Draco didn't manage to catch another glimpse of Harry until the dark haired boy sprinted into Potions first thing Monday morning a mere thirty seconds before lessons were due to start. To make matters worse, despite his valiant efforts to save Harry a seat next to him, Pansy had abruptly settled herself beside him and had been prattling on nonstop ever since. Time ticked slowly by as Draco tried to block out the rambling girl beside him enough to discern the myriad of emotions Harry was giving off. He was so engrossed in the dark haired boy across the room that it was not until some long minutes later when the room dropped into awkward silence that Draco even realized the bell had rung some time ago, but Professor Snape was nowhere to be seen. Another quarter hour passed in this manner, the students looking anxiously about, afraid to speak, expecting that at any moment the doors would burst open in a flurry of black robes, and a deluge of point deductions would rain down upon them all. When the door finally did open, it was in a slow and peaceful way to admit a purple and turquoise clad figure rather than the ominous black clad terror they had been expecting. A shared breath was held as a strangely amused Headmaster strode in, glancing from face to face and trying to suppress a smile.
"May I have your attention, please?"
As if the iridescent fuscia hat and overwhelming smell of ginger snaps accompanying Albus Dumbledore's presence, paired with the heavy tension in the room had not been enough to gain the bewildered students' undivided concentration.
"As I am certain you have noticed, lessons began twenty-three minutes ago, and yet you seem to be lacking a Potions Master. I assure you there is no need for alarm; Severus is merely dealing with a… personal… problem, and thus finds himself unable to be in attendance. And, seeing as my potions skills aren't exactly up to par, I hope that you will all find a study period in your Common Rooms or the library amendable."
Around the room the students began to whisper excitedly, gathering up their belongings amongst muted exclamations of joy and some disrespectful conjectures as to Snape's "personal problem". Of all the students, however, none were quite so ecstatic as Draco Malfoy. The words had barely left Dumbledore's mouth before the Slytherin was grabbing his things, pushing roughly past Pansy and very nearly running to the far back corner where Harry sat. In his eagerness, the usually observant boy completely missed what seemed to be a particularly intense staring contest between none other than his target, Harry Potter, and the old Headmaster.
Harry felt a shiver chase down his spine as his eyes met with twinkling blue orbs, yellowed slightly with age. It was as if the kindly old man was staring directly into his soul, picking apart his mind, and Harry felt both cornered and slightly dizzy. The room suddenly seemed very warm, sweat prickling the back of his neck, yet he felt vaguely cold all over. The bustling students around him blurred completely out of focus until all he was aware of was Albus Dumbledore a few feet away, and the near painful hammering of his heart. A sudden wave of anxiety washed sick and heady through Harry, his eyes widening in shock and his chest tightening. When an overly warm, slightly clammy hand grabbed him by the elbow, Harry nearly jumped out of his skin. Instantly, the strange spell that had held him captive was broken, and the world around him began to return by degrees. Dumbledore smiled knowingly at him before turning and walking away.
"Harry? Are you listening?"
Green eyes darted back to see Draco standing beside him, tugging slightly at his elbow.
"Sorry… what did you say?"
Draco's brow furrowed slightly, and he worried his bottom lip for a moment before continuing.
"I asked if you would come down to my room with me so we can talk. Are you alright?"
Harry suddenly realized that much of the overwhelming anxiety he was feeling wasn't actually his own, but Draco's feelings, pouring through their link at a dizzying rate. He felt instantly guilty for letting Draco's worry ferment for so long. He also desperately wished to avoid the inevitable conversation looming, but knew it was inevitable, as well as dreadfully unfair to put Draco through this stupid mess.
"Umm… alright, sure. I guess."
Harry packed away his school things into his bag, and the two boys walked down to the Slytherin dormitories in silence.
XxX
"Harry, for Merlin's sake, just tell me what happened!"
Draco raked his fingers through his unusually messy hair once more, mussing it up further. Barely ten minutes and he was already to the point of pacing, all nerves and frustration while Harry sat awkwardly on his bed, picking at a loose thread on the luxurious green comforter.
"Harry, please. I'll understand, I promise. I just want to help. I'm just trying to…"
He trailed off with a sigh, sinking dejectedly onto the bed, back against the footboard, head falling back to hit the wood with a dull thud. Even in his head he couldn't find the words to complete that sentence. What was he trying to do? Just trying to make Harry happy? To keep him safe? To love him? To be the best… boyfriend… he could be? It all sounded so empty and useless next to the reality of Harry miserable and withdrawn, sitting dejectedly beside him. He sighed again, but the frustrated exhalation caught in his throat as he was brought back to reality by the warm, soft, unfamiliar sensation of Harry crawling into his lap. Grey eyes flew open to see the dark, messy head nuzzling against his neck, arms sliding around Draco's middle and holding on tightly. Hesitantly, Draco returned the embrace, heart pounding painfully fast as he pulled the smaller boy flush against him, Harry's legs sticking out awkwardly, one on each side.
"I'm sorry... about what happened. I didn't mean to…" Harry looked up, gingerly touching the faded scratch across Draco's cheek before burying his face against the other boy's throat. Harry did not want to talk about this. He wanted to pretend it hadn't happened and go on acting as if nothing at all was out of the ordinary. He hated how dramatic everything was, and how weak he felt. What he hated most of all, though, was putting Draco through all these insane highs and lows of emotion. He longed to be able to have a regular, happy sort of relationship with this strange new version of Draco that was holding him. On the other hand, however, loath though he was to admit it, Harry basked in the obvious concern that emanated from the other boy. Concern was putting it mildly, actually. Draco's frustration, fear, and protectiveness were almost overpowering, and they made Harry feel more loved and cared for than he could ever remember being in his entire life. Harry sighed, torn between these conflicting emotions and still wishing this whole mess would just disappear.
"Draco, I know you're trying to help, but... I don't know what you can do. I thought the dreams were finally gone, but this one… it was worse than all the others. So much worse."
Draco worried his lower lip again, letting his teeth sink down hard into the already tender flesh, tightening his hold on Harry almost to the point of pain, rubbing the other boy's back with a slow, firm tenderness. Harry melted into a boneless heap of nerves in his arms.
"It was another one of those dreams? About the ra- …thing that happened?"
A slight nod from Harry was the only response.
"What happened? Did you see who it was?"
Another slight nod. It took Harry several minutes to work up the will to elaborate, and when he did speak his voice sounded worn and exasperated.
"I don't know… it started out like all the other dreams. I couldn't see their faces, and I couldn't tell who they were. But…"
The word hung heavily in the air between them.
"It's stupid, never mind."
"No… no, go on. It's not stupid at all."
Harry snorted.
"Are you sure you weren't supposed to be in Hufflepuff? I didn't think they allowed mother hens in the snake den."
Draco stiffened all over, fists clenching.
"I thought you'd be happy to have a mother for once."
Harry recoiled instantly, withdrawing from Draco's lap and making it half-way to the door before the other boy could even process what had just happened.
"Harry! Wait… I didn't mean…"
Stupid, stupid, stupid. The most obvious avoidance tactic ever and he'd fallen straight into it. Draco found it highly disconcerting that Harry could still draw such a reaction from him, and even worse that the dark haired boy would do it purposely.
"Didn't mean what? That I'm an orphan?" Harry spat back bitterly, hand on the door, turning the knob, pulling it open…
Draco's hand slammed the door back shut, grabbing Harry's trembling hands in his own.
"Hey… it's not like I've got one either anymore. A mum, that is. I… I'm sorry. I shouldn't have acted like that. I didn't mean to."
Harry stared at the floor, slowly nodding his acceptance and letting himself be led back to the bed. Draco lay down, pulling Harry down with him and tugging up the small, green velour coverlet he kept beside his bed for these rare occasions. Harry's tense shoulders relaxed slightly as he tugged the blanket close and lay his head on Draco's chest.
"What did you dream?"
Harry sucked thoughtfully at the corner of the blanket for several minutes, debating whether or not to say anything at all, going vaguely cross-eyed with concentration. Draco was decidedly displeased with the fact that looking at Harry just then made him feel so very fluffy inside, not to mention dreadfully protective. He was turning into a Hufflepuff, Merlin help him.
"When I think about it now," Harry's voice broke through Draco's self-depreciating reverie, "my mind keeps wanting to substitute in real life people for the shadows in my dreams. The people don't make any sense though, it's just impossible…"
"Who?"
A frustrated sort of huff tickled Draco's throat and Harry looked up at him in annoyance.
"People that would never do that to me! They love me, or care about me, or at least don't hate me that much."
Harry rolled away from Draco and onto his back, staring up at the dark green canopy overhead.
"Who?"
Harry wondered if a wise-arsed owl related comment would distract Draco, but he figured if comparing the other boy to a Hufflepuff wasn't going to cause distraction enough then nothing would.
"Snape. And… and Charlie."
Draco held his breath a moment, trying to be patient, but failing miserably.
"Who else? You said five or six."
Draco half sat up with anticipation, knowing who it would be, but rather scared to hear it confirmed. Harry's face looked pale and painful, eyes distant.
"Ron. Hermione."
Draco bit his lip as his mind rushed to connect all the pieces, reaching to brush the hair from the overly bright green eyes.
"Harry, I'm sor-"
"And you."
Draco froze, unable to process this information.
"What?"
Harry pulled at the blanket, wadding it up into a ball and squeezing it hard against his aching chest.
"I dreamed that you were there, too. That you hurt me. You ra.. raped me." Harry's voice cracked and he pushed the blanket aside, standing up to pace or run or do something, only to find his knees were so weak that he slumped right back down onto the bed.
Draco didn't understand. All the others made sense. The strange things he'd seen in real life over the past few months, the people involved all matched those in the nightmare perfectly. But him? He'd never… NEVER…
"I'd never!"
Harry raked his fingers through his hair before burying his face in his hands.
"I know, I know…"
"Then why…?"
Harry shook his head weakly.
"I don't know."
Despite his best attempts, Draco found a spark of anger and indignation flaring inside him.
"Merlin, Harry, what am I supposed to do? I've tried so hard- I thought you knew me better than that, I thought you trusted me!"
A strong urge to break something overtook Draco like it hadn't in many months. His fingers clenched and unclenched relentlessly and he suddenly wished they were in Harry's room so he could storm out and slam the door. However, storming out of his own room seemed a little pointless. He opened his mouth to tell Harry to go away when the boy turned to face him, crawling across the bed. His eyes looked so tired just then, filled with unshed tears. Somehow, through the haze of anger, Draco felt strangely proud that Harry had managed the whole encounter without crying. Then Harry took one of Draco's hands in each of his, sitting on his knees directly in front of Draco and meeting the indignant grey eyes with his own.
"Don't you get it, you stupid git? Weren't you listening? That's what made it so terribly. I do trust you. Everyone in the dream; they were all people I've trusted throughout my life in one way or another. In the dream, the more I trusted them, the more they hurt me. I trust you more than anyone at all, and… yeah." He looked away awkwardly, examining their hands for a moment before meeting Draco's eyes once more. "I don't understand it, but I do trust you, so much. Believe me."
And with that Harry leaned in, pressing their lips together shyly. Their noses bumped lightly together an instant before the light kisses turned serious. A barrier in Harry seemed to burst, his hands guiding Draco's around his waist to his back before threading his own about Draco's neck. Grey eyes shot open at the first tentative touch of tongue against his lips, but Harry did not stop there. Draco's shock grew immeasurably as he found himself pushed onto his back, soft, slightly chapped lips parting his own before Harry's tongue slipped boldly into his mouth. Draco tried to pull away, anxious to reassure Harry that he didn't have to do this to prove his trust or to calm him down. The dark haired boy would have none of it, though, hands moving to guide Draco's hands away from where they were pushing at his shoulders to back around his waist.
"What? Don't you trust me…?"
Harry whispered against his lips before sliding his tongue hotly against Draco's and settling his weight more firmly across the other boy's hips. It became suddenly and painfully obvious to Draco that this kiss was not about guilt or fear as he'd first imagined. It wasn't even really about trust… well, it was, but that seemed secondary now. This was Harry's way of saying all the things he wanted to say but couldn't find the right words for. It was Harry's way of expressing those three little words he had sworn never to tell Draco aloud. It was about Harry needing this touch, this reassurance, this slice of simple intimacy. Mostly, though, it was just about two anxious, confused boys that cared for each other very much, sharing a desperate, hungry kiss. At least that's what it became once Draco's tongue was finally coaxed into joining in. Harry made a soft 'mmmm' noise of approval into Draco's mouth, hands clinging to the front of Draco's shirt. Draco pulled him closer, tangling them together, feeling so overwhelmed. The desperation between them was growing by the second, and Draco nearly cried out when he felt Harry's hands unbuttoning his shirt, an answering wave of passion from Harry hitting him so strong it left Draco senseless. Their bond was alive with magic and emotion, buzzing like electricity between them, fueling them on. Harry sunk his teeth softly into Draco's lower lip as he had seen the boy do countless times himself, slipping his fingers along Draco's chest in a soft caress. Draco's hips jerked slightly despite himself, and they both cried out at the contact.
The bell rang.
Harry jerked back instantly, blushing madly, lips glistening and swollen and so very pink, eyes going wide with realization. Their soft sounds of passion only moments before seemed to echo deafeningly around the silent room with their ragged breaths. Draco stared at him, chest heaving, trying to regain himself but shocked by how absolutely stunning the other boy looked just then, amazed and awe struck by this new side of Harry.
Mind racing, Harry couldn't quite process the image of Draco laying flushed and panting beneath him, shirt rumpled and half open, kiss swollen lips smiling up at him. It was so sudden, so fast, he just couldn't believe it. He felt terrible all of a sudden as a thought came to him; had he just forced himself on Draco? Harry began to jerk away, but Draco reached out before he could get too far, grabbing the other boy's hands and squeezing them gently.
"No. Just… don't even think that, you crazy… stupid… beautiful… no."
Draco's brain was still having a hard time functioning and his breaths were still uneven, so instead of elaborating, he merely pulled Harry back down for another kiss, much softer this time, enveloping Harry in a tight hug.
"I love you, you crazy git."
Despite himself, Harry couldn't help but laugh. He didn't doubt Draco for a moment.
They were both a little late for their next lesson.
XxX
The next day, Snape returned as mean and nasty as ever, if not a little distracted. Several times throughout lecture he stopped mid sentence, looking around the room as if he'd heard something peculiar, or expected to see something there that wasn't. Each time he recovered quickly, though, continuing on exactly where he'd left off. As they all rushed towards the door after the bell rang, he seemed to decide last minute to make up for his previous absence and preoccupation by assigning three different essays on random potions ingredients, all to be a minimum of five feet long.
Seeming not to want to be outdone, McGonagall, Flitwick and Binns likewise assigned several large projects, all due on various dates over the upcoming three weeks. The new term had officially begun and, as Draco had feared, the numerous assignments left very little time for him and Harry to simply indulge in each other's company. Each night they met in the library to work on their projects, but were so busy and subsequently so tired that they barely got a word in sideways, any further displays of affection put completely on hold. Despite the minimal interaction, however, barely a moment went by when Draco thought about anything unrelated in some way to the beautiful tragedy of a boy drifting along beside him. In the long, lonely hours of sleepless nights, Draco often found himself reliving each kiss they'd shared in vivid detail, willing their work away so they could return to the easy companionship they'd shared during the Christmas holiday. Most of all, though, Draco thought about Harry's terrible nightmare and the implications it carried. Were Snape, Charlie, Ron and Hermione somehow conspiring against Harry? But why? What would that achieve? However, if they weren't, than what was their strange behavior about? Since the start of the new term, Ron and Hermione had alternated between ignoring Harry and gushing over him, once even dragging him forcibly from the library for a game of Wizards Chess upstairs in the Tower. Likewise, Charlie had taken to winking at Draco on the few times they passed in the halls. Snape was the most curious of all, though, alternating between heartless bastard and silent, distracted specter ever since Harry's attack. Plus, as far as Draco could recall, the Potions Master had never missed a lesson, ever, until the first day of that term. He was also unaware of anything at all "personal" about the man that could be drastic enough that it couldn't be healed by taking points from Gryffindor. It was all very peculiar, and left Draco feeling edgy and distracted as he tried to piece it all together.
Harry, for his part, was for once very perceptive of Draco's feelings, lying awake for hours at a time pondering the strange emotions coming through their link. However, their time together was so fleeting, and Harry was always so exhausted after staying up all night thinking about the other boy that when they actually saw each other, he always forgot to ask.