Hey guys!

Okay so here is the big chapter!

Now as a small warning to those more sensetive amongst us, expect a lot of angst

Anywho I shall leave you to it.

Oh! And for the record *ahem* EDWARD WAS NOT STILL SLEEPING WITH TANYA THEY PRETTY MUCH BROKE UP MONTHS AGO BUT IT WASN'T OFFICIAL AND SO EDWARD WAS TOO MUCH OF A GENTLEMEN TO GO FOR BELLA JUST YET PLUS HE WASN'T SURE IF HE'D GET REJECTED AND WAS THEREFORE SHITTING HIMSELF *ahem* (for the record the capitals were just for your attention thats not me yelling at you throught the computer screen ^^) as for him being a douche, well i figured that there are too many stories where Edward is loved by all and i wanted to be a bit different lol sue me xD (please don't actually do that)

Thankyou, just needed to draw that to you attention

R&R

Happy

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Chapter 25

BPOV

I pulled up in a cab outside Cullen inc. I knew Edward would still be there despite the late hour. I took a deep breath and stepped into the dimly lit lobby and then into the elevator. My heart raced, my head span and I could feel the gagging vomit rising in my throat. But if it meant Edward got as little pain as possible, I would sacrifice anything for that. Even if it meant having to live with the pain of him hating me. The lights in the office were off, save for the lights of Edward's office. I stepped shakily down the isle and paused before knocking gently on Edward's door "come in" he mumbled. I entered the room and closed the door tightly behind me. Edward looked up at me with a sigh and pushed his laptop to the side "unless you have an explanation as to why you have taken so long to do are you were asked and still come back empty handed Miss. Swan I really don't see the point in you being here"

"Edward Anthony Cullen stop this right now" his eyes widened "right at this moment, I am not your employee I am your friend and I don't care wither you agree with that or not. Edward I have something to tell you" he blinked a couple of times and sighed in defeat, his features softening

"What is it Bella?" he asked in a whisper. I'd finally got through to him and now I had to throw it all away.

"Edward I know that you're probably not going to believe this and I know your probably going to hate me for this but I have to tell you because you deserve to hear it from me as your friend before you hear it as gossip"

"Spit it out Bella" I took a deep breath

"Tanya's cheating on you with Mike and James" his features hardened and that was it. My Edward was gone.

"Miss. Swan I understand if you feel the need to partake in office drama gossip but I would appreciate of you kept my personal life out of it and stop spewing such drivel to me"

"Edward I'm not lying!" I begged for him to believe me

"Miss. Swan why must you insist on testing my patience today!?" he yelled raising out of his seat "do you think it's fun?" he edged towards me, and for the first time in my life I was afraid of him.

"Edward I'm not lying, please you have to believe me!"

"Why Bella? Why couldn't you just be happy for me!?" he backed me up against the wall, his face inches from mine and tears spilled over my eyes and gushed down my face "why do you have to hurt me Bella? You do you have to be such a fucking bitch!? Was it not enough that you parade around with every male in this office block staring at you chest? Is it not enough to then just leave me out of it? What have I ever done to you to make you act this way? Why Bella? Why!?" Edward backed away from me and swiped up a desk lamp before hurling it at the wall beside me "GET OUT!" he screamed

"LEAVE" I couldn't move. "FUCKING LEAVE BELLA"

My brain connected with my legs and in a blur I found myself standing outside my apartment. I pushed open the door and took one step inside before my legs gave out. My chest constricted and my heart ripped in two. The sobs raked through my body uncontrollably "Bella oh my god what happened?!" six different voices came at once. "Alice Rose it hurts!" I cried "it hurts so much make it stop" I felt both Alice and Rose grip me into a hug as shook and cried and shook uncontrollably.

APOV

I ran to Bella as the door opened, a large gash was evident and bleeding on her cheek. We should never have sent her alone. She took one stumble forward and her legs gave out under her. Rose and I caught her just before she hit the floor and she sobbed into our shoulders "Alice Rose it hurts!" she cried, her words barely audible from her cries. In all the years I'd know Bella, I had never seen her this broken. The tears welled up in my eyes as she begged "it hurts so much make it stop" I glanced toward the boys were seated together. Rage was evident "I love him" Bellas sobbed. It was the first time she'd said it. We could all see it but Bella denied it until now. "I love him so much" I felt my own tears spill over as Rose and I rocked her until she cried herself to sleep. Emmett carried her into her room and laid her on her bed. Before stepping outside

"I'll fucking kill him" Emmett said through gritted teeth "I swear to god I'll rip fucking head off" It was evident in both Jasper and Emmett that the protective big bother instinct had taken over. Over the time we had known them Bella had truly become their little sister. I hugged Jasper tight

"Don't let Emmett hurt him. It'll only upset Bella more" I whispered. He nodded and kissed me gently before they left. Jake and Seth went home and Jasper and Emmett went to find Edward.

EPOV

I sat in my office replaying what had just happened. I knew that Bella was telling the truth. I threw a fucking lamp at her. What was wrong with me? My legs numbly carried me home thought the streets and I found myself sitting on the bathroom floor crying my fucking eyes out. What had I done? I just fucked things up well and truly with the woman I love. I made her cry, I yelled at her, I pretty much called her a whore and I physically hurt her. The look on her face as the shard of glace sliced her cheek will be the substance of my nightmares. I felt sick. I let my head smack against the tiles on the wall until it hurt so much I cried just from the pain. What the hell was wrong with me!? How could I do that to Bella? My Bella? The girl who completed me in every sense of the word. The girl I loved with every fibre of my being and I threw a god damn lamp at her!? I was sick.

Emmett stood suddenly at my bathroom door, he noted the razor in my hand. I deserved it. "Don't you fucking dare" he warned "if you fucking leave Bella after everything you've done to her I swear to god I will bring back from the dead just to kill you myself" he looked down on me with disgust and then left. Jasper stood leaning against the door frame next. He sighed always the more compassionate of the two. He took the razor from my hand and then opened the cabinet to take all other sharp objects. He put them in my empty over night bag and zipped it shut "Jasper I love her" he nodded

"I know"

"I can't live without her. What do I do?" I asked him he just sighed

"I don't know man. You seriously fucked up this time" I nodded more tears. "go to bed Edward, sleep it off"

BPOV

I closed my eyes tightly as I felt the bed sink on either side of me, I didn't even realise I was crying anymore. I opened my eyes slightly to see Alice on one side of me and Rose on the other. Gently Rose placed her finger on my cheek and I winced. It hurt like hell. Rose sighed "How does a nice hot bath sound?" Alice asked. I nodded and they both helped me off the bed and out of my clothes before setting me into the tub. I couldn't feel if the water was hot or cold. It was just there. Alice disappeared and reappeared in a second before kneeling down by the tub and pulling things out of the first aid box. Rose put the lid of the toilet down and dropped onto it. Alice carefully cleaned what seemed to be a gash on my face and patched me up before hopping up onto the counter by the sink.

I lay my head back on the tub and closed my eyes. I could feel both Rose and Alice itching to say something, ask something. "he didn't hit me" I answered , my eyes staying closed.

"Em, don't hurt him he didn't hit her" Rose muttered before the click if a phone ending a call.

"So you gonna tell us what happened?" Alice asked in a weary voice. I wasn't ready for this

"Not yet" I whispered. Carefully Rose and Alice pulled me out of the tub, towelled me off put me in a pair of sweats before lying down with me. Both of them had their arms wrapped tenderly around me, as if I was glass. It wasn't what I needed although it helped what I needed were His arms, strong, protective, warm arms that wrapped around me and held me into his solid chest.

The minutes dragged into hours the hours into days, the days faded into weeks and still I was numb.

I ate, slept, dressed, showered all the things that one had to do to survive but that was it. I hardly left my room, and I almost never left the apartment. To begin with there were nightmares. Everyone took it in turns to sit with me though the night, some were worse than others. Sometimes I'd just wake up crying, others I'd be screaming. For about the first week I didn't talk to anyone and Alice and Rose took it in turns to stay home with me during the day afraid that I might try to do something stupid.

Eventually I told them what happened; Seth had thankfully taken some paid leave from work and took to trying to cheer me up by dressing up as a woman to take my place at work. Wither He still went to work or what He did after that night I didn't know. I couldn't even bring myself to think of His name without bleeding a little more on the inside.

By the second week I would smile occasionally, I'd talk when I needed to, but I was still distant. From what I heard listening in on the others convocations He was much the same as me, but one weekend Emmett and Jasper woke up and found him gone. He left a note saying he had to get away for a bit. It was like another close range shot, He couldn't even stand to be in the same city as me. But I couldn't cry anymore, every tear I had had been shed, every sob, every scream in agony was used up and I was tired.

It was the thirds week since it happened, a Tuesday I think, I wasn't to sure. Alice knocked on my bedroom door and then stepped inside with Rose on her heals. They sat on either side of me on the bed and Alice handed me the phone in her hand. I looked at her, I hadn't had any phone calls for weeks. I took the phone in my hand and pressed it to my ear, scare to my whit's end that I would hear His voice on the other end "Bells?" My mothers voice sounded. I exhaled the breath I was holding

"Hi mom" I said simply

"Bella honey, I know things aren't great for you right now, Alice told me what happened. But sweetheart you need to come home. Your grandmother isn't doing good, she doesn't have long"

"I'm coming" I replied handing the phone back to Alice. In a daze I grabbed a bag from the bottom of my wardrobe making sure not to look at the hoodie and the small box that held my birthday present from Him that I had stuffed there and pushed the necessities into the bag.

"Bella you okay?" Rose asked as I stepped into the bathroom to grab my tooth brush. I nodded and looked at myself in the mirror for the first time in so long. The girl staring back at me was thinner than I remember, her cheeks were not as full, her eyes were not as bright. Her hair was flatter and she looked almost sickly with a small white band aid patch taped over one cheek. Carefully I raised my hand to the band aid, watching as the girl in the mirror copied. I pulled the band aid off and ran my finger along the pinkish line where the gash once was. I closed my eyes taking a deep breath before shoving my tooth brush in the bag and turning to Alice and Rose who were waiting by the door.

"I have to go home. Grandma doesn't have long. I'll be fine and I'll call when I'm coming home" Alice hugged me tightly as Rose handed me her car keys. I forced a smile and gave them both a quick hug before leaving the apartment.

I pulled up outside my parent's home in Forks, Washington and picked up my bag before going to the door. I pressed the door bell and the door immediately swung open to reveal my father. He stood a few inches taller than me, his hair was white with age and his face was tired but happy. I forced a smile as he hugged me tightly to his chest. Charlie never was one for emotions, but the love and feeling in the gesture was something that I craved. He kissed the top of my head with a simple "I knew he wasn't good enough for you" the smile I had forced became more natural. Being the police chief when I was younger my father had a knack for scaring away every potential boyfriend just because he owned a gun. My mother quickly pulled me from my fathers arms and hugged me tightly

"Hi mom" I muttered as she gushed about how much I'd grown and the general things moms did when they saw their child for the first time in months.

Renee was defiantly the more vocal of my parents but quickly took my hand as led me up the stairs. The doctors had released my grandmother to be at home for her final days and as I ascended the stairs I nodded in hello to the doctor who passed me descending.

I stood outside my bedroom door for a moment trying to get my head around the fact that this could be the last chance I had to ever see my beloved Grandmother. I pushed open the door to see her sitting up in my bed. She smiled weakly as she saw me "Isabella" she was the only person I knew who ever called me by my full name. The room was dimly lit and small amount of light that was available threw a yellowy hew over my grandmothers pale features. I never seemed to be able to understand how she did it, but although my grandmother was very old she still managed to retain a head full of luscious mahogany curls. I smiled as I set myself in the chair by the bed. I could remember her sitting in that very rocking chair when I was a child as she read to me before bed.

My grandmother raised her hand and gently stroked the pink line on my cheek, her smile fading and her ever wise brow tweaking into a frown "My dear girl what has you so down?" she asked. My grandmother could read me better than anyone and it was for this reason that she was so close my heart, in many ways I was more like her than I was like my parents. I leaned my head into her hand "it's nothing Grandma" I whispered

"In all my years Isabella I have never heard you tell such tales. Come now, tell me what's bothering you. A problem shared is a problem halved" I opened my mouth to protest but she quickly spoke "if your going to tell me that I shouldn't waste our last moments together talking of your happiness then I shall scream" she said firmly. I smiled, typical grandma. I took a deep breath and gave her a quick run down of the events that had unfolded to lead to me where I was. I closed my eyes as I finished letting a big, heavy tear roll down my cheek

"Isabella?" she asked me firmly. I opened my eyes to look at her "do you love him?" she asked

"So much it hurts" I replied softly

"If you had to relive the pain your feeling now in order to keep him form hurting again would you?" she questioned

"Yes"

"And would you love him if he was anything but what he was?"

"No" another big tear rolled down my cheek

"Isabella, my dear, sweet Isabella" she cooed wiping my tears away "if you love this boy as much as you say you do then for goodness sakes fight for him" I looked up at her "Love like what you feel doesn't happened very often to us and when it does you can't let it go" she smiled softly as she continued "Love is not an easy path, it's not painless and it's not always as pretty as we hope for it to be. But giving up on him will bring you no happiness. Could you honestly live with yourself knowing that you let him slip away? Would you ever find anyone who makes you feel the way that he does or would you spend the rest of your life wondering what if? You've fought for him so far and you love him even still. If you give up on him now you'll regret it the rest of your life" she leaned forward and kissed the top of my head "I'm old and I'm dying and I don't have much left. But I will never regret a day of my life because of the joy that you've given to me. All I can do now is to hope that I have guided you to make the right decision in order for you to be happy for the rest of your life. So that when your as old as I am and your lying in your grand-daughters bed you can leave this place knowing that you never regretted a day" I perched myself on the edge of the bed and hugged her tightly thanking her again and again. My parents joined me soon after and the four of us sat together in that dimly lit room taking a trip down memory lane until the steady beat of four sleeping hearts subsided into three and the dawn of another day broke through the thin glass of the window and spilled out onto us in mourning.

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Everyone hating Edward well and truely?

Good good

xD

Don't worry things will get better... or will they?

Hehe

Reviewwwwwwwwwwwww

Happy

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