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Mutt and Jeff
Chapter 25
G relaxed against his lover in the hot tub. He floated on a satiated high after three hours of the hottest sex to date. His worries about needing sex for part of his sustenance faded into thoughts about what to name their future children.
"How about Mutt and Jeff?" G asked, sitting forward and glancing over his shoulder at his lover.
"So you calling me, Mutt?"
"Nope," G said, "I'm calling our children Mutt and Jeff."
Sam flipped his partner around to face him. "Seriously, man?" He scrutinized his partner.
"Don't go all Navy SEAL on me." G leaned in close and kissed his lover.
Sam pushed his partner away from him.
"You're angry about this?"
"I don't like the inferences with those names."
"I wasn't relating to those inferences, okay, man, it was a joke, well maybe not completely a joke because I was—"
Sam dragged him under the water with him, amorously kissing his partner and sucking on his neck. G shot to the surface, panting for air. Sam dragged him back down under the water.
G struggled to the surfaced this time. "Stop!"
Sam came up for air and pulled G onto his lap.
"Okay, I'll think of something else."
"You're damned right you will."
"What's gotten into you, man?"
"You, I missed sucking and biting your neck."
"Almost too much for me." He leaned into his lover again, hoping he'd come up with something different for names. Yet his mind zeroed in on their stark differences. "What if, hear me out this time, what if—"
Sam drew his partner back hard against his hard muscular body. He lowered his voice to a sexy whisper, " You certain you want to go there again?"
"Why don't you wait for me to finish my sentence? Okay?" G asked. "I'm just saying, we're different as night and day."
"Where?" Sam reached down and grasped his partner's hardening member. "You talking about here?"
"Damn, why does everything have to be about sex? I don't get it. I just wanted a normal conversation about naming our children and all you can think about is sex."
"I missed it."
G had missed it too, when he stopped worrying about why he'd lost all interest in sex with his lover. He chocked it up to the deficiencies. G sighed and relaxed in his lover's arms. It had been one week too long without sex. "I did too."
"You mean sort of," Sam said, releasing his partner's member.
"I'm a worrywart, okay, does that make you happy?" G pouted.
"Nope."
"Can we get back to the subject? All I wanted to say was, what if they are as different as night and day?" In his mind, G saw two babies, one dark and one light.
"And I asked you before, would that matter to you?"
G sighed and thought again about his lover's question. "Only so far as people gawking at them and asking stupid questions."
"You mean like the sometimes stupid questions you ask our suspects?"
"Now you're asking for it!" G flipped around and faced his lover. Sam's face boasted a huge grin. "I hope you're joking."
"Gotcha good that time."
"I'm gonna get you good." He raised up and slid down on Sam's hardened member as if he never had stopped bouncing on it for the last hour.
"You want more? Is that it?" Sam dragged his partner under the water with him and pressed the man against the far wall of the huge hot tub. "Time for the jets and music again." He pressed the remotes for both and lifted G out of the water onto the deck.
"No, damn it, I want to name our kids."
"Not in the mood for it."
"When are you gonna be in the mood for it?" G panted with his lover's deep thrusts.
"Stop talking, man, you're bugging me again, and you know what that means."
"More intensity to drown out my talking," G said, allowing his lover to take complete control over his body.
"Is this what you wanted?"
"Nope."
Sam stopped in the middle of a powerful thrust. He pulled out and swam back over to the opposite side of the hot tub.
"What in the hell was that about?" G slid back into the water and stared across the hot tub at his lover.
"You said you didn't want it."
"You know what I meant." G attempted to climb out of the hot tub.
Sam swam behind G and surrounded his partner's waist. "Let's finish what I started."
Tears welled up in G's eyes. "Nope, I'm no longer interested in any of it including our discussion." He pulled away from his lover.
"You're touchy today."
"And you're too focused on sex."
Sam pulled G backwards with him into the water. He gently brought him to the steps and settled down on them. "What can I do to bring about peace in our relationship?"
"You've been reading too many psych magazines." G pulled away again and took the steps out of the water. He donned a turkish bathrobe and dried off his body with it before slipping it off onto the deck. G stepped into the master bedroom and climbed into bed. He wrapped himself in the comforter and snuggled underneath it.
Sam slid into bed behind his partner. "I'm serious about what I just said."
"And I'm serious about what I said and you made fun of it."
"What can I do to—"
"Stop! Okay? Just forget it."
"You want to name the babies."
G nodded.
"And I dissed you."
He nodded again and pulled away from Sam, burying his face in a pillow.
Sam wrapped his arms around G's waist and snuggled closer to him. He heard his partner softly crying into the pillow. "Please don't, G, damn, what can I do to make this up to you." He stroked his partner's head and back. "Okay, damn this, I'll say it. Guys just don't say it, okay, they don't, and you're gonna make me."
"Yep," G said through his sobbing.
"I'm sorry."
"Genuinely?" G raised his head off the pillow.
Sam flipped his partner onto his back and straddled G below his protruding abdomen. "Yes, I'm sorry. I'm caught up in my pleasures and not interested in the babies' names. There, I admitted it."
"Finally." G wrapped his arms around his lover's neck and drew him down into a passionate and sloppy kiss.
"Feel happy now?"
"Nope, satisfied."
"Yep, there's that cheshire cat grin you get whenever you finally get your way."
"I don't grin like a cat," G said, "I yowl like one." He winked at his lover.
Sam chuckled. "That you do and loud."
"You're the one who hounded me about those names, and now all you're interested in is sex."
"You're feeling better and I missed it. I needed it like you used to need it."
"Damn." The tables were turned and his lover now felt the overwhelming need to have sex. "Unfortunately, my drive hasn't returned since the vitamin deficiencies."
"I noticed." Sam leaned in and pecked his partner on the lips. "Maybe it'll take more time."
"Or maybe I'm getting closer to my due date." G counted the days he'd been pregnant and wondered if it meant he was closer to giving birth than they both had first believed.
"Let's go look at our calendar."
"I looked and I'm worried again."
"Ah, I see, that's what this is really about," Sam said. "I failed to pick up on your cues this time. Let's look together and I'll ease your worry."
"No need to go anywhere, the calendar's in my nightstand's drawer."
Sam opened the drawer and saw the calendar with dog-eared corners. He removed it and handed it to his partner.
G opened it to the day they first had consummated their relationship. He pointed to the day and then counted out loud through the months. "Five months."
"One problem with that, gestation is nine to ten months."
"For a woman, Sam, and the last time I looked I'm a man," G said. "What if the months are counted from the day I first bought the baby furniture?"
"What?" Sam's eyebrows raised high.
"It's a theory I've got going."
"I think you're grabbing at proverbial straws."
"What if I'm right? That makes it—"
"Eleven months."
"Damn." He glanced at the calendar and back up into Sam's eyes. "I can't even count right."
"You're worried and we need to find a way to squelch those worries."
"Access to the full investigation again."
"And you believe Hetty will allow that… in your condition."
"I'm hoping to slip one by her." G had planned the trip already in his mind and how to handle his operations manager. "Those files might show me the information we need, rather, the information I need to stop worrying about my delivery date."
"And if they don't?"
"I'm back to being a worrywart."
"Something you excel at and quite well," Sam said. "And how do you propose we do that?"
"Distractions," G said.
"So we're going to work?"
"An excursion to the office that is if you can keep your hands off me for a long enough time." G winked at his lover.
#
Sam parked in his designated space. He hopped out of the Challenger and helped G out of the passenger side. "Remember what we talked about on the way here."
"How can I forget? You made me repeat it back to you twice. We do have one bargaining chip."
"The tunnel below our home."
"Yes," G said, "if I have to use it I will."
"Go easy on her."
"It's me Sam."
"Right." He opened the door and ushered his partner into headquarters.
G wanted to hide his over pregnant size, but knew it was impossible. He showed, beyond showed. G sighed and entered the bullpen. Nobody. He relaxed his posture and realized he had held his breath. G released his pent up breath with a long sigh.
"Easy, man, no one's gonna bite."
"She'll bite."
"Ah yes." Sam eyed the area behind G's desk.
G startled and faced his operations manager. "Hetty."
"Mr. Callen, I thought you were supposed to be home on bed rest."
"I've gotten a reprieve."
"Well, that's good news."
"I need to talk to you about the investigation and the files."
"You two are officially off the case," she said. "I've given it to Mr. Deeks and Ms. Blye."
"Seriously, Hetty, what about after I deliver?" G asked, angrier than he imagined he'd be over this huge change in his life.
"You'll be," she eyed her agent's oversized body, "raising twins."
G faced his partner and gave him a look. "I'm going there." He flipped on his heels and faced his operations manager again. "I need to see those files and I won't take no for an answer."
"That's a negatory."
"Negatory? What?! I can't believe this. That was our case."
"Was is the operating word, Mr. Callen," Hetty said.
"I'll trade what I need to see for something you want," G said.
She eyed him. "Are you bribing me, Mr. Callen?"
"Nope, he's using a bargaining chip," Sam said, coming along side his partner. "I guarantee this will help your investigation."
"Two against one," G said, "I'd take the bargaining chip and run with it if I were you."
"What are you in need of?" Hetty asked.
"Specific time frames for delivery of babies."
"You feel you're close." She eyed her lead agent's huge protruding belly again.
"Yes, and until I know for certain, I'll be worried about it."
"Follow me." She motioned with a hand and walked toward the archive room.
When he entered the room, G's jaw dropped. Every file was spread out on five large tables. "Are they categorized?"
"Yes, Mr. Callen, here's the area you'll want to see." She sauntered over to the largest table and pointed to one section of it.
"Looks as if you need help." He leaned over the table and examined the slips of paper. Pregnancy after pregnancy resulted in early delivery dates, all in the fifth to sixth months. "Just how many men are involved?"
"At last count, fifty men, that's fifty men with viable babies."
G attempted to contain his surprise. He stared at the names on one list on a different table. "And these?"
"All died."
"No multiple births?"
"Not a one, Mr. Callen, you're the only one," she said. "And your information?"
He flipped on his heels and faced her where she stood directly behind him. "When I first moved into my home I remembered a tunnel I discovered under the house while I lived there as a kid."
"A tunnel?"
"Yes, and someone's been busy creating their own underground world," G said. "They connected it to my tunnel."
"Wait a minute Mr. Callen," she lowered her voice, "you're saying this tunnel connects to theirs."
"Yes, that's what I said," G said. "I need to sit down."
Sam lead his partner over to an empty chair on the far side of the room.
"What were the symptoms before delivery?"
Hetty eyed him. "Pain."
"That sucks because it's the only thing I've got aversion to," G said, attempting to relax. Being with Sam and being relaxed appeared to be the only two things which decreased his pain. The pain commenced upon his discharge from the hospital. "And there's a state-of-the-art surveillance system set up near the entrance to the tunnel under my home. I suggest we survey their surveillance."
"No taking it down?"
"Ill advised," Sam said. He stroked his partner's back.
"Because?"
"You'd have to go down there to understand," G said, matching his breaths to his partner's strokes on his back. He hoped the pain subsided soon. "They've got refrigerators and freezers filled with my food."
"Mr. Callen!"
"I know, it sounds… impossible… but it's true."
"He trusted them to provide him with the change in diet the doctor ordered," Sam said.
"And it was in your refrigerator when you got home?"
"Yes, Hetty, everything down to the probiotic," G said. "Creepy."
"That's more than creepy, Mr. Callen, they've got access to your medical records."
"And who knows what else," G said.
"There you go again with that conspiracy theory," Sam said.
"Well, what if they chose me on purpose?"
"Seriously, I told you not to go there."
"I'm just saying it's possible."
"Gentlemen. I'll start surveillance on their comings and goings," Hetty said.
"One more thing, I deciphered the Russian encrypted pig Latin message they left on the computers," Sam said.
"What? How come I'm the last to know, again?" G asked.
"You were sleeping off those deficiencies," he said. "For your information, she's the last to know."
"Okay, second to last to know." G stood and walked over to the table where he had read the names of the men who'd delivered viable babies.
"The messages state that they know we were in the tunnel system and to watch our next step."
"Threats?" G asked. "Is that all they've got? I would've hoped for something better than threats."
"Disappointing? I thought so too," Sam said.
"I'll take that into account when we set up the surveillance," Hetty said.
"And just to be extra cautious, pretend they're surveilling you," G said.
'This is convoluted," she said.
"It's been that way from the beginning," G said. "Why change your modus operandi now? They certainly won't. Neither should we change ours. Sam we'll give you the particulars. I need to go to the little boy's room." G left his operations manager and his partner staring at each other.
#
G swore he heard the pounding of a hammer against the bedroom wall. It awakened him from a deep sleep. Another well needed nap in the middle of the afternoon. He glanced to his left. The closet door was missing. In its place was a smoothed wall ready for painting. G edged out of bed. He stood on wobbly legs and surveyed his partner's handiwork. Sam was more talented than he'd let on when it came to remodeling. No wonder his partner suggested the remodel.
G felt along the wall where the door had been. A perfect wall. He almost tripped over a paint can. Everything required to paint the dry wall, no, it was enough for the entire wall, was at his feet. He crouched and opened the gallon of paint. His jaw dropped open. This must be one of Sam's pranks. Bright red. It wasn't G's idea of a relaxing color. He poured paint into a paint tray liner and dipped a roller brush into it. G started painting where the wall met the outside wall.
Sam joined his partner with another roller brush.
"Bright red?" G asked.
"Passionate and sexy," Sam said.
"Too much." G pouted. "I'm not gonna paint the whole room in this color."
"Neither am I. One wall."
"I think I can live with that."
"Good."
They finished painting up to the furniture. Sam moved it away from the wall.
"I could help."
"Seriously? No. Painting is your speed."
"Thanks." G dipped his roller brush into the paint and continued to paint the wall.
"Sam's orders."
"No doctor's orders?" G asked.
"Nope, just me wanting to keep you safe."
"Thanks Mom."
Sam picked up his roller brush and joined his partner again. "It's for your own good."
"I don't think so," G said. "I think you've got ulterior motives. This odorless paint?"
"Reduced emissions."
"Something you don't have to worry about." G eyed his partner's pants front.
"Just painting with you gets me hot for your body."
"You certain it isn't the paint color?" G smirked and winked at his partner.
"See, it's working already." Sam chuckled.
"I'm in trouble." G made a face and doubled over at the waist, placing his roller brush in the paint tray. "Got those weird symptoms again."
Sam dropped his roller brush into the tray and helped his partner into bed.
"I hope I'm not ready to give birth."
"I just wish you had told me about these symptoms when they first occurred."
"Call me stubborn." G snuggled under the covers and shuddered. The pains were worse this time.
Sam massaged G's lower back and buttocks.
"No sex."
"I'm following doctor's protocol."
"Just making certain," G said. He panted through waves of pain.
"Not working?" Sam asked.
"Not yet." G winced and shuddered again.
"Roll over onto your stomach."
"Seriously?" G attempted the impossible. He managed a half-hearted belly roll.
"Perfect." Sam deepened his massage.
"Easy, Sam, not so hard."
"Okay, not working, time for part two." Sam autodialed Dr. Markus and left a message.
"Delivery?" G asked, hoping it wasn't time yet.
"Maybe, let's see what he recommends first."
"Is the nursery finished?" G rolled back onto his side. Even a semi-stomach position sent shockwaves of pain throughout his body.
"Everything. Paint too."
"What color? I hope not red."
"Never, the last thing needed are two hungry and over exited babies."
"Agreed." G panted through another onslaught of pain.
"It's pale green."
"What about the closet? Did adding it do anything?"
"I took pictures." Sam laid on the bed facing G. He flipped through photographs, showing his partner the remodeling of their nursery.
"You combined the closets and opened them up to the room. Great idea."
"Adds about 100 square feet."
"And our closet?" G asked through intense huffing and puffing.
"Punched a hole near the bathroom and framed in the walls."
"Just like we discussed," G said. "I never know you were this handy."
"I'm full of surprises," Sam said. His cellphone vibrated and he answered it. "Yes, everything followed and no resolution of symptoms." Sam listened to the doctor's instructions and disconnected the call.
"The verdict?" G asked.
"He says try the hot tub."
"Yeah, sure he did, a good excuse for a hot time." G winked at him.
"Actually he told me sex would help you."
"Come on, Sam, that's your story." G sat up and undressed. "I wish I knew why sex doesn't appeal to me like it did."
"I think it's the phase you're going through before it's time to deliver."
"Different priorities." G patted his naked abdomen.
Sam assisted his partner to the hot tub and helped him into it. "We good?" He stripped off his own clothes and tossed them on the deck. Sam sunk into the hot water and sighed.
G slid against Sam's warmth and relaxed, the pain left his body on contact with his partner's body.
"Well?" Sam asked.
"Gone. I'm not surprised." G sighed. "You want, you know—"
"Sex, only if you're up to doing it."
"Yeah." G swam to the other side and adjusted the remote controls. A sudden sharp pain struck his abdomen. G doubled over, grabbing the edges of the hot tub and crying out. "Damn it. No!" He lost his grip and collapsed into the water.
Sam scooped G into his arms and carried him into the house. He dialed 911 and quickly dried off himself and his partner.
G moaned and grasped his abdomen. "Make it stop. Hurts."
"I think the only way is the inevitable." Sam dressed himself and then his partner. He lifted G into his arms and walked toward the living room. He opened the front door and waited for the paramedics on the front stoop.
Two paramedics arrived and brought a gurney up the front walkway.
Sam settled G onto the gurney.
G grasped his partner's arm. He whispered, "Don't leave me."
"I'm gonna ride with you."
G sighed and released Sam's forearm.
After the paramedics loaded G into the ambulance, Sam climbed into it. He sat and held G's hand. "We good?"
"Last time you asked me that I collapsed."
"True, you can't go there now."
"I'm scared." G squeezed Sam's hand. He was thankful the hospital was close and at the same time nervous about what was to come.