CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE
"What's going on?" Bonnie asked, walking over beside Damon.
Her mother was standing in the doorway still, a toddler boy holding her hand with his gloved on.
"Your father invited her." Damon replied, his hand still holding tightly onto to the doorknob.
He knew for a fact Bonnie was not going to be okay with this. Bonnie didn't often get upset, but out of all the times she had gotten upset, the most upset she had even gotten was when her mother showed up unannounced. Granted, this time was different; but Bonnie was growing tired of secrets.
"You invited Abby without asking, or telling me?" she turned around to look at Rudy.
Bonnie could have understood if he had invited her to some big event, but not their holiday vacation. If she had been comfortable with Abby being there, she would have invited her herself.
"I know, I shouldn't have but, she's your mother." Rudy said standing up slowly, with a regretful look on his face.
Swallowing hard, she was filling to the brim with things she wanted to say right then and there. However, as her eyes flickered around to everyone in the room, Bonnie knew this conversation she needed to have with her father, needed to be in private.
"Abby, come in for a few minutes, I need to have a talk with my father." she said and started walking towards the left side of the cabin.
Rudy followed her down the hall and into her room, closing the door behind him.
"Look, I know you're upset..." he started, but she quickly interrupted him.
"No, I am not just upset, I am pissed." Bonnie folded her arms, "You went behind my back and invited Abby."
Rudy furrowed his brow, "I'm sorry, Bonnie, I just wanted you two to bond, she wants to be a part of your life."
"I know that, dad." she shook her head, "You think I don't know? But it is my choice to see her, to bond with her. I am not okay with you inviting her without talking to me first."
Bonnie had spent so long over looking the faults in her family, she's spent so long just being happy that she had a family at all. The truth was, people mistreated her, people lied to her, people did things behind her back. Abby had abandoned her, her father was never around, Giuseppe had tried to kill her, and yet again, she was being blind sided by something.
"I don't want to fight with you, all I did was invite her, you can tell her to leave." he said with a sigh, looking at her as though she was overreacting.
"I shouldn't have to tell her to leave! You're the one who invited her." Bonnie stepped closer to him unfolding her arms. She had a lot to say, and maybe what happened next was due to her emotions building up, but she never regretted saying any of it. Sometimes things have to get worse before than can get better.
"You are always gone, I hardly see you, you hardly make time to call me; and, I thought I was okay with it." she took a breath, "I understand that you're on tour, you're a busy man, dad. After mom left, I was just thankful that you were here at all; but, I'm not anymore."
Rudy just looked at her, his face grower sadder.
"I am tired of people not working to make time for me." Bonnie's eyes filled with tears, because she knew what she was going to say wasn't going to be easy, and it was going to seem harsh, but she wanted the new year, to be a new stage of her life. Things needed to change, even if the old ways were once comfortable. Bonnie was choosing to change things.
"I don't want to see you until after your current tour, until you are available and ready to prove to me that you want to me a part of my life. You haven't been a big part of my life in a long time, too long." she swallowed hard.
Her father nodded slowly, "I understand. I guess I lost site of everything after Abby left, I haven't paid attention to you like I should. I'm sorry."
"I know you are. But, you not being here for me, you inviting Abby isn't the only reason I am upset." Bonnie inhaled, "You already knew Abby has a child, if that's her child, and a family. You knew where she was long before this year, did you?"
Rudy hesitated.
"Don't lie to me." she said her voice cracking, her tears struggling to stay along her lash
"I did know. I had known where she was for a few years, I didn't know about her son until a year ago." he told her, and watched several tears drip from her eyes and run down her cheeks.
Bonnie nodded slowly, taking a breath.
"I want you to leave after dinner." she said, her throat feeling dry.
Rudy was disappointed, though he knew he had messed up, and it wasn't his place to disagree with her.
"Okay..." he spoke slowly, "I'm sorry. I love you."
Bonnie's eyes flickered away from him, "I love you too."
Rudy turned around, opened the door and walked out of the room. When he entered the main room, Damon was leaning against the back of the chair Caroline was sitting in. Their eyes met, and Damon knew he needed to go talk with Bonnie.
He headed down the hallway. When he walked into the bedroom Bonnie was sitting on the bed, leaning against the headboard with her knee's pulled up to her chest. Damon closed the door behind him.
"Are you okay?" he asked, but then followed up, "That was a stupid question... Don't answer."
Damon sat down beside her, noticing the dampness of her face, and his heart sunk in his chest.
"You can tell me what happened if you want, but, you don't have to." he told her, placing his hands in his lap.
Bonnie inhaled, "No.. I want to." when she exhaled shakily, more tears ran down her cheeks.
"I told my dad, I don't want to see him until after his tour, when he can actually be in my life. I don't feel like he's been trying the last, countless years of my life, he's never really put much of an effort in." she explained, looking down at her hands.
Damon's forehead creased.
"I appreciated him being here even though it is hardly enough, because I have always felt like Ihad too." Bonnie's eyes flickered up to Damon, "After Abby left."
He watched her tears grow heavier, and he quickly wrapped an arm around her, pulling Bonnie against his chest.
"You don't have to settle, you're allowed to want more from people." he assured her, listening to her sniffles.
"I know." Bonnie's breath caught in her throat with a small sob, even as she tried to stay calm, "Ironically enough, now Abby wants to be in my life, she's making an effort."
Damon nodded, brushing some of her hair that had gotten damp out of her face.
"Which...is why I'm going to try and let Abby back into my life." she took a much deeper breath, "She's trying, and that's more than I can say about other people."
"Whatever you think is best, I support you." he leaned down a bit, pressing his lips to her temple, and wiping away her tears with his fingers.
Bonnie chuckle, "You're almost too supportive."
"Don't worry. I'll put you in your place if need be." Damon teased, but, she knew he was somewhat serious. Damon would let her know if she wasn't thinking clearly, or was making a decision he didn't agree with. Just like she would do the same for him.
"Thank you." she whispered, and nuzzled her face against his shoulder.
Bonnie wished they were alone, at their own home, where they didn't have to face another person for at least a week; but, it was Christmas after all, and she didn't want to spend the entire day feeling sad.
"I'll be out there soon, I just need some time by myself." Bonnie told him.
Damon kissed her head again and slid off the bed, making his way out of the room. He was not happy with the situation, and had half the mind to say a few things to Rudy himself, however, he sure what Bonnie had said was more than enough. There was no reason to make the tension in the room heavier.
"Bonnie will be out soon." he told everyone who was casually watching the television, and trying to pretend like this wasn't super awkward.
Abby still wasn't sure if she was going to be allowed to stay, but she'd taken of her, and her sons outerwear, and the little guy was wiggling his way off the couch.
"What's his name?" Caroline asked after a second.
"Maddox." Abby replied with a small smile, "He's two."
Maddox kicked his legs until his feet finally touched the floor and then turned around to look curiously around.
Damon stood several feet back from the seats, eyes flickering over to Maddox. Maddox's green eyes met his, and a smile spread across the little boys face.
Damon chuckled. If anything was going to break the tension, it was a giggling toddler. Maddox was adorable as hell. His skin was a color or two lighter than Bonnie's, his hair in medium brown curls on his head, and his chubby little face.
Maddox reached over pulling at Abby's pant leg, and pointed a finger out at Damon.
"That's Damon." Abby said leaning forward a little, "He's married to your sister. He's your brother-in-law, do you remember brother-in-law?"
"Broffer law." Maddox repeated, and then proceeded to hide his face with his hands.
"I'm going to continue with the food." Caroline announced, while getting up to go into the kitchen.
Abby stood up as well, "Rudy, I was wondering if we could talk?"
Rudy nodded, "Of course."
Abby reached a hand down and touched Maddox's hair.
"Do you mind keeping an eye on him for a minute?" she asked Damon.
"Of course not." Damon replied, and within minutes the only ones left in the main room were Stefan, Damon and Maddox.
Damon walked over, sitting on the couch across the Stefan.
"How're you doing?" Stefan asked his brother.
"Honestly, like I want a drink." he replied with a sigh.
He was doing his best to hold it together for Bonnie, but the truth was, he had been fighting the urge the last twenty minutes. Being sober was not as easy as he made it seem, even with his wife's support.
"Do you plan on going to another meeting soon?" he questioned.
Damon pursed his lips, "I want to. I should. Probably after the new years."
"Alright, I just, don't want you to hit rock bottom again." Stefan furrowed his brow, "'I'm here for you. Bonnie is too, you should talk to her."
He nodded and raked his fingers through his hair.
"I will, but, right now she's dealing with enough." Damon's eyes flickered down to Maddox who was tapping his hands on his knee slowly.
He chuckled, "What are you doing?"
Damon grabbed the boy and pulled him up into his lap. Maddox whined a little bit, nervous.
"Hey." he said quietly, "It's okay, kid."
Stefan snorted, "You're be a great dad."
"Shut it." Damon glared at him for a second.
Maddox furrowed his brow and tried to wiggle out of Damon's arms, "Mama."
"She'll be back." he assured the boy.
Damon hadn't spent much time around kids, his home life, work life, wasn't centered around children, or anyone who had not yet learnt sticking your whole fist into your mouth wasn't appropriate. Maddox had not yet gotten this memo.
"What in the world are you doing?" Damon chuckled, and pulled the boys saliva covered fist out of his mouth.
Maddox didn't appreciate this, and he started to try, pressing his spit covered hand to Damon's face frustratedly.
"Woah, I'm sorry." he said quickly, and started to bounce him, "You can eat your fist any time you want. You can even eat my fist if you want."
Damon smirked and lifted his knuckles up to Maddox who leaned in. Damon regretted this when several surprisingly sharp teeth bit into his hand. He cringed, and Stefan snickered at him just as Bonnie entered the room, looking more composed. Her eyes met Damon's and then she looked around for Abby who had just walked back over with Rudy.
"Hey." Bonnie to to Abby as she stepped over, folding her arms across her chest.
"I'm sorry, I had no idea he hadn't spoken to you at all." Abby sighed.
Bonnie shook her head, "I don't want to talk about that... I just want to let you know, you're welcome to stay, you and your son."
"Thank you." her mother smiled, "Would it be alright if my fiance came?"
"I don't think I'm ready for that just yet." she replied, and Abby nodded understandingly.
After a moment Caroline walked back out and tapped Damon on the shoulder.
"You're up." she told him, pointing her thumb at the kitchen.
Damon placed Maddox on the couch and stood up, walking for the kitchen.
"Mind if I help, Damon?" Abby asked.
"Uh, sure you can help." he said after hesitating for a moment.
He had never really talked to Abby before, and most of what he knew about her had come from Bonnie. Which meant that he knew how hurt Bonnie was, and how Abby had left them without a goodbye. Damon wasn't her biggest fan to say the least.
They both walked into the kitchen, and he worked on stirring several pots on the stove.
"Can I ask you a question?" Damon looked over at Abby as she leaned against the counter.
"Of course." she smiled just a bit.
"Why didn't you show up when Bonnie was in the coma, why later?" he asked her slowly.
Abby sighed, standing up straighter, "I wasn't sure if her life would be better with me in it. I was worried, but, I was also worried she'd never forgive me."
"But, you obviously changed your mind on that." Damon noted.
"I didn't change my mind on it... I was still worried, I still am worried Bonnie will never be comfortable around me. I just decided knowing that I at least tried was better than nothing." she explained, and Damon nodded. He could understand this notion. His own mother hadn't treated him very well, but, she was trying to be in his life more.
He suddenly felt especially guilty about not inviting Lily up north with them.
"I can respect that." Damon said looking up at her from the stove, "I just don't want you hurting her again, she's been through enough."
Abby's eyes softened and she nodded.
"I don't want her getting hurt either..." she smiled just a bit, " I wasn't sure about you, because, and no offense, your family doesn't have the kindness reputation... However, Damon, you seem like a good man. I trust you."
Damon's face warmed a little.
"Thank you... I don't know if I trust you yet, though." he admitted, and she shrugged.
"I wouldn't expect anything less... Now, what can I help with?" she asked, and he looked back towards the food.
Meanwhile, Bonnie, Caroline, Rudy, Stefan and Maddox were all sitting in the livingroom. Rudy was all eyes on the TV, and Stefan was all eyes on Caroline. Maddox was meandering around the table, occasionally stopping to stare wide eyed at the television.
Bonnie was just quiet, still trying to feel something other than betrayal from her own family. She felt kind of numb, but, that's usually how she felt after crying. It took a few moments for her to let some positive emotions back in.
Her phone buzzed, and she pulled it out, seeing a text from Caroline who was sitting across from her.
Caroline: Sorry about your dad pulling that shit.
Bonnie looked up a bit, and the blond gave her a sympathetic smile.
Bonnie: Yeah me too. Someone could've at least told me, told me I have a little brother.
Caroline: Too late now...
She chuckled lowly and rolled her eyes, her phone buzzing again.
Caroline:Love you
Bonnie:I love you too Care
Bonnie set her phone down, her eyes flickering over to her brother. She didn't know his name, she didn't know who he was, she didn't even know he had excised until twenty minutes before. Her chest hurt, and honestly part of her wanted nothing to do with him. However, Bonnie knew the little boy had nothing to do with her parents mess.
"His name's Maddox." Caroline told her, noticing that Bonnie was looking at him.
"Oh, okay." Bonnie said quietly, and bit at her lip.
She eyed the boy for a second.
"Maddox." she said slowly, and his eyes that mirrored the color of both her's and her mothers flickered over to hers.
"Come here." Bonnie said motioning him, and he wobbled over a little anxious looking.
She held her hands out for him so she could pick him up. Maddox gave her a twice over before grabbing her thumbs with his small hands. Bonnie slid her hands underneath his arms and pulled him up into her lap.
"Hi." she whispered.
Looking at Maddox up close, he really was cute, and made her lips turn up at the edges. As if her yearning for children wasn't enough already, he was a beautiful combination of Abby and whoever her fiance was.
"I'm Bonnie, your sister." she told him, and he pouted out his lips as he processed this.
"Bon-Bon Bonnie." Maddox grinned, enjoying the way her name sounded to his young ears.
She smiled back at him.
"How old are you Maddox?" Bonnie asked him, touching the front of his shirt.
"Two!" he said, holding up three fingers.
Bonnie chuckled, "Is that so?"
He nodded and then shoved his fingers into his mouth, leaning his head up against her shoulder.
She looked down at him, feeling a little strange. Having a toddler brother out of no where wasn't the most normal thing, and it was a little painful. Abby had abandoned her, and had a new family with someone else. Maddox would get to grow up with his mother there, Bonnie lost her before she was even a teenager.
Bonnie tried to shake this out of her head, and decided to just focus on Christmas.
Later that day, dinner was finally ready and they all sat at the long table eating. It was still a quiet dinner, but occasionally someone brought up a topic that got them talking for a few minutes.
"Do you remember when Grams made me that sled?" Bonnie asked across the table towards her parents who were sitting side by side for the first time in thirteen years.
Abby smiled a bit, "Yeah, she spent about a month making it, and you lost it on day two."
Bonnie chuckled taking a bite of ham.
"She didn't actually lose it." Rudy told them, and Abby raised an eyebrow.
"I ran off, sledding down by the lake where I was told not too." Bonnie explained, "Dad came after me, I was fine by the sled sank into the lake."
"I knew something was sketchy about that story." Abby shook her head.
Damon looked at them with a smile from his place beside Bonnie. It was nice, hearing good stories from Bonnie's childhood. He didn't have to many happy stories, but he planned on making new ones with Bonnie.
"I broke my hand once sledding." Caroline chimed in with a mouth full of food.
"You never told me that." Bonnie looked at her curiously.
She nodded, swallowing, "It was when I was twelve. I hit my hand on a tree."
Stefan tried to hide his small snicker, but Caroline heard it just faintly and kicked his shin underneath the table.
"Shhii.." Stefan mumbled, and quickly placed his hand against his mouth casually and tried to pretend he was just paying attention to his food.
Maddox was sitting in a booster seat, shoving handfuls of cut up food into his mouth, happily oblivious to everyone around him.
Soon after dinner it was time for Rudy to leave. Bonnie had followed him out onto the snowy porch in just one one her thick sweaters to say goodbye.
"Goodbye, Bonnie." he said, extending an arm out for a hug.
Bonnie leaned in, giving him a small squeeze before pulling back.
"I hope I can prove I want to be a bigger part of yoru life." Rudy told her, holding his car keys in his left hand.
"I want to give you a chance, like with Abby, but, I can't until you're available to actually be in my life." Bonnie reminded him, pulling her sweater closed tighter as a breeze ruffled her hair.
Rudy nodded, "I know..."
They just stood there for a moment, before he leaned over, and kissed her forehead. He turned around, heading for his car and moments later Bonnie watched him driveway until she was left in the darkness of the evening. Bonnie just stood there, thinking.
It would be several months before she'd get to see her father again. Had she made the right decision? Bonnie realized that she could always change her mind later on, but, in that moment, she did feel like she'd made a good choice for her life, for everyone's life. It wasn't just her she wanted Rudy to make time for, it was Damon as well; but, just because it was the right choice didn't mean it didn't hurt.
The front door opened, Caroline standing in the frame, watching Bonnie stare out into the night.
"We're all going to have cocoa, if you want to come back inside." she said tilting her head to the side.
Bonnie inhaled slowly, and turned around, "Yeah, I'm coming."
Once inside, everyone sat around the coffee table with their mugs of cocoa. Maddox had a sippy cup filled with warm cocoa, that he was carrying around with him as he explored the living room.
"Hey, hey." Damon rushed over to scoop him up off the ground before he could knock the tree over.
Abby chuckled, "Yeah, kids under four are not good with Christmas tree's.
Damon carried Maddox back over to the couch as he grumbled.
"I'll remember that." Bonnie smiled just a little as Damon sat back down beside her.
Maddox stood on Damon's lap, refusing to sit down, sitting his cup on top of Damon's head.
Bonnie watched as her husband played with Maddox, poking his cheek and tickling his stomach. The boy eventually sat down but tossed his sippy cup to the side so he could put both of his hands on Damon's face.
"What's your full name Maddox?" Damon asked him, and the boy looked confused for a moment.
"Maddox Zander Michaelson." Abby replied with a chuckle as she sipped her cocoa.
Damon smiled, "Cool name bud."
Maddox giggled, "Demon." he said placing his hand over Damon's nose.
"Damon." he chuckled, amused.
"Day-emon." the boy said slowly.
Bonnie smirked, reaching a hand over and rubbing her little brothers back softly. Damon was so good with the toddler. She remembered the conversation they had when they had first gotten married. Bonnie had told him she wanted children, Damon said he never thought about it much, but wanted them too.
Maybe it was just the bundle of cuteness sitting on her husbands lap, but, her dream of having a child was growing larger. Bonnie felt like it was way too soon to even mention having children, or plan to have children yet though. Their five month anniversary had been a few days before. Five months seemed like a long yet short amount of time.
Bonnie realized she was struggling with their relationship more than she wanted to admit. She loved Damon, more than anything, but this is part of what worried her. They hadn't been together very long, they'd gotten married before dating, they fell in love after getting married. It was all backwards, upside down, and frightening. She didn't want them to move so quickly that Damon grew bored of her after a while, or they fell distant. Bonnie was worried if they had a child too soon, before they had been in love long enough, they wouldn't be as strong as other couples.
She shook her head a little, surprised by the sudden influx of anxious thoughts in her head. If she didn't think about something else, she felt like she was going to have a panic attack.
"Anyone done yet?" Caroline asked, getting up to take her mug to the kitchen.
"I'll help you wash dishes." Stefan offered, following her into the kitchen.
He was a little buzzed from several glasses of wine, and was feeling pretty happy despite the awkward scene from earlier that day. He still hadn't really spoken to Abby and was unsure of what to say. What do you say to family you know nothing about? Bonnie had told Damon about her mother, but Stefan was clueless other than the fact that Abby abandoned her.
"You're not smooth." the blond told him as she set her mug on the counter, turning the hot water knob on the sink.
Stefan smiled, leaning against the counter.
"I have no idea what you're talking about." he insisted.
Caroline looked over at Stefan, his light green eyes pouring into her face. Honestly, she was tired of taking things slow with him. It was obvious he was into her, and she had several things she wanted to do to him right there in that kitchen if it wasn't for everyone sitting in the main room.
However, she wasn't so sure she wanted something serious. Matt had been all the serious she needed for a while.
Caroline stepped closer to him, biting at her lower lip.
"You know how, you said when I want you to kiss me, to tell you?" she asked him, and his eyes lit up.
"Mhm." Stefan replied, his lips turning up at the corners.
Caroline smiled back at him, "Before I ask... I need to tell you, I don't really know if I want something serious right now. If we this goes somewhere, I don't want you to get hurt."
"Don't want anything serious, huh?" he asked, tilting his head to the side.
"I just got out of the longest relationship of my life. I need something different, something fun..." she told him as her moved even closer, making her heart beat harder in her chest.
He placed his hand on her waist, pulled her even closer.
"Do you want something fun with me?" Stefan asked her quietly.
"I do." Caroline whispered, and their faces grew closer.
His lips touched hers, and she was kissing him back. Their kiss was easy, warm, soft. It wasn't like her kisses with Matt. Caroline didn't feel like she was trying to hard, or he wasn't trying enough. Stefan kissed her deeper, the grip on her waist tightening.
Unfortunately, Caroline remembered she had turned the water on. She pulled away quickly, breathing a little heavily.
"The water." she gasped and quickly reached over to turn it off just as it was almost to the top of the sink.
Stefan chuckled, and Caroline blushed as she looked back over at him.
...
"Do you think I was too harsh on my dad?" Bonnie asked later that night as she lay beside Damon in bed.
The room was dark, cool, covers laying over them, as the moonlight just barely made a glow through the curtains.
Damon opened his eyes, already almost half asleep and turned his head towards her.
"I don't." he replied quietly, looking over at the clock across the room.
It was almost midnight, they'd been in bed for at least fifteen minutes.
"Sorry if I woke you up." she frowned, rolling over onto her side.
He chuckled lowly, and reached a hand out to run the back of his knuckles along her arm.
"It's fine, you have a lot on your mind." Damon told her, closing his eyes again, feeling goosebumps form on her soft skin.
Bonnie scooted closer and laid her head onto his t-shirt covered shoulder.
"This whole situation is strange, and a little painful." she admitted, closing her eyes as well, just talking to him in the silence of the night.
He wrapped his arm around her, held her against him.
"I know, baby." Damon turned his head, his nose pressing against her hair, "If it makes you feel any better, I feel bad about not inviting my mother here."
Bonnie chuckled sleepily, "It doesn't, but, I've actually been feeling bad about that too."
"We're one in the same aren't we?" he teased, bringing his other hand over to caress her curls.
"Complicated family." she replied, "Yet, we love them."
Damon opened his eyes slowly, and slid his fingers over, gently tilting her face up by her chin. He pressed his lips against hers, and was greeted with a soft kiss in return from unturned lips.
"That we do." he smiled back and watched her green eyes glimmer at him.
After a moment, Bonnie bit at her lip, trying to decide if she should bring what else was on her mind up.
"So, Maddox is cute huh?" she asked, and Damon nodded, knowing there was something else on her mind that she was just trying to take a detour too.
"He is." Damon leaned his head back against the pillow.
Bonnie sighed, "I know this isn't the best time to bring this up, we just got over our fight, and everything with Giuseppe just ended..." she trailed off.
"What is it?" he asked, brushing a lock of her hair behind her ear.
"I want a baby." she told him quietly, "It doesn't have to be right now, or even a year from now, but, I want to have a baby with you, Damon. I need to know you feel the same way."
He licked at his lips for a moment, and then slid is hand down to caress her cheek.
"I want to have a baby with you too, Bon." Damon assured her, "I've never wanted to have a child with anyone, but with you, I do."
"I'm just worried... I mean, we haven't been together very long what if I get pregnant soon, or, what if..." Bonnie started, but Damon cut her off by gently running his thumb along her lips.
He looked into her eyes, "It doesn't matter if you get pregnant a week from now, a year from now, ten years from now. I will be happy."
"Really? You'd be happy if I was pregnant a week from now?" she gave him a doubtful look, raising her eyebrow, pursing her lips.
"Alright, so, I might be a little anxious if that happened, but, I would still love you." Damon chuckled.
She smiled, feeling some of the weight on her shoulders lift.
"I will always love you, Bonnie." he assured her, closing his eyes, nuzzling his head against her shoulder.
Bonnie relaxed into his arms, and once again, she was happy with the choices she had made... Letting her mother stay, telling her father how she really felt, having sex with Damon, kissing Damon in the rain, not kissing Enzo, loving Damon, marrying Damon.
All the way back, to sitting in his booth those months before.
"I will always love you, too."
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