Enter...
AUNT GRANDMA

I woke up at six in the morning. All thanks to my well-tuned internal clock, of course. It's helpful to know exactly what time it is, no matter what else is going on.

Last night worked out well enough, I suppose. Although I'm not the biggest fan of Steve, given how worthless he is, I admit that it's to my benefit to give him immunity. After all, it's better for the incompetent to be immune than for the competent, since that just makes it easier later on in the game.

This plan does have its drawbacks, I will admit. After all, incompetent people sometimes manage to win purely on the basis that people prefer to have to face off against them. Like Chaz. That self-absorbed, stuck-up, unskilled idiot managing to make it all the way to the final three last time is an affront to everybody with even an ounce of taste.

For that matter, I should probably focus on strategy beyond the current matchup. I'm guaranteed a spot in the final six, that much is certain. But beyond that, I need to figure out how I'm going to keep winning, especially since I don't know for certain that my immense advantages in intelligence and strength will play out the way I need them to, especially with a competitor like Wendy who might almost be able to match me in strength. With the role luck plays in this game, I'll need to find a way to change the odds in my favor. The only question is how.

I looked over at my roommate and noticed something strange. Although she was lying on her bed with her eyes shut and an outside observer might assume she was asleep, there was something about her posture that suggested alertness, like she was pretending to be asleep for some reason. Well, two can play at that game.

I shut my eyes again and thought. Wendy might just be the answer to my problem. If I can make her seem like the biggest threat on the island, I just might be able to put a bigger target in front of me. Of course, that assumes that Wendy doesn't win immunity. So maybe, just maybe, my objective should be to take a page out of her playbook. If she's going to stop Nazz from getting immunity, well, why shouldn't I try to do the same to her?

Of course, Wendy seems to be different ever since she came back. I can't be sure, but she seems to be more...driven, really. She seems to be focused on one thing, and one thing only. That could be troublesome if I get in her way.

Either way, lying here pretending to be asleep isn't helping anything. I might as well get up and shower. Today might be a long day, and really, there's nothing Wendy can do in the cabin and I can think about this anywhere. The shower is as good a place as any.

I was in the middle of showering when the water suddenly shut off and a loud announcement was broadcast over the public address.

"Okay, campers, get your butts down to the boathouse!" Chris yelled. "No breakfast, no lunch, no anything until this challenge is over. It starts as soon as everybody's there. So...get moving!"

I scowled as I dried myself off and put my clothes on. Somehow, being half-clean is worse than being dirty. It just feels more incorrect. As soon as I was dressed, I briskly headed off towards the boathouse. When I arrived, everybody else was already there, in part because the showers were on the opposite side of camp.

"Well, look who finally decided to show up," Chris said sarcastically. "Do you know how long we've been waiting?"

"About half a minute?" Steve guessed.

"Thanks, Steve," Chris said sarcastically. "I just wanted to bust her chops for being late, but you totally wrecked it. Whatever. Your challenge giver awaits you...in here!"

Chris threw open the door to the boathouse, revealing a tall, broad-shouldered man with orange hair and a dopey, gap-toothed grin on his face. He waved to us shyly.

"Uh, hi," he said. "I'm Rodney, and uh, I'm gonna give you your challenge today, okay? It's a, uh, fishing challenge."

"What kind of fishing challenge?" I asked.

Rodney just stared at me. His grin seemed to get even wider and even dopier, if such a thing were possible.

"Um, Rodney?" Nazz asked. "Is everything alright?"

Rodney seemed to snap out of his daze. "Oh, uh, there's fish, and buckets, and hearts go boom hook, and...yeah."

Okay, maybe not so much snapping out of his daze, but at least he became more lucid.

Chris groaned. "Whoever catches the most fish wins. Is that right?"

"Uh, right!" Rodney said. "Lots of fish."

"Good," Chris said. "Now get in the boathouse, grab some rods, reels, bait...whatever else you need for fishing, I dunno, and meet us down at the docks! Rodney, come!"

Rodney meekly walked out of the boathouse and over to Chris. The rest of us rushed in to get fishing supplies.

Fishing is really boring when you don't catch anything. At least, that was my conclusion after two hours of sitting on the dock with a line in the water, waiting for something to bite. I wasn't the only one in this position, naturally. Nobody else had been able to catch anything either.

"Okay, you know what?" Chris said, sounding irritated. "I'm bored."

"So what should we do?" Rodney asked awkwardly.

Chris grinned and held up a walkie-talkie. He pushed a button on the side of it and began to speak into it.

"Team Underwater, it'd be real helpful if you could attack right about now," he said.

Several shark fins surfaced and headed towards shore quickly. Suddenly, our lines went limp one after the other. Nazz quickly reeled hers in.

"Somebody cut my line!" Nazz exclaimed.

Chris grinned. "Oh, I wouldn't say they cut your line."

Suddenly, a shark leapt out of the water in front of us, did a flip, and plummeted into the water again. Several fins swam by right in front of us.

"Uh, Chris?" Rodney asked nervously. "Is this safe?"

Chris burst into a fit of laughter. Seconds later, two sharks jumped out of the water, heading for us. I ducked and barely managed to avoid getting bitten as the shark sailed over my head. All of us quickly stood up and started backing away, but it was too late, as the sharks kept diving and snapping at us.

hanging upside-down for an extended period of time can cause suffocation as the lungs are crushed by the weight of the organs that are normally below them pressing down on them

I directed a few punches at those that came near me, but I was almost fighting blind, as they came at us frequently and without warning.

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"Oh yeah, this is entertainment," Chris said enthusiastically. "Now one of you get eaten!"

"No, Chris, don't!" Rodney said worriedly.

"Don't what?" Chris asked.

"Call them off, please!" Rodney said. "I wouldn't want anybody I–uh–I–uh..."

"Not quite yet," Chris said.

Nazz yelped as a shark landed in front of her on the dock and snapped at her feet. She fell backwards and stared at the shark, terrified as it flopped its way towards her.

nerves do not regenerate quickly and sometimes do not regenerate at all

"PLEASE!" Rodney yelled, frightened.

"Fine," Chris grumbled. He spoke into his walkie-talkie again. "Alright, you're done for today, Team Underwater. Good job."

The shark on the dock stopped where it was and then rolled off the dock. We watched as the sharks swam away, their fins receding into the distance as they left.

"Now go back to fishing or whatever," Chris said. "And try to actually catch something this time."

We headed back to our spots only to come across an unpleasant surprise: the sharks had eaten all our bait.

"Okay, how are we supposed to fish without any bait?" Wendy asked angrily.

Chris shrugged. "You guys figure it out. I don't care."

Without any bait, none of us were able to catch anything whatsoever over the next hour. By this time, we had all become more bored than before, and Steve looked like he was intermittently snoozing.

"Alright, that's it!" Chris said, annoyed. "Rodney, go out there and give them some advice. We need something to happen in this episode so we don't end up just padding it out with everybody sitting on the dock doing nothing."

Rodney saluted. "You can count on me!"

Rodney bounded over to the end of the dock, where Steve was fishing. He looked at where Steve's line was for a few seconds and then knelt down beside him.

"Okay, you see where your line is?" Rodney said. "You're not going to catch anything big that close to shore. You need to cast with power and get your line deeper."

Steve nodded. "Got it."

Rodney moved on to the person next to Steve: Boris.

"Okay, Boris, you're gonna want to use some bait," Rodney said. "You won't catch anything with an unbaited hook."

Boris gave him a dirty look but didn't say anything. Rodney walked over to Wendy.

"So, do you have any decent advice?" Wendy said sarcastically.

Rodney froze up and stared at her for a several seconds. After a bit, Wendy snapped her fingers.

"Uh, hello, earth to Rodney?" she said. "You still in there?"

Rodney shook his head and stiffly walked down the dock to me.

"So. Um," he said, as eloquently as a Rodney can say anything. "I, uh, help you do, need, me?"

I smiled at him. "Actually, I'm doing just fine, I think."

Rodney again went catatonic, prompting me to wonder what was WRONG with this idiot. He stayed that way for about a minute before shaking his head to clear it and moving on to the fifth one of us: Andy. He only looked at Andy's line for a few seconds.

"Uh, you might want to actually put a line in the water," Rodney offered.

Andy shrugged. "Meh."

"Got any advice for me, big boy?" Nazz said sweetly.

Rodney turned his head to look at her. His jaw dropped. Nazz was smiling at him with a sultry, predatory look on her face.

What the hell is WRONG with Rodney?

"C'mon, Rodney," Nazz said. "You're so smart, and so strong, I'm sure you know what to do here. Don't you always?"

Rodney froze up completely. Nazz started to look concerned.

"Uh, Rodney?" she said nervously. "Are you okay in there?"

After a few minutes, Rodney snapped back to normal.

"It's over!" he said. "Over! With the fish, and the blue, and ocean love, and sharks future teeth girls attractive, win no, home go must, yes?"

We all stared at him, completely confused.

"...what?" Steve finally asked.

"He said that he can't choose a winner," Chris said. "I wanted to have three people immune for tonight's campfire ceremony, though, so since Rodney screwed up all around, from the challenge being stupid to him not being able to choose a winner, I decree that tonight's campfire ceremony will again be a vote for immunity! Now get out of here. Lunch will be at noon."