"Boy am I glad to see your face…" Tony spoke first. "I'd hate to have died with the last image being that anesthesiologist…"

Ziva smiled down at him. "I should be flattered, yes?"

"You should see that anesthesiologist..."

She laughed slightly. "It seems you are no worse for wear."

"I'm a DiNozzo….we don't give up easy."

"I can see that." She examined him for a moment. "Do you need anything?"

"Not that you mention it…"

She stopped him. "That is PG rated."

"You're no fun."

"So I have been told…" She mumbled to herself, hoping Tony wouldn't be able to decipher it. She was wrong.

"We're all struggling Ziva…take me for example, I've made a total of two jokes in the last thirty seconds…which could be an indication that I'm feeling better or that I am deathly afraid of feeling like I really do…"

"That is pretty insightful Tony."

"Yeah, well laying in a hospital bed for a week will do that to a man."

She sat up. "Then how is it that you really feel?"

"Physically I feel like I just got done sparring with Gibbs…emotionally, I could burst into tears at any moment…I'm pretty good at hiding it though huh? It's an acquired skill."

"Yes, it is."

He waited for her to elaborate, but when she didn't he continued. "You and me are not all that different you know?" He caught her glare. "Theoretically speaking I mean…I hide behind my snide remarks and you just hide."

"I do not hide."

"Don't you?" He swallowed, not exactly sure what he was getting himself into. And after contemplating for a moment he reverted to his usual demeanor. "Anyway, I just got out of major surgery, I could've died…we should be talking about how happy you are that I didn't die…if I saw a white light…if I had weird dreams during surgery…"

"But you do not want to talk about those things. And neither do I." She stated simply and awaited her partner's response with an expressive look on her face.

He smiled up at her. "No, I guess we don't."

"You are obviously struggling with all of this…as am I. There is no reason why we should beat around the tree…we should just lay it out there. Express how we really feel."

An awkward silence passed.

"I'm not good at this." Tony admitted. "I'm a guy."

"You were certainly picking me apart a moment ago. Perhaps you are not as bad at it as you think you are."

"If I share, you share. Deal?" He lifted up his hand slowly and watched her take it.

"Deal. You first."

"Why do I have to go first?" He whined.

"Because you are the one in the hospital bed, and I am a trained assassin."

"True," he agreed regrettably and thought for a moment. Come on Tony, express your feelings…how hard could that be? He cleared his throat as if expecting to struggle through the following statements. "I uh, I hate feeling like I cant do anything to make this better…I hate that the Probie got hurt…I hate that Gibbs looks like he could collapse at any second…I hate that Abby had to die alone. I hate a lot of things right now."

She leaned towards him. "You are right…you are very good at hiding it."

"It's not that I'm good…I just don't know what the hell else to do. Which might I add…I also hate. I can't event think straight enough to come up with a movie character reference…"

"Not a bad thing." She jested softly. "I do not blame you for being angry. It seems to be the going emotion as of late….except for McGee of course."

"Yeah, well the Probie has his own way of working through things…guess we all do."

She noticed the look on his face and nodded. "My turn yes?"

"No time like the present."

She thought for a moment. "I suppose I am feeling anger as well. But not necessarily at myself. Unlike you I have been able to say goodbye to her…I have been able to offer comfort to my teammates…and although I am still sad, I know the pain will subside over time…that I have learned. But in this moment, here with you…I feel frustrated."

"Why?"

"Because you should not be lying there…you should not have almost died. You should have been with us to say goodbye…you should have been grieving in a healthy way and not lying in a hospital bed in pain…" Her tone became a bit fierce.

"I chose to go to that warehouse Ziva…I knew what I was doing."

"No you did not." She replied quickly. "You were blinded…blinded by your faith in one man. A man who as far as I can tell, did not want to be saved."

"I'm not sorry for what I did." He also answered quickly. "I love the boss…and I don't care if he was standing on the edge of a ten story building…I still would've tried."

"He was reckless Tony…he was reckless and he was selfish. Tell me you are not so blinded that you still cannot see that."

Tony took in a breath. "Ziva…he lost Abby…do you have any idea how much he loved her? God, stop thinking so logically, and start thinking about how messed up in the head he probably was…I know somewhere in your heart you understand that."

"Pain is not new to him Tony…he should have known how to channel it."

"You're not Gibbs, Ziva…and hell, neither am I. You don't know what he needs or how he handles things…you can't use general explanations of grief for someone like him…"

"It does not excuse what he did."

"Who said anything has to? It happened. It sucks, but it happened. I tried to keep you and McGee out of it so you wouldn't get hurt…was that right or wrong? You would say wrong…I would say right. Do you want to hate me too?"

"You were not thinking logically…you were allowing your emotions to cloud your judgment."

"And you never have?"

"No, I have not."

He cleared his throat, his demeanor still rather calm. "Well I'm glad we've declared that you're perfect…"

Ziva took in a breath. "He is our leader Tony…he does not get held to the same standards as you or me…he made poor decisions. Ones that led to disastrous outcomes. I cannot simply let it go."

He went silent as if taking it all in. "I'm not saying he didn't make the best choices Ziva…but I was there when I told him about Abby…I saw what it did, and frankly I'm still scared as hell as to what its going to do…but I know I'd rather have a boss who feels and makes a poor decision now and then, then one whose perfect and doesn't."

"And if his poor decision had killed me? Or McGee?"

"Then I would try as hard as I could to forgive him….because deep inside." He pointed at his heart. "I know he'd die himself before letting that happen…"

"You are still blinded then?"

Tony tried to nod. "I guess I am."

"And you are okay with that?"

He looked intently at her eyes. "Why aren't you?"

"Because he was wrong Tony. He was wrong to leave us behind…how can you not see that?"

"I never said he wasn't wrong Ziva…and I never said he was right. I just know that he loves us…why isn't that enough for you?"

"Because love does not conquer all. There are consequences to the choices we make."

"And you don't think he's suffered the consequences?"

She shook her head slowly. "Not all of them."

"How you feeling Tim?" Gibbs took a seat beside him and ran a quick hand over his face.

"Doing okay…getting a bit tired of everyone asking me that though."

Gibbs mind took him back to a time he'd done his best to leave behind him. "You get used to it."

Tim gave his boss a once over. "Really?"

"No," he amended his statement. "But you start to work out quick answers."

"So you lie?"

"Half truths, Tim. Trust me; it'll help keep you sane."

McGee hovered on the word trust. "I do you know."

Gibbs glanced at him and waited for more of an explanation.

"I trust you. I don't know…I just thought you should know that."

"Not so sure I've earned it."

Tim looked up at him. "Now I didn't think that was possible…"

"What?"

"You feeling sorry for yourself."

Gibbs almost smiled. "Your turn to give me a pep talk huh?" He leaned back against the wall and rested his head. "You ever think you trust me a little too much McGee?"

"When I've made mistakes, you've stood behind me…It would be wrong of me to stop trusting you now."

"So you think I made a mistake?"

"I think you did what anyone would do boss."

"Which was a mistake?"

Tim swallowed. "We trusted you to lead us, and when we needed it the most, you left us behind. I understand why you did what you did…but it still hurt. Hurt that you went to take revenge…when maybe you weren't the only one who wanted it."

Gibbs leaned forward. "You're right."

"I am?" He sounded doubtful for a moment. "I mean, I am boss."

"Proud of you McGee." He nodded towards him. "Took a lot of guts to say that."

Tim agreed. "Guess given the circumstances, you don't seem as tough as you used to be…" He met Gibbs glare. "Not that you don't still look tough boss, because you do, I was just saying that…"

Gibbs put his hand up to quiet him. "Thanks for the pep talk."

"Someone had to take Abby's place…" He responded before realizing what he'd said. "Sorry boss, I know that no one can…"

Gibbs watched Tim's face fall. "She'd be proud of you too."

"You think so?"

"Since when do I say things I don't mean McGee?"

Tim nodded. "Never."

"And I don't plan on starting now." He looked at the door way to see Ziva stepping out of it; then watched Tim begin to make his way inside. It wasn't long before Ducky and Jackson made themselves scarce; leaving the two of them alone in an awkward silence…

"What is the expression?" She stopped for a moment. "Shall we dance?"

Gibbs stood up. "That depends."

"On what?"

"Who leads..."