**Nothing from Charmed or Supernatural belongs to me.**

Chapter Twenty-Five

After they ate lunch, Dean got up to pace the room some more. Melinda sighed, resting back against the pillows. She ran a hand over the nightstand, pretending not to notice the dull ache in her head. She and Dean had been sitting in silence for hours. She was beginning to rethink this whole "lock themselves up until they let it out" thing when Dean let out a long sigh.

"I know you heard him."

Melinda looked up, meeting Dean's eyes.

"Who, baby?"
"Alistair. You heard what he said … about me having promise."

Melinda thought for a moment, then nodded. Alistair was the demon that had been after Anna. She thought back to them in the barn, when Dean had hit him with a crowbar.

"Dean, Dean, Dean. I am so disappointed. You showed such promise!"

"Aren't you curious?"

Coming back to reality, Melinda looked over to Dean, who was looking out the window. He took in a breath, speaking as quietly as he did before.

"About what happened in hell?"

Melinda swallowed.

"I'm damn curious, Dean. But you aren't talking about it, and I don't want to push you."

He nodded, with a sad smile on his face. Melinda sat up, pushing the blankets off of her, while Dean took a seat on the edge of the couch. He couldn't look at her, so he stared out the window.

"It wasn't four months, you know."

Melinda looked up from staring at her hands, looking over to Dean. She didn't say a word, so he kept on.

"Time moves differently down there. It was four months up here, but down there … It was more like forty years."

Dean was slowly rubbing his hands together, and he looked down at them.

"They sliced and carved and tore at me in ways you wouldn't believe. They took on different forms as they did it, too. Different people that I wasn't able to save. Friends of ours. My dad. My mom, sometimes. Sam. You."

Melinda shook her head as she closed her eyes. If she ever had the chance, she would find those demons and give them the most painful death she could. Dean took in a shaky breath.

"They would go on and on … Until there was nothing left. And then, suddenly… I'd be whole again. Like magic. Just so they could start all over."

A tear slid down Melinda's face. Dean still stared at his hands, still gently rubbing them together.

"And at the end of every day, Alistair would come to me, and he would make me an offer. Every freakin' day. He would take me off the rack … If I put souls on. I could get off, if I started to torture. And every day, I told him he could stick it where the sun shines."

Dean smiled, and Melinda couldn't help but smile, too. Then Dean clenched his hands.

"For thirty years, I told him no."

Melinda's smile disappeared. Thirty? Hadn't he said he was down there for forty years? Her stomach clenched as she shook her head. Oh, God. Please, no. Dean's voice was shaking now.

"But then I couldn't do it anymore. I just couldn't. And I got off that rack. God help me, I got right off it."

A tear rolled down his face, and Melinda covered her mouth with a hand.

"And I started ripping them apart. I lost count of how many souls. The things that I did to them…"

He shook his head, tears rolling down his face. Melinda covered her face with her hands, holding in her sobs.

"I can still hear them. The screams. Begging me not to, to please, please stop. That's what I dream about. Not the torture I received; the torture I inflicted. The souls that I carved and tore and ripped to shreds, every night I hear them."

He let out a sob, and Melinda echoed it on the bed.

"I can't escape it. I try to forget it, but it keeps coming back. And what's inside of me, what I feel… I wish I couldn't feel it. I wish I couldn't feel a damn thing."

He covered his face with his hands, and Melinda climbed off the bed. She walked over and knelt in front of him.

"Dean."

He shook his head. He was sitting on the couch, bent over, his elbows on his knees, his hands covering his face. Melinda took hold of his hands, pulling them away. His face was red, and tears were still streaking down his cheeks. She let out a shaky breath.

"Dean, you held out for thirty years. That's longer than anyone would have."

He shook his head, and she gripped his legs.

"Yes, it is. The things they put you through…"

Tears coursed down her face as he bit back a sob. She moved her hands up, wiping the tears from his cheeks.

"I wish I could take your pain away. I wish I could make it easier for you."

He shook his head, as the tears continued to fall. She shook her head, looking up at him.

"Tell me what to do. I don't know what to say to you. How can I help you?"

He took hold of her arms, pulling her up to her feet as he stood. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close and holding her tightly. She sighed, feeling him put his face in her hair and she let out a quiet sob. She gripped him just as tightly, running a hand through his hair as she gently laid her aching face on his shoulder.

Peyton was swinging her legs off the edge of the bed. Sam sighed.

"I don't understand what the deal is."
"Oh, come on, Sam."

He ran his hands through his hair.

"What do you want me to say, Peyton?"

She let out a sigh.

"That angel … He—he said some things."

Sam nodded, setting his hands on his hips. Peyton closed her eyes and went on.

"Are you sleeping with Ruby?"
"What?! Peyton, no."
"Then what did Uriel mean?"

Sam sighed, running his hands through his hair again. He took a seat on the edge of the chair in the room, across from Peyton, who was still on the edge of the bed, swinging her legs.

"It's kind of a long story."

Peyton looked up at him, pushed a curl out of her face. She smiled.

"We got time, Sam."

Sam nodded, smiling, and rubbed his hands together. He took a breath.

"After Dean died, Bobby and I buried him. Usually with a hunter, you burn the bones. Kind of insurance, I guess."

Sam shrugged his shoulders, and looked down at his hands. Peyton didn't speak, she just let him go on.

"You know that, because after we buried him, you and Mel came. And after you guys left, I left. Took off, didn't speak to Bobby for a long time. Didn't speak to anyone, really. To tell you the truth, the first two months are hazy, because I spent them drunk off my ass."

He kind of laughed, and Peyton nodded.

"I don't blame you. I probably would have done the same thing."

Sam nodded.

"I promised Dean I wouldn't try to bring him back, but I couldn't keep that promise. How was I supposed to just leave him in hell?"

Sam shook his head.

"I went to about 14 different crossroads. None of the damn demons would make a deal. Most of the time, they wouldn't even show. I met with one, offered to take Dean's place. But he told me that the demons had everything right where they wanted it. Dean was in hell, and I was left up here. And I wasn't as strong as he was."
"Sam—"
"No, it's true. Dean has always been stronger than me. When we were growing up, Dad taught him everything, and little Sammy was left in the back. Dean took it as he was protecting me by storming the front lines, but… I guess I resented it?"

Sam shrugged his shoulders, and Peyton slowly nodded. Sam went on.

"Anyway, after I talked with the one demon, I went back to my hotel, where I was ambushed by a couple of demons. I didn't even notice that the girl had Ruby's knife. She talked a big talk, then stabbed the demon behind me and made me leave with her. I realized it was Ruby, but because she had a new face…"

Peyton nodded.

"I told her I wouldn't have anything to do with her while she was possessing some innocent person. So she goes and finds a coma patient."

Sam laughed as he looked back down to his hands.

"She offered to help me get Lilith, by using my psychic … whatever. And I agreed."

Peyton's mouth hung open. Sam had told her a little bit of what he was able to do, due to his demon blood. She shook her head.

"Sam, that's … That's dangerous."
"I know. But I was a crappy student. I couldn't get it right, even with Ruby's help, and… Well, after a particularly grueling session, I was drunk. Ruby was there. One thing led to another, and…"

Peyton shook her head, holding up her hands.

"I got it, thanks."

Sam sighed.

"We heard that Lilith was nearby, and I insisted on going to kill her. Ruby didn't want to, but I went anyway. And Ruby ended up saving my life. I saved hers too, because for the first time ever, I was able to use my power to exorcise a demon."
"With your mind."

Sam nodded.

"And then, I was able to play around with it a little bit. Manipulate it the way I wanted."

Peyton shook her head.

"Sam, that's dangerous. Don't you understand?"

He sighed.

"I know. Dean caught me once and ripped my ass a new one. So, I stopped."

Sam looked up, meeting Peyton's eyes.

"I'm not doing it anymore, Peyton. And Ruby … She's just a friend. She means nothing to me. I love you."

Peyton smiled, and stood up, walking over to him. She kissed him, and he held her face in his hands.

"I love you, too."

Peyton kissed his chin, then started for the bathroom.

"I think I need a bath. Want to join me?"

Sam smiled and nodded, and Peyton walked away. He let out a breath. He hated lying to her, but what else could he do? Well, it wasn't really a lie. He didn't love Ruby. Well, okay. Not the way that he loved Peyton. Ruby was just … Ruby had been there for him when he thought that he didn't have anyone else. He couldn't very well tell Peyton that Ruby was … He sighed, shaking his head as he pulled his shirt off. To tell the truth, he was actually kind of surprised that he got away with it. Peyton was the most intuitive person that he knew, and for him to be able to hide something, anything, from an empath was a huge deal. Maybe he should stop. No. Sam straightened his shoulders. This was about revenge. Lilith had to die, and there was only one way to make that happen.

"Sammy? You coming?"

He looked to the bathroom. There was no way he could just stop now. Hell, he'd hidden it from Dean for nearly two damn years. He'd hidden it from all of them through the past year. He'd just have to be more careful, since Peyton would no doubt be on the lookout now. He'd just make sure that no one ever noticed anything was different about Sam Winchester.