Chapter Twenty Five
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Okay I think this chapter is a little bit different from what you might be expecting, but I hope it works!
Chapter Twenty-Five
Scott rubbed his eyes- emotionally spent; he had told Virgil everything, now his younger brother had left him alone to sleep, but Scott couldn't sleep. The whole memory kept flying through his mind. His guilt at not being able to save her. His pain at her death. His frustration at not being able to do anything about the situation. Most powerful of all his anger at her father. His shock at how someone could be so cold hearted towards their own flesh and blood. He clenched his fist tightly and punched his bed, unable to vent his anger in the ways that he wanted to, restricted by his current condition. He closed his eyes willing for sleep to take him, but his own words to his brother reverberated around in his skull.
Virgil Tracy laid in bed, he couldn't sleep, he wasn't sure if he ever would again after hearing his brother's story he himself felt traumatised so god alone knew how Scott was feeling. He pounded his fist into his bed, angry and frustrated all at once. His mind wouldn't shut down enough to allow slumber to take him over. His brother's words kept milling around in his head, and he feared they would for ever more. He sighed again, he needed to talk to someone about this is he ever wanted to get it out of his mind. He got out of bed slowly and pulled on his robe, he quietly opened his door and headed down the corridor. He knocked once on this destination's door. A sleepy john answered.
"God do you know what time it is?" he asked irritably, and then seemed to recall the day's events "Is everything okay?"
"Can I talk to you?" Virgil asked, and almost felt daft at the pleading tone obvious in his voice.
"Of course, come in" John replied without hesitation, pulling the door open to allow his brother to enter. Virgil walked through, and sat down on his brother's bed, he tiredly rubbed his hands over his face.
"What's happened?" John asked, concerned with his brother's unexplained appearance at such a late hour. "Is this something to do with Scott?" he asked. Virgil's expression gave him his answer. "Go on then tell me what's happened" he prompted, now fully awake.
"He has told me about what happened in the mine, it's is horrifying to think of him going through it all alone" Virgil told his younger brother. "I'll tell you exactly what happened; otherwise it is going to continually go through my mind"
"Yeah go for it, I want an exact play by play of the conversation" John told his brother, eager to lay the mystery to rest. Virgil took a deep breath, and then told his tale.
Flashback
"Go ahead Scott the sooner you tell me, the sooner you will feel better" Virgil prompted his struggling brother, Scott took a final deep breath then began his story.
"I found the girl, she was sort of half buried, I went straight over to her and knelt besides her, I couldn't really see very much, because it was so very dark. I mean I could barely see my hand in front of my face, let alone see her injuries. Se was unconscious and I could hear a hitch to her breathing. I tried to assess any injuries by gently feeling, but there was so much dust and debris everything. I just sort of put her head in my lap so that I would be able to tell if she stopped breathing" Scott told his brother, trying to sound almost dispassionate and very factual in his telling, so that the pain filled emotions wouldn't show through.
"It's okay Scott; take a deep breath and the keep going" Virgil assured his brother, not wanting him to stop now that he had started. Scott visibly took a deep shaking breath before going back to his story.
"Anyway we sat there for what felt lie forever, but obviously can't have been for very long. It was sometime around this point that you contacted me and said that you were nearly here. I left the little girl alone for a second and crawled back to where I had come from to see if there was any chance of being able to dig my own way out, but it would have been impossible. The whole roof had caved in, leaving no passage that I could fit through carrying her. I went straight back to her, and held her close, and that's when she woke up. Her eyes were so full of pain, a pain that no six year old should feel at any time, she should have been playing with her Barbie dolls, not stuck down in some dirty mine fighting for her life" Scott seethed, his angry showing through. He gulped down hard before continuing. "She told me her name and how old she was, and I told her not to worry that we would get her out and everything would be fine." Scott stopped at that point as sobs came, he had broken his promise and it had cost her her life. Virgil held him tight and he cried, reliving the last moments of that little girl's life with only him as witness. Scott lost in his own memories, he couldn't even acknowledge his brother's presence as he cried for a little girl whose life had ended far too early to be fair.
"Scott you don't have to go on if you don't want to" Virgil told his brother, not wanting to push him to far in one night.
"No, I have to do this now" Scott replied newly determined to share his story. "We spoke for a little while, then she drifted off again, she never woke up" he concluded. This time he didn't cry. "Do you know what the worse thing is?" he asked his brother, but continued without waiting for an answer. "She was telling me about how she wasn't scared because she knew that I would help her, and I wouldn't let her die. I let her down so badly, I let everybody down. She died in my arms, and I did absolutely nothing to help her. She told me that her father didn't really care for her that he had shouted at her for playing ball near the mine but he had told her that he didn't give a damn if she got hurt. The only reason that he was trying to get her to come away form the place was because her Mummy would tell him off if anything happened to her. I mean this poor girl alone and obviously terrified, the last thing she heard from her father's mouth were cold uncaring words, and all she had to help her was me. I was bleeding all over her because I couldn't even get in the mine without getting myself hurt in the process."
"Scott don't think like that, you got so hurt because you were trying to save her. You can't be held accountable for the actions of her uncaring oath of a father. Surely you being there comforted her, made her feel secure in her last moments. You can't blame yourself for that" Virgil comforted his obviously distraught brother. Scott shook his head.
"You don't understand. Just before the end she told me that she wasn't scared. She said she had no reason to be frightened because she had me there and she had faith that I wouldn't let anything happen to her. I asked her how she could be so sure, and do you know what she said? She said that she was so sure because I was the opposite of her father, and she knew that I wouldn't let her down. But I did, I let her down in the worst possible way" Scott told his brother, and Virgil suddenly understood why his brother was so distraught, he felt that he had broken the faith of the
child, and to Scott that would be worse than anything.
End of Flashback
"Man that's worse than we thought" John commented when Virgil had completed his story.
"I know, you didn't see him John. He was as white as sheet just talking about it. He still didn't say her name once" Virgil told his brother.
"Did he seem to feel any better when he had told you?" John asked, hoping that something good would have come out of Scott reliving his trauma.
"Well that's the strangest thing, after he had told me all of the details about being trapped, he kept talking. This obviously took me by surprise since getting any information out of him so far has been like blood from a stone. It seemed like there was something he wanted to tell me, but couldn't find the words" Virgil told him.
"Well go on what did he say" John prompted when no further information was forthcoming. Virgil rolled his eyes then once again told John his recollection of his conversation with their older brother.
Flashback
"Scott you did brilliantly to keep her feeling as safe as she did all that time. When dad set up IR it was explained that we couldn't save everybody, but so far we have had very few loses. You have to look at it as if you have saved her, she died and that is tragic being so young and to die in such away. But Scott you saved her from dying alone in a pit of darkness, thinking that no-one in the world cared for her. You didn't let her down, you played your part one hundred and fifty percent, but fate let her down at the last hurdle. You could not have tried any harder to save that little girl's life. If anybody let her down it was her father" Virgil told his brother, reiterating his words from the hospital, he had meant them then and he meant them now. Scott averted his gaze to the floor.
"It just doesn't feel that way" he whispered to his brother.
"I know, but you have to give yourself time, I'm not saying that you will forget about it, because basically Scott, I don't think you ever will, but it ill hurt less with time" Virgil told his brother, praying that Scott would allow himself the time to heal.
"When did you get so smart?" Scott asked his brother with a weak grin. Virgil chuckled in response.
"I have always been this smart just never smarter than you" Virgil replied, and Scott finally looked his brother in the eye.
"Thank you Virgil" he told him meaning it, then went to way something else, but stopped himself before the words were formed.
"So what are your plans now?" Virgil asked his brother.
"I dunno, guess try to get better and back to fitness then um.." Scott started, but again didn't finish his sentence, as if he had almost let too much slip.
"Then what?" Virgil asked, concerned as to what was on his brother's mind.
"Well I don't know really, anyway Virgil I'm really tired, would you mind if I went to sleep now" Scott told his brother looking away.
"No sure I'll leave ya to it" Virgil told his brother, tucking him into bed, and then quietly exiting the room.
End of Flashback
"Well what do you think he is up to?" John asked his older brother confused by his eldest brother's actions. Virgil thought for a moment.
"I just don't know John, I just hope it's nothing to do with Shannon's father" Virgil replied, his confusion and concern evident in his tone.
End Chapter Twenty-Five
That's it the end of another chapter, and yes I am going to beg! Please R+R!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!