Thanks for the reviews. This one is really short by my standards, but I felt like it was the right place to pause.

Chapter 24

Her breathing picked up, but they were both still frozen in time. He hadn't taken his hand off her neck and she still hadn't answered his question. They only stood against the door and stared at each other. Of course, she was too needy. She was ridiculous. Why in the hell did any of those beautiful men give her a second thought? Not Paul though, he could not do this to her. It was going to ruin everything, but she was a female and she wasn't blind; he was having an affect on her whether intentional or not.

Thank god, he opened his mouth ahead of her, before she royally screwed up their friendship, "I get it, hummingbird." He took his hand off her and stepped back.

She breathed a huge sigh of relief or was it disappointment? "I...I can't, it's too much."

"I know, but it's an option. You might not have realized that, so I wanted to be clear about it. Nothing has to change, I'm still going to be what you need." He laughed and pretended to rub his palm over her face to wipe away her expression, "Relax, Bella. It's just me. I'll catch you later," He moved his hand back to the doorknob. She wasn't standing against the door any longer.

"Wait, you're still leaving?"

"Yes, but not forever. I have somewhere I need to be." His plans were revealed when he didn't look her in the eye. That had changed between them. Paul no longer boasted about his conquests. He shielded her from it, maybe he was ashamed.

"Oh, okay...well, be safe." That was the dumbest thing she'd ever said to him and when she shut the door, she secretly hoped he'd strike out. She highly doubted that, but maybe the nameless, faceless woman would not get any satisfaction; that'd be justice. Even better, she wished her overly processed hair might fall out the next morning. Bella could have spent all night making a list of terrible events she hoped would happen to Paul's lady friend, but Charlie came home and said he was hungry. She made them some sandwiches. He and Billy were going out very early in the morning fishing and then they were watching football at another guy's house in the afternoon. Seth and Bella were getting together for the day. She wasn't sure what their plans were. She did, however, know she had to do something she'd been avoiding. She sent Jacob a text and asked him to meet her after school Monday to which he responded, "Sure thing, Bells."

Seth came over and had breakfast with Bella. She picked at her food, still feeling the stress from the day before and the day that lay ahead. She wasn't very good company for her new, exclusive boyfriend.

"Something wrong today, babe?" he finally asked between bites.

It was as good of time as any to at least bring up one of her problems.

"Seth, I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't be so free with your thoughts concerning me. I don't really want to give all the guys a peep show."

Seth dropped his fork loudly against the porcelain plate. At first he looked rather embarrassed, but then he got pretty irritated. "Let me guess, your buddy, Lahote?"

"Well, do you deny it?"

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to. I'm really trying to be better, but why in the hell did he think he had to say something? He just wants to embarrass you."

"No, I don't think that's the case." Paul actually seemed jealous, but she'd keep that to herself."

"As embarrassing as it is, I'll get some pointers from Leah if that'll make you feel any better?"

"Okay, whatever you need to do, Seth. I'm not mad at you, I'm just shy. You know that."

He sat there shaking his head, obviously still mad. She should be mad at him, but he was the one sulking. He got up to wash their dishes. His back was to her, so walked up and rubbed her hand across his shoulder.

"Seth, why are you so mad?"

"To tell you the truth, I'm still not too thrilled about you and Paul."

"You can't pick and choose my friends."

"I'm not trying to. I didn't say you couldn't see him, but I don't have to like it."

Bella thought the morning was shot to hell and they were supposed to spend the entire day together.

"I need a fridge," he announced.

"Okay, I'll go with you," maybe the change of scenery would do them good.

A few hours later, Bella and Seth were in much better moods and he was having a stove and a refrigerator delivered the next morning. Bella enjoyed browsing the kitchen idea center. She made suggestions to Seth. He kept saying, "Whatever you want or if you like that." He acted like it was up to her.

Ugh, Seth...she thought, it's way too soon, but then a tiny part of her thought they could have a simple life out there on the corner of the rez, which sounded pretty nice. She knew early on that's what he really wanted. Seth was the "white picket fence" kinda guy. She didn't think he exactly was the keep the missus "barefoot and pregnant" type, but he might be to a degree. She couldn't be certain and wasn't that an important thing to find out before getting so serious?

They had a much better afternoon than morning, but once they got snuggled up to watch a little TV, Seth wanted to take advantage of Charlie being gone. She wasn't as receptive as she was a few days ago and he didn't hide the fact that she was frustrating him.

"I thought you said, you'd wait and always be patient? I don't get it, I'm just not in the mood right now."

"Bella, that's the way it is with you. I never know what to expect: you pull me close, only to push me away. You turn me on and then shut me down. I'm sorry, but the mixed signals are getting confusing. I think I should go," he stood up to leave. He walked towards the door but ended up turning around to come back to her. He knelt down beside the couch and held his arms out to her. She held on tight to his shoulders. "Can we start over?" he asked. "Maybe, tomorrow after school?"

She pulled back so that she could see his face. She started chewing her lip, because she was going to have to tell him why they couldn't get together then. She had planned on telling him about Jacob later. Perhaps, telling him after the fact or in a text was how she thought she'd break the news. She was such a coward.

"Um, I can't, Seth. I'm meeting Jacob."

"What part of exclusive, only me and you, did you misinterpret?"

"It's not what you think, Seth. He and I need some closure. I can't keep ignoring what happened."

"Fine, get your closure, but if that isn't what happens; I'm done," the hardened expression on his face let her know, he meant it.

Seth was the second man in two days to tell her he was done with her. She was getting really good at being a shitty person.

He was there before her, but he was still sitting in his car. They went inside, before she had a chance to close the front door, he grabbed her and pulled her close.

"Bells, I've missed you so much. Do you have any idea how much I've missed you?"

She had missed him as well, but she had to stay focused to go through with what she had to do. Bella pulled away from his embrace. "Jake, can we sit and talk, please?"

"Of course," he took her hand and led her to the couch. Jacob was ready to talk, but Bella continued to sit there wringing her hands in her lap.

"You're still mad about Paul," he stated.

"Uh, yeah, a little. He's okay, in case you were concerned."

"I know, Bells. I've seen him since," she knew so much went on behind the scenes with the pack, but she thought they might have avoided each other longer.

"Oh," she chewed on her top lip for a change.

"What else? What do you need to say?"

She'd do her favor for Kim first and then she'd tell him what was truly on her mind.

"Jake, don't you think you're overstepping by telling Kim and Jared they can't have a baby. They're getting married on Valentine's Day, and she wants to try right away. I couldn't believe what she told me about that."

"No, absolutely not, Bells. No kids until we get to the bottom of imprinting. Do you honestly think it's fair to bring any children into this mess?"

"What if a child is the only thing that might fix it?" she shouldn't have asked that question, because there was no way to explain it. She'd sworn she would keep the secrets.

"Huh?"

"Nevermind."

"No offense, Bells. It's my pack, it doesn't concern you. I learned right off the bat Nadia couldn't be trusted when I found one of her pills in the bathroom sink. I would think you'd be happy I'm being responsible. "

"Well, I agree that it's a good idea...it's just, you're going about it the wrong way. You are a leader not a ruler."

"So, is this you asking me to lift an alpha order? Because I happen to know they're all fine with it, even Jared. He's not as gung ho as Kim is and I get what you're saying, she probably would never manipulate him like the others, but the answer is NO!"

"Why does everything have to be so cut and dry with you?"

"Are we still talking about the alpha order or something else?"

Enough stalling, she needed to blurt it out or she was going to back out. "Jake, I can't see you anymore. We tried, and failed. I can't do it any longer, it hurts too much."

A look of shock overcame him, "Bells, come on...I know I've said it tons of times, it's fucked up, but please don't cut me completely out of your life."

"I have to Jacob. I know you're suffering and everything you're doing is so we can be together, but you should focus on yourself. Break the imprint so you can be free from her, not just so you can be with me."

"I was doing that already."

"Not like you are now, though and I can't take seeing you that way again Jacob. We hurt each other, not on purpose, but look what happened.""

"That's because she' s a sociopath and she's desperate to hang on. She knows she's losing me. She is, you know. I stayed gone 5 days last time." Apparently, it was a huge deal when he missed seeing her for days, but Bella concentrated on what went on at their reunions. Those were the things that hurt her the most.

"I've made up my mind and for once, I'm sticking to it."

"Is this about Seth or god...I can't believe I have to ask this, Lahote?"

"Yes and no, and why are you asking about Paul? He's my friend and of course, everyone has been telling me from the start not to be with you. I never listened to any of them. This is about me finally coming to the conclusion that I'm not strong enough to do what you're asking. I can't wait for you, they'll be nothing left if I do."

"Bella, I love you," he brushed his free hand down her cheek and made sure she was looking in his eyes.

"I love you so much Jacob. You're right, I should have never moved. Imagine what it would have been like if we'd been together all these years, but it didn't happen that way and we can't go back. I have to ask if you love me enough to let me go?"

"I'd do anything for you, I'd jump off a building if you asked me to."

"Well, I would never ask something like that Jake."

"Yeah, but it's the same result either way. I'm broken apart inside. Can I still call sometimes or text you?"

"That's not a good idea," she looked away when she said those words. The calls and texts would draw her back in.

"What about Christmas? I made you something, do you not want it?"

"Um, I have something for you too. Maybe we could see each briefly in a few weeks after we've had some time to process this. I still want you to have what I got you and I can't believe you made me something. I know I'll treasure it."

"I'm sure you'll be at Sue's Christmas Eve, she invited me to stop by, so I'll see you then I guess."

"Okay," That was almost 2 full weeks away, she should be fine seeing him for a few minutes while everyone else was around.

It was time for him to leave, she couldn't sit with him much longer. It was too hard to look in his eyes. They were starting to glaze over and she hadn't even try to hide the tears that had fallen down her cheeks. She wished they'd had a chance, so many times she believed they did because she loved him so much.

"Bells, I have to know. What if...?"

She already knew what he was about to say, "I can't answer that because I don't know, it depends on how far in the future it is." She was wondering if that was an accurate statement. If had been 5 days, 5 months or 5 years; she knew if he broke the imprint, it would difficult to tell him "no".

"Well, I'll take that as a maybe."

He squeezed her hand again and helped her up with him. She had honestly expected him to put up more of a fuss, but he didn't. He had been very calm and understanding which made her want to throw her arms around him and kiss him senseless. If this was them ending things, she wanted to experience a good bye kiss. She wouldn't ask for it though, because Seth had told her she constantly sent mixed signals. This would not be one of those times.

They walked to the door and he put his strong arms around her. She pulled herself as close as she could get. He put her face in his hands and leaned down to kiss her lips. She didn't have to ask, he needed the goodbye kiss as well. She melted into it same as always, and he lifted her off the ground. If only, their lives could be as easy as their kisses. Jake held onto her and she felt so safe and protected, like that was the only place on earth she belonged. Eventually, he sat her back on her own two feet, which were never quite that stable, but she was going to have to learn how to be secure on her own.

"Goodbye, Bells,"

"Goodbye, Jake."

He walked to his car and she watched him out the window, just like that first day he'd picked her up from the airport. It was deja vu, she'd been waiting for the moment she'd see him again that afternoon and even though she had just told him "goodbye", she still felt exactly like she had on that first day.

~TBH, I'm bummed. Who else is? This fic isn't by any means close to being done. When I started it and planned for 25 chapters, I was as deluded as Paul thinking that any woman that touches his face, wants the D. Maybe, in his case, he's right; but that's a stretch. LOL!