File 25: Glitz, Glamor, and Gold

"You're all doomed to hell!" Forte yelled at some soldiers entering a military base. "Encouraging hatred will only lead to hellfire and damnation."

"Good grief," one soldier said. "We don't do anything and we get yelled at. Go preach in a church, fool."

"You're the fools," he insisted. "You go blindly where your commanders say, go blindly to your own deaths. Then there will be no chance to save your souls. Leave this warrior pen behind and led a proper life to salvation."

Rock came up to them and gave them some wildflowers. "Please, think of world peace instead. We no longer need armies to fight each other. Nature needs us to survive."

"Cute kids," the second said. "Annoying, but cute." They went in.

"Shoot," Forte said, sitting on his podium of milk crates. "They're supposed to tremble for their sickly souls, like I did. Why aren't they?"

Rock came over and put a daisy chain on Forte's helmet. "Perhaps you shouldn't be so harsh. Make your words beautiful and the souls will come. Beauty gets everyone."

"Maybe."

"Hey, isn't that your brother?"

He looked up. "Yeah it is. Hey Zero!"

He waved. "Hey Forte, Rock. What are you two up to?"

"Trying to convert the military," Rock reported. "It's not going well."

"What are you doing?" Forte asked, putting the daisy chain on Rock instead.

"I've become a mercenary. There's a girl that's supposed to be here. I've protected her several times over the past six months. She called me up an hour ago, wouldn't say what for, just to be here."

Rock smiled slyly. "You like her?"

Zero smiled back. "She's cute, but I wouldn't say that to her face. She's got a very rich and powerful family, so I keep quiet on my own thoughts."

Forte looked at him skeptically. "And you've been protecting her?"

He shrugged. "It's a girl thing, I think. She's got stalkers. Creepy ones too."

Rock handed him a daisy. "Maybe she likes you."

"That'd be nice, but I'm expecting to get paid for whatever she wants me for today. Oh, wait, no, that's sounded really bad."

The other two were already laughing at him. "You'd b-better not be doing that," Forte said, trying to maintain his religious prophet status while laughing. "Otherwise I'll have to come smack some sense into you."

"No worries there."

Iris came out of the gate. "Hi Zero, nice to see you again." She frowned as she saw the three of them trying to calm their laughing fits. "What are you three up to?"

Zero shook his head. "Nothing, Iris. Just my brother and his friend teasing me."

Iris glanced at the daisy chain decorated Rock. "Your brother?"

"No, this is my brother, Forte. The flower child is Rock."

"Whatever. Come along. You need to meet some people before this evening."

"You two behave now," Rock said, inciting another laughter fit from Forte.

Zero waited until they'd walked down two blocks. "Sorry about them. Can never tell where and when they'll show up."

"I've seen 'em around before. They come out to our casinos and scare customers off. We've tried to get them for it, but the law won't touch sidewalk preachers."

"They mean well. Want a flower?" He offered her the daisy.

Iris frowned. "That's a weed."

Zero looked at it, then stuck it to his helmet. "Weeds are flowers too. So you work at a casino?"

"I own the whole casino. The White Lion line; ever been to one?"

"Not to the casino, but I've gone to a few of the pubs before."

"You ought to come. Just ring me up some time and I'll make sure you get treated right. Friend of the family, you know?" She put her finger to her lips, as if it were some sort of conspiracy.

"Maybe. So what did you want me for tonight?"

She giggled. "You ought to say that dirtier."

He fought blushing. "I'd rather not."

"Oh, fine. You're going to be my escort for tonight's gala ball at the Golden Bricks Casino. Big event; if things go right, I'll be buying the place out shortly."

"You're hiring me for a date?"

"Of course I am, silly. It's a huge deal and I don't have a boyfriend suitable to bring."

"That sounds a little weird."

"Not really. All my sisters will have hired dates. Probably hot dancers or ugly rich guys like usual. They've been taunting me for ages now that I haven't gotten a looker for these events, and if I don't outdo them now, I think Tulip's gonna shove me out of the way. I won't stand for that. So when this came up, I figured you'd outdo any guy they can scrounge up on the strip."

"You know, this isn't what I had in mind when I offered to protect you."

"You really gonna split me on this? You get paid to accompany me into an exclusive club event, just hang around and look nice, have whatever you want off the five star buffet, and maybe even piss off a couple of my sisters and their dates. I thought you'd like something like that."

"Well, if you put it that way, sure. I'll come along." Besides, she was pretty.

"Good. Now, hurry along, we have to get you prepared, then I need to introduce you to the family, and then we're off to Golden Bricks. That's a lot before evening."

"Get me prepared?"

"This is a glitzy event. You'll need to get really classy armor, not that thing you're wearing now. Don't worry, I got that covered. You just have to help me pick out a dress in exchange."

Clothes shopping with a girl… "Sure. But no messing with my hair, got it?"

"I want it cleaned up better, but that's all I'll ask."

"I can go with that."

"Do you think the rhinestones are too much?"

"Oh no, you look fabulous."

"You look like a cupcake, Cyber," Iris said as she and Zero walked into the armor shop. It was glitzier than X's gallery.

Cupcake was an apt description. Cyber Peacock had changed all his tail feathers to white with clear rhinestones and pearls. His body armor was shimmering white with sequins and the crest on his head held more white feathers, curled, with a pearl edging. On his feet, he had high boots in white and rhinestones. He looked startled. "Oh, princess, there you are. Do you think this is too much? I figured tonight would be a major social event where we'd have to look the cream of the crop."

"No you're perfect. Jet could use a bit polishing up though."

Jet Stingray's armor was lined with corded edging on every line. He wasn't ornate like Cyber was, although the beaded fringe hanging off his wings was a bit much in Zero's taste. "I'm not done. Cyber just needed another opinion on his latest creation."

"You need something special for tonight?" Cyber asked, "Or do you already have a dress armor?"

"This is important; of course I'm here for something new. It'd better be good. Also, we need to dress my escort properly. This is Zero; he works as a freelance bodyguard. These are my artsy brothers, Cyber Peacock and Jet Stingray."

He shook hands with Iris' brothers, but at the same time felt like quitting right now and going home. These guys were going to provide their dress armors? If Zero wound up covered in rhinestones and beaded frills, this was going to be the most embarrassing night of his life. "Hello."

They acknowledged him a second, then Jet said, "Iris, I've got a lovely silk-enhanced model you need to try out. It's exactly how you like it, I made it just for you."

"That's sweet, I'll see about it. What do you think would work on him Cyber?"

"I haven't worn many dress armors," Zero admitted. "At least not like that."

"New at this? Don't worry, you're darling already, there isn't much that can go wrong on you. Here, hold still."

He did so and wondered if he should be worried about being called 'darling'.

Cyber touched one of the joints. "Hold on now, I know this craft. This is from Maverick X's shop, isn't it?"

"Yes."

"How do you know that?" Jet asked.

"Oh, just look at him. X has an eagle eye for quality and fluidity. His designs are rather simple, but he makes such a statement. I am so jealous of him. I've been trying for years to get him to work with me, but he is just a stubborn old goat."

Iris rolled her eyes. "About tonight, Cyber. We don't have much time."

"Right princess."

"I'll show you my piece," Jet said. "Come this way."

"Fine. But I want to approve before an hour's up."

"Certainly." Once she was out of the room, Cyber muttered, "An hour, dear lord. You are a brave man for being her escort, Zero."

"I'm what? I think she's a nice girl, although she could take her pride down a few notches."

"And her temper. I'm warning you, don't get her mad. You'll regret it."

"Okay. So about this social party,"

"It's a gala ball." Cyber studied Zero's hand. "You don't have much experience in high society, do you?"

"None at all."

"Right. Well…" he thought. "That guitar…"

Zero glared without thinking. "Nobody takes Angel from me."

"You're a musician?"

"Yes, a hundred percent."

"Don't worry, I wasn't thinking that. Is that really an authentic Jewel Tectonic?"

"Absolutely. She's my pride and joy."

"I hear you completely, it's marvelous. You know, I think I can find something to match the guitar perfectly."

Zero smiled. "I'd like that."

"That will do quite nicely," Iris said, as she admired them in a mirrored wall. Her dress armor made her look like a gypsy, well, a very rich gypsy with real jewels on the neckpiece. She was very beautiful.

"I feel like I belong in Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band," Zero said.

"What are you talking about?"

He grinned. "Your brother did a good job, especially cause he matched my armor to my guitar. It's a good thing."

"All right, if you say so."

Zero still had the daisy, so he tried to put it on her shoulder. "Now if we just attach this here…"

"What, no!" She laughed as she brushed the daisy off. "Cute, but I am not wearing a weed."

"We could go get some more wildflowers and make a better corsage out of it."

"That is a good idea, but I know a lovely florist who'll do a much better job than wildflowers. Gracious, what would people say to that? And don't you put it back in your hair again."

He reluctantly put it on a low wall. "If you wish. Hey, I could get that corsage for you, if you like."

"Aw, that's sweet of you."

Unfortunately, she had expensive tastes in flowers. Zero went ahead and bought her the seventy-five zenny orchid she liked. It wasn't a huge deal like the dress armors, which he did not even dare to think of the price she'd paid for them again. The only reason he'd checked was to give X a comparison for his custom jobs later. These were way out of his league.

Then it was time to meet her family. Or 'the family', as she put it.

They went into her resort hotel casino, the White Lion, and went straight in back to a private wing. There were a lot of reploids back here, all of them extravagantly dressed. "The guests are gathering here?" he asked quietly.

"No, this is the family."

"All of them?" He looked about skeptically. There had to be over fifty reploids in his sights.

"Well, there's my family, at the core of the family of Repliforce. Got it?"

"The family of Repliforce… okay. What exactly do you do?"

"We get very rich," Iris said plainly.

"Obviously."

"Perhaps if you would like to be in on the family, we could explain it a bit more in detail. But you would have to pass Poppa's approval first."

He was getting the idea this wasn't entirely legal. But neither was X's business in its entirety, so he knew how to shut up. "I see."

"Hello, princess," someone in front of them said. It was a tall, sharply dressed reploid male in black and gold armor. Standing next to him was an even taller reploid in what appeared to be completely golden armor. It was stunning. How did he get that much gold?

"Hello. Zero, this is my father, General, and my closest brother, Colonel. And this is Zero, my sometimes bodyguard and my escort for tonight."

"It's good to meet you both," Zero said politely. He shook hands with them.

Then the golden General spoke. All Zero heard was gibberish. He concentrated on keeping a straight face.

Colonel smiled in amusement. "Good to meet you too. The General says you certainly have the air of a warrior, although you look like a pansy."

"Looks don't mean anything, especially when fooling others."

General chuckled, and he took that as a good sign. He spouted some more mumbling gibberish, which Colonel obediently translated as, "Just be sure to take care of our princess with respect and honor. She has a lot on her hands tonight." Colonel added on, "And if you don't, I wouldn't mind thrashing your pretty blonde self into a pulp."

General scolded him with a tap.

Iris said, "You don't have to be that way, brother. And watch the comments you make about his hair; I've seen him punch the daylights out of someone who called it girly."

"He had it coming to him," Zero added.

General spoke more nonsense.

"The General says that you have every right to be proud of that, especially since you keep it that long. And that Tulip's going to throw a hissy fit when she sees him. But Poppa, she really deserves something like this. She's been a total bitch lately when you're not around."

"No kidding," Iris said.

The General shrugged and said something that he found amusing. It didn't get translated.

"We'd best get a move on," Colonel said. "The ball opens shortly."

They certainly treated Iris like a princess. She and Zero got sat at one of the best tables in the restaurant, in full view of everyone else in the room and with an excellent view to the stage where a live jazz band was playing. That sort of center of attention-ness compelled him to have absolute excellent manners. So even though the steak plates were really tempting, he took small portion of fish. Even though he was used to speaking whatever came to mind, he watched everything he said. And even though the glitzy rich pretentiousness got to him a lot, he politely smiled and bluffed his way through the evening.

And it was a very important business night for her. Zero watched and listened as Iris spoke to dozens of rich important people, impressing those that needed to be impressed and intimidating those that needed to be intimidated. Especially the couple that currently owned Golden Bricks. At one point, when they weren't looking, Iris rolled her eyes at all the social games they were making her play to acquire their resort.

Zero's main job was to make her look really good, and he had to admit, he was getting to enjoy it. At any point someone thought to notice and speak to him, he made certain that they knew his opinion of her was that she was smart, beautiful, better than every other female in the room, and it was an honor just to be tagging along with her tonight. Actually, he spotted some nice looking female reploids that could easily compete with Iris, and he was hoping to get a fat payment out of this evening.

Still, some of the looks she threw him when he was complimenting her made him hope that she meant those looks. And the constant repetition of praise was becoming sort of real. It was a strange feeling. He reminded himself several times that she was the client and he was the bodyguard.

Iris was currently chatting with Rose, the oldest of the Repliforce girls. And a total airhead in Zero's opinion. If she didn't understand something, which was often, she would smile and giggle, hoping that would cover her ignorance. Then Tulip showed up with her escort, a human with long red hair to the middle of his back.

Introductions were made around the group. Tulip's human was Mark something-or-another, and probably had been hired like Zero was, just for the evening ball. "What's he do?" Iris asked.

"He teaches karate and yoga," Tulip said. "So what does your girly man do?"

"He's a mercenary," Iris said.

"I usually do personal guarding, assassinations, intelligence work, temp Marine work, honor dueling, stealth missions, and some other things too secret to speak of. But I couldn't resist coming along with your lovely sister tonight. She has a way with words."

Rose giggled. "Aw, he's a sweetheart, Iris. You ought to keep a hold of him."

"He even paid for my corsage," Iris said. "I'm surprised you didn't get one too, Tulip. Both Rose and I have one, and you usually do."

"Of course I have one," Rose said. Then again, it seemed her escort was actually her boyfriend, judging by the fact that they couldn't keep their hands off each other.

"I didn't have time," Tulip said, trying to brush it off. "This was a last minute invitation, you know."

"For all of us, yeah. Did you not even have time to get a new dress?"

"You'd take any excuse to go clothes shopping."

"And you wouldn't?" Rose said.

"Oh, Poppa," Tulip said, for the General had come by, "Iris and Rose are being such ninnies."

He said something to her that made Rose and Iris giggle. "What was that about?" Rose's boyfriend asked when Tulip stormed off and the General moved on.

"He said at least they have proper dates."

"What language exactly is he speaking?" Zero asked.

"Poppa speaks English," Rose said.

"But he refuses to," Iris explained. "He sticks to Italian. Very stubborn about it, but he's important enough to get away with it."

"That was sort of fun," Zero said. Iris gave him a questioning look. "Not really."

"Well, sorry. It was official family business after all. But you did an excellent job. I think Poppa likes you."

"That's good. I don't think I want to be on his bad side."

"You may keep that armor. And here's the base check I originally negotiated. I'll see about getting you something more because you did much better than I hoped for."

"That's the point." He took a quick glance at it. Two thousand zenny, plus a high-end armor, and she might get something more. He didn't react externally, but internally, it was way more than he'd charge for a single evening of anti-stalker guarding.

"Would you like in on our Repliforce?"

"I'd rather stay independent for the time being." Actually, it had to do with his enormous debt to X more than anything. "But I'll keep you as a priority client."

Iris smiled playfully and touched his arm. "So, now that our business is done, would you like a personal date with me later on?"

"Are you still dealing your family business?"

"Not this time. You're not too bad, for a merc."

"Is that all?"

"So maybe I want to know what you're really like. What do you say? Sometime next week?"

He put on a show that it took some deciding. But actually, it didn't. "I might be available. But if I'm paying, you're not choosing."

She shoved him gently. "Oh, you… well, I suppose I shouldn't fuss over that. Please?"

Something about how she said it and how she looked when she said it made him smile. "Okay Iris."

Turning Repliforce into a mafia seemed kind of natural to me, since I was twisting all sorts of other things about the X series about. This would be one of my favorite chapters, I think.