Author's notes: Thanks to equach for the first scenario, and to Team Emerald Leader 2.0 for the second.
I don't own Nintendo, or any characters.
Midori: Any path, any battle – anesthesia
Midori is experimenting in her tent with painkillers. She is trying to make a drug to put her vict- um... Patients in a state where they cannot feel the pain her operations often cause.
Midori: Alright! In theory, this should work. My test pig has fallen asleep to it. Heh, it's almost as good at making things go to sleep as the deeprealm manager's lectures. (shouting) Kiragi!
Kiragi [would be Percy on conquest]: What is it, Midori?
Midori: I need a test subject for my new anesthetic. I need someone who finds it hard to fall asleep.
Kiragi: Then I'm your man! I can't go to sleep even if I tried. (walks into the tent)
Midori: OK. Just breathe in some of these gases. I've diluted it a lot, so it should be safe.
Kiragi: So, I just have to breathe some of this. (inhales fumes) Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
Midori: Aw yeah! That was almost instant. No more pain is happening when I'm around! (accidentally jumps on Kiragi)
Kriagi: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
Midori: Oh! I'm sorry! Wait... No reaction. It really does work as a painkiller. Heck yes. No more people squirming while I operate on them.
Corrin: (That's a lot of noise coming from Midori's tent...) Midori, are you OK?
Midori: I'm better than "OK". I've figured out how to make someone go to sleep, and experience no pain. It should be great for keeping suffering down during my operations.
Corrin: Well done.
Midori: A gas that makes people go to sleep almost instantly: it's going to be so useful!
Corrin: Hmm...
Midori: Huh? Why are you making that noise. Are you ill? I'm now able to operate without you feeling pain...
Corrin: No! I'm just thinking if such an item could be used as a non-lethal weapon.
Midori: Oh, I get it. You knock your enemies out with this for a few hours, then walk right past them as if they were dead.
Corrin: That's it. I'm just wondering how I could spread it out over a wide distance to cover a whole army.
Midori: Well, I do have a liquid that turns into a gas on impacts, and that can add a lot of pressure to a container. I learned the hard way that this gas can make stuff go everywhere!
Corrin: I think that's just what we need. Get a container full of your liquid. Surround it in a ball of the gas, make it go pop by throwing it at the enemy. The result should be a lot of knocked out enemies.
Midori: I'll try making some. I'll then give it to a ballistician.
Corrin: Good move, Midori. Our next scouting battle should be the trial run.
Midori: Yes! Looks like it will be more useful than just to stop people from squirming while I'm operating on them.
Corrin: Also, what's Kiragi doing on the floor?
Kiragi: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
Corrin: Was he the test run?
Midori: How could you tell? Anyway, yes. If you could find a bed for him, that would be grand.
Corrin: I will. (picks up Kiragi) Goodbye.
Niles [Orochi on birthright]: (A sleep powder? That sounds fun... I just wonder how I'll be able to get my hands on the stuff.)
Midori: (Great. Now, back to that damn strength potion I keep failing to make!)
A few days later...
Corrin's army is on a field. A small band of opposing soldiers and faceless
Corrin: This army has faceless and people in it. Lets see what it does...
Midori: I hope this works...
Ballistician: Let's see what happens. (fires cannon)
The non-lethal bomb flies true. It lands in the middle of the opposing army.
Midori: We may need to retreat...
Corrin: You heard her! Everyone, fall back.
The liquid in the middle expands, causing the container to explode. The soldiers and faceless collapse in a state of deep sleep. They are still breathing, though. The winds causes the gas to flow through the opposing army, making the whole force collapse. The party then picks up their enemies with nets, and claims the field to be theirs.
Midori: That worked a treat. I think we could be able to use this every battle.
Corrin: Exactly. It may well mean we can win every single battle in future with no casualties.
A/N: Just a note here. Humanity has invented air based anesthetics, so they could be used to make these non-lethal bombs. So... Why don't IRL armies use something like this? …! Oh no. I've just realized that I could have given militaries a new tactic. Oops!
Chrom: Intro ch6 – After awakening
In a plain in Ylisse, Chrom and Thajar are speaking about how to get more recruits.
Chrom: We sustained heavy losses in that last battle. It's clear that not having Robin, Inigo, Severa, Lucina or Owain is costing us dear.
Tharja: They clearly weren't cursed. Our opposing forces are just way too strong for your tactics and our newfound lack of strength. However, I have discovered a tome that can transport us to two warring kingdoms, full of strong warriors.
Chrom: Where are these warring kingdoms?
Tharja: Hoshido and Nohr.
Chrom: You mean, the legendary kingdoms of days long past? The people we all descend from... I wonder how that will work?
Tharja: It's usually best not to get into those... Small details...
Chrom: Now I'm concerned...
Tharja: Muhahaha. It's our only option, so you have no other choice...
Chrom: Fine. I'm in.
Tharja: Let us begin... (opens tome)
The two warp to the plains of Hoshido, leaving only a small scorch mark in their wake.
In the plains of Hoshido, Corrin's 8 siblings await his decision.
Corrin: I believe I need something which can get you both on the same side so that I can make peace. If you are all rooting for me, that will force you to be together. Therefore, I choose to join the battle in smash!
Ryoma: What?!
Xander: How is this possible?!
Sakura: D-does that mean we're on the same team now?
Leo: (Sakura raises a good point. Very clever, Corrin. Veeeeery clever...)
Chrom and Tharja warp into the battlefield!
Chrom: This is Chrom, Prince of Ylisse. We are in desperate need of aid from whoever can give it. I heard you both have strong armies, so you may as well put them to good use with us, please!
Selena: Really?! Ylisse needs me to save its ass AGAIN?! I'm kinda tempted to just say no at this point...
Odin: Urgh... Ylisse clearly couldn't handle without my dank aura. Well, I guess I'll come back...
Laslow: What are you two all so down-in-the-dumps for? We've just succeeded in our mission of unifying the kingdoms, and are coming back.
Odin: That's one way of looking at it. My dark aura is healthy again, thanks to that!
Chrom: We're in desperate need of a tactician, and we're quite weak.
Leo: If you need a tactician, I could be able to help. What's in it for us?
Chrom: Well... Alliance with another kingdom. Two if you count the fact it will bring you together.
Xander: Making allies with Hoshido and Ylisse does sound like a good move.
Ryoma: I admit, having Nohr and a mystery kingdom on our side is a tempting offer. Although, we will need someone to bind us together.
Corrin: It's OK. I was just going to get my butt kicked by Bayonetta anyway. I'll help you all in any way I can.
Chrom: (Bayonetta? I thought Lucina would be the one he was worried about. This "smash" place sounds very dangerous if Lucina isn't even the one everyone is worried about.) My humblest gratitude.
Tharja: We will take you to Ylisse now.
Corrin: Sorry, master hand. You'll have to stick with Shulk for now...
Shulk: I'm not being overshadowed by an objective superior? I can still be played? The future is... Changing... And I'm really feeling that! Master hand, the future doesn't belong to you.
Master hand: Damn it. I was so close to getting a new character. Oh well, time to hack into save file 5 then... (teleports away)
Tharja: Ready? Ten... Nine... Oh, stuff this, zero. (teleports everyone to Ylisse)
Back in Ylisse, the army becomes very much stronger. It looks like Ylisse may be safe once more!
However, Chrom receives a letter from Lucina detailing where she has been. It reads:
Dear the shepards
Before the main content of this letter, I must preface this with the fact that it is from Lucina. After we defeated Grima, I got an invitation to a "smash brothers" tournament. It's actually quite fun seeing fighting styles from throughout every possible realm.
So, how are you guys holding up without me? I'm doing fine in smash bros. Little Mac is still jumping off the sides like an idiot, and Shulk's counter is SO broken. I can't tell you how much I've gotten myself killed to that move. Oh, speaking of, we are all immune to death in this world.
In case you're wondering where Robin is: I've found him. He actually joined the tournament with me, Although he is pretty bad at these fights. Oh, and another thing, I've found, fought and beat the Hero King himself. Our fighting styles are so similar that we've been called "clones" of each-other. It looks like calling myself "Marth" the whole time was accurate!
Anyway, I hope you and Ylisse are holding up OK, and I will continue my trek in the Smash Bros. tournament. Luigi is going DOWN!
~Lucina
Selena: Birthright chapter 6 – alliance
In the plains of Hoshido, the two armies await Corrin's decision...
Corrin: Xander, withdraw your troops.
Xander: Don't tell me, Corrin. You're siding with Hoshido?
Corrin: I'm afraid so. I've made up my mind: I stand with Hoshido!
Selena: (EEEK! That is NOT how things were supposed to go! I need to think of something, fast!)
Get Xander to talk some sense into Corrin
Try to get Corrin into Nohr
Side with Hoshido, and persuade Corrin to go to Valla.
Selena: Odin, Laslow. The mission! We need to join Hoshido, otherwise we're out of luck.
Odin: Oh, right. I guess we should join Hoshido.
Laslow: It's not like I made any "friends" here in Nohr...
Selena: We are coming with. We kinda have something we need to show Corrin.
Laslow: Me too.
Odin: And my dark aura as well!
Elise: Since we having someone from each royal trinity going with Corrin, I guess I'll make up the numbers. Besides, Nohr's fighting style is way too brutal for my tastes.
Effie: Well, if you're sure about this, we'll follow you.
Arthur: In the name of justice, I will too!
Camilla: Oh my! People are turning traitor left, right and centre.
Selena: Yeesh. I just wanted to show Corrin something, not spark a revolution.
Laslow: You should stop complaining and try taking what you are given.
Selena: Whatever. You are all welcome to follow my path... Or something.
Ryoma: Do my eyes deceive me? Because I see a lot of Nohrians wanting to join us. Of course, strength in numbers is always good.
Takumi: I beg to differ but, annoyingly, I'm not the one giving orders.
Ryoma: You're sounding rather Nohrian yourself, brother.
Takumi: Grr...
Camilla: Well, it looks like I can have my Corrin and he can have his "true" family.
Leo: I don't think Garon will be able to do a lot without his entire army.
Selena: Wow. Short peace mission much?
Odin: Yes. About as short as Laslow's dates...
Laslow: Thanks... (Why am I so unconvincing?)
An ever increasing portion of the Nohrian army joins with Selena, and the Hoshidan army.
Scarlet: Conquest chapter 13 – Maximum betrayal!
In Cheve, Scarlet, Takumi and some Hoshidan soldiers challenge Corrin.
Scarlet: (Haha! Nohr is sending their entire army. We've got them on the ropes now. Hmm, what should we do?)
Fight, it's the perfect opportunity
Persuade them to join us, and Garon will have nothing
Surrender, we don't stand a chance
Scarlet: (confident) Don't fight us, as we have a better offer. You already know what Garon does to his people...
Elise: Hmm... He did treat Effie with some serious disrespect...
Camilla: And he's made Corrin unhappy all the time...
Corrin: And all the wrong he has done to Hoshido.
Scarlet: So, why not join us?
Corrin: Because I have to stay lo-
Takumi: You need not stay loyal to the bigots who captured and brainwashed you!
Corrin: But... I'd have to fight Xander and G-Garon.
Scarlet: So? They should be easy pickings if you're backed by the Hoshidan army!
Takumi: Admit it. Your choice was wrong. You don't belong in Nohr. I'm sure Sakura and Hinoka will at least try to forgive you.
Beruka: I must say, turning coat on Nohr does seem to be our most optimal strategy if we want to live.
Corrin: How would it be?
Beruka: If we turn coat now, we will have the armies of Hoshido and Nohr on our side. Thus, we will be able to make peace.
Corrin: Understood. If that is the case, I shall return to Hoshido with my brethren in tow.
Scarlet: Yahoo! This resistance movement couldn't be going smoother!
A/N: I like the fact that I'm getting suggestions from you people! It's good to be in such a great community.