"NO! DON'T YOU GET IT WOMAN? THOSE THINGS ARE EVIL!"

I stood as silently as I could, laughing would only further hurt his dignity. Madara's hair has, well. . . gotten pretty darn long. It was to his shoulders when he had first come here, when I had first taken him in, but now it was freakin' halfway down his back. Too long for a boy. And seeing as I was technically a guardian of sorts, I had to cut his hair.

Upon first confrontation, he had merely run away. Now however, was different. I had him stuck in a room which had special devices that disrupted his chakra, rendering him incapable of using jutsu to run away.

"What, these?" I held the scissors in my hand, snipping the air. Every time I snipped, he twitched. And as I love to torment people, I was having a great time making him twitch with anticipation.

"Yes, those." I finally snickered. He frowned, but smirked as he got an idea.

"But Tobi doesn't want a hair cut Chelsea chan!" Oh dear god. He was going to do the 'I'm-cute-spastic-Tobi-that-everyone-loves-and-if-you-hurt-me-everyone-will-hate-you' routine. It always works, but only as a last resort because it ruins his image. If this works out, it will be excellent blackmail.

"Tobi kun will be fine, Chelsea just needs to cut Tobi kun's hair. It'll be easier to brush, Chelsea promises."

"BUT TOBI LIKES TOBI'S HAIR LONG!" Now he was going to get everyone's attention, and annoy everyone until I was forced to stop due to complaints. Ugh. . .

"Chelsea will leave it at Tobi's shoulders, ok?"

"No! Tobi doesn't want a haircut!" Wow. . . and he's supposed to be a proud Uchiha warrior? Pfft. I groaned, as I could hear my brother and sister yelling at me from the other side of the apartment to 'shut the hell up!' I turned around, fully prepared for what lay in store.

Just as expected, as soon as I turned my back, 'Tobi' attempted to grab the scissors. I saw this as my only chance.

I flipped backwards, grabbed his hair, and butchered it.

Looking in the mirror, he had no choice but to let me finish. With Deidara's help, it looked pretty darn good. It still retained the long spikes in front, and had a sweet ponytail sticking out the back as well as some coming down the sides to cover his ears. Apparently, keeping your face framed by your hair was an Uchiha-thing.

"Wait. . . how come Deidara gets to keep his hair long?" Crud, now I have to explain.

"Because it's Deidara. Do you want to be Deidara?"

"Ew, hell no."

"Plus, you're going to pick up chicks this way."

"You think?"

"Yup. Tons of girl love the guy with the awesome-looking hair."

"Then. . . how come you never show interest in anyone? You're a girl, I would know."

"Beca- WAIT, How do you know that?" He paused, obviously deciding if he was feeling bold. He apparently decided he wasn't, because he was there one moment, and gone before I could blink.

(Note: Strangle him later, and find out what the hell he did to know for sure that I'm a girl.)