Title: This is How We Fall Apart

Author: PandaPjays

Beta-Reader: Kishazi

Warnings: See Chapter 1

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Author Notes: Happy Holidays/New Year/Special Occasions I missed in my break. I hope you all had good ones. After way too much food and way too much running around like a crazy person, I've finally gotten back into the swing of things so hopefully writing/updates will get back to being semi-regular. Hopefully.

Also, ScottishFanGirl, I disagree with you.

When I showed up at Tala's training session I was met with stony silence. Tala had obviously informed his team that I was coming but they didn't seem happy about it. Spencer looked like he wanted to murder someone and Ian... well with Ian it was hard to tell. Judging by the way he was viciously putting together a beyblade with all of his tools scattered around him I guessed that he wasn't thrilled.

Kai simply appraised me before turning his attention back to where his beyblade spun, perfectly in the centre of the huge dish that dominated the training room. He wasn't hostile but he definitely wasn't interested.

The only one who looked happy to see me was Tala. When I'd walked into the room his face had lit up. It hadn't quite broken into a huge grin— the Abbey took that capacity away from all of its inhabitants— but it was close. Tala walked over to me. "Bry! You made it!"

I folded my arms, uncomfortable. "...Yeah," I said, looking away. I had seriously debated not coming. I hadn't wanted to come to a session where I wasn't welcome. I hadn't wanted to see the people who'd rejected me for the past year. I had just wanted to curl up and never think again.

I hadn't slept at all the night before. I kept seeing the blond kid who had reminded me of Tala. I kept seeing the weakling I'd killed without a second thought. I'd kept seeing the glazed sheen that was in all of the remaining boy's eyes as I loaded them back into the van. They'd left something behind and there was no way to get it back. I knew that because I'd lost it as well in a very similar place.

Falborg had kept trying to turn my thoughts to other things, tried to help get my mind of it and to let me get some sleep. But that hadn't helped. I'd only felt his anger. His anger that doing as Balcov had asked had hurt me so much, his anger that I didn't see the logic in taking to weak out of the world so the strong could survive. His anger at his very existence. I couldn't help but feel his simmering rage, so every time he tried to comfort me I had shied away, leading him to eventually give up and close our connection. I was grateful.

Now Tala looked at me like he expected something. I looked back at him dumbly, unsure what he wanted. He had been the one to invite me to this merry session, he could work out what to do with me.

Seeming to come to a decision, Tala held out his hand. "Give me your blade," he ordered in what I would come to know as his Captain's voice.

Wordlessly, I did as he asked. He looked at Falborg critically for a second before turning around. "Ian— Over here." He barked. Ian sighed and put down the beyblade he was tinkering with with a bang. He got up and jumped nimbly over the assorted pile of spare parts and tools he'd nested in. "What do you think?" Tala asked, handing him the blade.

I didn't know what to make of this. It felt... wrong. It felt wrong to surrender over my only friend to people that would not have spoken to me— still wouldn't speak to me— before this morning. And yet I could see what Tala was doing so I said nothing.

Ian appraised Falborg with a professional eye before glancing up at me. He looked away again and addressed the wall a few centimetres to my left. "It looks exactly like it did the last time I saw it. Except with a bitchip." He began to pull the blade apart, struggling with how stiff all of the parts had become. Forgetting that he didn't want to speak to me, Ian looked up, exasperated. "Bry, have you done any maintenance at all? Did you modify it to adjust for your new power? Anything?"

I looked down and shoved my hands in my pockets sheepishly. "I... didn't know I had to and didn't know how besides," I said defensively.

Ian rolled his eyes at me. "You're hopeless," he said before looking back down at Falborg. "I'll clean him up for you today then get Tala to put you through your paces so I can get a better idea of what I need to do with your new blade design." He pivoted and made his way to his work area, ignoring Tala's raised eyebrow and my bemused look.

"So apparently Ian's got our practice session mapped out," Tala said, amused. "And here I thought I was the one in charge..."

A flash of light and sudden heat drew my attention to the large beydish dominating the centre of the room. The one where Kai had been watching his beyblade spin. Kai was now sprawled on the ground and was sitting up, grimacing. He didn't look surprised, only annoyed.

Tala sighed what sounded like a long-suffering and long-practiced sigh. "What happened?" he asked as he walked over to Kai, glancing at the beydish where Kai's beyblade sat, innocuously on its side.

"Lost control when I called Dranzer," Kai explained.

"Again?"

"I thought if I let her lose some momentum before I called her it wouldn't be quite so strong..."

I felt more than saw Spencer's presence behind me. It took everything in me not to glance backwards. Instead, I folded my arms and continued to look in Tala and Kai's general direction. "Spencer." I said levelly, hoping that my apparently unruffled state would put him off.

"I don't know what Tala's doing. You shouldn't be here."

My lip curled into a snarl. Spencer had done his best to keep me away from Tala and his team. "What are you going to do about it?" I asked, turning on him, feeling the violence rising inside of me. Spencer had forced me away from all of this.

"...Nothing," he said reluctantly.

I blinked, surprised. I don't know what I had been expecting. A blow, a not-so-cryptic warning, an invitation to meet him somewhere out of Tala's sight. "What?"

"I trust Tala," he paused before looking directly at me, his eyes burning into mine. "But not you. I will never trust you."

"Piss off," I said, trying not to revel in his glorious impotence. It seemed that Tala had them all on a tight leash.

Speak of the devil— Our conversation was interrupted by Tala walking over to us. He left a disgruntled Kai behind him, staring at his blade with fixed concentration.

"Spence, can you have a practice match with Kai?" Tala asked. "Focus on defence. Kai's going to try to summon Dranzer without killing himself."

Spencer nodded and began walking over to the opposite side of the Beydish across from Kai.

"Kai has a bitbeast?" I asked, keeping my interest deliberately casual. Though Falborg had been mine for a year I had never seen even a hint that anyone else had been given a bitbeast. Especially not Kai.

Tala looked at me with surprise. "We all have them." He smiled at my expression. "Things have changed, Bryan."

I thought about the way Tala had beaten me the day before, the new power that had taken me by surprise. "I believe you."

He looked at me with an unreadable expression. "Battle with me." He pulled out his beyblade and held it in his hand. He indicated toward Spencer and Kai "After them. Battle me. Ian should be done by now and he said that he needed to see you in action with—"

"—Falborg," I supplied.

"Falborg," Tala said slowly, committing it to memory. "Mine's Wolborg." He walked over to Ian and I turned my attention back to the beydish where Spencer and Kai were battling.

Following Tala's orders, Spencer was playing purely defensively. He had taken over the centre of the dish and was coolly deflecting Kai's attacks. I blinked as the image of a large whale hovering above his beyblade flickered into existence and away again. I shook my head to clear it and looked again. Sure enough, there was a whale. But not in a real, physical sense. It was an imprint. Something that you could only see when you looked in a certain way. Like a flash in my peripheral vision that disappeared whenever I tried to look at it directly. But it was definitely there.

"You can't defeat me until you call Dranzer," Spencer called to Kai. "You know that as well as I do."

I felt Tala come to stand beside me but didn't look at him. I was too engrossed in Spencer's and Kai's match.

Kai's eyes narrowed and his beyblade erupted into flames.

"What the—" I took a step backward, away from the dish. I had experimented with blading with Falborg but nothing like that had ever happened.

Spencer's face remained calm as Kai's beyblade, surrounded by leaping flames, attacked his again. Again, I got the impression of a whale hovering above his blade and again Kai's attack was deflected.

Kai growled with frustration and gestured at the beydish. "Dranzer!" he called.

The air seemed to explode.

I ducked instinctively as a wave of hot air tore at my clothes. As it subsided, I looked up to see Kai knocked off his feet and Spencer crouching low to the ground.

Kai swore loudly as he pulled himself to his feet.

I looked over at Tala. His face held an expression of extreme annoyance rather than the shock that I'm sure was on my face. "What just happened?" I asked.

"Kai lost control of Dranzer when he tried to summon her."

"But I saw— there were flames," I said, trying to make sense of the whole thing.

"Weak flames. He can use some of his bitbeast's abilities but only in a limited way while she's still in her bitchip. He needs to be able to summon Dranzer properly before he can use her true power." Tala paused and looked at me with a small smile. "But that doesn't matter."

"It doesn't?"

"Not to you. Take his place." Tala handed me my beyblade. I looked down at it. On the surface it didn't look like much had been done but the way it felt in my hand— it was smoother, lighter— something had changed. Whatever Ian had done had already made it a better blade.

I gripped Falborg tightly as I made my way over to the beydish, to where Kai had only just vacated after being blown away by his bitbeast. As I held Falborg I felt my anxiety over having to face Tala slowly die away. Instead, I had Falborg's limitless rage. I had Falborg's strength and I had my own.

Tala stood opposite from me and I felt a rush of anger. He had been here, training with the people who had been my friends, learning about their new abilities while I'd been left alone with only Falborg and That Man. I'd been left with only anger and violence and they'd been here.

I clipped Falborg into my launcher, my lips curling up into a snarl. I looked at Tala. He'd begun this. Spencer may have been the one to enforce my exile but Tala had been the one to start this. I did what I did because I had no other choice and he had abandoned me when I'd needed him most.

Tala, oblivious to my mounting rage, lifted his blade. "You ready?" He called. Without waiting for an answer, he began to count down.

When I launched Falborg there was nothing there but anger and hurt. Falborg understood that. He understood in a way no one else could. We could never hurt his tormentors but he could help me hurt mine. We flew as one as he bore down on Tala's beyblade, on Wolborg.

I once again had the strange feeling of seeing something that was there and at the same time not. Above Tala's blade was the impression of a wolf, crouched and defensive.

I dismissed the image and concentrated on channelling all of my pain into Falborg and giving him my strength as he hurtled towards Wolborg. I'd aimed Falborg so that when he hit Tala's blade it would go flying at Tala, a small token of my appreciation. Here's what you turned me into, I hope you enjoy it.

A second before Falborg hit, however, Tala's blade moved and Falborg hit it with only a glancing blow that increased his momentum as he headed towards the edge of the dish. I swore and forced Falborg to swerve, changing his trajectory to circle the dish instead.

I could feel Falborg's rage at having been foiled so easily and I shared it. As one, we turned to rush Tala again. I felt a small wind pick up around us. It blew in the direction of Falborg's attack, helping to speed him up while also pulling at Tala's clothes and distracting him. At that crucial moment when Wolborg had dodged before, a stronger gust of wind blew, making Tala stagger.

That was all the opening I needed. Falborg flew in. I could almost see him, an image of fury, a Falcon diving for the kill.

"Wolborg!"

The wind changed. The temperature dropped and I could almost see icicles instantly forming in the now gale-force wind. I felt Falborg's fury as he was buffeted by the wind and hit with the flying shards of ice. Wolborg followed this attack by ramming into Falborg, knocking us off course.

I tried to bring us back on course, to correct what had happened. But it was too late. Falborg fell under the onslaught, screaming his rage.

As he fell so did I, my knees hit the ground and I caught myself with one hand, stopping myself from faceplanting. I felt an overwhelming wash of fatigue come over me. Everything I'd had had gone into Falborg and it hadn't been enough. Worse, it had been over so quickly.

Tala stood, his shoulders rising and falling as he gasped for breath. He caught my eye and gave me a small smile.

I hung my head and felt my eyelids droop. I didn't have the energy to be angry anymore. I didn't have the energy to feel anything.

Tala's hand on my shoulder made me jump with surprise. He'd walked around the dish and was standing beside me. Apart from a sheen of sweat on his forehead, the bastard seemed to have completely recovered. "Are you okay?" he asked, holding out a hand to help me up.

I ignored his hand and pushed myself to my feet. "Yeah. I'm fine." I lurched away from him and stepped into the beydish, sliding down into the centre to pick up Falborg. I could feel his anger at having lost but also a resolve not to lose the next time. Having checked on him, I felt all motivation to move leave me. I sat in the middle of the dish, holding Falborg gently.

"Session's over," Tala called. "Meet you all outside in an hour for the afternoon." As the rest of the team left, I heard Tala jump the rim of the dish and slide down into the centre to meet me.

"You did well," he said when he reached me, finding a comfortable spot on the dish and settling down. "I didn't know that you had the ability to use Falborg's powers. I even think you summoned him for a sec—"

"What do you want from me, Tala?" I interrupted.

Tala considered that for a long second before shrugging. "Do I need to know what I want?" he asked cryptically.

"You were the one who made me come here."

"Are you telling me you didn't enjoy it?"

I looked down at Falborg, I felt his unwavering support. No matter what, when the walls came closing in he'd be there. Falborg would never be frightened of me. Falborg knew what I was and didn't shy away from it. He saw my pain and fed it with his own. "I don't enjoy being dumped on the wayside until you deem it acceptable for you to pick me up again. I don't enjoy not understanding why now? Why did you come now? Why not leave me alone?"

"I wanted... I don't know." He sighed with frustration evident.

"When you've worked it out, let me know." I moved to get up but was stopped by Tala's hand closing around my arm. He tugged it none-too-gently and forced me to stay where I was.

"I saw you get out of that van and I realised that I didn't want to lose my best friend anymore."

"I'm not your best friend, Tala," I said with as much levelness as I could muster.

"You used to be."

"I used to be a lot of things," I said, pushing myself off the curved surface of the beydish and getting to my feet. I didn't want to be here. I didn't want to have Tala looking at me in the way he was. I didn't want—

Tala's hand caught mine again as I tried to leave. "Bryan—"

I snatched my hand away like I'd been burned. "What do you want from me, Tala?" I asked again.

"Nothing."

I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes. "Then leave me alone. I don't need this." I turned and began climbing out of the dish, trying to forget everything. I didn't want to admit that simply coming to the training session I'd gotten rid of some of the festering hatred inside of me. I didn't want to admit that being here, even with a team that clearly didn't want me, had made me feel human again.

"Walking away from me doesn't change anything," Tala said. "If you keep going like this you're going to wake up one day and find out that you've become Him."

My fists clenched. "You don't know anything about me, Tala. Not anymore."

I glanced behind me as I heard Tala stand, making his way carefully across the beydish until he stood next to me. "I know I don't want that to happen to you," he said carefully, making sure that my eyes were focussed on his.

I faltered then. There was something in his voice. Something I hadn't heard for over a year— since the last time I'd received a punishment from That Man and Tala had helped me. "I don't belong here, Tal" I said, looking at him. "I don't belong with you and your team. I—" lost my sanity for a time— right before I lost my ability to feel anything apart from anger, hate and loneliness.

Tala's lips quirked into a small smile. "It's my team, Bry. I get to decide who belongs."

"Why?"

Tala frowned. "Aside from everything I just told you before?" He looked towards the beydish for a few seconds, gathering his thoughts before he looked back at me. "Do you know what you did just before?" Without waiting for an answer he continued, "You used Falborg's powers and even summoned him for a bit. You did that without any coaching or training or anything, really."

I shoved my hands in my pockets, "So?" I asked.

"There's a reason Kai keeps on getting blown on his arse every time he tries to summon Dranzer." Tala bit his lip. "In order to get to that level you need to have a connection with your bitbeast. It needs to be your partner— to think what you think and to feel what you feel. The reason Kai can't do it is because he can't let go of that much control. He doesn't want to let anyone, not even Dranzer, that close. But you—" Tala looked away from me again. "It took me six months of solid practice to get as far as you did today."

But Wolborg wasn't your only option. I wanted to say. I didn't and, instead, opted for silence.

"I'm not asking you to join out of charity. You have something I need to make my team perfect." Tala gave me a wan smile. "Selfish, I know."

And somehow that was okay. Without Tala looking at me like I was a monster or that I somehow needed to be saved it was okay. I was okay. "...Can you teach me how to do that thing you did with Wolborg to beat me?"

Tala's eyes went calculating for a moment before he smiled. "Probably not— Falborg looks like he uses wind rather than ice. But we can figure out something just as cool, I'm sure." He frowned. "Well... maybe not quite as cool as ice..."

I groaned. "That was terrible."

His face lit up in a mischievous grin and I could almost pretend that nothing had changed and we were still sharing a room and he was still coming up with wild schemes to help us obtain bitbeasts. "I've been practicing. I kind of feel like, being the coach and captain, I need to have a small library of puns at my disposal, you know? To keep morale up and all that."

"I'm sure," I said, rolling my eyes and turning to walk out the door.

"Bryan—" Tala's serious tone made me pause as I looked over at him. "—I'm glad you're here."

"Outside in about half an hour, right?" I asked.

He nodded. "Right."

Please tell me what you think