Disclaimer: I don't own Tin Man, nor do you own Tin Man, I think we should join up and have a revolt over this matter. It could be fun.
Author's Note: Well most people chose to disagree with me and like the last chapter anyhow, worse still I raised expectations for this one. Whatever shall I do?
PS Spent a lot of time thinking of Cain today as I hauled trees off the fence line – anyone who's read 'Thumbelina' should understand why. He would have come in so handy...Also, currently trying not to bleed on the furniture as an idiot cow seemed to think it funny to necessitate my trying to go through barbed wire at speed. That's something that never turns out well for clothing or skin.
...
Azkadellia had a cold. Yes, a cold, a common, garden variety, completely-incurable-suffer-in-silence-even-in-the-O.Z. cold, that was her story and she was sticking to it. She was most certainly not suffering the ill effects of smoke inhalation due to an unfortunate, completely-not-her-fault-she-was-just-trying-to-boil-water oven explosion the day before. The eldest princess had nothing to do with that, ask any of the witnesses, they'd all say the same (or else). The plus side to having a cold was that Az had been excused from the day's round of diplomatic meetings and social activities; the downside was the attendant guilt resulting from the concerned care of those that worried about the eldest princess' health. It was a short list but all the most important people were on it.
"You are so lucky!" DG exclaimed, bursting into Azkadellia's room in her habitually energetic manner while the Tin Man followed inevitably at a more sedate pace.
This was a most peculiar comment. As odd as the Othersiders seemed to be in their beliefs sometimes, Az was pretty sure that no one could find anything lucky about catching a cold. Which is what she'd done. "I beg your pardon?" she inquired, her voice rasping slightly.
"You are so lucky!" Deeg repeated with a grin, "I just saw Officer Gulch heading for the kitchen, do you know what that means?"
Her cover was blown? One of the guards had snitched? The eldest princess was about to fire her entire protection detail (perhaps literally)? "He's hungry?"Azkadellia asked tentatively, testing the waters.
"No," the youngest princess huffed in exasperation, "that means you are about to receive Mama Gulch's ultra secret, super effective cure for everything: the chicken noodle soup that surpasses all chicken soups you have ever had on this or the Otherside."
Az blinked at her sister.
"What?" Deeg continued, "Didn't you know Gulch could cook? Well I suppose you wouldn't, it's like pulling teeth to get him to do it and he hasn't had to here, but, really, how do you think he survived all these years? A single man living alone needs to learn to cook or starve, though in Gulch's case, with a mother like his, that wasn't a problem. She probably started training him good and young. I just know she passed that recipe on to him, just wait until you taste it, that soup is to die for."
Somewhat lost in this deluge of new information, the eldest princess grasped at what she considered to be a salient point, "Was his mother a better cook than Farmer Spencer's wife?"
DG snorted, "Never ask that question in Kansas unless you want to start a full-fledged battle. Big rivals those two, split all the cooking and baking contests right down the middle. Add a few beers and my hometown will practically have a civil war over the matter. Which is probably why Gulch is so unwilling to share his cooking, doesn't want to get dragged in, but he's making you some soup right now, I guarantee it," Deeg finished, beaming at Az.
Um, feeling terribly guilty, dungeon for one, Azkadellia thought uneasily. Before she could think further into the subject of her Othersider cooking her soup for the cold she didn't have, DG started speaking again.
"Az," DG said, truly looking at her sister as she sat curled up in the window seat for the first time since entering the room, "what are you wearing?"
"What?" Az replied defensively, "I was cold."
The youngest princess smirked suddenly. "Does Officer Gulch know that you have his jacket?" she asked coyly.
"He never asked for it back," Azkadellia countered.
Across the room, the Tin Man snorted. "Most people," Cain pointed out, whilst speaking to the ceiling, "would have returned it of their own accord."
"Her mother is the queen and her father is a Nebraskan carnie," a new voice interjected, "who are we to expect her to have the slightest notion of personal property? I haven't needed it lately," Officer Gulch continued, entering the room carrying an interestingly laden tray, "besides it doesn't match my official uniform."
DG raised an eyebrow. "I have yet to see you wear the official guard uniform," she stated drily.
"I am currently protesting its existence," Gulch replied as he set the tray on a nearby side table and hauled it within reach of the eldest princess, "my police uniform is practical, the glorified throw rug masquerading as an outfit is not."
"I don't suppose you made enough for me?" DG asked hopefully as the policeman lifted the cover, unleashing a smell so mouth-watering that all thoughts of confessing her sins fled Azkadellia's mind.
"Do you have a cold?" the cop inquired, causing the faintest return of easily overcome guilt, "Perhaps when you catch a cold the Tin Man hasn't managed to shoot first, then I'll make you some soup." Rolling his eyes as the youngest princess gazed at him plaintively, he huffed, "I left Dawkins guarding the rest of the pot. That head chef is the most excitable fellow. I thought he was going to burst into tears when I asked for use of the kitchen, that or have a stroke. Apparently something happened to his precious oven. I don't know why he liked that monstrosity so much, who needs the espresso machine of ovens? Give me your basic stove and regular oven any day."
"What happened to the oven?" DG asked interestedly as Azkadellia decided to explore the soup in depth.
"Don't know, looked like it been on the receiving end of a bombing, though," the unconcerned Gulch responded.
Deeg's eyes widened suddenly and she looked sharply at her sister. The Tin Man's eyes narrowed in quick suspicion as he watched the eldest princess oh so innocently take a spoonful of broth. They were completely forgotten, however, as the soup said hello to Azkadellia's taste buds and promptly decided to throw a party.
"This...this is divine," the eldest princess said in wonder.
"Told ya," DG crowed while the cop blushed and muttered, "My mom's recipe."
"Could your father cook like this?" Az queried in continued awe of the sweet nectar with which she had been gifted.
Officer Gulch burst out laughing. "My dad... my dad," he hooted, "that man could burn water."
"Oh," she murmured glancing down at the soup she was restraining herself from inhaling lest she burn her tongue, then a thought occurred to her. "Oh," she repeated brightly, "So can I."
DG and Cain had simultaneous coughing fits. Gulch looked momentarily puzzled by the princess' comment but was distracted by a shrill beeping from his Otherside wristwatch. "Oh bl..ooming bumblebees," he muttered, "I have to go feed Kansas. If you need more soup send DG for it, I'm sure she'll be able to find it," he instructed wryly as he hastened out of the room.
"So," chirped DG the second the door closed on the cop, "what did you try to cook?"
"Not sure," Az replied morosely, staring into her soup, "I never really got that far."
The Tin Man snorted in amusement as his princess giggled at her sister. "Don't worry Az," Deeg said with understanding sympathy as she patted the dejected princess on the shoulder, "there was no point competing in that arena anyhow. Besides you've got his jacket, there's significance to wearing a guy's clothes on the Otherside."
As Azkadellia brightened perceptively and returned to her soup, Cain rolled his eyes and muttered to DG, "Great, now you know she's never going take it off."
The youngest princess merely grinned.