KEYNOTE: Lucius got the Diary back in the second book. I know it is probably not canon but just go with that at some point in the Dobby/Lucius scuffle Lucius had his hand on the Diary and brought it back with him. It is canon that Lucius gets the snot kicked out of him for losing it.

PLEASE READ- Is it super dramatic that Voldemort found the same studies Lily did? I don't think so, my reasoning is why wouldn't Voldemort be looking for the magic Lily used? This isn't a few months of research this is the product of fourteen years of researching, but in my story he finds it. Somewhere between Britain and Saudi Arabia, Wormtail and Voldemort came across some literature and other forms of Dark Magic that included the curse Lily used. It does not seem odd to me that Voldy had enough strength to read or that his spirit was demonic enough to eat another's. In fact, I would reason that a fractured soul would be more likely to try and feed off a healthy soul. Downside; without any anchors, one more strike and he's out. No second chances, if Voldemort slips up he is gone forever. But he doesn't know that yet.:KEYNOTE:

Chapter 25 - What We Lost

Dear Diary,

Everything is falling apart. The Dark Lord is back. Harry seems confident.

He shouldn't be.

The Nargles are coming out of their hidey holes to laugh at us.

LL

Harry was pleased beyond measure that Sirius was free.

Dearest Harry,

I'm free!

Amelia Bones approved me as your legal guardian! You are officially, officially coming home with me this summer!

I will be at your next quidditch match (as a human!) and afterwards, I will take you out for ice cream. We have formal permission by the Assistant Headmistress Minerva.

I can't stop smiling. As in, I physically cannot stop my face muscles from turning upwards.

Tonks is taking me out to go get some decent wizarding robes from this decade, and then she is taking me to her home for dinner. I am going to see my cousin, Andromeda for the first time in forever.

The best part is I don't have to explain myself, the whole truth is out now!

I can't wait to see you. Stay safe. I love you so much.

Love Your Dogfather,

Freeman Sirius Orion Black :D

Harry showed Luna the letter that had been delivered by Hedwig.

She smiled tightly. "I like his smiley at the end," she said, voice nearly as tight as her smile.

Harry frowned at her, "Luna, what's wrong?"

"Voldemort is back, Harry," she said, stroking Hedwig's feathers for comfort.

"So what?" Harry sighed, "It isn't like he ever went away."

"All Wormtail said was that 'the Dark Lord was back' and that he was 'all powerful,' he didn't say how he came back. I really think they should have kept asking him questions before giving him the Dementor's Kiss," she said.

Susan pushed her way between Ron and Harry. "That's what my Aunt said. But there was uproar at the courts. She said it was all she could do to keep the court from going into full scale riot and before my Aunt could okay it, Fudge had given the order for the Kiss. Of course, the Dementors didn't hesitate. They never do about that kind of thing."

Harry's pleasant was quickly abating and he felt himself getting angry. "What does it matter? It isn't like there is anything we can do about here. We are still in school."

He heard his own words and was nearly as shocked at himself as the incredulous faces that Ron and Hermione were giving him.

"Well at least someone is seeing sense," Astoria said, having approached from the other side of the table. She, unlike Susan, did not push people out of the way, people simply got out her way. She sat primly in the cleared space.

People had stopped complaining about inter-house seating, even if a Slytherin at the Gryffindor table still got some weird looks.

"Professor Snape seems unsettled," Astoria noted.

Harry looked up at the head table, and it was not just Snape who seemed unnerved. Well aside from Umbridge, she looked weirdly pleased.

Probably thinking how she could use the disorder to her advantage.

"They all seem unsettled," Hermione said, "we all are."

"But surely," Ron started, "there is something we can do."

"No," Harry said firmly.

"Why not?" Ron protested.

Harry had to bite his tongue to keep back the words, Because the last time we took matters into our own hands in the fifth year Sirius ended up dead.

"Where would we even start?" Luna asked, covering for Harry's pause. "We have no idea where Voldemort is."

Hermione sighed, "I guess you're right."

"Guess she's right?" Astoria repeated. "There is no guessing needed. She is right and there is nothing we can do."

Harry sighed, "That isn't completely true."

Susan chuckled, "Sensible points used up for the day, Harry?"

Harry shook his head, "Not quite. Voldemort goes after kids. We need to be on guard and if anyone starts acting oddly, say something. The best thing we can do is take care of each other. No one goes anywhere alone, and anyone in the third year or younger should have an extra eye put on them."

"Huh," Astoria said, "I think the Ravenclaws are rubbing off on him."

"I thought you would claim him as Slytherin," Susan said with a grin, "he is being a survivalist after all."

Astoria shrugged, "If he was truly a Slytherin, he would have dropped out of school like Draco Malfoy."

"I thought he was just on a prolonged vacation?" Ron asked, perking up in hope that the little blonde demon would never return.

"At this rate," Astoria said darkly, "Who knows what's going to happen?"

Harry was enjoying charms. Magic and his studies were his only solace this week. Though he enjoyed his time with Luna and his friends, everyone was so on edge that there was none of the relaxed fun he had grown to count on.

Harry wasn't looking forward to another war and he had no way of knowing how bad this one would be. On the bright side, all anyone had to do this time was kill Voldemort. No damned horcruxes left and with a soul as fractured as his, it would be highly unlikely that Voldemort could even attempt to make another one.

But Harry was worried.

How did Voldemort get a body this time around? What did he look like?

And what was perhaps worrying Harry the most was something that only a handful of people expected. When was the break out of Azkaban going to happen?

Harry would talk to Flitwick after class, just to be sure it was on everyone's radar. Maybe Harry should write another letter to Amelia? It would sort of cause him trouble if everyone found out he was a time traveler but not as much trouble as several Death Eaters -some of them as feared as Voldemort himself, were on the loose.

Taking a deep breath and pushing it all aside, he worked on perfecting his charm spell and when that was done he got a head start on his homework.

Cho Chang didn't bother him in this class anymore.

When the bell rang, Flitwick waved Harry over.

"Have a seat, Harry, there are some matters you need to be aware of," Flitwick said after the room had emptied.

"Sir," Harry started, "I know I told you this already, but do you know if anything has been done to secure Azkaban? You know, outside of the Dementors."

Flitwick nodded gravely, "Amelia Bones and Kingsley Shacklebolt were able to get their letters of execution. Those prisoners in high security have been sentenced and administered the Dementor's Kiss. Honestly, I think Fudge signed off on it to try and quell public panic. Though after the debacle with Sirius coming to light, they did go through all of the paperwork. No one is allowed to receive the Dementor's Kiss without a trial, which all of Voldemort's imprisoned Death Eater's did receive."

Harry sighed in relief, "Well that is good news at least. A world without Bellatrix Lestrange is a safer one."

"Indeed," Flitwick agreed but he didn't look happy.

"There is more bad news, isn't there?" Harry asked sinking glumly into his seat.

"I am afraid so."

"Just tell me."

"You heard about Mr. Nott being found in Hogsmeade?"

"Hog's Head right?" Harry asked with a nod. "What I don't understand though is how a Dementor got by Aberforth."

"Not the Hog's Head, although, Mr. Nott did go there for a drink before his ordeal. He was found soulless at the Three Broomsticks."

Harry frowned, "There's no way a Dementor got to the center of town without causing a ruckus."

"That is the thing, Harry, there was no ruckus, no Dementor, he had planned a meeting with Severus and was found soulless at the bar before Severus arrived, well before they were supposed to have their meeting. No sign of a struggle. Witnesses say he just dropped, no soul."

Harry was frowning, "How? And why isn't everyone talking about this?"

"It was overshadowed by Pettigrew's trial and nobody really believes it. They think it was something he drank and that he's dead now. His body was taken away without much fuss. But Severus has a theory."

Harry sank further into his seat and asked almost mournfully, "What theory?"

Flitwick sighed, "Severus believes that Voldemort has found a way to jump bodies, possibly by eating the souls of his victims."

Harry's face went white, even with the tan he looked terribly pale. He swallowed, his throat suddenly felt dry. "Please tell me you don't mean he could be anyone and anywhere?"

Flitwick shook his head, "He could be anyone and anywhere."

"Bollocks," Harry cursed.

"Our only clue might be when a body drops soulless that he is switching between hosts. However, whatever body he is in, Severus thinks it would be best to assume that as long as they are magical Voldemort has his full magical capacity. A wizards magic is tied to their life source. Though our bodies and intelligence can sometimes constrain our magic it is our life source, and therefore, even the piece of the Dark Lord that lives on is outstandingly powerful. Giving himself fresh hosts, eating souls, it only adds to his strength."

"Bollocks."

"Your lessons with Severus, how have they been going?" Flitwick asked.

Harry took off his glasses to rub his face, "Not remarkably well. When I am able to shield my mind it is more luck than force of will if I am being honest."

"I would advise you put more effort into those lessons," Flitwick said, not unkindly. "Also proceed with extreme caution. It has already been proven multiple times that possession is not something the wards at Hogwarts recognizes."

"You might want to work on that," Harry suggested.

Flitwick's lips turned up but there was no mirth to that smile. "I have discussed it with Headmaster and Professor Vector."

"What did they said?"

"Possession is not common enough that there are any standard wards for it. We are searching but-"

"But it will likely be too little, too late," Harry supplied.

"I wish had better news for you."

"Don't we all."

A few weeks passed and nothing bad happened. Well, nothing anyone was aware of anyhow.

Harry caught up to Theo after their potions lesson one Monday and asked, "How are you?"

Theo gave him a sidelong look.

Draco, who had only recently returned, waited for Theo a little ways down the hall.

When Harry waited patiently and didn't back down immediately, Theo exhaled, letting his shoulders ease.

"I'm good, Potter, better than good, I'm glad he's dead."

Harry would not be glad to see the Dursleys dead, but then Harry had had his suspicions that Theo's homelife was worse than he could imagine. Harry had seen some of the signs as he had gotten to know Theo over the last year. "Do you know who you will be staying with?"

"The Greengrass family got saddled with me," Theo said evenly. "I am surprised they took me in. Some distant, or not so distant relative rubbish or what not. I don't intend to be a charity case though. Once I turn seventeen, I am out of there. Which is the following summer so it isn't that big a deal in the long run."

Harry nodded, "If you ever need anything, let me know. I know we aren't that close, but I'm around if you do."

Theo nodded again and went to join Draco, who didn't look at Harry.

Draco had been acting odd, but then his parents were moving to Northern Europe and he would be transferring to Durmstrang soon. Draco was here waiting for the needed formalities in Durmstrang to go through.

Harry did not understand why Lucius would be fleeing from the possibility of the Dark Lord returning. But then Lucius had gotten one of Voldemort's horcruxes destroyed and if memory served, that hadn't played out well for the Malfoys.

Hermione and Ron caught up with him then, interrupting his ponderings.

"What were you talking about with Theodore?" Hermione asked, giving the lanky boy a look that made Harry have to hide a smirk.

In Harry's distance, Ron and Hermione had come to an understanding. That understanding was that though they were friends, without Harry as buffer there was only so much of each other's company they could handle.

Harry was not at all saddened by the possibility that they wouldn't be dating in the future. Ron was not good enough or kind enough to Hermione to deserve her.

Luna's words came back to him then, you should tell Ron and Hermione. You don't have to tell them everything but you should tell them the basics. They love you, they would die for you, they deserve to know why you have changed from the person that they knew and depended on.

"Hermione, Ron?" Harry began.

They both looked at him, hearing his tone of voice changing.

"I think I owe you a long overdue explanation."

Ron and Hermione exchanged a look before they turned back to Harry.

Hermione said, "Well it's about bloody time."

They found an abandoned classroom and Harry began with the day of the last task.

"You know the day of the last task?" Harry asked.

Ron and Hermione nodded, scared to speak and somehow deter Harry from sharing the truth with them.

"Well, someone, likely the false-Moody used the imperius curse on Krum, who then attacked Fleur and Cedric. I was able to help Cedric in time and one thing led to another and we reached the cup together."

Ron couldn't help himself. "We know that."

Harry shook his head, "We decided to grab the cup together, win together. We both lost as it turned out. We got portkeyed to a graveyard. Voldemort and Wormtail were there. Voldemort ordered, 'Kill the Spare.' And Wormtail hit Cedric with an Avada Kedavra."

Ron and Hermione stared at him, speechless. Harry looked at them passively. He still didn't want to tell them this and even as he spoke he debated how much he should or even could handle to tell them.

"But Harry," Hermione said slowly, "that couldn't have happened. Cedric is alive."

Harry continued his story as if he hadn't heard her. "Wormtail got the best of me. I was captured. Voldemort enacted a ceremony that required his father's bones, my blood, and Wormtail's hand. Voldemort rose to full power that night and summoned his Death Eaters. Voldemort challenged me to a duel and as fate would have it, our wands have the same core which meant but some obscure rule of wand lore he couldn't kill me with that wand.

"And due to the same wack wandlore, the spirits of the people who he killed most recently with that wand came out. Cedric, my mum, and my dad. Cedric told me to take his body back with me, my parents told me to run and attacked, or rather distracted Voldemort. I got back to the cup and we arrived back on the Hogwarts grounds. Voldemort alive and Cedric dead."

Hermione and Ron did not say a word. Harry went on.

"That summer was one of the worst of my life. You didn't write. The only thing people would tell me if I bothered to reach out was to stay safe and keep my nose clean. Fifth year sucked. I was angry all the time and Voldemort kept sending me visions. Snape was a git, Dumbledore wouldn't so much as look at me, and Umbridge made my life hell. I was miserable and Hermione, ever the voice of reason, I ignored your advice. I got myself kicked off the quidditch team. The DADA club was great but Umbridge caught us and Umbridge took over as Headmistress.

"I didn't understand that the visions I was seeing were induced by Voldemort. He sent me one of him torturing Sirius in the Department of Mysteries during the final exam. I believed it. A group of us, not including any Slytherins, went on an adventure.

"It nearly got us all killed.

"Sirius died. Naturally, I blamed myself for it.

"Sixth year was a bust. I was the grand chosen one and Dumbledore's golden boy. I was arrogant and I obsessed over Draco being a Death Eater, and I accidentally almost killed him because I was studying spells that didn't have formal definitions.

"Death Eaters got into Hogwarts. Dumbledore died. Voldemort won.

"The seventh year the three of us spent hiding in the woods. Running around on the instructions from the instructions of a deadman. We followed quite blindly. Voldemort and his lot took over the government and I will not describe the horrors but it was a dark time for anyone who stood against Voldemort or anyone who wasn't at least a half-blood.

"It all boiled down to a battle on the Hogwarts grounds. A lot of people, of children, died."

Harry had to stop and take in some measured breaths. It was hard to tell this story again. He didn't think it would matter how often he told this story, it was never going to be easy to tell it. He would never forget what he had seen that day. In the end, dying, dying had been easier than seeing the destruction of his home and of the people he had come to love.

He wished Luna was holding his hand in this moment. He was grateful that Ron and Hermione waited for him, they didn't push.

"You know how my scar hurts when Voldemort is near me?"

Hermione and Ron nodded their heads.

"Turns out there was a piece of his soul in the scar."

Their expressions of horror made Harry smile sadly at them.

"It gets worse," Harry told them.

"Worse?" Hermione squeaked. She had been able to control herself very well up to this point, partially because of the toneless manner that Harry had been speaking in until now.

"Voldemort put out an announcement that promised if I surrendered myself he wouldn't hurt anyone else."

Ron stood, outraged, "Tell me you didn't believe him!? You plonker! You couldn't have believed him!"

Hermione was on her feet too. Her rage was quieter and all the more formidable. "Why? How could you have done that to us?"

Harry met her chocolate brown eyes and knew he was about to break her faith in the world. "I did surrender myself. I walked to my death and I did not defend myself."

Hermione's frizzy hair seemed to rise as if her power was a building lightning storm. "Why?" she demanded, voice as hard as stone.

"Because," Harry said smoothly, "Albus Dumbledore told me to."

They gawked at him.

Ron stuttered, "But- but he- why woul- but no- no. He wouldn- but- What?"

"The soul piece in my head. In order for Voldemort to die all that anchored him to this world had to die first. I had to die."

Hermione was crying, tears streaming down her dark cheeks. "No, Harry, no." She looked angry and hurt and as if her heart were breaking for him.

"Anyway. Voldemort hit me with the killing curse, again. I died. But when I woke up my scar was bleeding, and the pain… Coming back to life hurts a hell of a lot more than dying. I know I keep telling people that, but I really can't explain exactly how bad it hurt."

"That isn't possible…" Ron said numbly.

"And the day I woke up-"

"The day of the last task," Hermione finished for him.

Harry nodded, "Yep. I thought I was dreaming. I went through the whole task and didn't realize until after I grabbed the cup, this time without Cedric, that maybe this isn't a dream. I killed Voldemort's snake but Wormtail ran away with the thing that was Voldemort. The rest- well I think you can piece together what happened after that, you've been around."

Hermione was shaking, "Why didn't you tell us? Why didn't you just tell us!?"

Ron just sat there, looking like his mind had been blown, staring at Harry like a man coming to the realization that he didn't know anything about anything or anyone.

"Because, Hermione, you are not my Hermione. You could be, you would have been, but you aren't the Hermione I went to war with."

She looked pissed. "What the hell is that even supposed to mean?"

"It means that person you became… you should not have had to become that person, Hermione. You shouldn't have had to suffer like that and I couldn't bear to tell you. I didn't even want you to hear it second hand."

"How much of that story did you leave out?" she demanded.

"Three years doesn't sum up neatly, Hermione."

"How much did you leave out?"

"A lot."

"Tell me."

"This reaction is why I didn't tell you to begin with. I know you. Your mind is already spinning trying to solve problems that are years beyond you."

"I am not stupid," she said getting into his face.

He stood towering over her a bit, "Of course, you're not. I know what you're capable of, probably better than you do, but that's my point, Hermione. I don't want you to put all your efforts into fighting a war that should never have been your problem if you hadn't been friends with me to start with."

"I am a mudblood, this was always my fight!"

"The hell it is!" Harry yelled back finally losing his own temper. "You don't know what we did, what we had to give up, what we lost of ourselves!"

"So you're what?" she asked acridly, "Protecting me?"

"Of course! Of course, I am protecting you. Damnit, Hermione, I love you!"

Ron let out a short breath and said the first thing that came to his overwrought brain, "I thought you loved Luna."

Harry rolled his eyes and made a sound in the back of his throat. "Not like that." Harry put his hands on Hermione's shoulders. "You and Ron are my family. I didn't know how to handle time traveling or being friends with the people who no longer remembered the pain I was in. I didn't know how to be your friend and keep you- keep you innocent, young. Our time at Hogwarts was stolen. Neither of you are of age yet and you had been through enough as it was. How could I put this burden on you when I could keep you safe?"

"So why tell us now?" Hermione asked, voice softer but still angry.

"Because Luna was right, you needed to know why I have been so distant, why I don't confide in you like I used to. I still care about the both you. I am still your friend, things are just different than they used to be. I am different than I used to be."

"Luna is a year younger than us? Why did you think you could burden her?" Ron asked, confused and hurt more than he was angry.

"Luna watched her mother die, you both have your parents, your families, you have a safe home to go back to that isn't a constant reminder of past tragedies."

"And did that change in the future?" Ron asked.

Harry didn't say anything.

The blood drained from Ron's face, his freckles standing out like pepper on white rice. "Who?" he asked weakly.

"Don't ask me, Ron, please, don't ask me that, not now, not ever. Let it be enough that I came back and have done everything in power to ensure that the future I came from never happens again. The Heads of House, Amelia Bones, people know the worst that could happen. It will not happen the way it did in my time."

Hermione hugged him then.

"Don't leave us again, Harry," she said between the tears, "please, just don't leave us, again."

Harry wrapped his arms around her shaking shoulders as she began to sob.

Ron came around then, hugging both Hermione and Harry with his long arms. "We've missed you mate."

"I'm sorry," Harry said into the curls of Hermione's bushy hair. "I am so sorry."

People who know Harry is from the future: Filius Flitwick, Sirius Black, Luna Lovegood, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Poppy Pomfrey, Hermione Granger, and Ron Weasley. Keep in mind that Minerva, Poppy, Hermione, and Ron only know parts of the full truth.

Amelia knows about the Dark Lord's connection with the Dementors, which I think is part of the reason why she was killed so early in the books.

AN: Looks at self, looks at the outline, looks at the audience; didn't plan to write that now but apparently, Harry missed his friends. My characters ignore that I am their god, often. It's like they think they have free will or something. Also, I realized how not whimsical Luna was in this chapter. She wasn't in love in canon, caring more about people even for people like Luna would make her more stressed out. I am having far to much fun writing this story. I have my plot and I really do feel like I am playing chess. Technically, the good side is smarter, more well informed, and ahead of the Dark Lord which is the reverse of the set up in canon. But my twist is rather than having Voldemort playing a stationary king, he has all the powers of the queen and is rocking the board. Sorry for the metaphor, I really do play chess.

Please, please review?