Probably."
"So that's complicated, right."
"Yah, but the search is finished. I think we can go now." Minos said.
"Ya think we should leave a message for Noob?" O'Neill suggested.
"Oh, that's probably a good idea." Minos answered.
He walked towards the control console on the Pel'tak of his ship, and the weapons charged. Several seconds later a multitude of bolts flew towards the planet.
"What was that?" O'Neill asked.
"That was my message to Noob. You might want to look at the planet." Minos said with a small grin.
Teal'c turned the image on the view-screen of the Ha'tak so that they could read the message that was burned in fiery letters on the planet. 'Anubis stinks!'
"Seriously?" O'Neill commented.
"Yep. Opening hyperdrive window in three-two- one ... GO!" Minos said, stopping any comments about his message to Anubis.
"Sir," The sergeant that came rushing into Hammonds office started, "NORAD has picked up 2 signals, both belonging to Goa'uld motherships."
"When will they arrive?" Hammond asked.
"Just under an hour, sir"
"Execute the emergency protocol." Hammond ordered.
Meanwhile, on one of the Ha'taks in hyperspace.
"O'Neill," Minos opened a channel, "We're in communications range with Earth now. I think it'd be best if you'd send a message."
"Yeah, that's probably smart. Can you drop us out of hyperspace?" O'Neill.
"Will do." Minos said as he closed the connection. A heartbeat later both ships dropped out of hyperspace.
Teal'c opened the connection with the SGC from the bridge of the Ha'tak.
"Hi guys!" O'Neill said cheerily.
"Colonel O'Neill!" Master sergeant Harriman said, seemingly surprised. "We hadn't expected you. I will call for general Hammond immediately."
A few seconds later General Hammond came into the view of the camera.
"Hi, General." O'Neill said.
"Good to see you, Colonel. I take it the mission was a success?"
"Yes, Sir. We've successfully stolen two Ha'taks. And some other stuff, of course, but I don't exactly know what and how many. But it's good stuff, sir."
"When will you arrive in orbit?" Hammond asked.
"In about an hour, sir. But I don't know if being in orbit is such a good idea. These ships are pretty large, so maybe someone can see or detect us."
"You're probably right. You might as well hide on or behind the moon. People will be unable to detect you on there, especially if you land on the dark side of it."
"We'll do that, sir. You might want to prepare for a load of goods. Minos loaded both ships pretty full, I think. We'll need a place for it to transport to."
"What should we be expecting?" Hammond asked.
"Minos said something about weapons, but that'd probably be staff weapons, zats and hand devices. Oh, and refined naquadah, sir. We've stolen Anubis' supply of it."
"You stole Anubis' supply of naquadah?" Hammond exclaimed.
"Yes, sir. At least, everything we could find, sir."
"I'm expecting an interesting debriefing. Hammond out." Hammond said as he closed the connection.
"Can you open an hyperspace window, Minos." O'Neill asked as he opened a connection to Minos' Ha'tak.
"Sure thing, Colonel." Minos said. Two seconds later both ships continued their journey towards Earth.
One hour later, two Ha'tak class vessels appeared out of hyperspace behind the moon, to avoid detection by the general population. O'Neill opened a channel to the SGC.
"Hi General." He said.
"Colonel." Hammond greeted back. "We've built a place where you can transport all the objects down. The only problem is that we do not have a ring system installed yet. I'm hoping that Major Carter or perhaps Minos can figure something out."
"That shouldn't be a problem. Minos already has found a way around that when we beamed everything aboard."
"All-right. You can transport the objects to the old hangar outside the base. We're transferring the coordinates right now."
"Got them, Sir." O'Neill answered after he received a nod from Teal'c. "We'll start transporting the things now, sir."
"All-right. Oh, and colonel?"
"Yes, sir?"
"You did a wonderful job. Give my thanks to your team, and Minos of course."
"Will do, Sir. O'Neill out."
The total transporting took little over one hour to complete, thanks to Minos' upgrades to the Goa'uld transporter and the efficiency of the SGC personnel down on the planet.
"Colonel O'Neill." Hammond chimed in over the transmission.
"Yes, sir."
"I've talked to the President, and they think that the motherships should stay on the far side of the moon. He also agreed with me that you can't stay there forever, so he issued that a crew is formed and that they guard the ship."
"I hope it's not an NID-crew, Sir?" O'Neill said, afraid of having to steal the same ship twice in a row.
"No, Colonel. The motherships are a matter of national security, and fall under air force jurisdiction. We will have to organise a branch for our own ships, seeing that we now have them."
"It, sir. We only have one. The other one is Minos' ship."
"Oh, my apologies."
"Doesn't matter, General." Minos suddenly joined into the communications.
"Minos, I wasn't aware you could have conference calls with Goa'uld motherships." O'Neill said.
"Actually, you can't. But I've upgraded the Goa'uld communication systems. Again. Oh, and General, you can keep one of the ships and all the other stuff aboard, but I need this one."
"All-right," General Hammond said. "Thanks for the help and the goods. You can beam the teams in the gate-room away. They're ready."
"General, Colonel, I'm afraid I must leave now. I should be going back home, to Avalon. Thanks for all the fun. I'm thinking you'll hear from me in about a week or so."
"Where are Carter and Daniel?" O'Neill asked, ignoring the temptation to ask more about next time.
"They should arrive on your Ha'tak in a few moments." Minos answered.
"We're here, Sir." Carter said over the radio. "We're ready."
"Well, I guess it is goodbye for now, Minos."
"Bye." Minos said as he closed the connection.
Minos' Ha'tak slowly turned, and jumped into hyperspace a few moments after, leaving only one Ha'tak on the dark side of the moon behind.
On the bridge of the Ha'tak, SG-1 patiently waited for the other personnel to arrive. Only a few minutes after Minos left, the relief crew arrived, consisting of SG-2 and 5. After they said their usual greetings and small talk and, of course, advice on how to run the Ha'tak, SG-1 left. They transported down to the planet by the upgraded Goa'uld transporter that Minos had left behind.
"Welcome back, SG-1. You did a bloody great job in stealing that Ha'tak." Hammond greeted his premier team as they were beamed directly into the gate room.
"Thank you, Sir." O'Neill greeted his commanding officer.
"Briefing is in one hour. Now if you would all be so kind to report to the infirmary for post mission checks, we can have those out of the way and start the briefing on time."
"Will do, Sir."
SG-1 came walking into the infirmary ten minutes later, catching doctor Frasier by surprise.
"Wow. Not one of you is injured." She exclaimed in surprise. "That's a rarity around here."
"Aww, come on doc. We're not that bad, are we?" O'Neill mocked.
"Well, sir, we kind of are. On most missions there is something, someone injured or something broken." Sam said.
"Really?" O'Neill said with a fake tone. "I hadn't noticed it at all!"
"I must agree with Mayor Carter, O'Neill. On most of our missions we have returned injured, especially in comparison to other teams." Teal'c said.
"Well, that's because we're the first team. We're supposed to go into first contact with people. And that doesn't always turn out well." O'Neill retorted.
"Mind if I interrupt, Colonel?" Frasier said on a tone that sounded sweet, but had an undertone of pure acid.
"Maybe we get injured so much because we always get needles stuck in our butt." O'Neill sarcastically suggested, but he followed Frasier to the curtain.
"Stop complaining. Needles don't need to hurt if you sit still!" Frasier said.
"Well, I'm bad at sitting still." O'Neill retorted. "Always was, even as a kid."
"Why do I have absolutely no trouble believing that?" Frasier rhetorically muttered under her breath.
After they all had the usual needle session with Frasier, SG-1 was cleared to leave the infirmary and they left for the conference room. Due to O'Neills stubbornness it had taken almost an hour to check them, and they were just in time for the debriefing. Carter suspected O'Neill had done it on purpose, but she couldn't prove anything.
They'd all taken place in their usual seats surrounding the conference table, and they'd started bringing General Hammond up to speed on the facts around their last mission. Hammond listened carefully as O'Neill told the main story, with additions from Carter of course. They'd hadn't left out the part where Minos used his ships weapons to write 'Anubis stinks' on the planet, and Hammond had laughed as they told it. Minos might not do everything as usual, but there was something to say about his way of doing things.
Almost two hours after the briefing started, when O'Neill had finally finished recounting his story, an Airman came in.
"Sir. We have the reports on the goods beamed down, sir."
"Very well. Let's see." Hammond said after he took the reports from the airmen, who left soon after.
"Wow. This is certainly a lot of supplies. You've stolen almost ten tonnes of weapons-grade naquadah from Anubis, together with over nine-thousand staff weapons, five thousand Zats and two thousand sets of armour. This is enough to build a whole army!" Hammond concluded.
"Anubis is gonna be so pissed." O'Neill said.