CHAPTER 25

It was nearing 11 by the time Carlton could finally leave the station and Beth had fallen asleep at Henry's desk a couple hours ago. Since there was quite a bit of blood on her blouse, she borrowed one of Carlton's shirts which was really big on her.

Making sure that he had everything packed, Carlton knelt in front of Beth and rubbed her knee. "Hey Sleeping Beauty, time to wake up." She just moaned and shifted away. "Come on, it's time to go so you can sleep in a real bed."

"What if I want to sleep in your bed?" Beth asked sleepily as she opened her eyes.

Carlton glanced around the deserted bullpen before whispering, "Why do you keep trying to embarrass me?"

"Because it's fun!" She smirked

"Besides, I thought you were one of those people who um, wait until marriage."

"There's nothing wrong with going to second base. Possibly even third, but I've never tried it." He choked as Beth grinned. "I knew this conversation would make you uncomfortable."

"But not you?" He stood up and went to grab his briefcase.

"Nope, not since sex camp at church when I was in 12th grade." Beth yawned.

Carlton almost tripped over his chair. "What? You had a sex camp at church?"

"Well, technically it was a relationship retreat, respecting ourselves, respecting others. But most of us called it sex camp."

Carlton shook his head as he headed to the door. "You're impossible."

"Thank you!" Beth laughed as she walked next to him and put her arm around his. "Are you sure we can't cuddle?"

Carlton shook his head as he opened the door. "No, I just want to go home and sleep."

"Can we stop for something to eat first? I never ate dinner. The last thing I ate was a churro over 6 hours ago."

"Yeah, we can get some food." Carlton shook his head. "I just don't get you. One minute you're almost depressed and then the next you're cracking jokes, making me uncomfortable."

"I've found that when things go wrong, you can either laugh or cry. There are too many tears shed already, so when I can, I choose to laugh."

"Is this another one of your philosophies?" he asked as he unlocked his car.

"Yep. One of my favorites."

Carlton smiled as she kissed him on the cheek before getting in the car.

Carlton frowned as he looked at the clock, noting that it was 4 am and he had only been sleeping for a little over 3 hours. He laid still, trying to figure out what had woken him. He was just about to fall back asleep when he heard whimpering.

Getting up in a flash, he threw a shirt over his sweatpants as he grabbed his pistol and made his way to Beth's room. Opening the door slowly, he quickly surveyed the room. At first glance, he didn't see Beth anywhere until he heard sobbing from behind him. Turning quickly, he found her with her arms over her head, sitting between the dresser and the wall.

Placing his pistol on the side table, he cautiously knelt in front of her. "Beth?"

"No! Leave me alone!" Beth pleaded through her tears.

"Beth, I'm not going to hurt you." He gently touched her knee, which turned out to be the wrong thing since she lashed out and started beating his chest.

"GET THE HELL AWAY FROM FRED! YOU DON'T OWN ME!"

Carlton quickly pulled her into a tight hug despite her struggles and started talking calmly in her ear. "Beth, it's Carlton and I'm not going to hurt you. I'll never hurt. Please, calm down."

Beth finally relaxed against him and started sobbing harder. Carlton just held her tighter as she let it out.

"It's not fair, I didn't do anything wrong! All I did was love him. Why did he hurt me? Why, why didn't I see it sooner? He just used me and I knew he was up to no good. I'm just so stupid."

"Hey, you're not stupid." Carlton said as he rubbed her back. "You're one of the smartest, funniest, prettiest people that I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. You took a chance and it didn't work out, but that doesn't make you stupid. You trusted him and he broke that trust. It's not your fault."

Beth nodded as she clung to him tighter. They sat like that for almost 10 minutes before Beth's breathing evened out and she started feeling heavier. Readjusting his hold, Carlton carefully lifted her up and laid her on the bed. Before he could pull the covers up, she grabbed his hand.

"Can you stay, please?" Beth whispered.

Carlton shook his head. "I really shouldn't."

"Please, I don't want to be alone right now. Can you just stay until I fall asleep?"

She looked so scared and vulnerable as she tried to keep the tears at bay. Sighing, Carlton nodded before going to the other side of the bed. He laid on his back as Beth put her head over his heart and both arms clutched his shirt. Feeling her tremble, he wrapped an arm around her back before pulling the blanket to his waist.

"Thanks Carlton." Beth whispered as she closed her eyes.

He smiled as he took her hand and gave it a squeezed. Within minutes, she was fast asleep with Carlton just watching. Eventually the quiet got to him, and he soon followed her into dreamland.

Hearing his alarm beeping, Carlton reached a hand over to slap it, only to find his gun. Slightly confused, he opened his eyes to realize that he was alone in the guest bedroom. Groaning, he rolled out of bed and went to turn his alarm off. While he was in his bedroom, he also grabbed his robe and slippers before heading to the kitchen.

The house was eerily quiet and it disturbed him for some reason. Licking his lips, Carlton called out, "Beth?" Finding the kitchen empty, he was about to check the bathroom when he noticed that that the drapes on the sliding door were opened. Looking out, he saw Beth facing the sunrise.

He was just turning around to go start his coffee when he saw a glint of light. Acting on instinct, Carlton quickly opened the door and hurried to Beth's side. Seeing the knife slowly drawing blood, he cautiously placed a hand over Beth's, stilling her movements. When he looked at her face, she had her eyes closed with tears silently falling. It also looked like that she had chopped off half of her hair.

"Beth. Can I have the knife?"

He waited patiently but the only response he got was Beth loosening her grip. Taking that as a good sign, he quickly tossed the knife out of reach before taking off both his shirt and robe. Tearing the shirt, he tightly wrapped her wrist before draping the robe over her shoulders.

Kneeling in front of her, Carlton brushed his fingers through her uneven hair. "Beth? Can you talk to me?"

Without opening her eyes, she fingered the shirt around her wrist. "I just wanted to feel something physical."

"So it wasn't," Carlton took a deep breath. "It wasn't suicide?"

"No. When I'm feeling really overwhelmed, I cut my hair. But it wasn't enough this time, so I grabbed the knife." A few more tears slipped from her still closed eyes.

"Why didn't you come to me?" He moved his hand to her cheek and she turned into it.

"I wasn't really thinking. I'm use to suffering in silence, hiding behind this weird façade where it seems like I'm okay."

"Please come to me next time. I don't care what time of day or what I'm doing, I'll always be available."

A choked sob escaped as she nodded and finally opened her eyes. "Okay."

"I'm serious. I'll walk out of a meeting with the mayor or leave a crime scene to come to you, okay?"

Laughing shakily, she whispered, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

"Hey," he pulled her into a hug. "I'm head detective, I don't scare easily."

Beth laughed again as she clung to him. "I'll keep that in mind."

When they finally pulled back, Carlton ran his fingers through her hair again. "I think we need to fix this, it looks horrible."

Beth nodded as she wiped her face. "Yeah, well I find if I try too hard to make it even, that it just looks worse."

"Do you always cut your own hair?"

"Yeah. Unless I'm not satisfied then I'll go to a salon." She pulled at some of the strands. "I might need help this time, I don't know."

"Okay." Shivering slightly, Carlton stood up. "Do you think we can go inside now? I'm cold."

Beth smiled as she stood up as well. Before Carlton could start for the door, she placed a hand on his chest, causing him to shiver even more. She started trailing her hand up and down. When she got close to his pants, he stopped her.

"We, um, we need to go inside. Probably eat some breakfast."

She nodded before dropping her hand and heading for the door, Carlton following her. Making her sit, he went about making her a bowl of cereal and a cup of juice. While she started eating, he turned on the coffeemaker and got out the first aid kit to work on her arm.

"I don't want to leave you alone today."

Beth sighed and put her spoon down. "But I told you that it wasn't a suicide attempt. I was just stressed and I guess it was a way to let go of some of it."

Taping the gauze down, he squeezed her hand. "Please. It'll make me feel better."

"Okay." She whispered.

"Thank you." He brushed her hair again. "Now, what are we doing about your hair?"

Sighing, Beth stood up. "I'll fix it. It shouldn't take me too long."

"Okay." Carlton watched her walked down the hall before he grabbed a cup of coffee, deciding that he needed to take a quick shower.