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"Hello, Dr. Kavanagh, Colonel Sheppard. Before we begin, you should probably find the most comfortable place in these quarters. A bed or a well-padded corner would be ideal. This is a relatively involved procedure and it is possible that there will be violent reactions should you uncover memories your subconscious is reluctant to relinquish. Having a cushioned environment will minimize the chance of accidental injury."
Kavanagh's brows wrinkled with anxiety. He licked his lips and bit them, darting a quick look at Sheppard.
"Um, I--I don't know if we should--I mean, uh--" He pressed a hand against his mouth for a second.
"How--how violent? Are you sure you know what you're--what's going to happen?"
"Kavanagh--" Sheppard's voice held a note of warning. Kavanagh gave him a fierce look, his lips whitening around the edges where he pressed them together.
"Look, if we don't know what we're messing with, maybe we should just stop. I don't think--"
"He said it was perfectly safe! He can separate us if anything happens. One time shot, Kavanagh, take it or leave it."
For almost a minute they stood there, staring at each other, neither giving an inch. Both of them jumped when Hermiod cleared his throat.
"If you are not sure you want to undergo this, Dr. Kavanagh, perhaps it would be best to stop now. Once we begin there is no going back."
Kavanagh bit his lips again, his eyes fixed on the hologram.
"Are you sure this will work? What--what's the probability of failure?"
The Asgard eyed him. Sheppard wasn't sure but he thought he saw a flicker in the dark eyes.
"Do you remember when I made modifications to the drive of the Daedalus in order to allow us to relay the message about the bomb in time? As I recall, you had misgivings about my modifications. You...doubted my abilities." Hermiod's pause made it clear that there was no greater insult Kavanagh could have offered. Kavanagh lifted his shoulders a little, looking sideways with what might have been a tinge of guilt. Hermiod waited in silence. Kavanagh darted a glance at him and finally nodded.
"How did the drive perform after my modifications?" Hermiod's voice took on a patient tone, as if he were addressing a very small child.
"Did it not perform exactly as predicted? Specifically, did it not perform at a much higher level of power and efficiency than before?"
Kavanagh nodded again, his cheeks reddening. The strangled sound from Sheppard made Hermiod turn, cocking his head in query.
"Something wrong, Colonel Sheppard? No?" He turned back to Kavanagh.
"Well then, I fail to see any grounds for concern. My "track record", as you humans say, is flawless when it comes to repairing both your ships and your bodies. Keep in mind that we retained and passed on all the memories of our experiences at every level of our evolution. I have memories of inhabiting a body much like yours, with a mind just as fragmented and unreliable. That is one of the things that convinced me, against my first inclination, to acquiesce to my leader's request that I give my assistance to the Atlantis expedition. It is one of the factors that persuaded me to grant my assistance in this case as well."
Sheppard clapped his hands together and half-turned.
"Well? Good enough?"
Kavanagh gave Sheppard a tormented look and fixed his eyes on the floor. Sheppard could tell it was taking every ounce of his willpower to keep his voice polite.
"The Daedalus was a ship. A piece of metal. Caldwell was...well, somebody else. This is me, okay? I'm just---" He closed his eyes for a second and opened them again.
"Do you even know how it feels to have your body turn against you? To have it doing things to you you hate and don't want, but can't stop?"
Sheppard made a sound of complete disbelief and grabbed a fistful of Kavanagh's uniform.
"Damn it, Kavanagh, we talked about this! What are you, stupid? Of all the thickheaded--"
"Gentlemen." Hermiod's voice hadn't changed, but Sheppard and Kavanagh fell silent as one person. The Asgard tilted his head to one side for a long second, then turned his back, his expression unreadable even to someone who had learned how to differentiate between their moods.
"I believe I do, Doctor Kavanagh. More correctly, the entity whose memories are linked to my profile does. But I am afraid I cannot offer any more assurance than the evidence of my capabilities I mentioned a moment ago. You will have to accept that there is always some risk involved."
Kavanagh's eyes held sudden, shocked recollection. His lips parted a little.
"Hermiod--is that really--I--I didn't--"
"If we are going to begin, perhaps we should do so without further discussion." Hermiod turned back to face them. There was no trace of emotion at all in the dark eyes. Kavanagh gave Sheppard a quick, nervous look, and stood, heading for the bedroom.
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Sheppard seated himself at the other end of the bed from Kavanagh, wanting to give him some space. The hologram had followed them in without hesitation and stood, watching them.
"I am now altering the atmosphere in the room to allow the passage of electrical impulses from your brain to Colonel Sheppard's. You will still need to be linked together in a way that is comfortable and safe for you both, however. An embrace such as you humans use for expressing feelings of attachment or a desire to mate should do."
Sheppard's lips twitched, but the look in Kavanagh's eyes when he glanced up wiped the smile from his face. He let his hands drop.
"You first."
Kavanagh wavered, his eyes searching Sheppard's for some sign of assurance. Sheppard pressed his lips together and tried to look more sure of himself than he felt. Slowly Kavanagh's hands came up, hesitated, curled into half-fists.
Sheppard waited. The hands relaxed marginally, crept upward and out. He lifted his own hands, his heart suddenly pounding. Kavanagh moved forward stiffly, as if his body were resisting some unseen force. Sheppard let him come the whole way, waiting for him to commit completely. Kavanagh paused, still a few feet away, his breath quickening. His hands clenched once, unclenched. Sheppard kept his eyes trained on Kavanagh's, willing him to keep coming.
Trust me. Just trust me. Come on. He didn't realize was saying it aloud until Kavanagh's quivering voice responded, the fear he made no effort to hide chopping the words into shaking gasps.
"Ok. Ok." He broke off, nodding to himself as if for reassurance, sucked in a short, sharp breath, and lurched forward, his eyes fixed on Sheppard's. Sheppard's hands came quickly up to catch and support him as he gave himself into his arms.
"Don't--don't hurt m--" Kavanagh stopped himself abruptly and looked down, his cheeks flushing, but Sheppard didn't need to hear the rest to understand. He lifted a hand to Kavanagh's face. Kavanagh looked up quickly but he didn't pull away. Sheppard let his hand answer the urgency in Kavanagh's eyes, pressing palm to cheek, his fingers digging in just slightly. Kavanagh closed his eyes with a little shudder and Sheppard felt his grateful acceptance of the strength in his touch. He swallowed, hoping fervently he wasn't getting in over his head.
"I won't. This time you're calling the shots. I promise."
Kavanagh nodded jerkily. The program made a whirring sound and Sheppard felt the familiar, falling sensation.