I spent my weekend with Olette, Hayner, Pence, and Namine, who seemed much better after our little conversation. We went shopping for dresses and tuxes, like they had before I came along. Like they had before Roxas . . . well, no one really talked about that. We all had a pretty good time, too.

My mom was excited for me to hang out with them. I think she was just happy that I wasn't hanging out with Riku or Sora.

I didn't hear from either one of them all weekend, which made me worry. Had I done something wrong? Did they not like me anymore? Had something bad happened to them? Or was I being paranoid, and nothing was wrong at all? I sent them a few messages, but heard nothing back.

When my friends and I were at the mall, I made a point of walking past their skate shop. When I peered inside, only a guy with a neon green mohawk was working the counter. Olette noticed that I was disappointed, so she took me aside to get some ice cream, which made me feel better.

Sunday night was torture. I had to study for five huge tests in the next two days, and I had to complete a project on top of it. Ugh. Even thinking about all that work makes me want to puke. I don't know if you can tell or not, but homework is one of my least favorite things in the entire world.

After I finished studying, I decided to send a text to Riku, just to say hi. I would say hi to Sora, but I was a bit too in love with him to say anything coherent.

I spent about ten minutes staring at my phone, willing it to ring, before I finally gave up and decided to go to sleep. I would have to try again tomorrow.

On Monday, school went by fast. I didn't see Riku or Sora once.

I decided not to go home right away. It was nice out, and I had had the brilliant idea of riding my bike to school. And my mom wouldn't be home for a few more hours anyway. I rode across town, avoiding the parts that I had come to know all too well as Organization territory. I went past the bakery, the post office, and past the neighborhoods that Olette and Pence lived in.

I ended up somewhere in the east part of town, right next to the hospital. Seeing the building made me sad, because I know that was where one of my friends had died. But it also made me think of someone else, someone who I hadn't even thought about once in the past few weeks. And that made me feel horribly guilty.

I had no other plans, and all my homework was done, so I locked my bike to one of the stone benches by the entrance and headed inside. The atmosphere was much more cheerful than I remembered; the colors were slightly brighter. I recognized a few of the nurses as I made my way to the front desk, but if any of them recognized me, they didn't show it.

The nurse sitting at the information desk was middle aged and kind looking. She smiled at me over the top of the desk. "What can I do for you, honey?" she asked.

I smiled back. "Well, I was wondering if you had a patient here named . . . uh, well I don't exactly know her last name, but her first name is Fuu."

The woman smiled and entered the name into the computer in front of her. After a moment the results popped up on screen. She looked up at me and said "Do you know what she's in for? That might help narrow the list down a bit."

I had to bite my tongue to keep from blurting How many girls on earth could possibly have the name Fuu? Let alone in this one hospital! "Um, she was beat up really bad. Couple of deep cuts and a broken foot." The nice lady entered the new data and waited patiently for it to boot up.

When the new results came up, a little worry line appeared between her eyebrows. She glanced up at me. "Yes, we have someone by the name of Fuu Tomkins. Well, she was removed from intensive care just a few days ago. They're still keeping a close watch on her. Are you a close friend or family?"

I thought fast. I was obviously not related to her, so I decided to go with close friend. Which was a bold-faced lie, considering I didn't know if she would even want to see me or not. The nurse made me fill out a visitor's form and told me to follow a different nurse to Fuu's room, which was thankfully in a part of the hospital that I'd never visited before.

The young nurse who was leading me around stopped in front of one of the doors. I waited outside while she made sure Fuu was doing all right and was well enough to see anybody. She came back outside and told me I could go in, but I wasn't to wake her up from her nap.

I thanked her and went inside the little room. I closed the door silently behind me and looked at Fuu. She wasn't as bad as I remembered, but she certainly wasn't doing well. Her foot was still in a large white cast and she was covered in bandages and scrapes. She still had some of the nastier bruises on her face as well. She looked so small and delicate lying there in that hospital bed. If I hadn't known better, I wouldn't have believed it if someone told me she could kill almost effortlessly.

That thought didn't scare me, oddly enough. It just made me sad. Why should she have to know how to slice and dice people like sushi? It wasn't fair, it wasn't right.

I sighed and dropped into a chair by the wall. I considered the small girl a few feet away and couldn't help comparing her to Roxas. They were both brought to this hospital in critical condition, worked on by the same doctors. But she had made it out of her near death experience, and he had not. I didn't resent her for it. I stared at the floor for a long time, telling myself that over and over. I had to be fair. There was no reason for me to dislike her; yet there was something in me that kept saying that Roxas should have made it, and that it wasn't fair that she got to live and he didn't.

I eventually convinced myself that it was normal to feel what I was feeling. All that meant was that I had to be nice to her in spite of my bitter thoughts. If she got a second chance, I should be glad for her. I would want Seifer and Rai to be happy if it had been Roxas who had lived instead.

I let out a breath and looked up from the floor to find a pair of intense amber-colored eyes locked on my face. I froze, slightly embarrassed and surprised. Fuu studied me in silence, her gaze wary and tired at the same time.

I swallowed. "Hey, Fuu. I'm sorry to just show up like this, but I wanted to see if you were doing all right. So, yeah."

She didn't say anything. She just kept staring. I shifted in my seat, uncomfortable. Should I leave? Should I say something else? I decided to say more. "I don't know if anybody's been keeping you updated on stuff, but there's some things going on around town these days. There's a dance on Friday this week at the high school, and there's a huge outdoor market coming to town tomorrow. . ."

And for a while, she just let me talk. The wary expression left her eyes, and she seemed to relax a bit. I told her about the comings and goings of the townsfolk, about how one of the girls at school had given birth to triplets, even about how my friends and I were doing. And I knew that she listened to every word I said, which made it even easier to talk to her. But when I mentioned what each of my friends was wearing to the dance, she held up a bandaged hand.

"Forgot Roxas." She pointed out simply.

Again I felt the icy cold fingers of grief circling my heart, making it hard to breathe. So I guess no one really had been keeping her updated on things after all.

I looked at the little bottles of medicine that were lined up by the cabinets like they were the most interesting things in the world. "No, that's not it. I don't think you heard, but Roxas is dead. His funeral was about a week and a half ago."

She was suddenly wide awake. "How?" she asked sharply.

Those medicine bottles had some really interesting colors on their labels. "He was killed, actually. In a drive-by shooting, in front of the Organization hangout."

For some reason the color rapidly drained from her face. "When exactly?" she whispered.

I thought for a moment, trying to leave out the messy emotions that went with the memories. "Um, it was on a Sunday night a couple weeks ago. They brought him to this hospital, but he died really late that night. Or maybe it was really early Monday morning." I shrugged. What did it matter when exactly it was? He was gone. That's all that mattered.

But it really seemed important to Fuu. "Suspects?" She asked me almost inaudibly, like she was afraid to hear the answer.

I shook my head. "No. Sora was the only one who was there when it happened, and it was too dark to see the car. The police are still looking, though."

She looked oddly relieved, but at the same time it looked like she was going to be violently ill. I rose out of my chair. "Fuu, are you all right? Do you need me to get you a nurse?" I asked. She shook her head, but I stayed near the door in case she changed her mind. She covered her eyes with her good hand and stayed like that for a while. I stood there wondering what was making her act like this. When she had seen Roxas in the past, it was very clear that she and the TTDC wanted nothing to do with him. So why would she be so upset at his passing?

Eventually she brought her hand away from her eyes and looked at me. Her amber eyes were filled with something that I would never have pictured: a mix of pity and sorrow. I'd only seen her in a battle rage and in her usual blank-faced state before – this was something completely new and different.

"I'm sorry."

She said it so softly I almost didn't hear her. When I realized what she had said, I blinked and said "Oh, thank you."

She looked exhausted. I figured I'd better leave and let her get more rest. I said goodbye to her and said I might come back later. She didn't respond, she just closed her eyes and lay very still on the bed.

I went back to the front desk and signed out of the visitor's list. I thanked the kind woman working the front desk and went outside to get my bike where I had left it an hour and a half earlier. As I rode out of the parking lot, I wondered why Rai or Seifer hadn't said anything about the current events to her. I mean, they were teammates, right? And teammates look out for each other, no matter what. That meant keeping her in the loop about social things, keeping her from getting bored, coming to visit her in the hospital . . .

And protect her. They were supposed to protect her.

Something nagged at the back of my mind, but I couldn't place it. Shrugging, I hopped onto my bike and headed for home. It was getting to be late, hopefully not too late to help my mom cook dinner. We would be having my favorite: orange chicken with white rice. Yum.

I took less time than I had originally thought to get home. My mom should have been home for a while now; I was expecting to see her beat up minivan in the driveway. But when I rounded the corner, I saw a silvery blue Aston Martin in its place, and a Lamborghini was parked in the street. I frowned. We didn't know anybody with that kind of money. What was going on?

I put my bike in the garage and headed into the house through the front door. I heard my mom's voice in the kitchen; she was laughing about something. The other, deeper voice belonged to a man. It sounded familiar, like something from a bad dream.

With some trepidation I walked into the kitchen. My mom looked up and smiled at me. "Kairi, I'm so glad you're home. There's someone here to see us."

I looked past her at the man sitting at the table. Medium height, rumpled brown hair, bright blue eyes, beard stubble. He had dimples that accentuated his boyish good looks when he smiled at me. He would appear charming and kind to anyone who was just looking at him for the first time. But when I looked at him, all I saw was fear. Fear and blind, pure hatred.

My father stood up and spread his arms wide. "Surprise, sweetie. Daddy's home now."

My mind reeled like I'd just been punched in the face. What did he say? I looked at my mother. She was grinning foolishly, like a schoolgirl who had just been asked out by her crush. Did she realize who this man was? Had she forgotten all the nights of screaming and crying? What about all the bruises on her body and her heart?

I stared at my father in astonishment. "What are you doing here?"

His charming grin didn't falter. "I'm here to be with my two favorite women in the world, of course." He crossed the room and put his arms around my mother, who blushed and smiled. He laughed and kissed her cheek. I fought the urge to vomit. Instead I planted my feet apart and crossed my arms.

"Okay, so when you're done playing house, where does that leave us, huh? Are we just going to pretend that you're not abusive and awful?"

"KAIRI!" my mother's infuriated voice cut through me like a knife. She pulled away from the scumbag and walked toward me. "How dare you speak to your father that way? He came all this way to apologize, and this is how you treat him?"

"Oh, so that's what the new car is for!" I spat. "How much did the 'apology' cost you this time? How long till you have to buy her another one, huh?" By the time I was done, I was screaming at him. He didn't even flinch; he just looked sad. He was trying to make me feel bad for him.

And I hated him for it.

My mom grabbed me by the arm and led me upstairs. I tried to convince her the entire time that he was no good, and I yelled at her for even letting him near the house. After I tried reminding her that she had left him, I was locked into my room. I heard her retreat down the steps and back into the kitchen. She started apologizing. I couldn't believe that she was sorry that I was telling the truth. And to make things worse, he said "Oh, don't worry, she'll come around. She knows her daddy loves her."

And that was when I collapsed into tears on my bed.

I cried for a long time. I thought of all the things he had done to us as a family, and it made me sick. He'd been so horrible. All those times he had beaten my mom . . . then there were the more recent memories of him, from when I was nine. He'd put Mom in the hospital with a broken arm, and I was the only one around when he was drunk that night. When she got back a few days later, she found me covered in green and purple bruises.

Oh, he'd said sorry. In fact, he'd said sorry exactly thirty seven times. I'd counted how many times he'd said it as my mom and I drove away from him, away from that life. He'd fallen to his knees in the middle of the street, and he cried as we drove away.

It was good to see him be the one in pain, for once.

Why was he here now? Sure, we weren't rich like we'd been when we were living with him, but we were doing fine. How had he found us? This was the third town we'd moved to since we'd left him. It was unfair. Things weren't exactly perfect – not by a long shot – but I was reasonably happy. Is it that I can't be happy for too long a period of time before the universe gets bored and decides to screw me over? That must be it.

I was completely out of it for the next few days. It was so surreal; I went to school, talked with friends, and plastered a fake smile on my face, never letting anyone know that something was wrong. Then when I got home every day, it was like a recurring nightmare; you know, that one horrifying dream where you know what is going to happen but you can't stop it.

And he was there, every day. He was sharing my mother's room with her, and she was in heaven. I don't remember seeing her so happy. And it was killing me inside.

Thursday came around. Everyone was all excited about the dance tomorrow, but not me. I'd lost the ability to be normal. Namine was the one to finally notice that something was wrong with me. She came up to me after school at my locker.

"Hey." She said. I glanced up and put the mask of cheerfulness back on. "Hey Namine. What's up?"

"Not much." She looked at me, her face full of concern. "Um, you've been off this week. Is everything all right?"

I faked a laugh. "Of course, everything's fine. I've just been tired, that's all." I kept smiling as I put my homework into my bag and closed my locker. When I looked at her again, she looked sad. No, not sad, really. It looked like . . . pity.

She stood up straight and shook her bangs out of her eyes. "Okay. Well, if you want to talk about it, whatever it is, I'll be here, okay? Just let me know." I nodded, still grinning. My face was starting to hurt. She walked away, and I seriously considered breaking down and telling her everything.

But that would be unfair to her. She had enough to deal with; she had real problems. This was nothing.

I would get over it.

A/N:

I AM SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG. DX

I had writers block like you would not believe.

But thanks to a suggestion from one of the readers, I am back, baby!

Review, please.